Not quite a horder - decluttering
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FreshStarter & Teka: Doubling down with you both. I took a really fun job after my formal retirement so I kept working until my cancer came back in 2013. 2-1/2 years of treatment then another year with a broken arm that ended up with a frozen shoulder & PT. That's more than four years ago but I'm still saying EXACTLY what FreshStarter posted. I don't know what I'll need in my 'next life'. Likely I will need another post retirement job. Part of my problem is I HATE to shop and the clothes I have fit well again & look good on me. I just don't go anywhere to wear them more than once a month. (caveat - it's so nice to live in levis).
Jazzy - you are so lucky to have the consignment shops. Most of them here only want designer clothes and that's not my wardrobe type. Anyway, I so admire your dedication to "recycling" and removing. I like the idea about making a pile of only what you really like. I always turn to the same few things when I want to look good & feel comfortable. And exactly the same things every time I travel.
I think I'll post the motto below on my bathroom mirror to help push me to action.
Looking in my closet I hear whispers of 'we are all your former lives, now go find a new one'
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I was able to wear jeans at my last job, so I have almost no 'good' clothes anymore. I volunteer at the senior center and try to wear nicer jeans there, but no one cares as long as I'm clean. I realized this year that I have a number of jeans and cords, but no tops. I tried on t-shirts in several stores and they aren't made for my body. I finally found a few at Macy's that fit and aren't outrageously expensive. I haven't had an office job since I was 68 and I'm 77 now. My summer shirts seem to last better than the winter ones. I bought one winter shirt recently and plan on getting a couple more. I can wear the old stuff at home. I shop consignment when I can - as do most of the other seniors.
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I went to my consignment store to pick up some unsold items today and found the most fabulous red patent leather jacket (with tags still on it) I got with credit. Here is to trading in the old and coming away with something fab!
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jazzygirl, I love your red patent leather jacket!!!
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Oh boy...me too!!!
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Truly a great find!!
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Love it to!
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Great jacket!
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It was about this time last year that dh and I began putting things in a spare room that We planned to sell in a garage sale the next spring. That gave us many months to do it gradually and gave us time to assess what we really wanted to keep and what we were fine parting with.
Then summer came and we had wonderful free time to swim at the local pool, dh went fishing a lot, I started walking routinely and lost weight, and dh's garden was the best one ever. Tho not very big, it produced quite a bit this year, and we spent the summer cooking up a storm with all the veggies.
I allowed myself to give little thought to decluttering during the summer. It was a wonderful gift I gave myself.
Now that cooler weather keeps me inside more, I am reassessing nooks and crannies to see what I can refine in terms of decluttering. I opened a drawer in the living room yesterday, taking two minutes to declutter it. I pulled a few more clothes out of the closet to send to Goodwill. I opened a catch all cupboard in the kitchen and tossed unecessary stuff. The major push to get rid of stuff was last year. Now I am taking a maintenance approach, making sure things stay cleared.
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I am currently reading "Clear Your Clutter With Feng Shui". I read it mostly for the inspiration to declutter, not necessarily the feng shui, which I learned about years ago.
I love learning new tips to help motivate myself, and here is one from this book:
"In this book, i'm not telling you that you "should" do this or "should" do that. My intention is to explain how keeping clutter can affect you so that you can make your own informed choices.
" Should" is one of the most disempowering words there is. When you use it, you feel guilty and obligated. My advice is to dump the word from your vocabulary forever. Use "could" not "should"from here on in.
Feel the difference: " I should start clearing my clutter today". Or "I could start clearing my clutter today". "Could" empowers you, gives you choice, and later allows you to take the credit for a job well done. "Should" depresses you, makes you feel at fault, and brings you little joy on the completion of the task.
I suggest you also dump "can't" and substitute "won't. " Then you'll really make some progress. Again feel the difference: " I can't decide whether to keep this or let it go." Or: "I won't decide whether to keep this or let it go." In the won't example, you are expressing your decision as a being of free choice, and if you ask yourself why you won't let it go, you will discover it comes down to some subconscious block you and never realized you had: "I won't decide whether to keep this or let it go because it brings up all the feelings to do with my mother/father/spouse ...". And so on. Well, you still have work to do, but at least you're being honest now."
***Ladies, these two changes in wording are something new I never tried before.
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Another insightful Tip from the above book when decluttering:
" Wear something red
Just as red dancing shoes make your feet feel like moving, so does wearing red clothes make you feel like taking action. If you don't have anything red, then wear colors from the warm end of the spectrum (orange yellow, etc) rather than cool colors like blue. Many people keep clutter as a way of comforting themselves. Warm colors are more emotionally comforting then cool ones, so if you wear colors from the warmer end of the spectrum while sorting through your stuff, you'll probably find it easier to let stuff go.
Don't wear black or gray
Black attracts low level vibrations and will quickly make you feel tired when clearing clutter. Gray is also not a good color to wear because it can cause you to be indecisive about what stays and what goes. "
***Ladies, that color thing is interesting and I will have to try it!
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Divine- I got into the whole feng shui thing 20 years ago and love the concept of moving the chi energy. The clutter can take away from that and have seen when I declutter, it opens up new things to happen in my life. In the book I read years ago, it asked you to stare at a pile of something in your house and see how you feel. Piles can be quite draining actually!
Also, my favorite color is red and it has always been a "power color" for me. Whenever I have important meetings with clients, I always wear red. Something about it gives me a good feeling, lots of confidence. Power of red does rock!
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Good tips DevineMrsM. On things I am not sure about keeping or getting rid of, I always have a 'maybe' box/pile to go through again on a different day. Sometimes if I am not in a get rid of stuff mood, I am wasting my time trying to get rid of stuff, all I can do then is organize some of the clutter to make it easier for when I can get rid of things.
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Jazzy, I so agree, piles can be draining. I read something years ago about something other than declutterng, and it mentioned "remove energy drains". This meant look around and see what it is in your life that is zapping energy and figure a way to get rid of them.
At the time, I looked at a large pile of photos on a chair, pilng up for a year or two that needed my attention. I wanted to scan them and put them on my computer screen saver (obviously before digital) but never had time since My big copier/scanner was clunky and slow. To remove this energy drain, I bought a small hand-held photo scanner that I continuously fed photos into making the process much easier and so much faster. Worth the cost.
Then, I bought a few pretty photo boxes, put the photos in them and tucked them in a cabinet. The idea of putting them into albums drained my energy and seemed extremely tedious.
It was huge for me to move on from this project. And it felt soo good.
Misty, yep, it helps to be in the mood to declutter. Some times, tho, I allow myself to think, Oh, I don't want to do this, and then five seconds later, make myself at least start. Even ten minutes here or there helps.
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Mrs. M--Good for you! I've got a ways to go to get to maintenance, but am looking forward to it!. Love the should/could, can't/won't effect. Definitely going to use it! Fascinating about the color thing, too.
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What's better than finding over $80 worth of Macy's gift cards in a drawer? Trying on pants at Macy's and realizing that you need to drop from a 2X to a 14~!! Took me 2 hours, but I walked away with bunch of pants and tops that actually FIT.
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Poodles, How exciting! I'll bet you look pulled together and attractive in your new wardrobe.
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Mustlove- contracts on the weight loss. You go girl!
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Poodles, my gosh. That is super impressive. Quite a dramatic drop in clothing size! It's as if the universe was congratulating you for all your effort by unveiling those hidden gift cards from Macy's!!!
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Poodles--WooHoo!!!!!!!
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Ladies
I don't post much but I do read , while always trying to DE clutter I continue to bring more crap in as I carry stuff out
We had a sad story in our town yesterday and I guess its made me stop and think . a lady died in her home and the clutter was so bad the family had to go in and clear a path for the EMTS to get it. Now while Im a long ways from that form of clutter , people say how can that happen, how can you let your house get that bad.
Well its would be easy, she was ill and had been for years. With any illness comes depression. Her husband clearly had no issue living in that mess and her child didn't know any different as he grew up in it .
They say they found her still in her nightgown on top of 4 ft of filth she must have died right after her husband left for work , Im thinking that poor lady was so ill and depressed that she may never got out of her nightgown all day and had no clue how to control what she was living in..
I didn't know her , never meet her but my heart breaks for her. She was not a old lady mid 40's husband and child and I assume in laws. How awful to be ill and live like that , how could someone not see what was going on and get some help in there. you can bet the state will step in now and take that child out of that house
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Poodles: Congrats on the weight loss and the new wardrobe!
Divine: I like the feng shui decluttering advice and the power of words!
Honeybeaw: that is a sad story.
Being inside in the cooler weather and decluttering is great for all of you up north,, for me in FL,, NOW is the time of year I can work in the yard without dying of heat stroke! But I'm still cleaning out a little here and there. Got the shed out back cleaned out and organized with the paint cans and gardening stuff. Can easily walk in there now and find things.
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I found this sectional by the side of the road. It was from a rarely used room. A couple was downsizing and wanted to replace this sectional with bedroom furniture for visiting grandchildren.
In our house, this sectional is replacing a very old sofa and two chairs from hubby’s grandma.
I was so happy how nice the room looks that it inspires me to keep decluttering.
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HoneyBeaw, it really is sad when you read something like that. Sometimes people are so attached to their things that it interferes with relationships and normal life. My sister's in-laws had a similar story. The MIL had signs of dementia, but the FIL wouldn't allow anyone to intervene. They were Class A hoarders--like, they would be seriously eligible to be on TV. Every room in the house was piled high, to the ceiling, with little rabbit trails throughout the house. MIL had taken to falling on the stuff, but she was always able to get back up. Then, one night, she fell out of bed. She couldn't get up and she was in too much pain for FIL to get her up. He had no other option but to call 911.
It took the EMTs almost 20 min to get to her because of the immense hoard. They had to clear paths through each room just to get the stretcher to her. They called Adult Protective Services right at the scene. FIL was furious--he just wanted them to put her back in bed and leave! Totally in denial.
Unfortunately, MIL broke her pelvis and her lower back. Her dementia took a dramatic turn for the worse while she was in the hospital; she went to memory care upon discharge and died shortly thereafter. The FIL was not allowed to return to the house unless he cleaned it up. He finally was forced to admit that it was far beyond his capabilities and he entered an assisted living facility, where he absolutely thrived. My sister and her husband came down to clean up the home and put it up for sale. It took them 6 WEEKS to clear it out and they filled up 7 of those giant dumpsters. His mother was one to store important things with trash things, so they had to go through every. single. box. and. bag. Six weeks. They swore they'd never do that again. And then OUR mother died and left almost the same situation, but not quite as bad.
Which is why my DH and I have been on a tear since June to reduce our belongings to the minimum needed to have a good life: it all fits in a 10' x10' storage shed. We have moved into our 33' RV, so there is really no room for things that aren't necessities. I think our kids will thank us for it one day.
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Good morning friends- I continue along with my quest of decluttering. Still getting rid of home decorations that no longer fit (nor need to be stored) and clothing that is too big for me. Each time I go to either consignment or thrift, I bring many items and come away with some nice treasure. This week it was this pair of never worn leather boots from the thrift shop I take a lot of my donations to. Only $6 too! I have two more apts with consignment this month to get rid of more things, including some holiday wear that I have too much of (don't seem to go to as many holiday events anymore....)
Mominator- that is one seriously NICE find by the side of the road. That sectional is in mint condition and looks perfect in your space. One of the nice things about clearing out of things you don't want or need is to have space for something like that which is just perfect. Enjoy your new sectional and keep purging!
Teka- I am doing outdoor decluttering too as I broke down the outdoor things this week. Throwing out a bunch of old pottery. Muy rule is usually something like 10-20 things out, 1 new in!
Honey and MustLove- sad stories about the hoarders and the people around them who seem to just sit on the side lines, but think it is harder than one might imagine about how to deal with this. I have a friend whose father was a hoarder and used to make the kids rummage through the dump for junk. The family tried for years to get him help without his willingness, but did manage to get him to keep his hoarding in a garage space, that was floor to ceiling with is stash. But when he became ill, they took over and got a company in to clear things out. Stories of hoarding do keep me on my toes and constantly purging......
Gennie- it was very hot here this summer and so some of the decluttering in the garage had to wait to the fall with the cooler weather. Good luck getting things done now that you have cooler temps too.
Keep going ladies......
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Teka--Hooray for spiffy windows!
Honey--oh, my, what a sad story. I can see how all the junk can pile up when someone doesn't feel well, or has depression, especially if they live alone. Even with family it can get ahead so sneakily. I can picture her striving mightily to keep her husband's work clothes in decent shape and not having any energy to do anything else. I was functioning that way for quite a while, keeping up with the work clothes and letting everything else go because I just did not have the energy left to even think about it. It took a major change in my life to turn things around. The cleaning out is still not complete, but I've cleaned outmore than 20 cubic yards of junk, trash and clutter since spring and am still making progress. I feel so badly for that poor woman who never had a chance to change things and feel the sense of control and accomplishment that brings.
Glennie--Good for you getting the Shed cleaned out and organized! Yup, time for me to focus more inside than outside, got to take the environment and temperature into account while doing this work.
Mominator--WHAT A FIND!!!
Poodles--I'm sure your kids are thanking you now for downsizing and minimizing!
Jazzy--nice boots!
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Mominator: Awesome find!!!
Poodles: good for you for thinking of the kids. Been trying to get my mom to de-clutter, she's not a hoarder by any means,, but there is still a LOT of stuff in her house.
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Mominator, it isn't every day you come across such a great cast off; the sofa is a terrific find. The bonus is you have the perfect spot in your house for it! It looks fabulous!
Yes, the hoarder stories are sad. Ocassionally, local news here reports on situations similar to that. Once it was a fire and the woman inside perished because she could not be reached over the mounds of debris in her house.
I've read up on hoarding, and two brothers, the Collyer brothers from Harlem, became infamous in the 1940s because of their bizarre hoarding. It may have been one of the first kinds of these hoarding stories to come to light. They were accomplished men whose lives disintegrated into this behaviour over the years. From Wikipedia: "they obsessively collected books, furniture, musical instruments, and myriad other items, with booby traps set up in corridors and doorways to ensnare intruders. In March 1947, both were found dead in their home surrounded by over 140 tons of collected items that they had amassed over several decades."
Heres a link if you want to read the article: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collyer_brothers
Glennie, you're right, the cooler weather in Ohio brings me indoors to tend to household matters. Many people like to spring clean, but I do it in the fall; in the spring, I want to be outdoors caring for the yard and flowerbeds enjoying the nicer weather.
Poodles, we camped in the summer for several years in a 27 foot RV. No way could I downsize that much for every day living, even at 33 feet!
We've been really good about not allowing stuff to creep back into the home after discarding old stuff. Our house was originally a side by side duplex that we opened up to live in the whole thing. This means we have lots of room and rooms and it is easier to take on more than you need if you are not paying attention. We are more vigilant about that at this point in our lives.0 -
Divine- interesting article about the brothers in NYC.
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Wow, what a story about the brothers in NY.
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