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Any 40-ish survivors?

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Comments

  • Kymn
    Kymn Member Posts: 887
    edited April 2011

    Hi girls, 41 here diagnosed Jan 10 two lumpectomies and have had 2 rounds of FEC so far one more to go then D for 3 rounds.Then off to rads for 5 weeks. I have a 14 year old son and my daughter just turned 9 on the 19th. I too looked at the 40 to 60 year old thread but didnt seem to appy to me either. The women on the drinking thread are so kind but it does move fast :). so far I havent lost my sex drive but worry DH might not be so much into it anymore. I worry all the time about how I look to him now. I hate the look of my breast with the big scare and indent. I hate being bald I have put on 8 lbs and counting and well I just feel sad about my lack of self esteem. I am still working full time but I do take 4 to 5 days off after a chemo treatment as I really feel crappy. They havent gotten the right meds for me yet to kick the sick feeling. I havent lost my period but certainly am getting some chemo pause moments like cold and hot flashes and night sweats. I too like to have a drink, prefer rye and diet over beer though in fact having one right now lol :). I havent really changed anything in my life yet, diet is just what ever I feel like at the time, make up the same, still using deodarnt when I think about all they suggest ( I agree who the heck are they) I just get overwelmed cause how am I ever going to know what caused this. dont know if I am BRCA  positive yet and I cant get tomoxifin or any other treatment after chemo as I am triple negative and I guess there is no targeted treatment for us yet so this chemo crap better kill any little bastards that might still be in there. I try not to think about it too much the fact that it could come back cause then I would just get more depressed. Over all I try and stay happy and enjoy life but when I am alone I do have some pretty sad moments. I too find I binge eat now and then I beat myself up over it which is really crazy I should be being nice to myself right now.

    anyhow glad this thread was started looking forward to gettting to know you all

  • burley
    burley Member Posts: 248
    edited April 2011

    Look at us girls, we made it to page 2!  woot woot

    Hi Kymn!  I know you from another thread...can't think of it right now-still suffering from chemo brain (wondering if I'll ever get my brain cells back!)  Welcome, glad you found us.  I too suffered from low self-esteem after the BMX, and was afraid to let my husband see me naked for a long time.  And to be honest, that hasn't changed a lot.  I prefer to take a shower when he's not around-luckily he leaves early and comes home late.  And I still wear a bra when we're having sex-which he hates.  I think after I get my tattoos done (and my headlights go down a little bit), that will change.  I didn't work while I was going through chemo, so I felt very lonely and sad a lot of the time.  Then you throw being bald on top of it-wow, my self esteem was in the toilet.  Now that I have some hair back it's a little better, but it's just been 2 weeks today that I got my hair cut and colored...so no wig, and no hat.  I'm very self-concious when I go somewhere, and think everyone is staring at me. 

    I'm sorry to hear that you're so sick after chemo-I'm sure they've tried everything, including Emend?  That worked wonders for me-expensive, but worth it.  That's great that you're able to take time off after your treatments-you must have a really understanding employer.  That's awesome.

    My binge eating is at night-I'm an insomniac, so I typically eat something around 11pm, then again around 1am...vicious cycle, because then I'm not hungry for breakfast.  Sometimes I don't eat until dinner if I've slept in that day.  The weight I have gained has settled on my butt-I was just looking at my butt in the mirror and OMG, it's getting huge.  So I'm thin up top, perky C-size implants, with a big butt...not a pretty picture.  Oh well!  We're here, right?

  • Kymn
    Kymn Member Posts: 887
    edited April 2011

    Yes were here but I want to feel good too I want it all lol. my butt has always been on the bigger side lol but weight is going in my tummy which used to be flat now its.....well gooey as one of the other ladies put it. ARRGGGG.

  • Kymn
    Kymn Member Posts: 887
    edited April 2011

    oh I think I saw you on OMG they found a cure for stupid lol...funny but moves way to fast for me.

  • mom2one
    mom2one Member Posts: 51
    edited April 2011

    Hey everyone:  I am set to go to Duke on Wednesday to find out if they think I need further tx.  Further tx is scary but no treatment seems even scarier.  I had two sentinol node biopsies done (one on each side) now my arm pits feel "dry".  I guess that is the word I want to use.  Anybody experience this?  Any suggestions?  I have been putting lotion on but it still seems dry to me.  Weird.   I am now 3 1/2 weeks out from BMX with TEs.  I just had my first fill on Wednesday.  Feeling tight but what else is new.  I also have 2 furry friends that have been wonderful to have around.  One in particular is very sensitive and sweet and approaches me very calmly and lays her head on my lap.  The other one comes up and looks at me like "come on lady, get up and take me for my walk".  I am getting a little more energy back but kind of feel like a wimp.  This has really been more painful for me than I would have thought.  Although I did have 3 surgeries on the left side.  I can't even think about sex for right now, but my DH is very understanding.  He knows I've been through a lot.  I would love a glass of wine, but right now I am still taking pain meds once sometimes twice a day so I am refraining. 

  • burley
    burley Member Posts: 248
    edited April 2011

    Hi mom2one (hey, what's your first name?  I don't see it in your signature)

    My armpits didn't feel dry, just numb.  REALLY numb.  It took about 6 months for any feeling to come back into them.  Don't feel like a wimp!  If you're one, then so am I.  I was down and out for a good month, and on pain pills the entire time-and I consider myself to have a high pain tolerance.  There's a thread where a lady was asking what to expect after a BMX-I told her my story and how much pain I experienced, but there were ladies who said they went back to work 3 days later.  I didn't drive for 2 weeks, and after that, only drove the 1/4 mile to and from my daughter's school.  Rest up!  Take naps.  Pamper yourself.  Your furry baby will understand.

    I don't think I had sex for 6 weeks afterwards, and even then I was in pain (mostly from the TE's).

    Don't be scared of further treatment-just think of it as another opportunity to kill any remaining cancer cells.  There's so many of us that have gone through it-we'll see you through it, and guide you along the way. 

    Good luck on Wednesday-sending out hugs from AZ.

  • burley
    burley Member Posts: 248
    edited April 2011

    Oh and Sue-can't remember your "handle"-did you get the MRI results?

  • tougherthanithought
    tougherthanithought Member Posts: 270
    edited April 2011

    Hi Ladies!  I'll join in, too!

    I was diagnosed at 38 (I'm now 40), and am married with 2 kids, Ryan, age 9 and Sydney, almost 7.  I work parttime, and I LOVE wine! 

    For a while I was active in the 30-somethings thread, but I felt like since turning 40, I should exit!

    Kim, there is an American Idol thread out there already.  Maybe that's where I've seen you! 

    Sherrill

  • burley
    burley Member Posts: 248
    edited April 2011

    Hey Sherrill-I think I may have seen you there.  I pop in and put my two cents in, but it's another one of those groups that I didn't join in the beginning, so I don't know everyone and what's going on in their lives.  I wanted a group where I was in on the beginning, and could get to know everyone.  My chemo group was like that, but it's totally dried up-sad : - (

    Welcome!  Thanks for joining in!  I wouldn't feel comfortable in the 30's group either, so I totally understand.

  • KitCat1
    KitCat1 Member Posts: 13
    edited April 2011

    Hi Ladies,

    Can I join the group?

    My name is Cathy. I have twin boys age 10 and am 46 years old. I had mastectomy and am still contemplating DIEP for the future. Life is busy. The boys keep me going. I love them dearly. sometimes I feel so guilty that our children have had to see their mom go through this. I wish you all a Happy Easter.

    xo 

  • SusanHG
    SusanHG Member Posts: 455
    edited April 2011

    Hi Everyone!  Just noticed this thread.  I am 42 years old and have been going through everything since my biopsy results came back on Dec. 15th.  Originally, they thought I just had a large area of DCIS, but after my first lumpectomy, they found a tiny triple negative tumor (3 mm. ) .  It has been quite a ride:  MRI, genetic testing negative, lumpectomy, decision over what to do next after getting path report (chemo? mastectomy?), decided on re-excision and no chemo, one bout of breast cellulitis, started rads last week, then got another bout of celluitis 3 days in, now feeling better and just finished rads #10 out of 36 today.  Totally wiped out, but realize those cancer cells are probably feeling worse than me right now.  Loved my wine before diagnosis( along with coffee and sugar), but pretty much have given them up for the next few years (except for special occasions of course and really good wine (it definitely has to be worth it))

    They are not sure where my cancer came from (no family history ).  The only risk factor I have for triple negative BC is I was borderline obese at diagnosis.  Since, I have lost 30 lbs. and have 30 more to go (according to onc. who wants me at the bottom of my weight range).  Finding hard to diet during rads, but will resume when I feel up to it.  I have a 6 year old son and a very understanding husband.  For me, this whole cancer business has actually helped bring my husband and I closer, so no trouble in the sex area so far :).  One of the few silver linings anyway.  Totally wiped out from rads, but will always be here at the boards no matter what. Glad to meet you all!

    Susan

  • o2bhealthy
    o2bhealthy Member Posts: 1,089
    edited April 2011

    Can I join too??  I was dx'd at 38 and just turned 40 in February.  My kids are 16 (DS) and 12 (DD) and they are awesome kids but I worry about them.   My DD has been testing the water with talking back to her dad and pushing his buttons.  My son is lost in his Xbox to the point DH is ready to get rid of the Internet and his game (but I would miss this site too much so Internet has to stay) Undecided  On top of that my DS got a call yesterday from a man at your church offering him a job this weekend helping him move. What does my TOTALLY LACKING IN AMBITION son do, he tells the guy "uuhhh, sorry somethings come up and I cannot work for you this weekend"  WTH!!!  Money is tight, we have really been stressing to the kids that they will have to start earning their own spending money and he just blows off this opportunity the day after he told his youth leader that he could pass his name and number out if anyone is looking for some help???  I hope those offers don't dry up after this...DS will be 17 in Aug and does not have his drivers permit nor does he show any inclination to get his drivers license.  Any suggestions???? DS really is a great kids but he is a hop & skip away from adulthood and because I have been so focused on 'surviving" I feel that we have not prepared him for the harsh realities out there. 

    Burley - you live right down the road from me, I am in Cottonwood AZ.  Have you attended any of the Phx get togethers??? 

    Hi Sherrill!!! You must think I am a stalker as we tend to frequent the same threads Laughing

  • o2bhealthy
    o2bhealthy Member Posts: 1,089
    edited April 2011

    Oh on the subject of drinking, I don't like wine or beer but a nice cosmo or gin & tonic is a lovely treat.  Confession time...the day before each chemo my girlfriend & I would go to lunch and have an adult beverage.  I now limit myself  to 1-2 beverages a week and only when I am out with DH or friends. 

    Sex...Tamoxifen and chemical menopause had completely dried me up and took away all desire.  Even when my DH & I attempted sex it was so painful that I would tear no matter how much lubricant we used.   I stopped the Tamoxifen in Aug 2010 (was going to take a little break but decide to make it permanent).  Now I can honestly say I am back to normal Laughing

  • KitCat1
    KitCat1 Member Posts: 13
    edited April 2011

    Oh ya... I loved my wine before dx. Now I limit myself. I  have a glass of fine red on special occasions or when hubby and I  go out for dinner.... I finished TCH Sepetember 2010... rads... November 2010.. and now have 2 more Herceptons to go......I am still tired and can't get my level of energy back. to normal..... feel good though... then after a busy day   .. drained.

  • LtotheK
    LtotheK Member Posts: 487
    edited April 2011

    Where is Swanseagirl?  I'm 40, diagnosed at 39.  Four rounds of TC, rads, and Tamox.  Which is currently giving me a chronically aching back and groin, spoke too soon about doing great on it : (

    Generally doing great, would like the hair to grow faster, would like to come out of chemopause (hot flashes, dryness, you know the drill).  It's been 7.5 months, so I'm starting to lose faith.

    I tend to troll the boards here and offer information for the 40ish set.  As they say, it's a different disease...I also work sometimes with Young Survivors.  They are great advocates for women our age

  • shooshoo23
    shooshoo23 Member Posts: 12
    edited April 2011

    Hey girls! I would love to join your group! I'm 43 and have a 15 year old son and a 10 year old son. I love beer and wine but haven't had any since right after my diagnosis. I have 3 bottles of wine and one nice cold bottle of Miller Lite that I stare at everytime I open the fridge but I've been afraid to drink any!

    As far as sex goes.....I'm entirely toooo tired! I haven't started Tamoxifen yet. My next appt with my MO is on May 9 and I think I'll start then. I don't finish rads til next week.

    My chemo thread has dried up a bit too and everyone on my rads thread is finishing up so I would love to connect with you ladies!

    Cheryl 

  • KitCat1
    KitCat1 Member Posts: 13
    edited April 2011

    LOL on the" Bueler "Burley! I love Ferris! 

    Cathy

  • KitCat1
    KitCat1 Member Posts: 13
    edited April 2011

    Lol on the " Bueller " Burley! You gotta love Ferris!

    Cathy

  • mom2one
    mom2one Member Posts: 51
    edited April 2011

    Hey Kim:  My name is Lynette and I live in Virginia.  Thanks so much for the encouragement!  It is greatly appreciated.  I have read a few of the women say they felt great 3 days after BMX with no pain and I think they must be insane.  I can't even imagine.  I wish it was true for me, but I will say I am feeling a little better everyday.  Can't wait to get rid of those darn TEs though.  I hate them more than I thought possible, but I KNOW I can get through it.  At least that is what I keep telling myself.  I can relate to your story very well.  Thanks for giving me insight.  It is great to connect with all of you. 

    O2bhealthy:  I loved your story about your DS.  My DD is 15 and she and her Dad are so much alike it is scary, so needless to say they rub each other the wrong way sometimes.  As the "outsider" watching it is actually kind of funny.  I keep telling them they are both identical although neither one believes me.  LOL.  The good thing about DD is she does alot of jobs for neighbors like babysitting/dog sitting so she buys almost all of her own clothes, makeup etc.  I will say she is a great kid who 95% of the time is a good girl.  The other 5% involves a lot of eye rolling.  I keep telling her its not what she says to her dad that irritates him its the way it is said.  If that is all the trouble she causes though I think we are lucky. 

  • o2bhealthy
    o2bhealthy Member Posts: 1,089
    edited April 2011

    mom2one - that is it exactly!  My DD and your DD could be twins!  It's not what she says but how she says it.  Funny thing is they treat me with the utmost respect but they do get frustrated with their dad and sometimes it really shows in the way they interact with him (and how DH interacts with them).  My kids are 95% awesome and 5% eye rolls too. 

  • tougherthanithought
    tougherthanithought Member Posts: 270
    edited April 2011

    Hi everyone!  Michelle (o2bhealthy), nice to see you here!  I always remember you, because we have a very similar DX and were the same age (38).  

    What is everyone doing for Easter?

    Sherrill 

  • jackiebrown
    jackiebrown Member Posts: 12
    edited April 2011

    Dear o2bhealthy,

    I loved reading your story about giving up Tamoxifen. Did your doctors give you the ok after or suggest you start aromotase inhibitor? I just had results from my 3rd uterine biopsy (also had 2 D&C's for the same thing) and am so tired of Tamox wrecking havoc on that part of my body. I decided to give it up and really take diet/lifestyle advice seriously to do all I can to reduce chances of recurrance. My onco wants me on something (tamox or AI's) for another year but I soooo want to give it all up... !

    I was 40 when diagnosed and am now 44, my 3 boys are now twins age 9 and youngest age 7. They haven't fully entered the world of electronic games yet, but one of the twins is already testing boundries with us, which is exhausting... I don't love wine (allergic to it) and occasional beer is nice, but I must admit I love nothing more than a fabulous vodka on ice (total vice !).

    Thank you so much Kim for getting our age group together !

  • Kymn
    Kymn Member Posts: 887
    edited April 2011

    Hi ladies, happy good friday. I am just lying in bed watching the stanley cup playoffs i am a huge hockey fan, GO Canucks go, even thought hey are pooping themselves right now lol. i was so proud of my DS today he is 14 almost 15 and was hanging with some friends this afternoon, they were going to get someone to buy them some booze so my DS said to them he wished he could stay but his mom instisted he be home at a this time. He was so funny cause he felt bad that he blamed it on me but i told him I was so proud of him, he got himself out of a situation without looking like a baby and that is what I am here for, blame me, what a great kid. My DD is fighting a cold i feel so bad cause I cant cuddle her like I usually do cause I dont want to get sick. stupid BC. Is anyone here getting chemo through IV? I have had 2 treatments and my veins are very sore, like they have shrunk and I cant completly stretch out my arm. i will have to ask my Onc on Wed when I find out if my counts are ok to have tx number 3 on thursday but just wondered if anyone else had this.

    Hope you all have a wonderful easter weekend with your families

    Hugs Kymn

  • o2bhealthy
    o2bhealthy Member Posts: 1,089
    edited April 2011

    Kymn - I had a port so I never experienced issues with my veins.  

    jackiebrown - my onc & I have a love hate relationship. It could be my expectations, especially after reading about some of the terrific onc's on this board.  But I expected the person in charge of saving my LIFE would be interested in me as person in addition to treating the disease.   I never felt like she acknowledged the SE's from chemo, if anything she minimized my concerns or seemed disinterested to helping me find solutions to cope.  I really wanted a little more compassion.

    I stopped the Tamoxifen because I was told (incorrectly) I needed to be off the tamox for my MRI at least 4 weeks prior to the test (Ummm I heard 8 weeks J).  Of course I was jumping at any excuse to quit. She very upset about the mix up that caused me to initially stop Tamoxifen.  The one thing she did do was finally give me the numbers for my rate of recurrence with and without Tamox, 11% vs 6%, not taking into consideration the Herception.   I am choosing to trust in the Herception and try to bring more of a balance in my life hormonally.  My ER was 10-15% +

    I have been really frustrated with my onc ever since my thyroid cancer dx.  I begged for scans to confirm my NED status but she would not authorize them.  I needed to KNOW I was ok!  My mom  helped me $$$ to have a full body thermography which lead to my ThyCa dx  and even though my onc got copies of the thermogram, US and biopsy I never got a call from her office until just before my surgery (6 weeks after the scan, 3 weeks after dx) and it was one of the nurses asking if I had gotten a referral to a surgeon...

    I just had my 3 month follow up last Friday.  I really expected some push back about the Tamoxifen and a discussion about other options.  Apparently she was not concerned and when I brought of the subject of having regular periods again she had nothing to say.  I really think we may have written each other off. 

  • christine47
    christine47 Member Posts: 846
    edited April 2011

    Hi, I would like to join your group, I do not fit into the group for older 40-60 gals, I am tooo young.  I am 47 and have two boys 12 and 14, still having fun doing stuff with my boys.  I was 46 when I was diagnosed last year.  I had BMX with TEs, and like everyone, hate the TEs, even if they look good, hope I am not disappointed with the real implants.  I am currently receiving chemo/TAC, last treatment will be next week!!  I will not be having rads, but expect to start Taxoxifen when chemo is done.  I work part time now, but worked full time prior to diagnosis.  I am married to a great guy, but I have no desire for sex, surgery x 2, currently chemo, bald, fat, steriod rage, need I say more?  I hope things will get better once I recover from chemo, loose a few pounds and get some hair back. 

    Well nice to meet you all, hopefully we can become a new group of friends.

  • o2bhealthy
    o2bhealthy Member Posts: 1,089
    edited April 2011

    Welcome Christine!  The TE's are really horrible, I felt immediate relief after my exchange and the implants do look nice although they do change a lot over the first 3-6 months as they drop and fluff.

  • Paula66
    Paula66 Member Posts: 1,572
    edited April 2011

    Hi all!  Id like to join as well.  I'm only 44 and this seems like a good place to be.  I have 2 kids, 20 & 17.  Wow where did my babies go. 

    Ive had a BMX and TE as well.  Im having a few issues so I  hope the final exchange is better. I am so ready to get them out and exchanged.  They are so dang rock hard and uncomfortable.  My sister went thru this 10 yrs ago so she can help me some with issues, everyone is different and she didnt have some of the issues I have.  Maybe there are others who have problems sleeping since the final fill.  I really havent slept well since then.  I keep waking up in pain from my TE, then I have to roll over and try to go back to sleep.  This is all I do toss and turn all night with very little sleep.  Im so ready to scream.  Is anyone out there like this as well.  How you dealing with it.

    Thanks Paula

  • christine47
    christine47 Member Posts: 846
    edited April 2011

    Michelle,  I hope you are right, I have had the TEs since Dec2, and everyday I think about how hard they are, feels like I am always wearing a bad underwire bra, and I have not been able to wear a bra since i got them.  Only good thing is they look pretty good.  Did you have any concerns about size?  The size I am now looks good, but I worry they could look to small post exchange.( I have read about this on several boards)  Maybe I need to have him overfill 50cc to make sure this does not happen.

  • o2bhealthy
    o2bhealthy Member Posts: 1,089
    edited April 2011

    Hi Paula - I had so many pain issues that I was literally ready to call the whole thing off after my last fill.  I took Ambien for sleep and slept in my recliner.  If my PS wasn't so far away I would have demanded he remove some saline so I could breath without pain.  I just muddled through with muscle relaxers and pain pills until my exchange. But ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the relief I felt when I woke up from my exchange.

    Christine - my TE's were filled to 550cc my implants are 650cc.  The purpose of the TE's are to STRETCH out the pectoral muscle and build a pocket to hold the implant.  They have to be very hard to accomplish that stretch.  The implants are much, much softer and they can appear kind of flat immediately after the exchange.  After a while the muscles start to relax and the implants will drop and fluff into a more natural shape.  Do you know what style and size of implant you are getting?

  • lrr4993
    lrr4993 Member Posts: 504
    edited April 2011

    Hi all! I was diagnosed in august of last year - two weeks after my 40th bday. Stage 1 but triple negative so I had to do chemo. Finished rads in late feb. Now anxiously awaiting the full return of my hair and energy. But are coming along, but not as fast as I would like.



    Not married. No kids. But I do have a niece and nephew that I adore and that live nearby.



    Sex - well - not for now. I had just ended a long term relationship a few months before dx. I had someone I was interested in, but since dx dating is the last thing on my mind. I feel completely unattractive with my very short hair. Until that gets back to normal, I don't see me dating. :(

    I seem to be in chemopause but am not sure if it is permanent. I have no hot flashes, eQtc and there are small signs that my ovaries are trying to get going again. They held out half way thru chemo which I am told decreases the chance of permanent chemopause.



    For now, I am just trying to be normal again. I work (attorney) sand spend time with friends. Headed to Greece in two weeks for a trip I had to cancel last fall because of dx. I love to travel and am excited to get back to it.





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