Single life after a mastectomy

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Comments

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974
    edited July 2016

    BB- wow, that man sounds like he is kind and understanding, and interested.

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974
    edited July 2016

    BB- good realization! We tend to do what we know, even when what we did before did not work.

    What happened to the nice guy you were dating for awhile you said was less your type but you had fun with?

    I met a guy in my music class, and he seems interesting to me, but also shy and have had a hard time getting a conversation going with him. The class wraps up this week and we are having a little recital at the end, so we will see who shows up. He may have a girlfriend, or a wife, etc. I have only heard him talk about grandchildren so far. I am less looking for a real boyfriend but perhaps more music friends to do things with, including guy friends.

    I met my last boyfriend through a similar situation, which was really not a good experience for me. But I accept I am a different person now and might approach the whole thing differently with someone I wanted to get to know.


  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974
    edited July 2016

    BB- okay, that helps me to understand better. I have to be with someone who has depth to even be bothered.


  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974
    edited July 2016

    BB- anything can happen to any of us at any time, cancer or not. For people who have others living with them, they often have a pulse on things and are better prepared if something does. But for those of us that are single, we have to have things in order for whomever has to take over.

    You are reminding me of something my accountant talked to me about I need to update to be sure my sister has a list of all my account information and knows where important documents are, etc. Thank you for the reminder.

  • melp27
    melp27 Member Posts: 295
    edited July 2016

    yeah jazzy I do have a lymphadema therapist. I am going to have some laser treatments on the arm. Have been told that it helps with pain.

    There is no cure so its a case of managing it... ScaredScared

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974
    edited July 2016

    Melp- that is great they have laser treatments to help. The L is one of the worst SEs of breast cancer treatment. I watch for it carefully as I know it can crop up any time through the years. Sorry to hear you have pain too. Hugs sister.

  • Enerva
    Enerva Member Posts: 2,985
    edited August 2016

    ladies just stoping by to share a horrible thing that happened to me today :(

    I was taking the metro at noon to go fast to my apt to pick up my car ownership cuz I need to change my address which I haven't done yet.

    So u won't imagine what happened :( wile I waited for the metro a person jumped right there a person who was standing next a few meter's from me :(

    I am still chocked and confused

    Why why did I have to be there at that precise moment :(

    Don't worry I ll be OK

    Just sad and honestly not sure what is happening how a 35 year old man takes his life like that. When so many are fighting to keep there lives?

    Good night

    Love u all

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974
    edited August 2016

    E- am I understanding this right? Someone jumped on the tracks in front of a train while you were standing there? That is horrible E, I am so sorry you had to be a witness to that.

  • Enerva
    Enerva Member Posts: 2,985
    edited August 2016

    I know :( it really mess me up I was not able to sleep just thinking about the fact that I was there but not sure why . The person never make any contact not even eye contact so there was no way to suspect anything there were 4 of us in that platform area a sinior couple me and the man. Yes it was horrible not sure how to come to term's with it. :(

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974
    edited August 2016

    E- I am glad you are getting out of dodge for a few weeks to spend time with your nephews. Seems like it has all been too much there this year with the moving challenges, and all the rest.

    Please don't feel bad that you did not know what this person was thinking to do or that you could have somehow prevented it. This person clearly felt so much pain that opting out was the only choice he/she had at that moment. How awful for anyone standing there, and for the friends and family of this person too.

    Hugs sister, get packing your bags and off to spend time in Mexico. You will be there very soon.

  • Enerva
    Enerva Member Posts: 2,985
    edited August 2016

    yes bb my bag is ready .tmw I ll drop off my car to get fix and then ll go to school my exams are next week :(

    Yes I can't wait to go but right now there is a bad storm heading to cancun

    Here is the picture

    image

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974
    edited August 2016

    Hi friends- working from home today and survived my re-entry week, although I have not been feeling that great. The SE's from my Prolia shot were a bit delayed this time and had me not feeling great during the week, but think they are finally over. Just tired from the whole ride this week.

    E- I have a music friend who is in Cancun and posting about the storm. I hope it moves on through before you go. You have another week to go and exams to get through and then will be on your way. You so need this vacation.

    Hope- how goes it for you? What is the next step for your treatment?

    BB- how is your back doing? Have you seen either of your boys recently?

    Simplicity- continuing to watch your posts on FB and hoping you are doing okay at the end of this week. Did you go back to work yet?

    Melp- how are you doing? Did your friends end up getting settled down about things and all you are going through? Friends can be awesome support or so totally disappointing. How is the L?

    I am thinking about others like June, Milky, Life and Lily and hope everyone is doing okay. Wishing you all a good weekend. Summer is going quickly now here in the US. Kids start back to school here next week.

  • Enerva
    Enerva Member Posts: 2,985
    edited August 2016

    well I must say I am super happy to be free from work. I was told I ll be move to another building so I packed my desk before I left .yes I am very excited to finally go off the radar work is just hell.

    Jazz yes the storm passed and all should be clear I hope lol I am counting the days. I dropped off my car yesterday and today still didn't get a clear pictures as per when it ll be done .

    I will clean my apt that has been neglected for days I ll organize so I can focus on understanding my problem for the exams . I am hopping I pass these 2

    I am also happy cuz my period started to show up and that means I may be free from that nasty thing on my vacation lol

    Other than that is very hot and humid here in toronto these days . Regarding the horrible accident at the metro I must say I am still Un easy like I realize I am very sensitive like in the street if there is any sudent noise or something I jump and I am not like that so I did realized I am a bit nervous inside not sure how to discrive it.

    I am just like as is something bad ll happen I am just so dry inside and so anxious to leave Canada that I wish I could go to the airport right now lol

    Anyway I ll post some more later after I clean the huracanes in my apt lol

    Love u all

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974
    edited August 2016

    E-glad you have your break from work now. Good luck studying for the tests and getting the car back. You need to tell the people fixing it you are going out of town for awhile and need it back by next week. They won't want a fixed car sitting around and not getting their money.

    Can you get out to that lake you enjoy and go for a walk this weekend now that you have some space and before your trip? I find being in nature and around water is comforting during times of distress.

    Wishing an easy time before you head to warm sunny beaches and time with family soon.

  • Enerva
    Enerva Member Posts: 2,985
    edited August 2016

    HI bb thanks

    I promise I ll post so many pictures from my trip and I ll post every night wile I am there yes it is a well deserved holiday I am so exhausted and I just want to be with family and laugh and enjoy no think about work. I decided no to take my lab top I am not going to log in forget it lol

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974
    edited August 2016

    E- good to leave the technology at home and take a break from the whole thing from work to social media and all the rest. You will get good rest and time with family soon and know it will help you to feel better. I am so glad you made plans to do this.

    BB- sounds like a difficult time for you right now. Sending you love.

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974
    edited August 2016

    image

  • melp27
    melp27 Member Posts: 295
    edited August 2016

    hi jazzy - the l is still troublesome. My friend actually messaged me the other day and has organised for us to talk with another female in the group. She only invited the other person so i would know all of the nastiness isnt just coming from her...weird it will be 2 against me hardly seems fair!!

    Apart from that physically Im going ok :)

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974
    edited August 2016

    Melp- I agree with BB. These women seem to be bringing you unnecessary drama and self absorption. I was hoping they would grow up a bit in this situation and get on board with what is going on for you. Having been through a lot of hard times in life, including some when I was closer to your age, I know people just cannot always get it that some things require seriousness and everything else just needs to fall away. Cancer is one of those things.

    Sometimes letting go of people is a process too. We try to make them understand but you can come to a place where you realize they just don't have compassion or empathy. I avoid people like that regularly now.

    Here is a balloon or two that was cruising through my backyard this morning on a lovely cool August morning!

    image

  • Simplicity
    Simplicity Member Posts: 723
    edited August 2016

    Morning ladies. I've been keeping up, just staying in the background :( Having lots of healing issues.

    Jazz, so sorry to hear of your friend. Hugs.

    Enerva, omg, I cannot even imagine. So sorry you had to witness that. Everyone you know make it through the storm ok?

    BB, hang in there. Did you ever go to your sisters?

    Melp, ugh, that is a big fear of mine. And there seems to be no standard as to what causes it where movement or lack of are concerned.

    HopeFloats, Think I saw a check in from you. Hope you are doing well!

    Life?

    Apologies if I missed anyone else :P I've been discombobulated Ha

    So my wound. ugh. Per Dr I went off the antibiotics last Tuesday. 48hours later my wounds are showing signs of infection again :( I was so angry/upset. They won't refill my anti biotics. They say more information has recently come out about the dangers of pro longed antibiotic use. I have areas that are healed, but once the anti biotics stopped, they started seeping again.

    He offered to go in, clean out the main wound, and seal it closed. That idea, I am not comfortable with that idea at all. Not the way my body is behaving.

    One of my Oncology nurse friends said she has seen Bactrim (antibiotic) actually lower WBC? Makes no sense, but my body never has. It has a history of strange things.

    They may refer me to an infectious disease specialist :( idk. I go back tomorrow. I don't like that title. Scary in itself but I guess they're wound specialists too. UGH. SO tired of all this.

    Hope all have a good day.

  • Simplicity
    Simplicity Member Posts: 723
    edited August 2016

    Yep, sometimes our closest friends/family are toxic and we just have to walk away. Easier to say than do. I know. A necessary thing sometimes for our own well being.

  • melp27
    melp27 Member Posts: 295
    edited August 2016

    I don't want to lose them despite everything. Because im shy its hard to make new friends. For 90% of the time i have known them they have been nice people..

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974
    edited August 2016

    Simplicity- thanks for your thoughts about my friend who passed. Feeling better now that the services have passed. I do think about him every day.

    Wound centers are really good place to get help with incisions that won't heal and get repeatedly infected. The hospital I do work for has one and they are very good. When I had my open abdominal surgery in 2012, there were problems with my incision healing and a visiting nurse helped me through that, but think yours has been long enough you do need a wound specialist.

  • Enerva
    Enerva Member Posts: 2,985
    edited August 2016

    ladies good morning hope all OK.

    Well I must tell you this morning I woke up with so much discomfort in my right breast (radiation side) that I took my phone and called my ps to make an appointment. He ll see me septiembre 13th .

    I figure a year passed and it is time to fight for my 3rd surgery. Yes I wish I didn't have to but I have so much disconfort I feel the internal scars are just out of control my right breast 's nipple is always contracted and I got burning every day I massage and put creams and it does no help on top of that there is no simetry the nipple is going toward the out side looking to my arm . I am so worry about simplicity I see all she is going through I just can't imagine . Just feel like yeasterday we were all pushing for her surgery to happen and now this :(

    I must say I prefer the implants route but off course simplicity had radiation . Which I did too but I received rad with an expander in place so this Dr took a different approach . I over all am thankful for my good luck but I must say radiation side effects when it comes to implants is a beatch I wish I live in USA I see there is a new technic there where they take fat from anywhere in your body then transfer and fill in the entire sac I saw a surgery in YouTube a lady got a full C with her on fat. Why is Canada always so behind in resources ? When we give so much to our breast cancer hospitals u have no idea how much is involved. Anyway I ll fight for my 3rd surgery I am sick and tire of been push off as if I am not important cuz I am a bom which can explode any time. They are saying I may get cancer again so why fix me fff them I ll tell them how I feel. I ll not take a no this time. Last year when he said let's wait another year to wait for it to get worse. I looked at him and say wow so u all waiting for me to be worse in order to help ? He said there are woman in worse situation which we must attention to first so yes u must wait another year. So here I come time is up. I ll walk in and as soon as he ask me what is up I ll say I am here to schedule my next surgery. I can't take this rad scars any longer.

    For u to see where my nipple is going here is a pictures. I know this is nothin compared to what simplicity is having now I believe me I don't want to make her feel bad . My problem is so small compare to what u are deligible with girlfriend I have faith it ll be treat it soon I wish I could be close to give you some kind of help. With me is more the burning the implant is been push and it has no where to go so it burns every day :(

    Here is a pictures u see what I mean

    image

    image

    So the part that burns the most is the side where the skin is trying to acomodate the implant and the side under my arm is all hard like a rock it feels like my original tumor :( is uder the skin

  • Enerva
    Enerva Member Posts: 2,985
    edited August 2016

    melb I am with bb and jaz and simplicity I wish u didn't see those bad friends they are in mature no good for u :(

    They have no respect or value for your friendship

  • Simplicity
    Simplicity Member Posts: 723
    edited August 2016

    :( Goodness Enerva. I hope he listens to you. Get so angry at these Dr's. Act like we don't know our own bodies.

    Thank you. I will be ok. Been very busy and don't want to post in my surgery thread because there's so many newbies in there and I don't want to scare them.

    Back to work. Well, have been really, but full/half/full/half/full days. First week back the whole week and now have to head to the Dr's again tomorrow. bleh

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974
    edited August 2016

    E- I am sorry about the problems with your breast. You need to get things fixed to deal with the discomfort. This whole recon thing seems to be so tricky on so many levels. I have several friends who had double bmx and no recon and said they won't do anything more. These women are older and so it is different for them. Every woman needs to do what is right for her.

    Simplicity- I hope you can get through work, especially with these incision issues. Concerns for you friend. That wound clinic can be your best friend.

    I am going to see my PCP tomorrow for my other check up. Also have an apt with an endocrinologist in Sept to help with weight loss issues. The doctors want me to loose weight and yet all the drugs they put me on cause me to not be able to. I eat very little exercise, and have a very hard time taking it off. My MO and I had a long talk about it and he said this doctor has been successful with helping other patients loose weight, including his cancer patients that need to like me. He said it will take awhile and said I may only loose a few pounds up to 5 a month, but that is okay too. Whenever I start loosing, I drop a few and then nothing. So frustrating. We begin figuring this one out in the next month.

  • Enerva
    Enerva Member Posts: 2,985
    edited August 2016

    yes simplicity I posted my pictures here cuz I also don't post anywhere else but you guys are my rock. I am very very angry at what is going on with you :( me I was told about the rad side effects and yes I got them all but I am a fighter I tell these Dr how it is even if they don't like it lol

    Last year I was having many issues at work and could not deal with having another surgery but now with the burning and the soreness I say enough is enough I ll push to go under the nife again it may give me releave for another 2 years and well that's good enough for me since I feel I don't even know how many years I have left BTW I have always a feeling c ll come back and take me so I see life 1 or 2 years at the time now. No matter what my family or anyone says is something inside that makes me feel that way. Maybe cuz my sister and brother lost the fight to c no sure why but I am OK with that so I was so sad this morning where the burning woke me up that I said to myselfOK call and get a date to fight lol

    Oh also don't feel bad for what I ll say now is not a big deal lol but is my birthday today lol I don't really celebrate it anymore so no need to feel bad u didn't know . But my brother says we ll celebrate big on Saturday ha ha ha he says for all the years I never celebrate it we will now. Lol can't believe I am 43 now :( I feel it was yesterday I was 19 coming to this country

    Anyway love u all

    Good night

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974
    edited August 2016

    E- I know you are not into the birthday thing, but felt I wanted to wish you a good one just the same. Making it another year to me is a big deal now. You have given yourself a nice birthday gift with this upcoming trip.

    image

  • Enerva
    Enerva Member Posts: 2,985
    edited August 2016

    ha ha ha thanks jazz well only 2 more days

    I will have my exam tmw then get out of here Friday.

    Hope you guys are having a better week

    Good night