Single life after a mastectomy
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Um, my memory in general sucks. Seems to be improving a bit. Not fast enough for me thou. I use to be quick witted, detailed, organized. Now I feel like I'm in a constant state of discombobulatedness haha
Getting back to work after two weeks off was rough. Plus a change was implemented before break and things were affected that weren't considered. So, crazy days for me ahead until summer when we can roll out a fix. I'm definitely not the smartest in the field but oddly I'm great at finding problems. Hm
Hope,all have a good night. Cold here so I'm going to curl up in my bed.
O, any tips on winter and neuropathy in the feet? I bet there's a thread. Worried I won't notice when my poor little toes have had enough.
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Me at the client site today.....
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ha ha ha jazz that is funny .I think we all had a Linda at some point lol
Bb yes my short memory is not as sharp
And well mom s are just tired this days so they kind off give up on the parenthood role lol
Simplicity I had neuropathy in my feet for almost a year and half and it was brutal but the good news is that I got the feet back to 100 % normal so once the chemo is complete out you will get better.
I had a busy day yesterday and made $200 lol
I spent $40 so got 160 which is great.
Last year I gave a referral to a Mortgage broker and yesterday I went to the office and he saw me so before I left he gave me a xtmas card with a chq fr 200 lol it turned out the mortgage was done and that was my commissions
I was so happy cuz I thought the fact that I had been absent from the office so long that he would pretend to have forgotten and that I would never see the $
Ok I am studying hard today cuz I didnt yesterday I saw I great video of Marco rubio
Here it is try to watch it to the end.
I like him.
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Not sure why it does not show when I copy paste here
U.S. Senator Marco Rubio
NBC News' "Meet The Press"
March 2, 2014
http://youtu.be/filWTMGbiTk
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E- congrats on the $200 this week. Good way to start the week!
One of my first challenges going into this client site is seeing a former friend I cut the cord with when I left my big project there in 2014. She invited me to go on a trip with her and suffice it to say, I have never been treated WORSE on a vacation than I was with her. My red flag was she had done a similar trip with two other women the summer before and beoched about it to me how bad they were. Somehow I doubt it. I told her at the end of the trip that she should not travel with other people since she clearly does not like to. I left my contract not saying goodbye and took her off social media. Don't need toxic abusers like that in my life.
I saw her the day I started and was cordial and said hello. She has lost a lot of weight and told her she looked good. But it is clear if she is really angry at me. Whenever I see her now she glares at me, and makes a "hmmp" noise. Now I just stare back in stoned silence. Yesterday she seemed to be over whatever hostility she has towards me and is ignoring me. Yay!
Always someone there I have to deal with like this. Fortunately she is not going to be on my project team.
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oh jazz I am sorry you have to have one evil person there I have 3 in my work place and I am so glad somehow they backed up after I told the director how I felt it seems he told my manager to stay far from me and he has so the other 2 also follow him. It's so bad when u must deal with rude people at the office. I am happy I am in a different building and I only see those evil people once a week on a stupid team meeting it's every Monday and one by one must say in front of everyone what they are working on lol
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bb I am so happy day one is good
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BB- good news on finding something for some income. Good to start somewhere.
But alas, that creates another problem for you. Can you hold off on doing the surgery for awhile longer. I was not sure how long you have to do that. Maybe better to get some money coming in and other things taken care of first? That way you can buy yourself an ACA plan to cover your follow ups, etc. Maybe a place to begin?
I am glad some things are turning around for you.
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Ugh. I was stuck in that grey shady area for a while with 3 kids. Not fun and frustrating. Me I chose to stay in the lower income and accept assistance with the instability of things then (2003) until I could surely stand on my own two feet. I could talk all day about how screwed up I think that system is.
Glad to hear thou that things are looking up for you.
I thought of some of you when I read this. As other friends always say, be kind to and gentle with yourself. Show yourself some compassion
I know I could do better in that area. 
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We always tend to have compasión for other and often forget ourself
But if there could be more people like that the world could be a better place.
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So true Enerva.
Funny story. At the beginning of this I met a new bc sister (lots of those) and we were standing on my porch talking, she was in tears, scared. Has had issues arise and she was done in Feb 2015. Scared to go back to Dr. Anyway were talking, I'm trying to comfort her, and she suddenly looks at me and says "You're co-dependent!!"
I laughed so hard! I had never realized and it explains sooooo much! An issue or pattern I see in past committed relationships I'm trying to correct or avoid. I always end up giving so much of myself while they take take take. Well, they haven't been tha bad but in retrospect I'm firmly disappointed in myself for my last relationship (5yrs).
This new guy, E is so different than what I'm use to. A real giver. Comes to me most the time and the man works every day and has for the past couple years. He's very passionate about his business. So far.....so hard to trust. I'm trying. Eyes wide open thou.
How's your back tonight E?
Bb, you doing ok?
Jazzy, I'm envious. Wish I could shadow you for like a month. I've had 2 really good brain days in a row and that's got me feeling pretty good
Days where my thought process actually feels normal...whatever that is. I need to peep into the other threads and check on Cami, NativeMainer, life and all the others. Things seem so crazy all the time. If I'm not busy, I'm resting. Rad skin is completely healed btw. Left side still has a minor infection. Just keeping an eye on it.
My cat isn't doing any better
The hole by her tail seems bigger. Need to make a decision about surgery for her. But if they find something? Vet says it could be cancer. What kind of suckyluck is that? She's my first feline rescue Hope all are well and sleep tight.
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Simplicity- you would not have wanted to shadow me today!
If you can get your org to pay for a PMP certification or get one through your studies when you resume, you can get a better paying job as a project manager. I can tell you have what it takes to be a good one too. Many IT folks go that route as they move through their career path. I have worked back from management into this for consulting work here in my old age (ha). Something to consider down the line as you can even begin to think about this stuff again.
I am sorry to hear about your kitty. Is that the cute black one you have shared photos on FB of? That would not be cool if your cat had cancer. I hope she is okay and can get better.
BB- I think that trip did remind me I am too old to take trips with people I don't know well. You talk things through and think you know what you are getting into, but maybe not in the end. I told myself after that trip, I will only travel with the known entities. The trip was oriented around jazz and enticed me. The music part was okay, the rest, not so much. Live and learn.
Cubbie- are you doing okay with rads?
Lily- how are you doing in the new year? Were your holidays okay?
Melp- I think you were in the hospital last post, are you home and resting now?
Life, Heart, and all the rest of the ladies here, I hope you are doing okay in the new year.
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Rads are going OK - I'm not quite halfway through and my armpit is starting to get irritated. Otherwise, my only problem until this point has been some itching. I really wish they wouldn't play music while you are in there. I don't want songs I like ruined by being associated with cancer treatment. Yesterday they were playing something by Sting, and I thought, "good, In always hated this song anyway." In fact, I hated the whole CD, so that one was fine with me! I was not happy when they were playing Christmas carols on Christmas Eve.
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Morning ladies.
Cubbie, my 4th week in was my worst. Keeping it moisturized? Hope you're handling it ok. For the itching, try some hydrocortisone cream. They can give you something stronger if you want it. Will you be doing a boost?
Ugh. Work 12-8 today. Least I'll get a lot done.
Jazzy, I'd love to do something like that but not until my kids are all over 18. Little boogers still need or require adult supervision ha. Not sure how I'd even get to that point thou. I have mgmt and lots of customer service experience.
Hope all have a great day! I'm going to lay back down.
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jazzy - no I haven't been in hospital for a while now. Trying at the moment to deal with the emotional impact of having mets.
I got lots of lovely stuff for xmas including a spa voucher so that will be cool to use
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Simpllcity- know you can be a project manager without being a consultant too. But that being said, it does sometimes warrant extra duty and with children, that makes it challenging. You need to be able to just get stronger now one day at a time.
Cubbie- can you tell them that you prefer to not have music while you are in rads? I remember when I did internal rads, they had music for me and let me choose what kind I wanted. Then the music system in the room broke and that was that. You should be able to request that?
Melp- sorry sister, I think I had your hospitalization confused with someone else. It is an overwhelming thought to take in this news. I think a trip to the spa is a good idea. What kinds of treatments do you like? Do you have a friend that can go with you for a girlfriends outing or prefer to just do your own thing?E- I love that you are helping the young girl. Sometimes young folks need to see different role models of the way adults can be. You have such a good heart.
Getting a lot of moisture here and the weather is making me feel arthritic. Going to go take a hot shower and then will end up at the gym in the hot tub later today. I think I need a massage myself.
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Simplicity, it turns out that my armpit irritation is not due to radiation - tonight my other armpit is starting to get red and irritated, too. Then I realized, it's the new Bath and Bodyworks soap! Since I can't wear deodorant during radiation treatment, I've been having to wash my pits several times a day (I'm a stinky girl). I have this soap I got at a Christmas sale, that's supposed to smell like candy apples or something, and I think I'm allergic to it, or seriously irritated by it. I'll show it to the nurse tomorrow. In the meantime, ouch - I have Aquaphor on both pits now!
I have been using hydrocortisone cream for the itching, and that seems to have subsided. I don't think I'm getting a boost, since the main thing I need radiated is my armpit. (Did I mention ouch?) My surgical margins were like 3 centimeters or more, so they are radiating my scar in more of a "as long as we're in there anyway" philosophy.
Jazzy, so you do project management? I have a "coordinator" title, which means I do pretty much everything under the sun that I have even the vaguest knowledge of. Sometimes I feel like I spend more time coordinating than actually working on anything, though.
I've got to get to the gym, but hello to Melp, E, BB, Lily...I know I've forgotten some people. I'll try to write more later.
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Cubbie- yes, I do high level work from portfolio management to large complex system program implementations.
Coordinator work is very important! You are right that you have to do everything under the sun!
Sorry to hear about the skin problems. When I did internal rads, I could not use deodorant either and had tubes in my breasts so bathing in general was tough. There have been times a hot shower has become my best friend after not being able to shower for awhile.
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Got some good news on my bone density test from December. The Prolia shots I am taking to mitigate bone loss from the AIs is working! I had a baseline right before my dx and was very slightly osteopenic. That has gotten consistently worse since I started the AIs in March of 2013. My MO recommended we do this to help keep the bones strong while the AIs hold down my estrogen. Bone increase went up anywhere from 4-6%. So I will continue and need to call MO's office with new insurance to get that approved for my visit in a couple weeks during follow up time.
Thought I would share it in case any of you taking these are having similar issues with bone loss. The SEs are pretty minimal, gives you a flu-ish feeling for a day or so but nothing you cannot deal with (no major sickness).
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Hi ladies, Here i am to vent a little bit lol
just want to share some drama i had to deal with but its is all under control now. Here it goes:
Last Monday Jan 05 around 8pm oh well better give you a bit of the history so lets go back to 6 months ago lol
I have a nephew in Vzla who along with another nephew have been trying to immigrate to another country due to been students and
very upset about Vzla situation the country is in such a mess. Anyway i kept telling them Mexico is the best place to go cuz i have contacts there and it could be easy for me to help them out for a few months etc.
One of my nephew has his Father whom separated my sister when the baby was 5 years old. The guy re married and has a new family. Anyway his father opened up a business in Panama city and asked my nephew and his other son whom he has with his new wife to go to Panama and work at the car wash business he bought. My nephew who was despaired to leave the country said yes right away and my other nephew was left behind due to the deal was only for the one who is the son of the guy owner of the business. Anyway all seemed ok so my stupid sister allow her son to go. I have been in tough with him by msg all this months and though paypal i have sent him $50 now and then but he never told me anything in details. Just that the business was not so great , that he was working a lot and that no salary yet etc i kept tell him to hang in there that been in another country is very hard etc. but i never knew much about the situation. So now lets go back to the present, las Monday i get a msg from my sister telling me she needed to ask me a big favor that she would call me, that was around 8pm
So i was chocked when she calls me and tell me that she could not sleep the night before cuz she spoke to my nephews girlfriend who has been in Panama visiting him for a month now and that the girl told my sister of some issues that were going on. It turned out my nephew father arrived 2 months ago to Panama with his wife and his other child so basically his hole family was now there and that my nephew was been treated badly as per the work. He was the one always working like 18 hours a day and no pay. Also not eating well and always been treated as if he was a stranger and some kind of unfairness overall. So my sister started talking to my nephew asking him how is everything ? how he was feeling etc and the boy started to cry and opened up and told her that all that he thought was not how it was presented to him and that he was so sad and tired and that he wanted to come home. So my sister got so piss and told him to get his ticket and send her a copy so she could change the dates and he could go home. So when he looked for the ticket his father had hide it. Anyway i got so upset and i told her to send me the picture of the 2 passports and right away i got them a brand new ticket. Anyway my nephew and his girlfriend return home last night and i am now in piece. Imagine when my sister saw her son the boy lost around 25 lbs he is like a skeleton never has been that skinny and morally down. my entire family is so piss and happy he is back in his house. Now my other nephew saw this and imagine how they feel. I spoke to him and told him that this is just one bad experience and that he is too young so now he just need to plan and they can both go to mexico when time is right. That life is not easy but that this is nothing.
On the other hand it is sad that he didn't feel he could just tell us basically he was been taken advantage off for 6 months ;(
the situation in Vza is so bad my family could not do anything in terms of getting him back cuz of the $ crisis the regular folks has no access to credit cards or $. but his fking father forgot i am here i would never allow anything to happen to any of my relatives so imagine that crap. I has been sick to my stomach. Also my nephew who lives here told me that he also did not know our kid did not tell no one. every time we asked him how was everything he would say ok all is ok.
Anyway there i needed to share this with you all ;(
but i am happy my nephew is home now and well the small relationship he had with his father is now broken for ever. Either him or us will ever forgive this one.
Can you guys imagine that? be very careful always make sure your child speaks up to you guys i never ever expected this to be happening
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E, thank goodness you were able to get your nephew out of that situation. It's hard to believe a father would treat his own son that way. Terrible.
Jazzy, glad to hear that the Prolia is working. I was reading a bit about how it works differently than the biphosphonates and doesn't have some of their bad side effects. It sounds like it would be my first choice if I had bone loss. I might mention it to my coworker, who has been diagnosed with osteoporosis. She's been reluctant to try medication because the biphosphonates side effects are scary, especially the possible jaw necrosis. Maybe she should ask her doctor if Prolia is an option for her.
I talked to the RO's nurse today about my rash. She suggested I put both Aquaphor and hydrocortisone on it over the weekend and check in with her again on Monday. I think she's a little worried that the combination of the soap allergy and the radiation could produce a really raw area if we don't get ahead of it. She said if it wasn't better, they'd get me a prescription medication.
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Cubbie , yes i am also glad i got him out
i wish he had said something earlier but this is just life there many kids that for fear or shyness stay silent ;(
hope you have a good night i am trying to study and tomorrow i will do an open house and also Sunday
hoping i can get a client soon.
night night
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I am so sad . I just found out my friend who is in france has Mets . C went now to her bones
I can't sleep just thinking
When will a cure be here for all of us?
My sister called me to tell me and she knew since xtmas but did not say anything to me cuz she knows how much I love that lady.
Honestly I don't know what to feel anymore. I am so tired.
I ll meditate or try to and maybe then I ll be able to sleep
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hi yes love is definitely possible after. since my treatment, i have gotten engaged and even had children. given it has not all been a smooth ride but you are definitely able to live a normal great life
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Omg E. I cannot even imagine. As I was reading, honestly, a lot of it sounded so foreign to me mostly because I didn't realize things were so bad in Vzla, and his own father? Ugh. Glad he is home safe but I just can't imagine having to flee what I know to be home to be safe
How sad. How is your back these days? My tum is still hurting. That makes it about 2.5 weeks. Just before I started Arimidex. So sorry about your friend I don't know what else to say. Cubbie, glad you found the source. Definitely hope they get that under control before you continue. What week are you coming up on? My third my armpit got worse, my fourth the whole are became increasingly worse. I had to take a two day break (Mon & Tues) cause my pit was so burnt
thinking of you. Hang in there. Hope everyone else is doing ok. BB? Your awfully quiet. You ok? Lilly? Life? I know Jazzy is busy busy.
A good day to all.
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good morning. I didn't sleep much
Cubbie try the alo plant . It helped me a lot
I was fine with rad till the 3rd week my under breast was just burned and so sore I have no idea how I lasted 6 weeks. The things we endure are just brutal.
Simplicity yes is sad. Did u watch the video of Marco rubio I posted before we're he says all that's going on in vzla .
Anyway is bad but there is hope this year the president ll go down
Hoping for a better country maybe in another 50 years
I will be gone and won't see it but it's a start . This year it ll change
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Good morning ladies- I survived my first week at the client site on the new contract/project. Been awhile since I put in a full week on site, so I am adjusting to the new schedule, but glad to have new work. I should see some cash flow in a few more weeks from my first invoice. The project is interesting, although a bit complex and political, but holding my own.
E- that story about your nephew is just no good. That man who is the biological father sounds like a real user, invited the son who probably would like to know his dad better, but treated like nothing more than a slave. I am glad you were able to help get him out of there. What a creep.
Sorry about the family friend having mets. Since I got my dx, I have known three people who have gotten a cancer diagnosis including one with bc, one with endometrial, and now one going through lung cancer treatment. The later just had surgery this week to have part of a lobe removed. Every time one person finishes treatment, I hear another person has gotten a dx. It just sucks. You have had to watch too many people you care about go through this. Hugs sister.
Cubbie- I am glad the rad techs are keeping on top of the skin stuff. I was told that the Prolia shots are a smaller dose of the drug denusaub that they used for bone mets. It helps to keep the bones strong around cancer related treatment. I have a friend who has osteo and back on bone building drugs and may move to Prolia as a last resort. My MO told me they won't always approve Prolia for osteo patients as a first course of treatment, but usually will for cancer patients. If your friend ends up needing it, I hope she does well on it.
Simplicity- I saw on your FB support page you got through a FT work week and know that was not easy. I remember when I had to move from PT to FT and with some heavy deadlines. I hope you can get some rest this weekend. Easier said than done, right?
Thinking of Lily, Life, Melp, BB and others here. Wishing you a good day.
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E, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I wouldn't be able to sleep after news like that, either. It's too bad the two of you are so far away from each other. Is there anything you can do to support her from afar?
I just finished my third week of radiation. I think I would have been doing fine, if not for this soap. If the fourth week gets worse, then no wonder the nurse was concerned.
Jazzy, glad to hear your first week at your new assignment went well. It must be a big adjustment to return after having been gone for a while. I think that would be difficult about contract work.
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BB, I am so excited for you! I hope you get this job. It sounds very rewarding, working with Alzheimer studies - the work you do could make a real difference in people's lives now and in the future. I'm not surprised you got an email about a job you applied for in November. The last time I was looking for work, I was surprised at how slow employers' search processes have gotten. After I finally got a new job and had been working there for a few weeks, I ran into a person who was involved in hiring for another company I had applied at. He asked why I hadn't applied for the job at his company, and I told him I had. He told me he hadn't even seen the resumes from HR yet, and he wasn't going to start interviewing for another few weeks. I just boggled, by the time they got to interviewing the people on those resumes, at least half of them weren't going to be on the job market anymore.
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BB- that job sounds so awesome. I am glad the interview went well and hope you get to move on the process to an offer. It sounds like a good fit and think you are ready. Maybe asked your chiro if you can do early morning or after work apts.
Sorry to hear about your mom but glad she is okay. Is your sister gone now and does watching over her fall back on to you alone? Much to deal with there sister. Hugs.
I think getting back to work, having your own income, the benefits you need, etc. will definitely help your self-esteem. It feels good to be able to take care of yourself. What rewarding work too. We need more research done on Alsheimers.
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