INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
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I had a lovely walk on the beach, this morning. Dawn was breaking and the sun was just starting to rise. I was pretty much the only person on the beach. As I walked across the sand towards the shore, I looked back and saw mine were the only footprints on the pristinely, smooth sand. I rememberd that poem, "Footprints in the Sand," and thought "There's only one set of footprints because, God is on my shoulder. I'm walking all on my own. I don't need to be carried right now."
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I love that poem! and in times of need it is so apt. The beach at sunup is beautiful! I'm so glad your walk was peaceful!
Love n hugs. Chrissy
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great thought Hauntie... Chrissy, i can't believe the time is so near... im up, haven't gone to bed yet. i confess the hurricane news ihas gotten me in a tither. i'm worried about your trip; and will the storm screw with it.. it will work out, i'm sure... so, like always for me, too much worry, mixed with a lot of excitement, (for you).......3jays
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3jays, don't worry about my trip, it will be what it will be. I have organised as much as I can and now it just has to take care of itself and I will go with the flow. Don't worry about me, you just be safe and well.
See you soon!
Love n hugs. Chrissy
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of course, there's a "yes but" from my corner... if the after effects in new yirk, jersey, etc; are no electric, etc... have you thought of where you'll go instead; or are you gonna chance it?
if you get a chance, call me. but, no worries, if you're too busy....
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Anybody up.
I'm spending the night at my 92 year old Dad's house. DB, who lives with him. stays at his SOs on Saturday night. He'll be home early in the a.m. Dad is usually home alone on Sat night, but we had an incident last weekend.
He fell asleep in his lawn chair out front, didn't wake up until almost midnight, was confused and couldn't find his key - which is always on a cord, attached to his belt loop and tucked in his right front pocket. My friend's son found him confused and trying to get into the house and called me (1 day home from hosp). DB is usually only a few miles away, but he was in CT at casino. My other 2 DBs, that live in the area, are both about an hour away. I rushed over and stayed with him until 1 of the DBs could get here. DD does have memory issues, but we've never had an incident like that before. It was pretty scary, but he was fine.
We didn't want to leave him alone tonight, especiallly with the storm coming. I was planning on riding out the storm here, but I think I'll go home before it really hits. I'm still sleeping in my recliner at home and even with my lounging pillow, I just can't get comfortable in DB;s bed, which is hard as a rock.
I also just do not have the patience to be here with DD right now. I had a bad day yesterday - still, sore, bitchy, frustrated, angry, weepy, etc. I ended up in tears, when I finally went to bed, because I just couldn't get comfortable. I think I slept for about an hour and a half and here I am wide awake.
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Sorry about your Dad, Hauntie. I know it's really difficult to worry about him at the same time as you are having difficulties yourself.
Sleep won't come for me either. I have sleeping pills but I don't want to take one because my 17 year old cat has come to the end of his life. He has stopped eating and will only drink water. It should only be a few days now and he is so thin.
I have been in a hurricane and I am also worried about all the people in the path of Irene. My heart goes out to them as well.
I hope you are not reading this but are finally asleep. Good Night.
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notself - I'm still awake. I was distracting myself with a game of mahjong on another website. So sorry about your cat. Pets become such important members of our families. They ask so little and give so much. We had a dog for 16 years and had to have him put down. This was years ago, but we all still miss him. Patches was the best dog in the world.
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Hauntie...I am here. I as wondering the same thing, is anyone up?
I am really sorry about the incident with your dad. How scary for you. It is so sad when you have to see someone you love fail. With all you have on your plate now, it jsut sounds like the added stress of caring for him is too much. It is okay.....sometimes we have to put our own health first.
Wish I could just reach out and give you a hug. I am really sorry hon.
Notself I am not sleeping either. So much whirls through my head I give up trying. I got about two hours sleep last night and here I sit now. I feel so bad about your cat. I have three, so I understand. I hope you find peace soon.
Big hugs........
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Janis - My mother passed away 3 years ago from Alzheimer's disease. As bad as it is, my father's memory issues seem minor in comparison to that. My mother was a 2 time breast cancer survivor. Her death from Alzheimer's was so heart breaking, I would have rather lost her to BC.
I'm just outside of Boston and it's pouring like crazy right now. There's also been some thunder and lightening. There is still no wind. I was planning on riding out the storm with DD and DB, but now I just want to get home.It's only 3 miles from DDs. DB has no idea I'm planning on going home. It's almost 4 a.m. here. Do you think 5 is too early to call him and tell him to get his ass home?
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Hi girls, I'm still around! I have finally finished packing and am rearing to go....lol.
Hauntie sorry about your dad that sort of incident is indeed scary! Unfortunaltey it usually is a promise of things to come and he will not be able to be left alone at some point. Hope the storm hasn't caused you too much of a problem and the damages in your area are minimal. With all the stresses of your surgery , the storm, your dad's health and being robbed of your hormones, you have every right to be emotional. Let the tears fall as they are a release and a cleanse.
Notself, I sympathise with you for you pet....I too have a vey old cat who is loosing weight and feels like a feather to pick up. She still eats, but obviously not enough and she is always looking for the warmest place to sleep as she feels the cold. Sometimes I think I will have her for years yet and others I worry that I am going to loose her.........I guess she will go when the time is right for her.
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Hi Chrissy - Glad you're packed and ready to go. I'm planning on resting up this week, so I'm in good shape to drive to NJ for dinner with you and the other gals.
I thnk my mood is partly due to the emotional let down after the great path report. Yeah the report was great, but I'm still healing from major surgery. I'm sore, tired and just want to be able to enjoy my new found braless freedom. This f***ing binder is far more constricting then any bra could be. My BS is a firm believer in wearing a binder to help the skin adhere to the chest wall and stop the draining of fluid.
I had the same kind of emotional fallout after finding our my nodes were clear after my MX 17 years ago. I had been "flying high and then CRASH." When I called my PCP, she said exactly that. She told me I was so elated with the good news, I was bound to come crashing down, when I realized all I stil had to get through. Looking on the bright side - which is something I have a very tough time doing, but I'm trying very hard to get better at - I know what I'm experiencing right now is mere discomfort compared to the hell of chemo and rads.
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Think, I'm going to try and read. Hopefully I'll get tired enough to fall asleep. Morning always comes quicker when you're sleeping
(big yawn) Good night ladies. G'day Chrissy. See you next week - can you believe it!
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Night Hauntie, Hope you manage to get some sleep before daylight! It's unbelievable but yes all bein g well I will certainly see you next week!!
Love n hugs. Chrissy
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I texted DB just to let him know that when he got home I would be leaving. I didn't mean to wake him up, but I did. He's on his way home. I should be back at home in my recliner in a half hour. Thank God.
Thanks gals, for helping me get through the night.
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I'm finally home and after a couple (ok more than a couple) of angry outburts over stupid stuff.... and a near fall in my kitchen - thankfully I was able to grab on to the sink and pull myself up.... doubly thankful, the arm I grabbed the sink with was not on the PMX side - I am beginning to calm down and relax. Xanax is a wonderful drug - better living through chemistry.
I don't know why, but the skin on my PMX side, from my collarbone nearly to my abdomen, is very, very tender. Even though the skin isn't warm, it feels like I have a major sun burn. My BS put me on an antibiotic just to play it safe. It's so tender that the slightest touch is painful. Right now, I can't even tolerate a soft camisole, never mind wearing a binder. I'm sitting here bare chested - (very freeing) with my drain bulb in a fanny pack. I've taken some pain meds. I think I'm ready to curl up in my recliner and finally doze off.
Good luck to everyone in the path of Irene. Winds are picking up here. I'm not sure what time she is expected to pay us a visit. In the words of Sgt. Phil Esterhaus of Hill Street Blues - "Let's be careful out there."
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No power for me here on the outskirts of Philly. Lost it at 10 last night and still out. Haunt I am planning to meet you, Chrissyb and the other gals for dinner. Really looking forward to it although we haven't met much on the threads. I just had uni mx and diep on 8/17. What kind of surgery are you recovering from?
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Kay - We're surgery buddies. I had a uni pmx on the 17th. My other mx was 17+ years ago, NED since then. I attempted immediate recon back then with a TE and implant. The implant became encapulated and had to be removed. I was lopsided untilI this surgery, which was partially prompted buy a burning desire for symmety. I'm not planning recon any time soon, if ever. This mx was totally my choice, no symptoms. Even though neither my BS or I were expecting anything else, I was so overjoyed at the clear path report, I sobbed in relief and was floating on cloud 9 for several days. How are you feeling and healing? I'm still pretty sore. I can imagine your even more sore than I am. Can't wait to meet you .
I just got up after a 3+ hour nap. I still have power, the wind is not howling. I haven't heard the weather reporrt lately. Maybe Irene decided to skip her visit to Boston.
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Hauntie, glad you got some rest.. it Will pass; but, who knows when!!! we all get frustrated with the healing stuff. the recliner is the best, use it!
Kay, we have family in philly.talked to them today, and their lites are now on.. i was the worry wart who thougth chrissy woukd miss you guys.. im sooo glad it'll work out, for your dinner date..... 3jays
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Chrissy- if you are still around - wanted to wish you safe travels and hope I get to at least meet up with you in the airport.
I've been up since 3:11am. Tossed and turned a lot and finally just got up an hour ago for good. Have now marked this on favorites since I'm usually up during the night. Hope most of you are now asleep...
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hi glas.. i really did a screw up tonight, so im catching up on my threads.. i mixed my long acting insulin with the short acting..so i took 3 times the amt of short acting. now, im waiting to make sure i catch the CRASH thats' bound to happen. DH and i agreed, can't take it at late night, anymore...!!! sure hope Chrissy is having a great, and safe, start on her trip of a lifetime!!!!
hey stanzie... good to see you, even tho you were here LAST night....
im leaving to ck my sugar...hope you're all ok. nobody home tonight....3jays
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Hi Glas
How was the sugar? That stinks...but glad that you have a DH with you to help! I haven't posted here in awhile...can't believe I am still awake...can't believe my son doesn't have the first two days of school for the hurricaine so he is then up late playing video games.....these kids need to be IN SCHOOL ! Early to bed....
I am trying not to take pain meds unless I am in pain. i am just awaked but not in pain, so happy about that and I think the increased in exercise is really helping me.
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3jays you need someone to check up on you.
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Hi Ladies -
I have been reading the blogs for months but though the insomniacs board was the best place to make a comment. You seem like a tight knit group and I would love some advice. Are the rest of you up because of anxiety or the meds that you get? The steroids just don't let me sleep.
I was diagnosed in March (while 6 1/2 months pregnant) with IDC Triple Positive. No surgery was done then because it was deemed safer to start chemo and deal with surgery after delivery. We delivered my healthy, precious baby in May and I only have one chemo left. Double MX is schedule in Oct with immediate reconstruction and TE.
Thoughts on radiation after surgery? Thoughts on Tamoxifen? I have been hearing a lot of mixed messages around Tamoxifen. I have started my Herceptin treatment and will be ongoing for a year.
Looking forward to hearing back. Thank you.
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Hi Erin, sorry you need to be here but glad you found us. For a lot of people up in the wee small hours it is definitely a side effect of the meds that are being taken and also the stress that having this disease causes, it isn't condusive to good sleep. The steroids are well known for keeping people awake.
Wow, you certainly have had your plate full haven't you! I'm so glad that your little one was delivered safe and well and all the more precious because of the circumstances.
I can't help with your question re radiation after your surgery as you are having a recon where as I did not. Perhaps the best place for that question is in the Radiation forum and to find it, just go to the top of the page and click on forum index and from there scroll down until you get to radiation as a topic and click on that and at the top left of the page you will see Start a New Topic just click on this and give it a title and then ask your question. You will get way more answers that way. As for the Tamoxifen, there are good things for it and some bad things too. For me it was no good as I was allergic to it but I do know a lot of people have been on it for years and have absolutely no trouble with it at all. The best thing to do is give it a try and see how you go, you can always stop if it gives you way more problems that it does good.
There are also on BCO, quite a few threads for young women with small children, you may want to check them out as well. Good luck with everything and remember, that we are always here for whatever you need.
Love n hugs. Chrissy
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I'm on my way girls!!! In Singapore at the moment. My laptop bettery died but I found that they have a computer that is available to members of the Priority Pass lounge so here I am!!! I shall post more on the journey so far tomorrow when I get to London and I can charge the ole pute up! So far.......it's fun!!!!!
Love n hugs to all. Chrissy
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3jaysmom -
at least with you giving yourself too much short acting insulin you know you did it and are ready for your BS to drop. When I was working in the ICU, it was too easy to draw up too much of one or the other insulin, especially when taking a mix of short and long acting like you are. If you need to take one at night when you are tired, maybe have your DH look at your BS reading with you and watch you draw up the insulin. In many hospitals now it has to be done by one RN while another RN watches and signs off too. If you got the bottles confused, maybe put a big sticker on the long acting one saying 'LONG' and a big sticker on the short acting one 'short'. Also draw up long first if you are using the same needle and syringe for a mixed dose.
Hope you are okay - orange juice and glucose tablets on stand-by!
ErinEKM1 - I only had my lumpectomy before my radiation and the DMX with reconstruction six months later. I don't like taking my Femara (anti-hormone tx) but realize the benefits I derive from it. So, I have almost made it through one year of hot flashes and aching joints and migraines, and I'll gladly do another 4 years if it improves my chances of survival. Have you had a lumpectomy yet or are you going straight from chemo to a DMX?
Welcome and good luck - did you have a precious boy or girl?
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Chrissy, Now I am impressed - the Priority Pass Lounge!!! I think I will always be waiting in the general area on those hard uncomfortable seats - just a warm-up to being cramped in the back back back of the plane next to the toilets. You deserve it!!!!!!!!! Enjoy every minute!
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Erin you have been through alot and i am so glad your bab is here and healthy! that is wonderful. I have been on Tamoxifen about 10 months and yes there are side effects but noeveryone gets them and they do come and go and most are very managable. There is another thread called Bottle o Tamoxifen and the ladies there are a huge wealth of info on TAmoxifen. What kind of surgery are you looking at? feel free to PM with any other questions. BEST wishes to you and your new baby!
Chrissy have a wonderful trip!
hello to all
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oh sorry my post was meant for 3jays...hope you are ok ? Chrissy have a great trip! You are a dedicated BC.org follower!
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