Single life after a mastectomy

jazzygirl

Melp- so good to hear. Go enjoy your weekend!

jazzygirl

BB- she sounds like she is doing better! I hope she will be here this weekend to provide updates. Her recon sounded like it left a lot to be dealt with after the fact.

You are doing well with your goal of for someone else and for you. Today I am doing something with a friend that will be both for her and for me. We have both been down with losses this year and going to cheer each other up. We always laugh when we are together, and know it will be good.

Have a good weekend ladies. It is freakin' hot here too.

Simplicity

Evening Ladies,

They are Jazzy. Lately, they have been there more for me than local friends. Coming to stay and help. We've been through a lot together via text. Shared a lot of personal things about parenting, life, and all in between lol Laughed, cried. Every time I meet someone from the board, its been like we already know each other. Not a bad experience yet. We had a great time. I moved slow, was very comfy on the ride, had beautiful views for some dressing changes, got to see a bear shit in the woods, a deer, a bobcat, and awesome views.

Enerva, I love those commercials. Those are beautiful Enerva. I love horses. One day. I swear one day I will have my very own. Yep. Your shading is great.

Melp, great to hear!!

BB, Im lurking via email. Have run into more complications Eh. Is what it is. On antibiotics now, didnt come home with any after surgery, and things are looking better. This new hole thou...concerning. I see the Dr Tuesday morning. Hoping he doesnt cut in there again MF!!!! In the hospital (II was admitted Mon early am. I think around 1am-Wed) he just grabbed scissors and started cutting, no warning. "You shouldnt be feeling this" I AM!!!!! AND IT HURTS!!!!! I have a high threshold for pain. Always have. But I swear, between that and the 4 attempts at an IV, 2 of which were by ultra sound guiding (I had an audience at my door. evidently not a normal thing?), and one, a nurse with 35yrs experience, ugh, it was awful. I screamed worse than I did birthing 3 kids. Bleh

Work is giving me issues, naturally. I swear. As if we (long term care patients in general) dont have enough to deal with. But being the business man he is, E reminded me theres a point it becomes a cost to the company. Realistic. One of the things I do love about him. It sucks but its true.

At my job, which I am very grateful for, colleagues can donate time to other colleagues in the event of a life changing thing. But there are policies, and some policies were broken, on my behalf yesterday and some people got in trouble for being kind hearted and trying to help me out *sigh* Sad. So many times we see the beauty of humanity only to see the ugly of humanity creeping up right behind it.

Enough time was donated to cover me working half days for the rest of the month of July. A colleague that was involved in the kind act, did it because she cares and said "I cause my own trouble. You didn't do anything" I cried. We hugged. SO, trying to decide what to do. I was kind of forced to get something in as far as this months hours, but also stated in the email, it may vary depending on what the Dr says Tue, and how this hole heals. Out of habit, I bent over to grab something with my left arm (The one with the hole right there at my arm on the boob) and lazily chuck it? wasnt lazy enough. So I do try to be careful and mindful. Im babbling. Think I will use the time while its there. File for another FMLA. I lost 80hrs last time because I didnt know it expired (healing has a 6 mth max how I, as a patient, interpret that policy), so whatever is there, I need to use. Heal mentally, physically, spiritually. I can work from home. Just not sure how far that would...be allowed or tolerated...August is going to be crazy. Im going to need to come back with a bang.

BUT!! Get this ladies, O I hope I am not cursing it. I got E to take tie off tomorrow night and Sun Were suppose to be leaving for the mountains around 1. Got a room up there. Going to go exploring the little mtn towns, rivers, creeks Walking will be good and will get my blood flowing to the places that need healing I know or can feel when I need to stop. We may even just end up sitting on a dock, feet in the water talking. Theres little mtn stores with local artists items. You can just sit outside by the river O nature. I neeeed you lol

My pictures are graphic. But if anyone would like to see what abdominal dehiscence looks like, or an abscess on the breast, just message me.

Nite everyone. Hope all are doing ok

Simplicity

Hate youre having a rough day BB. I popped in just to answer your question. No, I don't think I'm doing too much. Runs parallel to your post in my opinion. I have to tend to my body, soul, and mind. I can't make progress, in much of anything, unless I (in this case, gently) push the bounds. That's the logic behind PT, OT or any other kind of therapy, yes? I know concern comes from a place of love, care, and concern but I've always been the type that recharges by stimulation. Nature, good friends, intellectual or no friggin clue conversations, good music, good laughs. The mind can be a dangerous thing if left unattended. Hugs.

Hopefloatsinyyc

simplicity- we are alike in that regard... Keep doing what you need in your self care. For some (myself included) that means being busy and out pushing past boundaries even in times of recovery..., it's how I heal.

I hope everyone is managing ok through their individual stages! I have been entertaining clients every day for the last 9, for 6-12 hours a day... Tomorrow will be a 12hr "shift"... But I plan on taking Monday off to recooperate! I am officially sore!

twintwin2

hi hopefloatsinyyc. As a fellow Calgarian i just wanted to pop in and say hi to a neighbor! I hope you are doing well and i wish you and all the other ladies on this thread nothing but the best! I will be having surgery in a few days. Anxious but ready to get it done and move on to the next phase. All the best to you all!

Enerva

HI ladies. Twintwin welcome!

Just wanted to share a picture with all of you . I took my bicicle and went to a lake and a county sidea where I saw beautiful horses and sun set.

I did 15 km in bicicle and it made me happy

jazzygirl

Hi ladies- just wanted to say I am going off the radar for a few weeks. Wishing you all the best until we meet again.

Enerva

HI all

Jazz we will miss you but for sure you ll have all existing news and histories for us when you get back here.

Bb yes it was a great day but coming back I had a car accident in the high way sudent tráfic stopped and a car hit me on the back. Minimal Damage but the other car got mayor damages went to the police and reported it thanks g my insurance ll fix mine and I am not at fault so over all is good cuz it could have been worse.

Just when I thought the weekend was perfect.?

Hope every body is doing OK

Love u all

Simplicity

Evening ladies. Guess Jazz wasn't kidding. Hope it's a good 'off the grid'

Beautiful Enerva! I didn't get to see horses, but got to see some beautiful mountains, rivers, and put my feet in the river

BB, I know you do it out of a place of caring No worries here. You're just being a friend.

HopeFloats, nice to hear from you! Wow. I'm definitely not that energized lol I have run into complications from recon so everyone is, naturally, a bit more worried than normal, it's cause they loooovvvveeee me

Had a great night with E. Wasn't sure it was going to happen, but I mentioned it a month ago (and invited his kids-even offered to arrange a kayaking trip, just them and dad-nope, they didn't want to. whatever) We went up to Black mtn, and stayed at a hotel. Had the room above the carport? So no one above, or beside Drove through Lake Lure/Chimney Rock on the way home today. A beautiful night and enjoyed every minute since it may be a while.

Wound(s) are doing good. Abdomen looks awesome and another spot I'd say has decreased in size by at least half. Biggest wound is going to have to be debrided Tuesday That's gonna hurt and make the hole bigger *sigh*

Hope all have a good night

tsoebbin

HopeFloats.... How are your seromas? Did your BS aspirate or put drains back in?

Hopefloatsinyyc

drains originally pulled on day 6... Had small seromas by day 8, aspirated on day 9. (Didn't hurt at all thank God) and he got 35 and 40cc from each breast. (Pooled right below implant in the alloderm sling). Was told 50% chance we would have to do it again, but it's been fine since. The tiny bit of slowing I had afterward reabsorbed over a couple days.

Enerva

HI ladies sorry I haven't post all week. Ya bb pain in the a 's 's the accident but ya I was very lucky also it was not my fault so insurance ll fix the small damage. I am now in my bed so tire ll go to sleep .yesterday went for my long walk and boy it felt so good . But tired me up way more than I thought it could . Did some squats and legs exercises too. Rode a bicicle to work and school this week so I can say I am trying hard to get my body beach ready lol

Ya I had u all in mind too hope all OK.

Love uuu ll post when I wake up I need a nap but most likely ll fall sleep

Oh and got that poke man game on my phone cuz the kids at work are all playing and what an addition it is hahaha just play wile I am on my way to school and is kind of fun lol oh and to think I have never download a single game in my cell phone now I am hook lol

Enerva

bb I leave on August 12 I was painting today and I must say I am no impressed with oil painting is so hard look what I am painting.

Enerva

I guess not so bad to be my first lol but I am not loving it yet

Enerva

OK bb I try one with acrílic and I love it is much easy lol I just have no patience for oil here is the one I made today with acrílic.

Bb let me know ur opinion lol I now know u are an artist so tell me what do u prefer oil ? I guess I need classes in order to learn about patience with oil lol

Simplicity

I think they look beautiful Enerva.

Melp, Life, Hope, BB, Jazzy, and anyone else I forgot to mention, hope y'all have a good night.

Enerva

simplicity I hope you are getting better . So hard everything that is going on

Is mid night I have a hard time falling asleep cuz tmw one of my relatives has a surgery I'm vzla and I am worry just hoping he will be OK

One kideny is no working and the Dr ll try to save it but they may take it out . Surgery ll be 4 hours he is one of my sister 's husband . Well we all know vzla is in trouble so no a ideal place to be sick there is no medicine etc

Tmw by noon I should have some news

Hope you skin is healing now. Sending you a big hug

Night all

jazzygirl

Hi friends- just a quick hi and going off the radar again. I am back from the hot springs and here is a sunset picture for you.

Got follow up apts this week and will be back when that is all done.

Enerva

thanks for sharing jazz

Is beautiful we miss you

Hope all OK with follow up

jazzygirl

Thanks E, I start tomorrow and finish on Friday. At least I can do this without the pressure of the client site this week (off the whole week, yay!)

jazzygirl

All went fine at the imaging center today. Whew. Next will be two apts on Friday, one for the MO and Prolia shot, then a visit with the BS.

Hoping everyone here is doing okay.

jazzygirl

Good morning ladies- enjoying my week off and Wednesday already. I am heading to the dermatologist this am to get some skin tags removed, the last of my visits to the derm this year. Connecting later today with my friend who helped me through all the surgeries in 2012 and all the rest. We are going to the midweek farmers market to procure some fresh fruit and veggies and have a visit after.

The past few weeks were emotionally difficult for me. I lost my friend two weeks ago whom had the head cancer, and his daughters put together a lovely service and gathering last Friday. Between the visit before his passing, the waiting, and then all the rest, it just wiped me out. I am relieved to be through some of that, although I think of him every day and will for a long time. May he rest in peace, and I have comfort knowing he is now at peace on the other side.

E- I am so glad your vacation is coming up soon! My time off felt like it was forever to get to, and chances are you are counting the days now too. It will be good to spend some time in the tropical waters and visit with family.

Melp- been thinking of you sister and wondering how you are doing? I know your last check ups were good and hoping you are feeling okay as well?

Simplicity- I have been continuing to follow you on FB and know you are struggling to find your way back from recon and the whole thing. One of the things I wanted to share with you about coming to the other side of this is that it just takes much longer than you can realize to recover from this on every level- physically, emotionally, financially, etc. You had far more treatment than I did, but think it is still hard for everyone to find their way back.

And not everyone understands that we are not the same after this. There is a whole education process we do with others when we get our dx and go through treatment, then another part that comes after. I avoided a lot of people for awhile after treatment because I just had to do everything I could to get through work every day. Not that I suggest that for anyone, I just found it easier to keep my circle small so I could focus on just getting well. I had to learn to say 'not doing that anymore" or "not ready to try that yet" and many other things as I came through things. We have no frame of reference for our recovery time because cancer treatment is so different for each one of us. You are good at speaking your truth and also speaking up for yourself. Be kind to yourself and know you are doing the very best you can every day. You are a total fighter.

Hope- how are things going with your recovery? Did the activities in your neck of the woods come and go? Are you on to any more treatment? How are things with your ex? Is he still being helpful?

Finally, a photo of my new stacked hairstyle I got done yesterday. It has been so very hot here, and had to get rid of the hair on my neck as that area has a lot of heat/sweat and my hair has been soaked. So now it is off my neck and feeling a lot better.

Wishing you all a good day and will be back with any interesting news.

Hopefloatsinyyc

I'm doing ok- healing well relatively speaking. Met with MO today and will start AC on the 19th. Ex is still there for me- talked the other day about "what we are".... And both a greed we aren't in a position to be in a relationship right now but care deeply for the other. We are going to wine country the week before I start chemo, and meeting some of his family and just enjoying time together. Let's hope it goes well! Lol or I may be looking for a new chemo support person!

jazzygirl

BB- thank you. Sorry things are still hard sister. Hugs.

Hope- it is a good thing to both be on the same page about it not being a good time for a relationship. That takes the pressure off all the way around during a time neither of you need that, right? And hopefully he can continue to support you as a friend who is going through cancer treatment.

Spent some time with the friend who got me through my surgeries four years ago. Their family was fractured by a tragedy 15 years ago, but now a new life is coming through her daughter who was told she would likely never have children.

jazzygirl

melp27

That picture is lovely jazzy! Yeah physically im ok but my lymphadema is my biggest annoyance atm. Even though i wear my sleeve it still hurts. Had a big break late last year when I was first dx with Mets and its taking a while for the arm to get back after resuming massages about two months ago. Emotionally its still a struggle but im dealing with it better i think....

jazzygirl

Melp- sorry about the lymphedema issues. Do you have a .lymphemdema therapist?

jazzygirl

Good morning ladies- just wanted you to know that I am done with my 6 month follow ups and all is well.

BB- I wonder if you could not find a person to help sell your paintings vs. putting yourself in the place of doing it and having to deal with the no's? A a self employed consultant, I understand that very well and don't like the no's either, or the people that want to pay next to nothing for my services (for you, it would be the same for a too low price on your work). Do you know any other people who are painters and if they may know a broker? Maybe ask the galleries you visit for recommendations? I have no doubt there are people that do that line of work.

The hair cut should be low maintenance, just a little product and blow dry. I colored my roots yesterday, and will be doing a full foil with high lights and low lights in Oct before I go on my next real vacation (vs. my staycation this week).

I got my Prolia shot yesterday for bone health and a wee bit achy, so I will be laying low this weekend. I do plan to swim later today, which will feel good. We got some big rain last night so it is cooler starting out today.

Wishing everyone a nice weekend

jazzygirl

BB- my sister and I are doing a trip to NYC in October. We are going to also meet up with my nephew for part of the time, I have not seen him since 2009 as he has been in the military and is coming out of the Army this fall. Should be a great visit. I just found out about my nephew and am so thrilled to be able to see him in a few months.

Maybe you could go to the beach house just as friends? Time by the ocean would be lovely this time of the year. I find when I change my setting sometimes, things shift.....