INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
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Mags, we are with you.
As long as you have access to his email you can reset the passwords and get in to what you need. I hope this helps.
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Magdalene: you have my heart as well.
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So sorry Mags, Love you
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Mags, So sorry for your loss. Know that you are surrounded by love.
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Magdalene, my heart hurts for you. I’m glad you’ve had family with you and hope you are surrounded by loving friends. I can’t imagine dealing with your husband’s death and chemo at the same time. We are all with you in spirit.
MJ
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Ma111 started the Death and Dyeing thread. I was with her for the first 28 pages then wandered off after Ma111 died and I didn't. I expected too, but again didn't. In those first pages there were a lot of us that talked about preparation. Bon had created a masterful page on 26 of that thread. It was a synopsis of all the early pages. Plus Bon's bag that was a piece of beauty in that it had everything in it that was needed after death or for bugging out in a crisis like fire or wind.
Bon left BCO b/c of a tussle latter on in the thread. She asked BCO to delete all her posts. Bon's Bag had never been copied by anyone. No thought that it would ever be gone.
How reading those early posts may help now? The things we need to plan for are there and for some pages after. D&D then turned into a discussion group of those preparing to die. But in the early days Ma wanted it to be about what to do to get ready.
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Dear Mags, My heart will be with you tomorrow. I'm so sorry that you have to slog through the unexpected things that have accompanied the loss of your dear husband. Brend
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Shep - Sorry I missed your Birthday, but here is a belated video for you to enjoy.
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Mags - I am so sorry for your loss. I'll keep you in prayer.
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Hi Sensi - Good to see your post, you and Chance are looking great!
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Mags
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Mags his loss will take years to subside in your heart. Strange words. I understood the Victorian year of grieving when Greg died. I looked at the ceiling a lot for a year. Grieving takes a long time. Anger takes a long time. Anger that they could have done different. Anger that there docs could have done different. Hade you known about the cirrhosis could you have changed things. No. Yes, Maybe. Even if he had changed things. NO.
You stated he couldn't deal with you and BC, yes that might be true, but the damage was already there.. Please, dear one, don't blame yourself or think you are in anyway related to his outcome.
We choose our way. You found that he chose his way.
You now have a mess to deal with. Some will read that statement and think it cruel. But I've known others that didn't have a plan. It is so hard not to delete this because it sounds so cruel. I know what Mags is going to have to go through in the next year. Had things been prepared it would have been an hour with a lawyer. It's awful the things that she will have to do, and grieving on top of it.....
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Sassy, the good news is that I have so much help! My friend recommended a funeral home, they have done the lion's share of funeral prep (by the way, the funeral is NEXT Friday, not tomorrow!) and our church has also been awesome. But the incredible company that he worked for for 23 years is the unbelievable part. His boss, his manager, and an HR representative came to the house today with the check for the life insurance which was held by the company. Before they even had a death certificate! They will help me transition my health insurance to either COBRA or Medicare, which ever is better, plus there are still bonuses, 401k, and a company pension. And they consider me family, they won't leave me hanging.
He will be buried in a military cemetery, with honors, and a plot beside him reserved for me. At no cost.
At some point I will need my brain to start working again, but everyone seems to understand that I need my chemo week rest.
It was a long day. I went to my hairdresser and got a perm so I won't have to mess with my hair. Then the bank, where there was a situation with my legal name - too long to explain but a kind personal banker worked out the details and the insurance money is in the bank. I'm exhausted. Hope I can rest tomorrow. I'm just not accustomed to all the noise and people. I'm off to bed now, way too late again. Blessing
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Love you Mags
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Did this with thoughts Of Ma111 nBon b/c of Mags and David
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topics/859838?page=1#idx_4
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Thanks, Sas.
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Blue when you go through the posts from Ma111 in the first 25 pages. You will learn to love her. I miss her.
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Mags so glad to hear you have had so many kind guides and loving helpers. Take all the help you need. Time to say Yes to anything you need. What a relief that the funeral plot is arranged and that you need not worry about medical insurance. So many difficult things to deal with, thank God you have some helpful guideance. Wishing you many more blessings. XXX
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Mags,
I sent a post to you but you may have missed it. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am so glad to read your last post and hear of all the support you have had. You know my prayers are with you and your family during this most difficult time.
Love,
Nancy
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Mags, so sorry to hear about your husband's passing. May the Lord give you strength to get through these trying times. ((((Hugs)))) and prayers for you.
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Sorry Mags , I failed you. All these years of talking. Never thought to ask about preparation. I know you will say it wasn't my fault. But this is stuff I used to be on top of. It fell by the wayside b/c we always had such fun on the phone. Can't help you now, but I did a thread based on Bon's Bag. It's most of the stuff that's needed to be known. A day late and a dollar short. But better than nothing for other people.
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Mags - (((HUGS)))
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Answered a newbies question. Standard USA response. Then looked at her location, Argentina. We expect certain practice guidelines standard throughout the USA. No clue what there practice guidelines are. She needs to be seen by her doc and she can't find him. Duh We have rules, like signing out and coverage the whole schmiel. UGH
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Ugh, it looks like I am getting new neighbors next door to me. Hope they are quieter than the last two families were.
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Sympathies wwee have a strong dog presence in our neighbourhood. Most people brilliant, responsible dog owners but 2 new families (next door to eachother) leaving dogs out back all night. Cue:all night barking.
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Feline - So much for a good nights sleep, Huh? What are the temps there right now. If it's to cold, maybe someone can call Ireland's version of the Humane Society?
It is quite cold here now. 46 degrees now and a low of 38 tonight. Brrr! Had 2 days of dry weather, but tomorrow the rain will fall again. We just finished cleaning up after last the major storm from last Saturday.
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When I was in high school and the neighbor's poor unattended dog barked all night (she would,, until she was hoarse and no bark came out but she was STILL barking) I would call the neighbor and hang up loudly. They thought it was my parents and yelled at the dog to stop, at least some reprieve. When I was an adult and the neighbor's dog barked I started training it when they were gone to listen to me and stop barking. When that did not work on the next set of wild dogs across the street, I got a megaphone and would talk to them like GOD. And they hid. Until they figured out God was not the one talking then they barked more. sigh.
Dread moving back to any kind of civilization. Our nearest neighbor is 1/4 mile as the crow flies. We can hear dogs though from a mile away.
The new prescription for cough relfex is a mild antidepressant for people who cry often, cannot sleep, have anxiety. It has been helping me sleep. Coupled w a touch of melatonin and hemp oil it really works.
Tonight I am up late because I have not stopped peeing. I bought a box of cat's claw tea for a diuretic to use instead of 40 mg Lasix which my kidneys are quickly becoming dependent upon. So about 1/4 a cup of cat's claw tea produced as much urine as a cow except for me more sittings. Still going, so awake. My sister once drank two cups cat's claw tea when she did not know what it did LOL and she urinated profusely for seven hours. THAT is how I knew to go lightly. I will brag to hr later. This is really not a bad tasting tea either. I can see how she drank two cups.
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BTW, had an ultrasound of my thyroid and around the area today. I watched on screen as they measured some dark roundish shapes. I looked up thyroid nodule images from ultrasound and they matched what was on my screen. And THAT can cause a cough and thick mucous. Though those symptoms do not get listed on most symptoms of thyroid nodules. But they can, especially if the nodules ar in back of thyroid. 2016 in July I had an ultrasound that did not find a nodule that proved to be at the base of my thyroid but not in thyroid, it was cancer and Ibrance made it disappear on PET CTs. But it was not found until Nov 2016 on the PET CT. I will know more in a few days.
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Best wishes Bluebird.
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My new neighbors still have not endeared themselves to us. Hubby and I were helping a friend's nephew who was running in our local election at the polls yesterday. Well we got invited to the post-election party to wait for the results and when we came home, we found our new neighbors had parked their washer on our driveway while they were busy with other stuff inside!!!! My hubby was fuming!!! He got out of the car and moved it into their driveway. They never asked us if they could do that, if they had, it would not have made hubby so mad! They never even came out to apologize to us either! All we heard when we were finally inside was their complaining about their precious washer having been moved to their driveway
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