Single life after a mastectomy
Comments
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Well, at least yours has finished more quickly than mine, Bdavis. Glad to hear you made progress. :-) I was wondering how you've been doing. You might've noticed that we're all worried about Enerva - we haven't heard from her in a bit of time.
Jazzy & everyone: Count me in - It's a great idea for us all to encourage each other in healthy eating and fitness. I have to say, though, since I don't drink, smoke, or have a boyfriend, sweets have been my only indulgence. But, I guess it's time to find a healthier alternative.
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Here's to moving forward BD!!! Yeah!
I walked 4 miles on Sunday. Worked my 12 hours yesterday. I was good until I got home from work. Instead of going for a walk I sat down and munched.
One of the little changes I need to make.
Milky, I need to go through my closet too. So many clothes in all the wrong sizes. Feels good to purge, now to get around to it.
I am still waffling about the kitten. But have some time as they have to stay with Momma for at least 6 weeks.
I follow this site for recipes (among many)
Some good recipes. Let me know what you think. I have tried more than a dozen from her site.
Piper
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BB, I cannot imagine how frustrating it is to deal with something for years and years.
Since you mentioned that you are eating mostly salads.....Here is one of my favorite dressing recipes from the site I included this morning.
I do not like commercial dressings. I usually use vinegar and oil, but love when I find a dressing that can make a salad explode.
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bossum blues why it is taking so long for divorce is there many issues to b solved.more time means you must b spending more money any tip? I heard going to court is very expensive
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BB... I am sorry you have continued problems. I am hoping that I have a seamless entry into single-hood. I waived alimony and other things in exchange for the house, so that topic is one that will not be a conflict. My husband will have to pay me for three years for child support, and share in the cost of any medical expenses for our son as they arise. Plus, he is keeping me on his medical insurance until next July, when Obamacare will force small businesses to insure part time employees. At that time, we will divorce.
As I know how distracted I have been lately, I am sure that Enerva is also distracted with everything in her life. Are you all concerned for her safety?
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Bd, Glad you have a solid sep/divorce plan. 2 of us have tried to contact E outside of BCO and have yet to hear from her...so a little concerned.
If she somehow found a way to travel to be with her sissy, then it would make sense that she cannot contact us because I do understand that the use of social media can be very spotty in her country. She never indicated she had solid plans to travel. I know she had her last big exam and we were waiting to hear how she did. Perhaps she just needed a break as we all do at times. Or we get busy and don't have a chance to log on.
Sending out my warm thoughts and big hugs to E......Miss you GF.
Since you went to the market yesterday BB, what did you nibble on for dinner? Sounds like you are eating very raw and healthy..which is great.
I went for a walk yesterday, which turned into a run. It was evening so I am better then when no one can gawk at me....LOLOL
Anyhow, I have been having a hard time running because of my allergies and probably issues just pacing my breathing too. I ran on the treadmill over the winter but it doesn't really translate well for me to the pavement. I want to do some 5ks this summer but have yet to sign on for any.
I am happy to say I walked the first mile and was able to run 2 miles. I do have an incentive because my health insurance is having a home run for heath challenge. For every 10,000 steps you get a 'homerun'. They will have give aways and you get health credits which lowers the deductible. So far I have @ 26000 steps since it started about 9 or 10 days ago.. No where near where I should be, but a start.
Now to get the extra pounds off. I am going to make some veggie soup today and salad. I know it's warmer now but if I have a light soup to grab I will be less likely to grab something else. I know the one thing I am not good with is drinking water. Maybe we should start with a simple water challenge
My flooring is getting dropped off this afternoon-to be installed next week. I need to go vacuum downstairs and move my couch so the guys can place the materials in my living room.
Have a great day ladies
xoxoxoxoxoxo piper
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You are right. But I do not remember her throwing out a start date. Like it's my business. LOL!
I just thought your text or an email from me would have prompted a reply to let us know she is ok. Oh the world of technology. We really do want our quick responses.
But, I think it is also understandable that we have concerns too.
anywho...
Hope she has a great big laugh at our incessant worrying
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Hi ladies- just a quick hi before I head to bed. I went with a friend in her 30s (I am in my 50s) to a reggae concert last night. I am into all kinds of music, always had been but this was my first pure reggae concert. It was Stephen Marley, son of Bob who had many children (with lots of women as I understand....) Anyways, the concert was GREAT and Stephen looks and sounds SO much like his father, I swear when I closed my eyes, I thought he was channeling the man. I was definately and "oldster" for that crowd but did not care. Another one off my bucket list!
Funny thing that happened on the way to the rest room is a 20 something year old guy starting flirting with me. That place had some great lighting in it! Cracked me up!
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Ok, well, it's Thursday, and I haven't lost a single ounce of weight.
But, at least I haven't gained weight. One day, the rain will stop, and I'll be permitted to go walking. That might help.
Bd - Nice that your husband was reasonable and sensible enough to accept that offer.
Glad everyone else here is continuing to do well, but I hope we hear from E soon. I have to say: There's another website I used to visit every day, but I've been too busy and haven't even dropped in for at least a month. So, E might be in the same situation. Another possibility could be computer problems - that happened to me a few times, too - although it doesn't explain why there was no response to the text message. (We really are a group of worried mothers, aren't we?)
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Little humor for my single friends here. Enjoy!
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BB- good to hear you are stepping out. Hopefully the friend you spend time with will be good for you. My friends have had to get used to the fact I don't drink much (keep it to 2-3 drinks per week per the MO's recommendations). I have had to just tell people that this is what I need to do to take care of my health and to keep my reoccurrence risk down. Most of them get it once I have explained this to them. I encourage them to enjoy their cocktails.
I hope you can enjoy some good food and a few good laughs too!
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BB - Sounds great that you are going out with your new curly hair. :-) I remember how baby-soft mine was when it first grew in. Like you, I always wore my hair long, but after the chemo took it, and it first grew in, I came to love it short. Like you, I felt like a warrior. People do notice when we project that kind of self-confidence, too. I didn't plan to ever let my hair grow long again. But, it is long again - I need a haircut. Enjoy the baby-soft curly hair. :-)
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She's 52 and looks 20? That did it - I'm going to try yoga and meditation, too. (lol) In all seriousness, I did try a class in Qi Gong once. It just didn't work for me, so I never went back. Glad you found something that works for you, BB.
Have a good night, everyone. (To Enerva - Hope all is well!)
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BB- yes, do tell us more about your yoga and meditation class. I have been doing yoga for 15 years now, just love it and although I am 54 (I won't say I look like I am in my 20s), yoga is really so good for your body on so many levels. I really missed it when I could not do yoga for awhile after my surgeries in 2012.
Oh and some very religious types sometimes have a very different perception of what yoga really is. I work with a woman who is very Christian and she asked me about my yoga and if we "chanted". I said sometimes, depends on the teacher and I said some of the yogi's have chants in Sanskrit or chant the sounds of the chakras. She looked at me like I was summoning up the devil himself. She did not get it at all!
I am trying to get back into meditation too, and getting up and out on my patio in the morning to "listen." I find I have a better day when I do!
You go girl!
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On occasion a little "tapping" can be easy. I don't do it often, but this morning I did it and feel vastly more relaxed. I focused a lot around my eyes as I feel so tired too. It is a great distraction.
http://www.thetappingsolution.com/what-is-eft-tapp...
I also have broken off seashells that have become smooth over the years of being tossed around in the ocean. I have one in my car, purse, nightstand to rub when I get a little anxious.
I do remember when a woman down the street (she had a young daughter who has Downs Syndrome) used to do some meditation with us kids. We would lay in the front yard with our eyes closed and she would softly speak about nature and senses. It was more like guided imagery. The more relaxed and focused on the images the greater the experience. I loved it. But i think it wigged out a few parents. Being the 70's....lol and our parents were products of a much earlier time.
Hope everyone has a great weekend. off to clean. Flooring getting installed next week and I am watching my sissys kiddos in between my work days. Looks like a beautious day here in SWPA!!! YEAH!!
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Hi, sorry i have been gone for a month . i was not able to log in. well i got home last night. my sister surgery is finally going to be done next week with no more chemo. the tumor did not respond to the first 2 chemo and a new tumor started to grow. I am glad i went and i argued till the dr schedule an ultrasound then saw that there was no positive response so now surgery and the Rad.
i am so tire i did not pass the exam i guess it was too much in my mind trying to travel and all so now i am back to studying my rewrite is on June 14. Also have the appointment with the plastic surgeon on May 27 so hoping for good news. i will go back o catch up with all of the post. i am sure you were worry i am sorry i got a flight last minute and took off i wont do that again. i am all so tired and hoping my sister gets the attention she needs from her onco. Since i met him a few times. i brought him my chart so he could see the history and stop playing games. 0 -
Ok i have read this last page i see you were all so worry and i apologize i was not able to email or msg from there the communication is cut off from there the internet goes down and i was stressed running from doctor to doctor seen second opinion for my sister and arranging so she could have surgery asap. My bad luck does not end there wile i was there an cyst was found on my other sister s breast so i also took care of those appointments. Anyhow both sisters will have surgery one next week and the other one the first week of June. i came back last night and the level of tiredness and stress was overwhelming this morning i could not move from my bed. i am glad to be back yet at the same time i am worry. my own appointment is this week. and i start work this June so who knows whats next ;(
i will keep readying now to know what had happen to all of you.
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Glad to hear from you Enerva... yes, everyone was worried.
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Enerva- I am glad you got down to see your sister. And sorry to hear about your other sister's cyst too. I had a feeling you had gone to Venezuela, knowing you were trying to go after your test.
I am sorry she is not responding better to the treatment. I am sure you being there helped everyone.
I hope you get some rest and welcome back to the thread. You were missed, but we are glad to know you are okay. You need to get rested up and let us know how the apt goes this week.
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WB Enerva.................
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Enerva - Welcome back. Glad to hear that you were able to help your sisters. We figured you'd gone to help your family. There's no need to apologize! You were posting here very often, so when you stopped, we all became worried. Now we know better. :-)
I'm surprised to hear that chemo sometimes has no effect at all on BC tumors. I know of that happening with other types of cancer, but I thought the science was further along for BC. I guess I was wrong. (I really don't know if the chemo had any effect on my own cancer because I had the MX before chemo.)
Glad to hear you're doing OK.
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BB- I can relate to that constant state of alert. I find some things I should take better in stride I don't anymore. I think everyone gets some level of PTSD going through this. Your observations are right on.
Stepping away for a few days for some time up north. Wishing everyone a good duration of the weekend.
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Enjoy your weekend, Jazzy.
BB - I never had an oncotype done. Because the tumor was stage 2, I had to have chemo. My onc hit me with everything she had. She said, if it comes back, at least I'll know I've done everything possible.
Everyone, enjoy your weekend!
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Hi ladies thanks for thinking of me, i woke up better today i wad in a tired state the first two days of been back i had not good sleep wile i was home and as soon as i hit my bed i just felt i could never get up from it lol I lost around 4 bls and i feel weak i had a throat infection before i went home and i got it wile i was there. Now this morning i feel its back. It only confirms my immune system is down ;( tmw i see the plastic surgeon and i am so nervous cuz i fell he maybe turn me down once again ;( some how i am not strong or positive anymore ;( . wish me luck i am now studying for the exam which is also making me sad i failed it. I got a call from my ex saying he is in town and will like to see me. I sent him a text saying i am feeling kind of down so if he can see me just to hang out and give me some moral support then he is welcome. I have a feeling its a mistake but i do miss having someone to just tell me all can be ok one day. what do you ladies think?
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Oh i forgot to say Thanks for the Chanming s picture lol i miss him a lot. havent seen any movie with him on it in a long time.
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Bb, u are so right i am just like you, but i know i wont let my ex see my new body ;( even if i think he wont be bother by it. He is a great guy when it comes to intimacy and has kept in touch with me hopping i let him in my life again but the truth is that he is not capable of loving me, real love. i am a romantic i need the man who is caring and calls just to see how my day went or just to say good night. This man he is sweet in bed but in public he acts as if you are not with him lol i never know what he really felt for me, he was cheated on by a girl and she ended up married to his cousin. I think he never got over that and he now has not trust for woman. I do care about him but i am too old now to waist more time with someone who is never ready to commit. Its sad cuz we like each other and never argue or disagree on things but the lack of attention on his part always bothered me. I will meet him for dinner if he calls tonight. if not then forget it. i want to focus on my next surgery now.
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Enerva & BB - Your last two posts sound so similar to my experiences with men. Indeed, some really are master manipulators, and it seems that's the only type I've ever met. :-( Enerva - I hope your friend will be supportive and good to you, whatever you decide to do.
I am absolutely livid right now. I found out the soon-to-be-ex did something that is just maddening, so I went walking to try to clear my head. I'm also feeling sad thinking about how my life has turned out, worrying about my sons, etc. Times will get better for all of us - I hope - but for now, the days are difficult.
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BB- your yoga class sounds very new age. I have dabbled in just about everything through the years so I know of many things you shared from your experience. I do believe yoga and meditation can heal. I know many believe the crystals and other metaphysical things can heal. As long as it is helping, hopefully you can continue and benefit from it.
Meditation does teach you how busy your thoughts are and how to quiet them. Have been back to it lately myself, and doing better as a result.
Enerva- not sure what the dynamics are with your ex, but I think you are up front about your needs and if he can show up and be a friend/support, then maybe do something in a neutral environment so you won't feel any pressure and can get up and leave if it becomes uncomfortable. Cup of coffee in your favorite coffee shop is a nice safe place to meet someone when you are uncertain of the interactions that may follow.
Back from Santa Fe. Museums, good food, great conversation and some shoe shopping! Back home and gearing up for the work week. Hope everybody had a good weekend!
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BB- for you (and me) and everyone everywhere.
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BB- I don't think I am adhd, but always need to be moving forward. It has been the coping skill that has always gotten me through the worst of times. But trust me, I am not always together and have it figured out. Breast cancer just taught me to live more fully as best I can. And I do have lots of diverse interests!
My advice for Enerva comes from my own personal experience. Ex's sometimes want to see us for more than a casual conversation. I never let them come over to my house. It takes the potential of them making a move when I am not ready out of the equation. And if the conversation goes on the wrong direction, you just say you need to run. Sort of like when you meet someone new with on line dating and you find you need to make a quick get away. It took me years to learn how to not put myself at risk with men. Live and learn and all that jazz!
Hope everyone has a good week with whatever you are heading into.....
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