INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
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Thanks, it is really bad tonight so weird that it's waited so long to really hit me. I wonder if I was just kind of in shock for days and it's wearing off or something
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Oops just saw that you live alone. I had my family when I was diagnosed, but the loneliness was still there until I discovered BCO. Hang in there. Hugs to you.
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Thanks hugs back!!
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I think you are still processing the news. It's ok to cry. I was really upbeat after my mastectomy until a few days later when I tried to put on a shirt and couldn't. I started to cry, kind of like a mourning cry for my forever changed body. I am glad my girls were in school at the time. I didn't want them , especially my younger daughter, to worry about me. I had to stay strong for them. How old are your children? I have an eighteen and a thirteen year old daughter.
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My kids are grown, my son is 36 and my daughter is 40. They are both just blown away by all of this already. I'm trying really hard not to let them know how scared I am. They both are married with four kids each so they have big responsibilities of their own
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Lori, I didn't see your post until now. You have the steroid high? Hope you get some shut eyes.
Oh Jan, I have great respect for teachers, especially ESL teachers. Thank you for your kind words. I'm just an ordinary person with a story to share. I just praise God for carrying me through my troubles. Everyone has trials and challenges. Some more than others. No one is immuned from life troubles. My mom and dad had it worse than me losing both their parents at a young age. War is tragic. It robs families of their love ones. Where did you teach? A lot of people in my parents' generation suffer from depression. It was easier for us younger people to adjust to life here. I would love to know more about you.
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Gracie, sorry to hear. We really hope nobody ever joins the stage IV club. Crying, yeah, we all do it. Mine looks more like sobbing, heart being pulled out, and can't catch my breath. Then begins the rollercoaster. I am 16 years, last 6, stage IV. I am one of the lucky ones. On chemo for life, but have been Very functional.
Look for groups, but please don't stop looking after you hate the first one or two. I actually just found a great group, after lots of trying different ones. Just met up with them for the first time yesterday. So there are great support groups and some are actually fun.
And of course this is a great group. I personally stay on this thread even though I am stage IV, cause I love these ladies, and I need upbeat. And they are a fountain of information.
I pray your anxiety eases up and you find support on this jou
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Thanks Susan! I appreciate your sharing with me part of your experience too. I Think it would be easier if I just had someone to talk to !! But living alone I'm by myself about 90% of the time . So it just all kind of piles up
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wrench, hope and pray chemo is gentle on you. Hugs
Lookie, not sure if permanent. We will see how this hallmark saga movie i wish I wasn't in plays out. Phone conversation with brother today was appalling. He just keeps raising the bar on how much of a jerk he can be. Buuuuutttttt, I am back in counseling, so look out big brother, I am feeling very impowered now..lol
Over the next couple of weeks, he will be impossible. This would be considered crisis time, crunch time. Decisions need to be made quickly. I'm not sure if he is capable of a decision. Mom, can't do anything with her broken arm now. So he is very very angry guy right now. Found out he put a board in the backyard so the dog couldn't get to the gate. Mom tripped over it. He used words like stupid and ignorant about mom. How couldn't she step over it. I have to keep my mouth shut, otherwise it will be the silent treatment again. You know that wheel of abuse. Soooooooo, anyone want to adopt my brother????
But I really am in a good place right now. Counseling is a beautiful thing. And I am surrounded by such great "other " family' and friends. So it's all good.
Nighty night
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see....life is beaut0 -
Yes it is, Susan. We try to keep our focus on the positives to move forward. She is precious. Look at that forehead! Looks like you might have another doc in the future. Good news about the pup. Please post pic when you get a chance.
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will do. It's so much fun happening with Elena now. Love how they respond to stuff, and study your face. So wonderful they are closer. See them twice a week. Had fun buying baby clothes with them yesterday. I think we could have bought the store. But happy to say we refrained:).
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Oh Dear Me!
Tonight has been quite the night. Earlier I decided to do some gardening/weeding. All was going along fine until I was finishing up. I had a spasm in my right thigh and my new hip dislocated, and I fell face first onto the sidewalk. Excruciating pain.
Taken to hospital and they knocked me out and put the hip back into place. Put a brace on it and discharged me home.
Took taxi home, and as I tried to get out of the taxi, my hip dislocated again.
Back in Emergency waiting for more x-rays and they're calling my Ortho surgeon. It is now 3:00 a.m.
Haven't eaten since 11:00 a.m. Friday. So hungry.
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Oh Dear Me!
Tonight has been quite the night. Earlier I decided to do some gardening/weeding. All was going along fine until I was finishing up. I had a spasm in my right thigh and my new hip dislocated, and I fell face first onto the sidewalk. Excruciating pain.
Taken to hospital and they knocked me out and put the hip back into place. Put a brace on it and discharged me home.
Took taxi home, and as I tried to get out of the taxi, my hip dislocated again.
Back in Emergency waiting for more x-rays and they're calling my Ortho surgeon. It is now 3:00 a.m.
Haven't eaten since 11:00 a.m. Friday. So hungry.
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jazzy, oh my goodness . So sorry, I actually thought it was impossible to do that with any replacement. Wish I was right. Then you would be fine. Hope you get pain under control. Prayers your way.
I now won't say anything about falling off my bike yesterday.
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Gracie- I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis of the bone mets. I live alone and no family nearby, and dealt with my initial diagnosis on my own. So I understand coming from a place of being alone and coping with not great news. That is why this site is so great, because it is a place to talk to others about what is happening and as you go through your apts about the next steps.
I also understand not wanting to burden others, and am sure your children will be scared for you too. We sometimes worry about other people's feelings around this when we need to put ourselves first. Cancer has taught me that. Were there any friends who were there for you last time that you can share with and who may be able to give you a ride, etc? Friends that are proven to help during tough times?
I am not sure where you live, but many cities have groups that can offer resources to help cancer patients. They may have counseling available, people who can give you rides, etc. Ask your cancer center or oncology office if they know of such programs in you area. There is also an organization called Cleaning for a Reason that helps women with house cleaning whom are undergoing cancer treatment. Here is the web site in case this may be in your area too:
http://www.cleaningforareason.org/
I agree with others here who have suggested you search around for additional threads specific to bone mets. When I was going through initial treatment, I was on surgery threads, rad threads, AI threads, etc. There may also be a thread for women who are widowed and how they are getting through too. So many great resources here.
We are glad you are here and sharing your news so we can offer some ideas as you adjust to this news and prepare for your treatment plan. Let us know how else we can help?
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Jazzy, I live about an hour from the town where my onc is. Last time my husband was alive and he took me to all of my appointments. I have friends who will help I think. But I also live in a very small town and there isn't anything here for help. There aren't any support groups other than Church. And most of my girlfriends are on the stay very positive bandwagon and really don't like to hear anything negative. But I have all of this fear and anxiety and sometimes just have to talk to somebody about it. I'm so grateful that there were women here last night to talk to but also feel that I was kind of imposing because no one wants to talk about negative things. I get that. Thank you for your support. I did finally get to sleep. I hate that I got so down last night but it is what it is I guess. Thanks again, and if it happens again late at night and I can't sleep (insomnia which is why I came to this thread) I'll try to find somebody on the other threads. Thank you to all three of you ladies who offered support, I really appreciated your time and just having someone to talk to helped a lot. Blessings
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JunieB! Are you home now or at the hospital? You didn't hit your head did you? Your poor face.... that must have hurt. I hope the cement didn't tear up your skin or chip any bones or teeth. Gah! I scolded you about walking to tbe bus and the danged cab ride took you out instead of home 😔 I am soooo sorry..... I jumped out of your pocket too soon.
Can one of the ER staff bring you something to nibble on? I would think that they would have some crackers or some such stashed away somewhere. Especially if you are taking pain meds.... you need something in your tummy!
I am praying your hip can be easily fixed and that your pain is properly controled. Wish I could be there to bring you some food and something to drink and to hold your hand.
(((HUGS))) 💔
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Gracie ~ There's no "rule" that you can only post in one place........ we are all here to share the sh*tty and the silly stuff. I was DX'd Stage IV from the get go Feb. 2013. My mets are all to the bone, from the base of my skull to halfway down my thighs and every bone in between. My MO has kept me stable all this time with meds, Zometa and rads. I haven't needed chemo and hopefully won't. The orthopedic dr who found the cancer in my spine told me I would "drop dead" in 6 months..... ha! I am still here and plan on out living the jerk by many, many years.
I would be so mad to have gone through BC successfully once before and have it come back so many years later. (((hugs))
Cancer sucks. We all have the days of tears, anxiety and full on panic attacks. All that "stuff" buids up inside and it needs to come out. Much healthier than keeping it "in". Every one here understands.
I'm married but spend most of my time alone. My husband was great in the beginning but seems to have lost most of his coping skills and empathy. You'll see I call him FFH... FartFaceHusband.
My son was a high school senior when I was DX 'd. I tried to keep him from worrying and wanted him to be able to focus on school. Over the past year or so, my son has become more involved and is one of my biggest sources of strength and support. He takes me to most of my appointments, consults, tests and treatments. He fully understands all that is going on with me now. Yes, he worries about me. Having the knowledge and sharing in this experience has helped him to deal with this in a more positive way. Not knowing all the details was scarier for him. Now he can share his opinions on doctors and such - which I greatly value - and he also understands when and why I need help. We have always been close and our bond has become even stronger.
Try talking to your son and daughter. They are adults and parents. With that many kids, they have to be strong! And compassionate. Let them into this "new" part of your life so they can understand and help you in whatever ways you need.
You are always welcome here! Please check in and let us know how you're doing.
Sending you thoughts of hope and healing 🌷
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well, Evie is in Colorado, they're all settle in and her dad is already working at his new job. Chevy, they're in your neck of the woods now, so please keep an ear out. They're in Ft Collins.
She has gotten better about controlling her tongue now!Gracie, I have no experience with mets but listen to the women here. If you read the tag lines you'll see that many of them are stage IV. It's not a death sentence anymore. Lots of options out there. I hope you have great docs. Come anytime, someone is always here.
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Oh you two!! I was waiting for you both to show up to chat with Gracie and I fell asleep because I am not an insomniac, maybe a maniac, but not an insomniac for sure.
Oh my dear JunieB, this is one of the times when we wish we lived closer to each other. What were you doing sitting in one position for so long when your joints are compromised and your body is still in the healing process?? Ok, that was a scold of a younger sister. And your poor face. Are you home? What are we going to do with you?
Gracie-- JunieB (aka Jazzyjunebug), ShepK (aka Annie Oakley), and Susan (aka the Iron Lady) only when she has things on her mind,are the insomniacs. Forward and I like to stay up late like teenagers, and can't get up in the morning. You are welcome here anytime. Please don't feel bad sharing your feelings, bad or good. We have a rainbow of people here.
Susan, you fell off your bike? Are you ok? Last time I fell off my bike I wasn't even speeding. I didn't see the curb. Good thing I landed on the grass. Such a clutz! And I wonder why both of my girls are clumsy.
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Feline have a great vacay
Lookie in your pocket for today...........
Susie
Happy viewing. Nice story on PilatesJunie, the d-dimer is always positive in post surgicals, but I'm just not sure how long. So, a tough call as to whether it's a true positive.. The chemical measured is released by cutting tissue as well as when a clot's present. The ultrasound & imaging are the definitive. The insurance rule is that the d-dimer had to be positive to do all the imaging It was so stupid with post surgicals b/c it was an absolute b/c of the sx's that it would be positive. But that's insurance. the troublesome thing is the size difference in the legs, clinically that IS a concern until ruled out by imaging.....Just saw where you looked up the d-dimer. Thanks.
PATTYHOOTIE HOOOoooooooooooo
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OMD ChrissyB. Life is like a bowl of cherries left on the counter. Hahahaha. Some good, some overripe, and some bad. Head isn't in the right place, but working on it. So, wish you'd stay. How you doing. How's the southland? How are the kids? Haven't kept up with you since your DD's wedding. DS steve is getting married in Feb. Lovely gal. So, any particular ESP thought's that I ought to be working on?
Strange you should drop in now. JazzyJuneBug is being worked up for a blood clot post hip surgery.
Junie meet Chrissy. She had a knee done a few years ago and the idiots forgot to put her on an anticoagulant at discharge and she got a clot.
Chrissy remember that genetic blood study I found after you got the bleed. I was subsequently tested and mine's abnormal. So, I know it if I ever need Coumadin/warfarin. I thought it sooooostrange that I found I was abnormal after looking for stuff for you.
How's your bones doing? Several folks here with bone mets too?
Please, even if you don't stay here permanently, Stay awhile. This is a nice place. It goes 24/7 now versus just at night.
Can you still call transcontinental?
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Gracie- I have some other ideas for you, will PM you.
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Gracie, Don't worry about posting negative thoughts here. The best way to get rid of them is to share them with people who understand. We try to look on the bright side most of the time, but we've all posted when we're down and need a hand up. And there are lots of understanding hands here. Hugs.
Junie, I can't even imagine. I'm so sorry you're in pain, and hungry besides. I imagine you'll have to wait for food until they decide what they're going to do and whether you'll need anesthesia. Maybe you could have apple juice or similar now.
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JazzyJune- I am sorry about your fall and hope you are better soon sister.
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Junie, cool ultrasound negative. How far up the leg and into the groin did they go? Never too late for a guy that can mess up your lipstick Hahahah. I found Donnie when I was 62.
Two OMD's Jan69 haven't seen you forever either. ChrissyB was here today too. Nice that you lurk, but visiting is good too.
Lookie, say on clear liquids until the gas starts coming out. Ask for a stool softner and a fleets. Walk as much as possible too. The gut --intestines slow down with anesthesia & surgery. Nothing can speed up their starting to work after surgery. It's a tricky balance. The key is do everything in moderation. Sometimes the intestines just get real bitchy an go to sleep(ileus). That's why you want to stay on clear liquids till you start passing gas. Sometimes assuming the position in the bathroom on the commode helps the gas to come out, even if nothing else does.
Gracie sorry for such a troubled night. I agree with all the others. Call your doc today and ask for Ativan/ Lorazepam. It's the bestest. Well tolerated by most everyone. Never had a patient in decades that had a problem with it.
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JUNIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE CHIT......... Junie, there are activities that will cause posterior dislocation in hips. CHIT. Won't say more till you post what the doc says and does. CHITCHITCHIT.
GRACIE, never think you can't come here anytime. I think folks were just trying to say there are other threads too that cover the gamut of BC stuff. We are here 24/7. " Back in the day" when I started this thread it truly was an insomniacs thread. Sometimes when I'd come in the middle of the night everyone would be sleeping. I'd just talk away. Just me. About page 180 it became a 24/7 thread. So, even if no one's here at night, just talk and talk and someone will be here soon enough.
Hi Teka, I thought Teka was older. She is such a beauty. Of course she probably has a dozen years left. Cats are so resilient. Wished my Shats had that many years ahead of her.
Smarrty, Evie looks great
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Well, we had some excitement here last nights dogs were growling and going nuts, I let them out. Flurry of activity. All I could see was a long tail. I thought it a Detroit size rat. The dogs killed it. Why an armadillo was at my back door dunno, but he's deceased now. Dini was so proud. Shats came and hid under the table after it was over. Donnie wasn't home.
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Welcome Gracie! I also agree with everyone else here. I'm a day insomniac so in here mostly days. I'm so far behind that I need to get me a new notebook to go over all the missed pages and catch up with everyone.
I think everyone agrees that we'll be watching for you!
See?!
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