Any 40-ish survivors?
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Hi Miss kymn, Hang in there. I missed my hair too. Before all this breast cancer stuff my hair was thinning. Many people said they bet it would come back curly and thick. Do people say that to you? Anyway..mine has come back wavy and thicker. Two more treatments and it will be back! btw- my eyelashes came back very thick!
Hi calopa, Yes...I can relate...I can not take tamoxifen so I am on Fareston. I know I am holding water in my tissues in the legs. I too have always been kind of fit (not triathlete fit...wish I were)but yes I have seen my body change. I have been recouping from surgery but today is the day when exercises will begin for me !! I try to walk and that helps my brain sometimes. I hope your tests and scans will show no spread at all. I am glad that the ONC stay alert to our changes but I know it can also be difficult to wait. Hang in there. I was not one to take any pill ever. It can be hard for me to take the Fareston but I also want to starve the cancer to death so I am ok with it. I don't know if that helps ..I am so sorry to read about the women in your life.that have had to fight this. I pray that someday the cure will come and no one will have to go through any of this.
Diagnosis: 4/7/2010, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIa, Grade 3, 4/19 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Hi All,
Was trying to catch up with the thread before I joined, but made it to page 6. Can I catch up on the go?
I'm 42. Was 40 at DX.
I'm married and have a 9 yo daughter.
Had neo-adjuvant chemo (AC+TAXOL+HERCEPTIN).
Had DMX and immediate reconstruction with alloderm on January 2010. Worked full time during chemo. Took a month off to recover from surgery.
Believe in coping through laughter and usually am optimistic.
BC changed me and changed my goals. Since this is a thread of gals my age and similar stage in life you might be able to relate.
Hope I can be here for those of you starting the process as well.
Thx for listening
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Hi miatai,
I feel like a chatty kathy so sorry to jump in to say hi. I didn't read all the posts either. I jumped in because I am this age and have been through most of what the girls have ( or at least some ). I have not really talked to anyone about breast cancer so here I feel like I could chat and chat..again sorry for the long posts. I can not imagine going through all of this without becoming a different person. I really have learned what a gift life is...all the small stuff is of no concern anymore. I jumped into this thread because I hope to be of some help to anyone starting through too so I can only think the more ladies here to help the better!!! It's nice to have something in common with each person. I think some people who are not going through this try to understand and really want to help,but I really feel like you almost have to have gone through it to truly understand. Again I hope to be helpful to anyone going through this ...
Thanks to you all,
Kim
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Hi All,
Not sure that I ever introduced myself, but I've been reading and posting - sorry!
Anyway, I'm 42 years old, married, have two kids (3 and 6), and I was diagnosed the day before my 42nd birthday. My mom was diagnosed when she was 41 also,and she lived 12 years with mets (died in 1995). Fortunately, mine was caught way earlier, so I have every intention of seeing my grandchildren (one day WAY in the future)!
I had a bilateral in October (on my mom's birthday); went through chemo (ACx4 and Taxolx12), and I'm on my last 7 days of radiation (28 total). Have worked full time through all of it with the exception of 3 weeks off for surgery. Fortunately, I can work from home, my management team is great, and my husband completely rocks!
I'm normally very optimistic, but BC has given me a run for my money on some days. I'm just thankful for a really good support system at home, work and church.
Here's some wacky stuff - my BMX was the same day a my mom's birthday; my nurse navigator at the hospital is named Janet (my mom's name) - her last name has "angel" in it; my anesthesiologist was Jerry (my dad's name); and when I came home from surgery, daisies (my mom's favorite flower) were blooming in my flower bed (October in Colorado). Kind of weird, but I feel like my mom is with me on this journey.
Anyway, I like this board and appreciate the kindness with which everyone treats one another.
Sandy
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Lump at 35...diagnosed at 38...I'm halfway to 47. No idea which group I sit in now but looking forward to 50.
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Hi carmelle, AMEN I'm with you on that one!!! I would say you are close enough to that 40ish range!!! I never thought I'd say ...I want to be 50...but I really do!!!
Last day of school today YEA!!!! I am off now to take some 13 year old boys to the pool. It is going to be a hot one in Kentucky today. I think a record breaker....
Kim
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Hello girls! Dang, I go camping for 5 days and I can't catch up on all the posts.
WELCOME to all the newcomers. Glad you found us-this is a great group of ladies.
Couple of things...
Juliebell-so glad things went well with your surgery. Sounds like it has gone well for you, and I'm glad! I definitely didn't feel as well as you as quickly, so I'm happy you didn't have my experience. We're here for you on your treatment road ahead.
Kymn-I'm so sorry you miss your hair. I did too-so much. It made me cry a lot. And I'm still missing my hair-it's so short, considering my last chemo treatment was last July. I hope yours grows in quickly, and as beautiful as your picture is.
Calopa-I have the EXACT same side effects as you are experiencing on the Arimidex. Isn't it frustrating to suddenly feel so old? My husband has been so patient about the lack of libido and painful intercourse, thank God. The joint pain gets really old, and there's not much I have found that makes it better. But just think of all the good the med is doing! That's what I do.
Camping was awesome-great friends, great weather, cold drinks and a roaring fire. I rode my quad quite a bit, and I'm definitely feeling it now. It seems like every muscle on my body is sore. Now I have to unload and clean the trailer-fun. How do we make so much laundry in just 5 days? And everything smells like a campfire, so it has to be washed twice. Yea. Not.
Every time I log on, I'm so happy to see everyone still here. Thanks for making this an awesome thread.
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If you are coming in June it will be hot. Today it is currently 98 with a heat index of 101. It feels much hotter.
Today went better than I thought. We had a nice breeze until about 1:15 and then the heat wave hit. I did okay until I had to get in my very hot car to come home. I actually thought I might pass out before getting home. I get in the shower to cool off get out and we hear a big boom. Our power went out and my hubby had not gotten my lunch fixed. I am happy to say he went and picked me something up. The house got up to 80 before the power came back on. ugg Hoping tomorrow is much cooler since it starts at 8am and ends at 11:30am.
Glad everybody is doing well and as well as is expected if you are still doing treatment.
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anyone loosing their husband over all this?? I think I am
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Oh Kymn, I am so sorry you are having a rough time with your husband. I have been married for 21 years, and my husband has been scared to death over all this, and sometimes just doesn't get it, but I think he is in it for duration now. Maybe you can get some counseling together. This cancer is really tough on a marriage, even a good one will be challenged.
Hugs to you,
christine
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(((Kymn))) - my DH and I needed lots of counseling to keep our marriage together. It has been hard but we are over that hump now. I don't think either of us could really understand where the other was coming from and we were both scared and in survival mode. I hope you and your DH can weather this storm together...
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Hey ladies. Trying to keep up here. Lots on new names - welcome! This is a great thread.
Have to share my new "low fat diet" tip: Walden Farms calorie free/fat free/gluten free dressing. I just tried the chipolte ranch in a healthy spinach salad with chicken and it is so good! Of course, the multiple "frees" that it claims makes me wonder what the hell is actually in it . . . some chemical soup designed to taste like food. But it is good and will greatly help me stick to my diet, so I am ignoring that concern.
Kymn - I hope your concern about your husband is just chemo depression talking and nothing serious. Although, I can certainly see how this situation can put a strain on a marriage. There have been times during this that I wished I was married to have the support and help (although family and friends have been great). But more often than not I have thought that I am glad I don't have to worry about a spouse going through this with me and the stress it must place on them and the relationship. Give yourselves some lattitude . . . you both deserve it. This is madness. But you are almost through the worst of it.
Feel free to PM if you need to vent, although you may be better off venting on this with someone who went through this with a husband.
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Hi kymn, I'm so sad to know you are having problems with your husband. This cancer business is not easy all by itself...I know I don't have to tell you that. I hope you also have some friends and family close by to help. When all else looks dim...I do pray or talk to him anyway. I hope you can find some comfort. I will be thinking of you.
Hi sandy, You did have quite a few wacky things going on. It does make one think you are not alone in that . How wonderful you are at the end of rads. I had about the same number as you.I try to be optimistic too but this is a scary road to travel. It is not always easy to do with grace and smiles. I think the people who have gone through this understand that.
Kittydog, That is hot!! It was hot here in Kentucky ( I mean Texas hot ) I still have that darn arm swelling thing in the heat...this too shall pass I hope
burley- so glad to know you had a good time camping.
We are off to the pool again in the am. Then I will follow up with the ONC to see why my white blood cell counts are still so low. Hopefully this is just my new normal number...
I enjoy you ladies,this is so wonderful to chat with ladies from all over the world and find that we are so alike .
Thank you!
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Hi girls....havent wrote in a while...been pretty busy with life. Finished my radiation in Feb. and was waitaing to have my plastic surgury...but now this cancer thing has thrown me a new curve, The mamogram I recently had has come back with some abnormal results. I restest June 7th trying not to stress but its hard.Anyone else going through or have gone throught this?
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Dena~ I'm so sorry for your worries. Sending you lots of positive thoughts and hugs!
Kymn~My DH sees me like a patient now, even maybe childlike? Chemo was so incapacitating mentally, he just took over what he had to. I try to see him like a knight in shinning armor as opposed to clinical. We are in such busy times in our lives, I guess that's why we are still working, too distracted to really look.....Hang in there.
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Kymn - my husband told me that when I was first diagnosed, he thought about how he was going to raise our kids as a single dad and how he was going to cope without me. He was scared out of his mind simply because the only "story" we knew was my mom's, and she died from breast cancer when I was 26 (after a 12 year battle). It was ugly, but there were mitigating circumstances (no health insurance, diagnosis after mets, etc.)
And then we went to a great doctor, learned even more about breast cancer than I thought possible, and my husband realized that breast cancer isn't a death sentence. Treatment is something we get through, and then we manage day-by-day from there.
Is it possible that you're husband is running scared at this point and withdrawing because he's terrified of losing you? Does he know and understand the survival rates for your stage and the recurrence rates based upon your diagnosis/treatment? Have you told him that you're fighting this with everything you've got so you can spend many more years with him by your side?
Has he had the chance to do some things for himself? I know that taking care of me and out kids all the time was wearing on my husband (he didn't say so, but I could see it), so I made sure that my husband had days here and there where he could do some woodworking, go for a bike ride, etc. just to give him a break. That seemed to be very helpful.
I've seen comments (on this site) to the degree of "if your husband can't understand what you're going through and that this is all about you, he's an ass and you should dump him." I think you owe it to yourself and your relationship, though, to think about your husband's perspective, the emotions he might be feeling and have a conversation about those things and what it's going to take to get both of you through this.
I'll be praying for you,
Sandy
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Hi All,
Kymn, I'm so sorry for the additional troubles you are experiencing. Some men find it easier to gear into action mode. I know that is how my husband coped. After we had the medical plan, we sat as a family (DD, DH and his son from previous marriage who lives with us) and he told them that the following months we are all going to be "enlisted" to get me through the treatments. I think the fact we all knew our "jobs" helped us cope.
Each of them had additional but very clear responsibilities. We are usually not a very organized family, but this time it really helped.
I don't know your specific situation, but maybe it would help to give him things to do. Not expect him to think about them himself. Men are sometimes a little clueless.
Burley - Sounds like you had a great time.
dena - I've heard of many incidents of scar tissue from surgery showing as suspicious in mammos and ultrasounds. Hope this is your case.
Hope you all have a great day (Morning here...)
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Dena, I think it is so hard not to jump to conclusions when you face cancer. MaiTai has a good point about scar tissue. Another thing to keep in mind is that once we have this diagnosis- everyone is on high alert to changes or any something that can not be easily seen . Radiation can also be tough on our tissues. It is awful to wait..but do try to think positively and I will have you in my prayers as well.
Kim
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Hi Kmur,
I wanted to say, I also have low white cells count. it has been that way since chemo (year and a half ago)I feel good though. No one seems to mind. Not the family doctor or the onc.
Do you feel weaker? Have you been prone to flues etc?
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Hi MiaTai,
Thank you for telling me that....I have been feeling fine- no infections,colds or fever. I have heard the chemo can change the white blood cell counts for some time??? I think the concern was that the count was 2.1 or 2.4 (can't remember which one) It is good to know I'm not alone. I will post what he has to say.
Have a good day everyone- Hot here again in Kentucky...I think summer has arrived.
Kim
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Hi ladies, thanks for all the support. Had a very long talk with Dh last night and laid it all out on the table. Said I wasnt putting up with him going out all the time anymore and if he wanted to be my parnter in this great if not I do not need the extra stress with everything.I would rather be alone with no one who cared than with someone who doesnt. He finally talked to me about his feelings and begged me to let him show me he could be the man I needed him to be. We shall see. god this really takes over your whole life....I HATE CANCER
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kmur,
It was nice to read all your posts. Your so suportive to everyone. You must be surrounded by great people. I read so much but don't always post....usually one of the kids steals the laptop
anyhow. I had first AC yesterday and feeling really well. Going to get nulasta shot later and hope its not as bad as they say 
ronda
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Kymn: Hope your DH steps up and is the man you need him to be. I thank God everyday for my DH. He has been great. Before all of this he was pretty squeamish when it came to hospitals and doctors, but after my BMX he was helping me with drains and everything. Hopefully since you were open with him about your feelings he will come around. I'll keep you in my prayers.
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Kymn - Glad to hear you talked to your husband. Hopefully things will improve. Again, I have no personal experience on this, but I can't help but feel like it has to be so very hard on the husbands and probably provokes unusual behavior out of fear and confusion. Lets face it, men are usually big babies on a good day!
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Hi girls,
Well tomorrow is my first post chemo appt with my onc. I expect I will get my rx for tamoxifen, not sure what else to expect, other than a quick check,labs and port flush. I am also going to set appt with gyn for transvaginal ultra sound, for baseline measurements and to recheck ovary that lit up on my PET scan. I am now 5 weeks PFC and thought I was seeing some hair progress, now nothing, so disappointing. I am going to ask about effexor for hot flashes, anyone using this?
Kymn, glad you were able to talk with you husband. Mine has been complaining about a sore elbow for about 2 weeks (tennis elbow, to much golf or changing channels with remote control), finally my young son said "Dad, get over it, it is not like you have cancer". At least the kids get it.
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Hi Ladies, Hope everyone is ok today.
Hi Ronda, Thank you for the kind words. I do have a very supportive husband and a couple of close friends. And dogs. For the most part I don't talk about this cancer stuff with anyone but my husband ( poor guy ). Guess I feel like most people would not know what to say...I did not have much of a problem with the first 3 rounds of chemo either. Felt pretty good. One thing I didn't know is not to take the things you really love to eat to your chemo treatment. I don't know if anyone else had this happen to them...but I took peanut butter and jelly ( My FAVORITE) and after that I just couldn't eat them anymore...didn't get sick but the smell made me think of it I guess (weird). So anyway. That may not happen to you at all ...
Hi Christine 47, Sounds like what I remember with my first follow up too. I did try effexor but didn't like how it made me feel. I started out having lots of hot flashes toward the end of chemo,would wake up many times a night tried effexor twice and stopped. I do have to say over time the hot flashes have gotten better not gone but better.
Hi MaiTai- you were right! My white blood cell counts are still low but ONC is not concerned. I guess this number can fluctuate pretty regularly. Its the overall picture that is more important.
Kymn, Hope your talk will make things better. This may not be an appropriate time to tell you this and I hope you know I'm telling you this to lighten your spirits. One day at the ONC office I saw this little old lady...she was dressed so nice and she was just a well put together little southern lady...when she turned around the front of her shirt said "CANCER SUCKS" and when I read that in your post I thought of that ...I hope at least you will know we all think it sucks too!! You hang in there and know there is a bright end to all this. By looking at your picture...you are a lovely woman and know this too will pass.
Peace to all of you,
Kim
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I've started having hot flashes. Woke up 4 times last night burning up ... and then gone within minutes. Weird.
It's day 3 after chemo #3. Not feeling totally yuck, just tired and lethargic. Funnily I've been quite good up until tx the other day. Got to the hospital, sat on bed and felt like crying. The chemo nurse tried to have a chat and I really had to force myself to be nice as I felt quite hostile. It's not her fault I know but treatment end date seems a long way away. The woman sitting next to me only has 3 x weekly taxol left. So jealous!!
Kymn - I miss my hair too. Hate hate hate being bald! Glad you had a talk with DH. I hope he starts giving you the support you need.0 -
HI all, doing better today,hubby cancelled a few of his outings for the next couple of weeks so maybe he really did hear me. I am wathcing my Canucks play...Go Canucks Go.....very exciting sure hope they win this first one.
.Kiwimum yes it really sucks being bald big time. I just want to look normal again sooooo bad. I know what you mean about feeling hostile, sometimes I just dont want to talk I dont want any small talk or being told how strong I am. I know its not their fault either but its tough sometimes to just hold a conversation,
kmur that is funny I loved it we all think this sucks old an young it just bites lol
christine I have a lady at work who is constantly complaining about her thiroid condition, good grief so you have to calcium I really dont want to hear it, she is constantly comparing it with what I am going through....really.....sheeesh I'll trade ya
Irr....yes very true they are like big children arent they lol. I sure hope he has heard me too I am trying to excuse some of the behaivour as just panicking and not knowing what to do but now that i was very clear I sure hope it ends.
mom2one so glad your husband is doing all that for you. give him a big kiss for all us women who wish our hubbies could take lessons from him
rondajean I am praying that the SE stay far far away from you and you continue to feel as good as you are.
ok third period is about to start have a great evening all
Hugs Kymn
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Calopa... Sorry you are struggling... I have not made it to hormone therapy yet... onemore thing tolook forward to..... Your familyhistory is amazing... sounds like a moving target. I will be thinking of you
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kmur - I had to laugh at your comment about peanut butter and jelly. I LOVE cherry and black cherry Kool-Aid. I had adriamycin during chemo, and five months later, I still cannot mix Kool-Aid for my kids. First time I tried, I gagged, and my husband had to finish. Most recent time, I had to close my eyes while mixing, and my husband still had to pour it for the kids. Maybe I'll get back to it one day, but it's not looking good! 0
