For Older People with Sense
Comments
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3jays ~ Thinking of you still & sending prayers & comfort with love. ♥
Marianne ~ What an absolutely beautiful baby girl! Little kisses, sweet smells, tiny coos - oh, what a lovely time. I'm so happy for you!
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3Jays, so sorry for your loss. Marianne, what a beautiful baby. Wouldn't mind having her around to cuddle. lynda
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Marianne, what a super baby...I just love little girls... oooo... think of all the dresses you can buy her ! Are you Grandma, Grannie, Nana, Nona, or something else?
You are smarter than me. I CANNOT master posting pics on here...one day, I promise myself. But I know even if , by some strange quirk, I could manage to post a pic, it will be gone from my mind in a flash, and I won't be able to do it again. I can't retain anything nowadays.
Isabella.
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3Jays, so sorry to hear of your loss. Will say a prayer for you. I know how hard it is to lose a sister. May you be comforted by her memory.
Phyllis
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Marianne, Olivia is sooooo gorgeous!!!!! Such a beautiful round chubby bubby! Ooooo I would love to give her a cuddle....I know, Marianne, will you have a cuddle for me please? I'm in bliss just looking at the pic and Yeah you for geting it posted!!!! I sure hope your health improves and you get to go on one of the trials.......got to make sure you are around for a long time for that beautiful babe!
Lisa, as usual, the rose is lovely.....you really do have a nack for getting that black backgound and making the beauty of the flower really push forward!
3jays, (((((hugs))))) to you girl. Know that we are always here for you no matter what.
Well girls I'm sitting at my table looking into my kitchen at the gap in the cupboards and imagining what the stove is going to look like. The fellow who is doing the instalation will be here shortly to do just that and then install the new rage hood to go over it...........excitememnt building here girls!!!! As long as the gas fitter turns up today....was supposed to be here two days ago...grrr.....I will have a working stove tonight......YIPEEEEE!!!!!!!!! Will keep you informed.....lol
Love n hugs to all. Chrissy
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Marianne, that is one beautiful baby! And what a lovely little dress she's in. As my mother used to say, I'd just love to get my hands on that baby!
3jays, just let the tears flow as long as you need to. I'm so glad you got to talk to Rae recently and said some things you needed to say. She knew how you loved her. And you know we love you and are here for you.
Kathy
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thank you so much for the lovely words, the roses. there will be a new rose in my garden this week for Rae. Fischer GS and i put one for his grandpa this season, and he asked me yesterday if we could plant one for Rae yesterday.. i told him of course, we will... i have one for my mum and dad, and they're the ones i bring in in the winter, saving them from the cold.....
life goes on, no matter how we feel about it, and im so glad to hear about Olivia, and im so happy about your stove, Chrissy.. the old one feel apart more quickly than i thought...lolhaha3jays
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Not sure what woke me up, maybe it was the dog. It is 5 am here. Woke up a 4 am. Have been sitting here sobbing, not sure why. Feeling super stressed and oh so tired. I have tried to keep things normal for the girls. They have physicals today, went to orthodondist last week. Both need braces. Trying to figure out how to finance it in the middle of all of this. Hannah doesn't have enought room for her teeth and they are lining up to come in with no place to go. Her teeth are huge for such a tiny mouth. She needs spacers/expanders and partial braces then later she will need full braces.
Alyssa needs braces too. She has a lot of crowding and some malformed teeth. She is mad that I want her to get the braces. If she doesn't get them, her molars are coming in sideways and they will have more problems later.
Money was already a little tight, but we were finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I got all my debt paid except for house and car. Thought I would finally be able to breathe and we were planning to go on a nice family vacation this year. Looks like I will be on sick leave about a month and that would be fine except I will only get 60% of pay and with paying for the braces, all of my cushion will be gone. Hannah keeps saying my "thing" has ruined her life
. She can't even say the "C" word! She doesn't want anyone except for her closest friend to know about it. Even though I tell her I will be alright, she still says, "but there is a chance you could die. Will you go bald?" So she is sleeping with me every night still. I don't talk about it much in front of her and I don't cry in front of them. Have many appts Monday starting with underarm ultrasound, blood tests and chest Xrays in the morning. Then a bilateral MRI. PS in the afternoon. Taking the day off. Tuesday will meet with a radiation oncologist. Test results are supposed to be back in a few days, then I need to talk to BS about final treatment plan. Whatever surgery I have will be in late June or early July. So just trying to stay in control. Things seem to happen so fast and so slow. Hate waiting! Just want to be done with all of this.
I did a family inventory of sorts. Out of 7 siblings (plus me), 5 of us have had some type of cancer. Me and big sister, breast cancer; her twin died of leukemia at age of 24; brother had prostate cancer 2 years ago and another sister had skin cancer. Enough is enough!
I got a card yesterday from a friend at church with these words:
"You are a fighter, a survivor a woman of faith and strength. You are a tough opponent for any challenge. Even the big "C" in no match for you because you belong to an even bigger "C" ... CHRIST. He is with you and many prayers are for you as you fight this battle."
Find comfort in the words, but they also are making me cry! Thanks for listening! Gotta get "up" now and go to work!
Glad I found this group.
Phyllis
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((((((Phyllis)))))) I know this part of the journey when you are unsure of what is going to happen next is very hard but you can do this. We are here no matter what the time may be. Your daughters are really concerned that they may loose you so of course they are going to be a bit clingy but as time goes on and they see that you are having treatment they will start to feel better. It's a very hard thing to try and keep things as 'normal' as possible but sometimes, like now, the word 'normal' does not apply and cannot apply as your life at the moment is anything but normal! Tears are a release of stress so please, cry away....we have all been there done that.
The verse in the card you got from your friend at Church is beautiful..............and very true.
Hope your day is a good one.
Love n hugs. Chrissy
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Phyllis
No wonder you are up early a lot on your mind. We are here no matter what time to help you through and just listen. It is hard on children no matter what age and I am sure your girls are trying to kept it together for you as well as deal with their own feelings. The waiting is the worst and we tend to think of all the horrible things in the waiting period. Christ will see you through and be that rock to lean on. My prayers are with you and your girls. One day at a a time
Liz
Ps. On the disability, check your coverage while I understand it is 60% i am not sure if that is before taxes it may be after and would be closer to your net. Just a thought. It may not be as bad as you think0 -
((((Phyllis))))
I'm sitting here reading your post and wish I could be there to give you a real hug. I remember when my girls had braces and we were able to make payments monthly. My oldest is adopted from Korea and her mouth was too small for her teeth. It was expensive but took a couple of years so we didn't have to pay all at once.
I'm sorry you're going through this right now. Please know that you are in my prayers as are all my on-line friends. It gives such sollace knowig everyone is here for me. I hope you know we are all here for you.
Marianne
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3Jays--------------so sorry for your loss. sheila
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Hi All:I read 3Jays' Post in a different chat room and thought I would try posting here. I'm new to this and am completely in a fog.I was dx'd w/MS in Oct. 2000 w/RR. Within 5 years, I was in a wheelchair and had chemo for the MS. I am almost a quadriplegic. I am 44 and still work at home, over the internet, with a voice recognition program. I now have rapidly worsening secondary progressive MS. On Mar. 1, 2011, I was dx'd w/breast cancer. I am having a mastectomy at Dana Farber on 6.8.11. I'm totally overwhelmed and Dana Farber told me they have never treated anyone with severe MS like me!Any input or insight from anyone would be great!DianaP.S.: It looks like some (or all) of you already have your plates full. If I am stepping on toes, just let me know. I do not want to cause anguish or anxiety for anyone.
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Oh, Phyllis, I am so sorry you are having such a bad time of it. I do not have children so have never had to deal with that aspect of cancer, but think what I would do is sit Hannah down and talk to her and say, Look, this is not something I asked to happen, but it did and I am trying to deal with it. If you think it ruined your life, what do you think it is doing to me? Tell her yes, there is a chance you will die, but you are going to do everything you can to prevent that and that there is a chance each and everyone of us to going to die, because it's a fact, we are all going to one day. We could get hit by a car tomorrow or with the way the weather has been lately get washed away in a flood or blown away in a tornado. God doesn't tell us what is going to happen, but I honestly feel he does not give us more than we can deal with....we might think so at the time, but I really feel I am a much much stronger and better person than I was before cancer. I am not a pollyanna by any means and I hate this disease, but for me it is just a part of my life. Waiting is the worst part and once they get a plan and schedule set up for you, the time will go faster than you ever thought it would.
Re the braces....there is a credit card a lot of dental offices offer called CareCredit.....you can use it as a payment plan, depending on the amount it can be stretched out to 6, 12 months, same as cash. Ask around and find out if there is an orthodontist in your area who takes this.
3jays.....that was so sweet of Fischer to ask about the rosebush. I know you will miss your sister a lot, but take comfort in the fact you got to talk with her and were both ready for this (sort of....are we ever really?). Hope they put you on the antibi that will work soon!
I am sitting here with what looks like a fish hook and tube coming out of my chest. After waiting almost two hours for them to start my treatment yesterday I told them, Look, I have to be at work at 1:30, it is now after 1 and there is no way, you are going to get me done it time, let me come back tomorrow. I had offered to come back tomorrow when I saw how backed up they were in the treatment room, but nooo, they said they would get me in and out. The halaven only takes about 5 mins, but they always have to do the saline, then the premeds and I knew there was no way they were going to get me out of there in time.....plus there was a lot of discussion about my low white count and if they should even do the chemo. It was ridiculous ......people who were already in chairs before I went back just sitting there waiting to be accessed. I swear it is all due to the new system they went to where they have to get approval from the business office saying the patient is paid up before they will even mix your drugs. It is all about $$$$s and it is a crime the way they are treating people who already have enough crap to deal with!! The nurse told me I could leave, but they were putting on my record that I refused treatment! I asked Am I going to get in trouble for this? and she said no they they would also put it was because I had to wait two hours. So I checked at work and I am getting three hours for lunch today and hopefully since I am all accessed, they can get me in and out. Then this means I will be getting the dreaded neulasta on Friday instead of today, but that is fine, I have my claritin and am prepared this time. If my life didn't depend on it, I would just stomp out of there and say TaTa ,Byebye, So Long, Farwell. I realize I am not the only patient, and I know those nurses are overworked, but they need to start thinking about how we are already dealing with something we have no control over, are doing something we really don't want to be doing and then they just put us in a chair and we sit and wait and wait. The only good thing about all of this is the patients have become friends so it is an opportunity for us to sit and visit, but yesterday we were pretty much just all bitching and rolling our eyes when they would ask Now what are we seeing you for today?, Did you see a doctor or are you just here for treatment? .....Who's on lst?, No, he's on 2nd. Jeeeze.
Well, thank you for allowing me to rant.....maybe I will be a more compliant patient today. I am wearing the bandanna to work now because hair is going everywhere and my hair gal can't get me in til next week.....a woman at the onco's asked me Why I had not had it cut and I said well, it was short anyway, but I was keeping this little hope that maybe it would just thin the way a lot of ladies on the halaven thread told me and that I might not lose it all.....no longer think that is going to be the case!! Hope you all have a good day. And Chrissy, we expect you to make us something really good with that new top of the line appliance of yours!!! Marybe
Edited to add.....Deprest.....just saw your post.....you talk to 3jays....she is a real trooper and deals with everything very well.....she does a lot of research and I am sure can give you some good advice. You are by no means stepping on any toes here.
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Dear Marybe;
Thank you for the welcome.
i suppose I am a little frightened and feeling alone as my mother and sisters are not taking my news well.
Diana
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Diana,
As Marybe said you are not stepping on anyone's toes. We are all in this battle together and support each other.
It's hard not to feel frightened until you have all the facts and can plan your treatment. I'm sorry that you are feeling alone due to your mother and sisters. I hope they will come around and support you and help you. The best part about this forum is the support.
((((HUGS))))
Marianne
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Marybe, I also find that the medical field assumes we are all there to spend all day, whatever it takes because we don't work for a living!! Sometimes being sick IS the job. I have been very vocal since diagnosis (I guess it gave me more guts) to stress that I have to return to work, I'm not here for the whole day and can we just get this wrapped up! I was here on time out of respect to you, now please show respect to me and keep me on schedule. Sheesh!!! A HUGE pet peeve of mine!!!!!
Diana, there are no toes in this virtual world to step on. It's all safe. Vent away! Many of us have other disabilitites that we were dealing with before bc came along. It's tough. We know.
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Dear Marianne:
I'm glad I found this sight.
I was dealing with the MS until the cancer dx. I am questioning if I'm doing the right thing, having surgery, but I guess I have no choice.
In the meantime, my mother just told me that I was born on the day her mother died - different year but same day - she died at 42 of breast cancer! I did not find that story too comforting! They are all acting up! LOL
Diana
PS: Thank u so much, Barbe
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Marybe
So sorry you had to go through the red tape wait yesterday. I hope it goes better for you today. I agree with Barbe i don't understand why they don't respect our time. Would it have been so bad to call patients ahead of time and say they are backed up and try to reschedule or come in later. I understand that getting the scheduling to the minute is not going to happen for we are dealing with people and disease and sometimes the un predictable is going to happen. I just don't get why they can't call. For pete's sake my hairdresser calls me if she is running late so that I don't have to just wait why can't the medical professions do the same. Drives me crazy. Sorry also about the hair I was so hoping that it would thin for you this time
Diana I am sorry to have to welcome you to this club but please rant and ask anything you need. This group of ladies is wonderful and will comfort offer advice and just listen if need be. I think this diagnosis is really hard on our mothers (the guilt thing again do we ever stop feeling guilt over what we can or cannot due for/to our children). I know my mom took my dx very hard and my bmx decision made her crazy(she is doing fine now and totally on board with me). I am sure it is very difficult for your mom given what she went through with her mother especially given your same birthdays. I pray everyday for the ladies in this group. I will add you to my prayers. I always pray for strength to deal for while it may not feel like our prayers are answered I do believe He always gives us the strength we need to cope if we ask. I can't comment on your BC dx with MS jointly but I am sure that others maybe able to offer some advice. Best wishes
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Dear Liz: Thank you so much, you ALLhave given me comfort already!
I must go to work now but will be back to "the feel good room" this aft.
Thank u again.
Diana
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Phyllis, hugs, gal pal. Diana, welcome to our thread. 3jays has lots of info so reach out to her and she can help. Marybe, rant away! You are allowed to be pi$$ed.
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Phyllis ~ I hope your stress/sadness has eased some since being welcomed into this group. We are here for you 24/7. Please keep us posted on all your upcoming tests. In fact, if you have room in one of your pockets, I'm sure there are some of us who would like to hop in & go with you. Me, for one!
Diana ~ Welcome, Hon. Yes, 3jays is the one to talk to. We love her so much, she is always here for us & will be able to answer your questions & help, I'm sure.
Marybe ~ You know I love ya, gal! I'm so sorry you had such a bad day waiting for tx. I think those tx centers just think we have nothing else better to do. They are damn wrong! Sorry for cursing, feels good sometimes!! Hope today went better.
My best to everyone!
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Hello Ladies:
I just wanted to thank you all for being so nice and making me feel welcome.
When I first got sick with MS, a friend told me, "the worst part of getting sick is dealing with the people around you!" This has been very true for me and finding you all has been a blessing and is just what the doctor ordered!
You are all interested in everyone else's problems and put your selves on the back burner, like me. It seems that many people around me are focused on themselves first so it is difficult to find support from them.
Just speaking with you all and reading your different posts has made me feel better.
I am going to Dana-Farber on Monday for their physical therapy and am having a mastectomy on Wednesday. I'm pretty petrified at this point.
I am happy to say, though, I am still in love with my husband after 26 years of marriage and I suppose I'm getting strength from him at this point. We have one daughter together. She is 21. She and her boyfriend rented upstairs from us. She is our tenant. But she is our daughter first and has been very helpful through all of this, while working full time and going to college full time nights.
I am looking at all of your diagnoses and feeling a bit uneducated. You all definitely know much more about this than I do. I focused everything on MS, never thinking that I would be diagnosed with breast cancer! And, of course, it couldn't be simple. It has to be some invasive kind!
Well, I always had to do it in a big way!
Thank you all for being so nice.
Best, Diana
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Marybe, Phyllis, Diana and anyone in need of a hug this morning they are coming your way.
I sometimes get annoyed with the waiting in our system but am so thankful it doesn't involve money. If you go private here there can be delays as the insurance companies give approval but once that happens things happen quickly. In the public system which most people use I haven't had great delays for tests etc but have had to wait, very occassionally, an hour or so for treatment.Luckily the our hospital has changed its appointment system and now books actual times. DH took his mother to an appointment at another hospital and took all morning because of the block booking system. He wasn't at all pleased about waiting so long as he was supposed to be at work.
Barnie cat wishes to sit on my knee, however I must get moving as we have my brother and SiL staying and we are heading out to one of the big malls. They come from a small town which doesn't have such monsters
Have decided to stop being a pukeko, my avatar. Its a swamp hen and a real character. It is used in a lot of art and crafts items but I think its time to be me again.
Big hugs
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Phyllis, I don't blame you for being scared. Having a mastectomy isnt for the faint-hearted.
Aly, enjoy your family visit!0 -
Hi Phyllis and Diana...two big welcomes from me. It'll be nice getting to know you both. Just jump right in and rant if you want!! Relatives either don't believe the seriousness of things or think you 'have gone on now long enough' and change the subject ! We all understand what it means, and really value one anothers friendship, and we LISTEN....we may sometimes seem to talk about everything under the sun but bc, but, in a heartbeat, we can offer what we know on many bc related things.
I have been to another appointment with my psychotherapist today....waste of my time I am beginning to think, but don't know how to tell her ! She is trying to help me with my needle phobia, but I can't see she is helping at all. I have been 5 times now. Today she showed me some videos of people having injections... repeatedly !! I got angry with her because it had no effect at all. She says IF I sit long enough and watch this...like 2-3 hours ! My anxiety will go down...well, it doesn't. She wants to cart me off to hospital next week to the blood test room, sit me in there, and if I sit long enough I will no doubt think 'isn't this hunky dory' and my fear will evaporate. ppfftt. I have had 3 'no shows' at the dentist lately. Thanks to Arimidex I need 7 teeth out, and I keep having to pay for the dentists time ! I am thinking industrial strength vallium might help ! Never taken it before, so not sure of any dosage that'd make me do a quick waltz into the dentists chair without a care in the world ! Anyone taken this for help with dental treatment, and remember what strength ?
While I was out this afternoon DH decided to call up to wash his car...easier to make a mess in my backyard than his ! He got out the pressure washer, decided my hanging baskets and troughs needed water, they most certainly did not, and turned the pressure washer on them. OMG, a great deal of the plants were either blown out of the baskets or beheaded. He'd blown soil all onto my newly whitened walls, and all over the windows. Looked like a war had broken out.I just pulled into my yard as he was standing surveying his devastation. I cannot tell you what I screeched at him, but it certainly wasn't ladylike. If I was going to have had a heart attack then this was certainly the moment !!! I am still muttering to myself about it now 7 hours later. I just cannot understand WHY he didn't stop after demolishing the first one...he said he thought he could 'press them all back in again' I'll press him back in again !!! I told him he can get to the garden centre and BUY me some more baskets...he has no idea the cost of a full hanging basket at this time of year, so will be in for a shock ! He has done 3 in , plus a big old horse trough that was teeming with plants...can't buy that again, and I don't feel like setting to and replanting again. He had the cheek to go away shouting at me to calm down, and not get into such a tizzy over a few plants !!!!!
So, after my brush with a silly woman making me watch needles going into arms, then walk straight into my nice quiet back yard, to see holocaust, has got me on the white wine tonight. I shall laugh my sox off about this in a few days, but at the moment I am pi**ed at everything ! I shall laugh because DH will have to get his hand into his pocket, and very deep in, because of yet another fine mess he's got himself into.
Isabella.
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Isabella - sounds like your DH has reminded you once again what an excellent decision you made to send him packing. In case you were ever wondering.
There are some dentists here who will use gas instead of needles for those who don't like needles. Is that an option for you?0 -
Diana, sorry you have to be here but welcome. Feel free to say whatever you need to say (I even say some unprintable things from time to time...) Marybe, I have been through that same thing and resent that they are all so disrespectful of my time. They certainly guard THEIR time very well. Saw the PS today and he spent his usual 3 minutes with me. Phyllis, so sorry you're going through this with kids at the braces stage. The cancer costs enough as it is. You are definitely in my thoughts. I've had to spend a lot of my retirement "fun" money on medical stuff as DH and I both got cancer before we were eligible for M-Care. I think what your daughter is expressing is that she is just scared to death of losing you. Sometimes people don't express that very well, esp. kids I guess.
There probably isn't anything anyone can say that all of us haven't said or heard. We should be able to rant, at least here! I spent a lot of time feeling guilty for "feeling sorry for myself," but isn't that just what we should do with a cancer diagnosis? Yes, I feel sorry for me and for anyone else who has to go through any of this. This is a good time for all of us to be easy on ourselves. I'm usually the one holding everybody else up so it's a real challenge to let go and let other people help out and take care of me.
Tomorrow I scheduled a "quiet day." Not sure what that means yet but I know I want to stay home and bake some healthy bread, make some chili, and eat all that for dinner. Simple things can be healing!
And finally we're supposed to get some sun in Portland! I'll believe it when it happens.
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Hi Diana and welcome, I'm so glad that 3jays invited you to join us. At the beginning of this journey it is terrifying as all we hear is the ‘C' word and our minds go numb and it's hard to take in what is being said to us. You have said that you will be having a mastectomy in a weeks time do you know what the follow up treatment will be? Have you docs spoken about chemo or rads and with your ER/PR receptors being positive, an Aromatase Inhibitor such as Arimidex or Femara to follow? Just know that we are here for you in all ways possible. Join us often for knowledge, a chat, a hug and even a laugh you no longer need to feel alone as you have just found a huge family that is very happy to support you.
Oh Marybe, sorry the hair has really decided to fall and that they took so long at treatment....you'd think that they would have a better system to deal with so many without the delays but I guess it all comes down to beurocracy.
Marianne any news on the appointment re a trial? Hoping it all works out well for you!
Isabella will that man ever learn? Oh boy I would have been spitting fire if my DH did that to my plants! At least you'll get the last laugh when he goes to get you the new ones....lol
Progress report: The stove in IN!!! and the range hood and get this, the plumber is here as I type connecting the gas....YAHOOOO!!!! Tonight I use it for the first time....oh man this has been three years in the making and it's so good that my dream has finally come to fruition. The next stage in this is painting the walls and shelves but later today, when all things are in their place I'll take a pic and post it for all to see.
Love n hugs to all. Chrissy
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we need a picture Chrissy
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