For Older People with Sense
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Been trying to catch up a little here, but lately I haven't had a lot of time. DGS was a pistol last week, I suppose from having everyone at his beck and call while we were at the beach, and he didn't get tolerable until Thursday. DH and I were "off" for the weekend, and wonder of wonders, went to a movie Saturday; saw "The Help" and I do recommend it. Extremely funny in places but poignant as well. It's hard for me to believe that this type of thing existed in my lifetime.
Welcome to you LynMichael. None of us wants to be here, but given the circumstances, this is a wonderful place to be.
Isabella, your former DH has to be as dumb as a box of rocks to leave that kind of money on the front seat of his car! I do hope the mange situation will be cleared up soon and maybe you can relax a bit. You deserve to.
Kathy
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Welcome LynnMichael - jump right on in and join the fray. Sorry you have to be here but gald you found us. Nothing is off limits to ask or say so whatever is on you mind feel free to ask of say it here. This is a great group of ladies that have an enormous amount of support, encouragement and advide to share.
L_C - all that canning and picking sounds like a lot of work to me so I say it definitely counts as exercise.
Isabella - Your ex never ceases to amaze me at how dumb and clueless he is. I would have drown him in the dogs bath water. Glad you sent him on his way. I agree with Kathy, he is a dumb as a box of rocks.
Kathy - Glad you got to spend some time with you DGS and family. I know you must have had a good time with you DH at the movies. I hope my DH will take me to see "The Help" soon.
No word from my DD on Micah today so I will let you all know how he is doing as soon as I know anything. Hugs and love to all.
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When we bought out 1st house around 1970. DH wanted me to pick up the cash for the closing - he said he couldn't write a check that large. Cash made the deal smoother & quicker - it was legit, through his veteran status. I went to the bank & got all that cash at the drive in window - didn't want to flash it around inside the bank. I put it under the passenger seat cover & sweated all the way to the mortgage office where I met DH - even then, he made me carry the cash.... We went through the same thing with the next house we bought about 5 years later! The house we bought in 1978, I was the only one who saw it - he didn't have time to go through it - so I spent quite a bit of extremely worried time after closing & him seeing it the 1st time!!!! Fortunately it was a good one & we were in it for 20 years. Since I'm working part-time now & he's retired, he takes care of all the bills. It would be nice to think this is the last house we will buy - we're just hoping it lasts as long as we do since it's an older manufactured house & the roof leaks!
Martha
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LynMichele,
Welcome, and like the others, I add my condolences for your reason for being here. This is a great place to just hang out with like-minded, like-aged women who are all dealing with the same issue.
RE: discussion of DH's -- okay, ladies, I must brag. My darling husband is wonderful when it comes to household chores! He does them all, including cleaning out the catbox! He came pre-trained!!! He mows, does laundry, dishes, cooking, vacuums. The only thing I ever have to ask him to do is scrub toilets. What IS it with men and toilets???
On Friday I head in for #5 of 6 infusions! Thank GOD this part is almost over! Yeesh!
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My DH is great too. Does all the cooking and all the laundry. Will do housework if I ask, but never as good as I can do it. Will only do 'his' toilet when we move.
He NEVER cleans the sink out though after dishes. Does anyone else's?
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Barbe my DH sounds a bit like yours. Just doesn't clean out sink or wipe down bench and he doesn't do toilets either but shouldn't complain as he will do most other things, does a wonderful job vacuuming and ironing. However my DH is the most hopeless cook which does worry me.
Another cold but crisp day here, it's still snowing in the south even the capital had more snow last night.
Shower 1 is about to go in so we have progress.
Big hugs
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Alyson, did you get higher toilets????
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Thank you everyone for the warm welcome. This is really a great place. I found a lot of useful information and it is all very easy to find. I found lots of questions to ask my breast surgeon from this site.
My husband and 25 year old daughter are both very supportive. But like Isabella said in an earlier post they tire of me sometimes because they don't know what it is really like. Only you ladies here understand.
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Barbe we decided to get ordinary but are getting rails put in to help with the getting up. I am trying to get the photo over from facebook. Sam just wants to give me kisses so I will take all I can as it won't be long before he won't want to kiss his Gran
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Lyn welcome to the club nobody actually wants to join. Ask all the questions you can, it does help.
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Alyson, what a sweet, beautiful picture. Little "butterfly kisses" ~ there is nothing like them.
Welcome LynMichel. Happy you found us. We are here for you.
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welcome from me, too, LynMichel...good to see all you lafies..sams' a cutie. alyson. you're so lucky!!! 3jays
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Welcome, LynMichel! This is a fine group of folks here.
Morning all.
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AmyJo, No news is good news so Micah must be doing OK....I know nothing about babies, but seem to recall they go through a period where they drop down in weight after birth and then go up. Alyson, steal those kisses while you can.....seems like when they get to be teens, especially the boys, they wipe them off.
Lots of new names on here....welcome to all of you.
3jays.....so good to talk to you and to hear hope in your voice. I certainly hope this doctor is on the right track and it sounds as if he is.
Glad you are back Isabella.
My favorite PA, the one I could actually talk to, had her last day yesterday. If this treatment doesn't work, I am going to either see where she went and follow her or look for a new oncologist on my own. Today is day 14 of the Xeloda and then I get a week off.....so far no real SEs and even if it is not a proven fact, to me that means it isn't working.....so we shall see.
Have a good day everyone.
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Marybe, you're in my prayers. Hoping this treatment works. Sorry about losing your PA. It can mean so much to have someone like that in your treatment team.
XOXO, Lynda
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Marybe, hope you're wrong and this treatment IS working. Thinking about you. HOW do you manage to get any gardening done..I seem to have come to a standstill this year, then you go post those lovely pics of your flowers. I manage about 10 mins a week...which is nothing at all with the size of my garden.
I had a brainwave last week. I can't manage to keep up with the garden too well, so I'm going to get a big chunk of it put back into a grass field ( after all I took a chunk of field about 15 years ago to extend the garden, now it's going back !! ) Just means paying out to have fences shifted again ! Mentioning falling, over on Barbes thread, reminded me I sort of fell last week, in the garden. Was trying to reach forward from a path, and pull out some overgrown plants. Well, it's so overgrown this year that I didn't see a rambling rose had rambled among the plants. Grabbed hold of a big handful of flower stalks and ran my hand right up along the rose branch as I was pulling up the rubbish. Didn't half squeak !! Blood all over, still got bruises and scars all over my hand, and I ended up breaking my fall on a rose arch. Of course, it had to be the 'bad' side didn't it ?? I just cannot get used to wearing gardening gloves.
Feeling a bit hemmed in as haven't been able to get far this last few days, so took myself off to the DIY store ( I love this place ) Came back with a new loo seat, and a set of screwdrivers ( goodness knows why, I must have a million screwdrivers all over the place, but am a sucker for a nice shiney new set !!) At least I don't have DH borrowing my tools now. His party piece was to take them without asking, leave them outside to go rusty, then deny all knowledge . Used to make my blood boil, really feel as if it were boiling in my veins. Quite regularly I would trip over a small pile of MY tools, in the long grass, just left wherever they'd been needed, all rusty and blunt. One day a couple of years ago I lost my cool with him. He was denying ever having left 2 pairs of pliers and some screwdrivers near a door he'd been trying to fix, some months earlier. There was the evidence right in front of him, all rusty, but all he would do was say 'it wasn't me, it wasn't me' I remember saying who the £$%^& was it then, the dogs?? and then I just picked up the tools, threw them, one after the other, bang bang bang bang bang through a stable windowpane, sounded just like a gun firing !! It's really a wonder I didn't have a stroke with him !!!!! I kept my tool boxes and tool chest locked so he couldn't get to the tools....but somehow he used to whip my keys without me seeing whenever he could. Now I have just about everything where it should be....no locks needed, so much easier. Also picked up 2 clematis plants..... I have a wall looking a bit bare, so tomorrows job ! I have small G/daughter coming tomorrow for the day, so she can 'help' me.
Isabella.
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Thank you for the prayers Lynda. I love reading your posts Isabella. I am sure my garden is maybe 1/10th the size of yours. I am very bummed out at the thought of losing this big tree in the back since if I do, there goes the shade for the shade garden....well, not all of it, but this tree is the one that blocks the sun from the ferns. I love you DH stories as I can so relate to him making your blood boil......I feel like I am seething most of the time. I was fuming again late this morning when I had about 15 mins before I had to change to go to work and I was out watering because he was off somewhere, probably buying a ukulele, and had assured me he would do the watering in the morning. How can he not notice when the plants are flopped over and the leaves are shriveled up? He argued with me for a month that the tree was fine and I was stupid for watering it (a few years too late I am afraid) but now that the leaves are brown and falling off he says I think you might be right about that tree. The same way he can't smell it if the dog pees in the LR and can't see the silverware in the caddy from the dishwasher that have been sitting on the counter for three days waiting for him to put them away.....I do all the rest so don't think expecting him to do that is asking too much. Wow, here I go on a tirade.....think I will go to bed instead...it's been a long day...didn't start work til 1:30 since this was our late day, but that meant working til almost 8. Tomorrow I will start my week off the Xeloda and I don't seem to have messed up feet or hands yet so am thankful for that. Yesterday I had a patient and was doing his medical history and he said he was on vancomycin for MRSA just real matter of fact....I said excuse me, you have MRSA? and he said yes, and I asked, Am I going to catch it? I am doing chemo and am not supposed to be exposed to things like that you know. I went and told my boss and he just acted like it was no big deal.....maybe not to him, but it is to me. People!!
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isabella: i can so relate to downsizing the garden.. its' what im doing , seems everywhere in my life right now.. i think some of it would've happened from aging, anyway; but all the tx. and se's hurried it along. im quite satisfied with the little bit of patio gardening i can do at my condo.. its usually manageable, but with the painting here, i dismantled it, and put it up 2xs this summer. we installed a shade house, which works great for the fla sun, and in the winter; i cover everything in sheets. its easy to do now , with the little gazebo we built. i so love my little garden. some days its' all that gets me going, and out of the house..
i can relate to the "not so DH" stuff. Mur is a doll; but i've realized, he just doesn't see what "comes nextz" thats part of putting away whatever it is you've takne out. and, it applies to everything lol
with both our memories going south; we've been having discussions about if we don't put it right back; we'll never find it, between the two of us... i hope that tact works.. i feel frustrated, like marybe, and isabella.. somethings just aren't arguing over, though, if he tries other ways...hahaha
i so hope you're wrong, Marybe.. i didn't have hand foot from taxotere till 6 mos later.. and ive been ned for almost 3 yrs now. it WAS working, and i pray yours is, too.......3jays
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I can't remember who it was who first said "How can a man say he does half of the housework when he only ever sees a quarter of it".
I find it much less frustrating to be single - I do pretty much the very same amount of work around the house. The difference is that now I am not waiting or hoping for someone else to help.
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Marybe, why are you losing a 'big' tree!!??? It should be rooted enough by now....??
Lassie, so true!! I have lived by myself for 8 years as an adult before marriages. It IS easier being alone in SO many ways!!! I would miss my DH if I ever lost him, but I have NO intentions of even trying to replace him. NONE!! Well.....unless the guy stayed at his place afterwards! I have a girlfriend doing just that. They both have their own places and plan on keeping it that way. His dirty underwear can be on the floor at HIS place. My DH is good about underwear. My first one wasn't. When we got married I refused to pick up laundry off the floor. If it wasn't in the basket, it didn't get washed. Just stunned him! I remember him saying he had no clean underwear and I said that I had washed everything that was in the basket so I didn't understand....hehehehehehehhe.
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Barbe, when my parents got married my father expected my mother to IRON his underwear (boxers). After all, his mother did. He was in college so she was working. Well, my mother was a real smart lady. She would do the laundry and put stuff in the ironing basket so when my father said he had no clean underwear my mother would say, "Well, it's clean, I just haven't had time to iron it". Lo and behold, my father learned that if he wore unironed boxers his bellybutton didn't fall off.
Boob Thursdays were delayed a week since the PS clinic postponed my appt. Actually I realized that was a good thing since I could see the other docs and then see the PS. So today was the first one and I saw the BS (the one who did my mast 2 1/2 years ago). What a difference in attitude! He was so sympathetic and understanding! We spoke about my fears and he said that no one can tell someone else what to feel, that my emotions were legitimate. He didn't think the situation was as problematic as I do as far as another primary since he feels that with MRIs etc we could catch anything early, but he understood the QOL issues I face with that. I don't want to find something early - I don't want to find ANYTHING. He doesn't think the DIEP is a good idea for me but he's not a big fan of that type of recon. He feels it's too big a surgery for a recon so his recommendation if I go ahead with surgery would be implants. The PS would also like me to consider that so I've been thinking seriously about it. This isn't a situation of a PS recommending the procedure he does since this PS is the top DIEP guy in the country so I take his recommendation seriously. So I'm looking at implant recon more seriously now because, quite frankly, I want the remaining boob gone but I just could not deal with having nothing.
Next week, onc visit.
Leah
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If he's the DIEP guy, why didn't he think it was right for you??? If he does implants, will he do TEs first? I had a PS say he could whip implants in on my lunch hour?!?!?!
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Barbe, he only said he didn't think the DIEP was right for me after the mets dx - he's worried that it's too big a surgery.
As far as I know he does TEs first - haven't discussed it in detail yet. My biggest concern is capsular contracture so I want to ask him how much of a problem it would likely be for me since I'm 2 years post-rads.
Something tells me it won't happen in my lunch hour....
Leah
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I also think DIEP is too much of a surgery. Maybe if I was 20 years younger. I HATE the thought of TEs and fills. LOVE the thought of fat grafting though. Waiting for some new magic fix.
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Marybe, I'm worrying about you getting MRSA. Please be careful. If a patient has the usual type of MRSA it's probably a sore someplace and it's easy to avoid. Just be extra careful. For you it would be a problem if he had it in his mouth of on his face. If a patient, such as hospital patient, has something like MRSA pneumonia then it can be airborn. In that case you shouldn't be anywhere near him. That is almost never a problem outside the hospital but just be careful. Such a patient in the hospital would be on airborn precautions--a big deal as far as isolation goes. I'm sure you do good hand washing but just remember, you come first. If there's a situation that you aren't comfortable with be sure and stand your ground. I've been arguing with doctors over stuff like this for years!!!
Sorry to be preachy but this brings out the Mom in me!
Going to see the BS today for my year's checkup. This whole anniversary is happy and sad at the same time. This doctor is really nice so I can complain to her about my back pain. Poor lady--listening to me complain isn't easy. Just ask my DH!
XOXO to all!
Lynda
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Hi again everyone. I am trying to figure out what your shorthand is. I am pretty sure DH means Dear Husband. BS is the breast surgeon. But I don't know what DIEP, PA, SE and TE stands for.
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SE is side effect, TE is tissue expander, PA is physicians assistant (?) and DIEP is a form of breast reconstruction where they take fat from your belly and reconnect it to your breast.
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LynMichel,
The D in "DH" does not always mean dear.
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pj....I'll second, third and even forth that, on the D in DH !!!!
How are you...we don't see you around much these days ?
Isabella.
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Abbreviations: In the "waiting for test results" portion, there's a thread called "Abbreviations for Newbies" - I think it's active right now. The thread-starter has most of the abbreviations that folks toss around...
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Hi Isabella,
I am always lurking, just don't have much to add. But I love reading about everyone and their peccadilloes.. You all cheer me up and inspire me.
Pj0
