Single life after a mastectomy
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Ok girls i leave u alone fir a few days and now i have to catch up lol i am trying to study for my exam tomw at 9 am!
will write back afer done 
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Hi single ladies- doing some picking up before the cleaning company comes shortly. Busy week and I feel tired here on this friday afternoon. Once they come and go, and I get some things done for work, I am going to take a nap!
Piper- you and I are kindred spirits on the relationship front. I have never been married either and relationships to me, whatever they look like, should enhance your life. Many describe me as a "free spirit", others as too picky, several still ask when I am going to get married (I am 54). But in the US, women don't "need" to be married as they do in some cultures. We have our families, friends, work and homes.
I have never had good luck with men being supportive during the difficult times in my life (of which there have been plenty). I was not with anyone when I went through bc diagnosis and treatment. Everyone said "oh you have to go through this alone." I was not alone, I had plenty of support from friends and the ladies here on BCO. I love the idea of a partner who can share life's celebrations and tough times. Just have not found that person yet.
I am glad you are meeting your friend on Sunday! No doubt you are nervous but keep it light and friendly and see where he is at these days. Then you can decide where you want to take it from there. Remember you are in the drivers seat about what you want now in your new normal! You go girl!
Enerva- good luck on the test, let us know how you are doing!
BB- I hope you are having a good day!
Hi to all the others here too!
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Happy Friday Ladies!!!
sandpiper - too funny!!!! my man friend and I are going to start learning yoga together - got to send him that picture - it so says it all..!!
Hope you all have a good weekend!!
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Gotta, welcome.....I am in my running pants....drinking wine......that is so cool your man is willing to explore yoga with you. When I did the yoga and yarn event last year there were tons of guys of all ages. Seriously those men who doubt have yet to see their lady friend in the downward dog
OOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKK
It is so nice to "see: some fresh faces here.
E...I think I am fresh outta Channing, Pics....I am so under pressure to find you an appropriate (or not) pic for when you PASS your next exam......Is this 2 of 3 or the last. I have lost track. UGH! How is your sissy and how are you feeling?????
Jazzy...........exactly.
Ladies here is to moving onward and upward and forward.
I am no expert at what I am going to say, but I do believe loving ourselves and being who we are without reservation is the most treasured gift we can give ourselves.
*CLINK*
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Piper
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Love love love
TY
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My dearest E-"You've got this girl"
Keep calm and rock that exam!
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BB 72000 $ is very expensive divorce
Enerva i cant have legal aid my husband is physician i have car on my name its very hard after 2 cancer n recon again another battle is ready for me .i want to face this last episode as soon as possible .i have to raise 3 teenagers alone.he left me when i needed the emotional support.
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MW
I do not live in Canada. Not sure how much research you have done, however, it seems you might need some guidance from a professional. Most in the US do preliminary advice sessions.I found a website for you, if you haven't found this already. Looks like a very good place to start looking into the process of separation/divorce etc.
Good Luck.
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Ok Sand Thanks i am in Canada but i am not well inform as per divorces or legal stuff. Milky i wish you good luck, sending you hugs.
I finally did the exam #3 this morning. I am so tired and i am not sure if i passed it turned out very intense or maybe its my brain lol as soon as i find out i will let you all know. I need a nap now, i havent been sleeping well and now that the exam is out of the way i feel as if i can sleep for several days lol
I will now say i am happy for you guys meeting your love ones from the past. I wish i could have that chance too. I cant help to notice we all have that in common at some point we made a decision in our love life maybe due to been young and not ready. in my case it happen when i turned 19. i let go of whom i thought was my soul mate then a year later he marry and now he is happy with 3 beautiful kids. We reconected around 5 years ago and it was such a joy to read his letters then we both decided to lose contact for good since we know its too late and life took us separate ways. i strongly think after that man i have never found true love and it could be just that love nocked on my door and i didnt answer and after that its just not going to happen. ;( Anyway i am exited to hear how does it turn out for you girls
)) keep us posted if thing work out do not forget aboit us. We are family here now ha ha ha 0 -
Sand, I couldn't have said that better!
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Sand, I hope you have a good time tomorrow. Thanks for the yummy pic...
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thanks sandpiper1for the helpful site its very informative.
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Milkyway - I'm in the same position right now: My husband left, is living with someone else, and I'm raising three teens. $72,000 is about right for a divorce lawyer. Other women and men I know I are paying around the same or even more. Here in the U.S., we have legal aid, too, but they only talk with you - they don't represent you in court. I don't know how it works in Canada. As of now, I don't have a divorce lawyer. We're trying to work things out through mediation.
BB - I have pined for someone, too, and I believed I'd never stop missing him or thinking about him. But, eventually, little by little, I began to remember the things I didn't like about the guy. After our breakup, we talked a few more times, and I really began wondering what I ever saw in him in the first place. I've concluded that I must've been out of my mind. ;-)
On the other hand, there was a man I met once when I was young and single. That's right, two decades later, I still think about someone I met only once. We both were stranded, and we spent the whole night sitting and talking, and our time together turned romantic. When it was time to go our separate ways, he gave me his address and asked me to write. He said he hoped I'd write and that he'd come to visit me. He looked sad when we said goodbye. I never wrote to him. Since then, I've always questioned that decision. Has anyone here ever seen the movie "Before Sunrise" with Ethan Hawke? When I watched it, I could totally relate. I'm sure we've all met one person at some point, only to let that person go, and then later questioned that decision.
Enerva - I hope the test went well.
All - I hope you're all doing well.
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Good night, have a great weekend or Sunday
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Good night sweet ladies and restful dreams......
Will report in soon...........
meeting scheduled for early evening.....Ohio bound!
skeered, excited and skeered........shoot
jump in my pocket girls-need reinforcement
off to do some "yoga"
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Piper
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Piper- have fun today!
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Hate to disappoint the group.....
Not to mention how disappointed I and my friend are, but the plans were delayed.
Long story short, his sister asked him to give her a break and be with their Dad today. His mother is in the hospital (rehab).
He had to do the right thing and beg out of our plans. I almost cried. Kept a brave front. As did he. Just sucks. Apparently he has his 11yo daughter just about every weekend. Almost never gets adult time and The good thing is we talked things out. We both will feel better if he is there for his dad today......
Life isn't easy. Some days I feel like I am the poster child for Murphys Law. Yep. I am feeling sorry for myself. However. My sister invited me out for dinner. Always good to see my little folks.
Maybe next Sunday. At the very least I feel like our communication is getting better.
I do hope everyone is having a nice day......
Ha E. No getting rid of me yet......
TY ladies and bunches of hugs to all for being here, saying the right words to each other and supporting the highs and lows.
Luv ya!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Piper
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Piper- so sorry to hear the plans were delayed. A man who spends time with a dad in the hospital is a good man. I hope you can reschedule soon and glad you have plans for something else today. Disappointing, but it is not over girlfriend!
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LMAO BB. That was the second thing I said...."at least I didn't have to SHAVE!" My sister said I could come to her house for dinner w/o doing the 'Date Shave'
Saved by the bell. Agreed Jazz and I told him we would both have more respect for each other if doing the right thing took precedence over our plans. Really bad timing his sister decided today she needed a break. They all need a break. Just happens that college man cannot give breaks any other day but Sunday.
I enjoyed my evening with my fam. Even my son tagged along for the ride and of course the babies (they will always be my 'babies') were so excited to see their favorite cousin. Awesomeness..........
LOL, BB......seems to be the other way around.........you all are stick with me for sometime to come......
Luv you all..........
sweet dreams
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Hi ladies- I know some of you here have been struggling with employment issues, so I thought I would share this. This was on our local news today and it speaks to women who have gone through bc treatment, especially chemotherapy, and the effects on employment for the longer term. Sobering statistics and as I have often noted, the medical community is not all that sensitive to the financial realities for patients. There are plenty of statistics around bankrupcies due to unexpected health issues. You are not alone.
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jazz - thanks for the link. I think the research reflected the reality clearly.
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BB- life is very hard for single women with kids. I have watched many of my single friends go through bad divorces like the women on this thread, the families struggle financially because the men don't pay up, etc.
What I loved about your post is what he said "home is where the heart is and it will always be with you and the dog." That young man knows where love lives. You should feel proud of that. Very heart warming.
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No messages on this thread for five days...? I hope all of you are out enjoying life to the fullest.
Warmer weather is right around the corner. Just remember to check-in here once in a while!
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Hi ladies- hope everyone is doing okay. I am doing a system go live for my project and it starts today, so I am "heading into the fray", as I like to call it. I have a 12 hour shift in a command center tomorrow and then work four more days with 9 hour shifts until Friday, when I am off. It will be this way for the next three weeks. So I am laying low, taking care of things at home, and getting rested up.
Will check in with you during one of my days off! Until then, keep taking good care of yourselves and enjoy the spring.
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BB - You should find that life is getting better and better for you, especially now that the treatments are over and you can spend time on yourself. You're going to feel great as your hair grows. Right now I need a serious haircut, and I have 10 pounds to lose. (Back when I was having treatments, I never thought I'd say that again.) I hope your son is doing well.
Jazzy - Good luck with your project at work.
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Hi Life, BB, Junie, Jazz
I have been so exhausted by my work schedule. I have flipped from days to nights, then days to nights and tomorrow back to days. I cannot do this! The last schedule I did not look out for my own needs. I usually work 2 weeks on days and 2 on nights. Anyhow, I went to a bridal shower yesterday after working nights. It was nice. (There were 3 of us who had worked the night before, so I wasn't the only crazy one)
I didn't hit my bed until later in the evening. Probably after 6. Woke at 1am, awake for an hour then did not wake up again until 930 this morning. I totally missed my alarm. I was supposed to volunteer at the marathon. Thats what I get for triple booking myself. And I do not even feel rested as I should for all of that sleep. I am very unhappy for sleeping in, but obviously my body just couldn't move with my intentions.
BB, so glad there are some things in your world that are becoming more settled.
Hugs ladies. I am seriously contemplating laying down again. I feel like crap
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oh piper, i can totally relate. may be take a hot bath before bed time...that always helped me.
BB - that's actually good to hear. i also got the time and relaxed to think about me while i was on disability. no work to worry about.
jazz - that's some crazy schedule...
E - where r u? hope the exam went well.
last week was my first week back to work. it's okay, had a deadline, lol and glad it's over.
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Hi, Piper and June.
Piper - I can totally relate, too. For other reasons, the past two weeks have been hectic here, too - mostly due to long driving trips. It's been exhausting. Plus, I've come to realize that, after the divorce, this old vehicle I have isn't going to hold up. It's falling apart. Oh, well.
Have a good day, everyone.
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BB- life coaches are a good thing. I have not worked with one, but have worked with a business coach who navigated me through the first few years of working for myself. Several friends I know have worked with life coaches and they are very good at helping you focus on the future and creating some tangible goals and actions to help you get through things, versus therapy that tends to focus more on the past, things that have gone on, and working through your feelings about them.
If you can talk to someone in that new BC Medicaid program you got into, you should ask what they might have available for coaching help? No doubt plenty of women have needed this support to move forward. I know friends that have worked with them in the past and paid out of pocket have paid a good hourly rate for those sessions (like $150 more more). I know that won't work for you, so you need to find something the ins. plan or area cancer associations or support groups. I bet you can find some help for free or next to nothing.
Will be back again soon!
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