Radiation recovery
Comments
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Redheaded....I'm not sure it will stay numb. Sometimes the nerves just get mad and shut down, then start up again. When mine started up they used to scream as in big capital letters. But all that has evened out for me, and I'm no longer numb nor do I get the shooting sharp pains unless I completely and totally overdo it. Hopefully yours will come back too.
Edwards, sorry your boob decided to take a permanent vacation from feelings. Must have felt strange for a long time.
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Mine is still a little numb around the lumpectomy scar and I do get pain too...but it is tolerable and besides, with the pain the aromasin causes me, I can't fret about any pain that is less than B.A.D.!!
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It is MostlySew- at my first OB-Gyn appt after the surgery my Dr made the comment that my BS did a hatchet job on me. Didn't make me feel good obviously. I was so relieved the surgery was over I didn't think about the cosmetic factor. Frankly still don't.
Diane
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Bad day...or at least it ended bad.Apparently I shouldn't have just left the letter on my bosses desk after she left(cowardly) of me I guess.And my manager didn't get a copy.But she was gone . I wasn't just going to leave it on her desk because she shares an office with the nurses.She came in and talked to me tonight.She acted like they have done all they can do to help me.And she just kind of raked me over the coals about anything and everything.I'm done.She said its up to me to fix any of the codes in the computer if the DR didn't reflect the code suggested in his notes she will no longer help me with that.I feel like it's come to the point that if I have this meeting with them on Monday I should have my letter of resignation in my other hand to give it to them.DH got an earful after work listening to my problems.I feel like if I let them fire me it will hurt my chances finding anouther job.That's one of the first questions on the application is have you ever been fired.I feel like if you answer yes that just pretty much eliminates your chances.
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Sorry I didn't respond to any posts.Kind of in a funk right now.Maybe later when my mood is better.
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Yuck, Josie I'd be in more than a funk after that. What a mess. Sorry you're having to deal with all this.
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Edwards.....I know what you mean about not worrying about what the boob looks like since we're all just really glad simply to be done with it. That said, it would make me feel really bad to have a Dr. comment that it looks like I had a hatchet job. My surgeon did a great job, but even if he didn't I sure wouldn't want anyone to point it out and effectively go "oooooh, that looks awful"..... I had thyroid surgery on my neck years ago (pre-cancer) and I formed huge scar tissue which was not the surgeon's fault. It was relatively healed although still just a bit red when I had occasion to be at the dentist's office. That idiot said to me......"eeek, your neck looks terrible. why aren't you wearing a scarf or something? All the women I know would be covering that up". Needless to say, I changed dentists. And still don't cover my neck unless it's winter! Oh, and the scar tissue? It's even wider now since the older I get the larger it grows. Such is life.....
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It did MostlySew. Already feeling the fallout from the BC DX to begin with so no I sure didn't need to hear that. I don't get why some doctors act like charm school dropouts. Good grief what happened to sensitivity. This same dr called me right after he found out about my DX to offer his help. Go figure. I guess they just blurt out things b4 thinking. Sounds like that dentist is one of those dropouts too.
Josie - so flipping sorry. It seems you just can't win with those people. You are right resigning isn't as damaging on a resume although it does affect unemployment. You are between the proverbial rock and a hard place. Was the rant about what was in the letter or in general? I think I would play it by ear Monday. I know you think you should beat them to the draw by resigning but you really don't know for sure what they are going to do. Good luck on Monday.
Diane
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Josie so sorry the letter didn't help and maybe helped to bring things to a head. These people are impossible! Yes, they have been making things so miserable for you, maybe resigning is your smartest move. Be sure you have some other references though. That group will never give you a good one.
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Josie, when I was young and innocent, I gave my boss a letter asking for long overdue overtime pay. He called me into his office, indicated that my letter was proof of my arrogance and insubordination, and, citing his knowledge as a lawyer, very theatrically dumped my letter into the wastebasket so that this proof of my "wrongdoing" could not be used against me. Then he fired me. It wasn't until weeks and weeks later that I realized the letter was proof of his wrongdoing. He simply did not want to pay me for overtime and sneakily invoked my acknowledgement of his destroying the evidence of his violation of labor laws.
Now, Josie, I see quite a parallel in your situation. I know there was nothing provocative in your letter, which simply cited and invoked your rights under the Americans with Disabilities Act. I strongly suggest that, whatever happens, you request a written response to your document, and that that reponse include the words, "Americans with Disabilities Act." You could ask that it be signed by your managers and also the managing partner. As a physician, he will be very sensitive to the concept of "lawsuit," and you may find him a surprise advocate.
As you all know, I can be pretty direct (Brooklyn Irish heritage with bit of Yankee and German thrown in), so perhaps both you, Josie, and some/most of the others might see this differently. Please consider my thoughts simply suggestions that you are absolutely free to ignore--I will not be the slightest bit hurt
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I AGREE BROOKSIDE! Since I work closely with the Dept. of Labor Josie, I can tell you that if you quit, generally you will be unable to collect unemployment BUT, if you can prove that it is a hostile work environment in a hearing then you may prevail and be able to collect (at least here in CT that is what often happens) so weigh this very carefully but, Brookside is right. You deserve a response to your letter about the ADA issue in writing and they should respond within a respectable amount of time. Ask them to respond to your concerns in writing and what if any action they are going to take to remedy the situation. If you are fired, most likely you will collect unemployment but it will be difficult for you moving forward to find a new job, but not impossible either. It will just take an understanding employer to want to hire you which are hard to come by sad to say. They seem to stick together.
Otherwise, take this case to the EEOC (equal employment opportunities commission) or to HRO (human rights and opportunities) or whomever has jurisdiction over ADA laws in your state. The Dept. of Labor may wish to talk to you about this as well. You really could make their lives miserable with this by filing a case and I doubt they wish to go this route. As Brookside pointed out, the doctor may end up being your advocate here and in fact may not even know how you are being treated!
Hugs and know you are in our thoughts!
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GIGIL,Brookside,April, Diane, Sew thanks for all your responses.I guess I'll just see what happens Monday.My manager had even tried to bring up something the billing dept had issues with on a bone density not by paid for way back in 2012'April 2012I quickly reminded her that I didn't start there until May 2012.
I really have no regrets .I did the best that I could.When I started there the prior bone density tech was already gone.I had never done a bone density.They had a temp in her position whom was a x Ray tech who was actually was an alcoholic coming in late every morning,smelling like alcohol.She was my only clue on how to do thing except that first day when one of the MAs trained me.So I really just taught myself.But should never have been fully responsible for if a bone density being paid for.No wonder the prior tech ran away and never looked backed.I put off my own health for this job knowing very well that I had a lump in my Breast when my manager came in to remind me not to miss any days in my first 90 days.I so wanted to make a good impression so I waited until my 90 days was up to call my OBGYN.I know now that was not smart and not their fault since I did not tell them.I like many of you sweet ladies worked every day during Rads never even taking time off at the end of Rads.I worked full time .I now feel like that may have been a mistake.I needed time to absorb everything.I needed to allow myself to recover.By August they noticed a difference in my performance and decided that they needed to cut my hours since my lack of Bone Densities on the schedule.This was my breaking point and I decided I would start only taking 1/2 of my Tamoxofin to improve my performance and fully intended taking the other half at night but didn't.Stupid decision on my part again.Don't mess with your health for your job.
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K April you are n the know with the legal issues so I have a question - under the Privacy Act if a prospective employer contacting Josie's boss for a recommendation isn't he/she bound by law not to say anything but that she worked there?
I worked with a girl who embezzled $ from the place where we worked - it was a State job. They fired her of course and she turned around and got a job with IRS. Go figure. Can't imagine they would have hired her there if they knew.
In Tennessee, don't know about where you guys live, is a Right to Work state. A lawyer told us your boss could fire you if he didn't like the color of your hair and make it stick. Unbelievable.
I agree with you and Brookside 2 that I can't imagine they would want all the adverse publicity that would come with being a hostile workplace environment.
Stand your ground Josie - don't let them intimidate or manipulate you.
Diane
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Hey Josie, I am in agreement with Brookside and April. Do not quit, make them fire you. Make them respond to you in writing. Remember the jerk I told you about that I worked for years ago? Well, I quit on my own and then had a devil of a time finding a job. I worked temp for awhile just to make bills - barely. And when I had a decent interview for something permanent, I had to identify the attorney I worked for and EVERYONE knew him, so of course I knew a phone call would be made to check on me. And, of course, I never got the job. About 6 months after I quit, when I thought I might actually have to live out of my car, I went to work temporary for a firm and they liked me and said they had just fired someone and would I like to interview with the attorneys. I said yes. I go in and sit down with two lawyers who were very nice and I could tell it would be a good fit. Then they said, "I see you worked for [the asshole]. We both worked at that firm too!." My heart sank, I thought, well here we go again. They will call this dude and I will not get the offer. One of the attorneys then said, "You do not even have to tell us why you left that job. We know what he is like. He is an asshole!" I was hired. I just want you to know, something will happen for you. You will get another job. It may not be easy and it may take awhile, but do not let these people bully you into quitting. I have a feeling that with the letter and your demanding a response in writing and holding your ground, they are going to think twice about firing you.
Yes, where I am, Texas is an "at will" state, which means you can quit at any time and you can be fired at any time, unless you have signed an employment contract, and most of us do not do that. However, even "at will" states have rights. This is not a situation where you have not been trying your best. You have not been playing at your desk, on the phone, coming in late, calling in sick for no reason, etc. At the very least, if you are fired, I would consult with a labor law attorney. If you cannot afford the services of an attorney, contact the Bar Association in your city and ask for help. Many attorneys do pro bono work and I worked for an attorney who used to do a lot of that. People who would be unable to get back a deposit on a rental home, for example, after leaving the place immaculate and were smart enough to take photos. Landlords often will stick it to people and say, "You left this place a mess, and I had to fix this and that." They withhold their monies and know that the poor tenant cannot afford an attorney. Well guess what. The landlord winds up having to pay treble damages (triple) according to the law. There are avenues of help always, remember that. Keep looking for that job and stand your ground. I know it is hard.
Hang in!
Big D
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Diane, the employer can legally say ANYTHING they want about you as long as it is true and they can back it up. The reason most companies have policies NOT to disclose any information other than the person worked there (dates salary etc) is because they are afraid of litigation! But, it is not a law. Lots of folks think it is, but it isn't. As for "at will" employment, I am pretty sure all 50 states are now at will (maybe Wisconsin isn't but I think even they are now)so they can fire without any reason at all. The only thing is the person will prevail for unemployment if they don't have a valid reason such as stealing or insubordination etc. But, without a contract (which very few employees save a few executives have) anyone can be fired. Even teachers don't really have tenure anymore! It is an employment at will world we live in. The only recourse we have is to PROVE discrimination in a court of law. Unlawful termination is reserved for only those types of cases. It stinks but it is what it is.
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Ladies, I have been reading everything and keeping up. Just sometimes it is hard right now and I know you all understand. No one looks forward to surgery and recovery, and knowing that the
diagnosis may be a bad one is just extra icing on that cake. Some days I am very depressed, others are not so bad. I know I will get through this and I will continue to fight. But yeah, it is hard. I did not want to take out that money, you have no idea, but at least it was there.70Charger, oh my gosh do I love those photos! I wish I could go and sit in your garden. It is beautiful and I see all the hard work. I could never do that, but so appreciate the effort and beauty you have created.
Cindy, I am thinking about you and wondering how the infusion went – did you have it? You are in such good shape I know you may feel bad for a few days, but then it will be done and next time much easier. I expect that perhaps I might have to do zometa as well at some point. I am keeping you in my thoughts and hope hubby is well too.
Diane, I love Reba too, always have. I never got to talk to her during the time of the case I worked on, but we did take her deposition in Nashville. My boss attended alone. I did talk to her secretary several times and was able to get messages to her and replies back, but that was the closest I came. It was hard to meet the families of the deceased, and we were on the defense side and calling them as witnesses for one of the other band members whose family was suing. We represented the insurance company who owned the plane. But that did not matter. We had a job to do and that did not mean that we did not feel terrible for the loss of life. I had to take one of the families over to the courthouse one day to show them where they would go and sit and explain what it would be like, and the mother of the deceased band member started crying and I did too. It had been two years since the accident but it was like yesterday. You never get over losing a loved one, as we all know. I don’t know if you know, but the plane the band was on was a rental; Reba was thinking about buying it and companies often will lend you the aircraft for a weekend trip so you can see how you like it. Reba and her husband and baby were supposed to fly back with the band, but Reba did not feel well after the show that night. She was coming down with a cold and decided to stay behind and take another flight the next day. I can only imagine how she felt.
Redheaded, thanks for the Angel and her Cloud! Yes, they are with me right now and we are having a grand old time. Thanks for letting them stay with me. Glad you liked the SL video and no I make nothing in there. I wish I did! I am hired to style and model, some of those clothes and accessories and hair and makeup, etc. I purchase and some I get free because I know the designers and we are friends now. I learned early on that I was not good at designing and making things. Not a good photographer either. I often pay for some of those beautiful
photos you saw in that video. People who are good at photoshop are in demand and can make a decent living if they are talented. This weekend we are raising oney for the American Cancer Society. I am going to be modeling a beautiful gown and jewelry from one of the best designers in there and walking an amazing runway that you would have to see to appreciate. The ACS is in Second Life full time, all year around, and in July everyone comes together, including Linden Lab, the owner of Second Life, and we raise money for cancer. Last year we raised over $300,000 USD!! That is a lot of Lindens, let me tell you!Bunkie, I think of Kate too, I miss seeing her in here. Glad you are not going to be alone now and that you are having some good days with the vertigo issues you have. All I can say is I understand and like so many other things, I wish the medical community could fix it!!!!
I am so wordy, I know hahahahaha, sorry. I hope you all have a really nice weekend. It is hot as you know what here in Dallas, triple digits, but next week in the 80’s – now that is crazy. But gonna enjoy it. Some of my friends at work are taking me out for what I am calling “The Last Supper” next Saturday. We are going to my favorite Tex-Mex restaurant and yes, I am gonna have me a HUGE strawberry marguerite and I don’t care! I may live alone and may not have many friends, but the ones I have are golden and you all are included!Hugs to you all.
Big D/Joan
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Joan - have a good time guzzling that margarita - I love them and the food too. I was born in Fort Worth as were a brother and sister and have relatives in Houston, Temple, Henrietta, Garland and Denton. DH was born in Denton so lots of Texas relatives. My sister worked for IBM in Arlington a long time ago. She loved it but her DH got transferred to Chicago. He's from there. Talk about a culture shock! Son went to a Dallas Cowboys game last December. He's a big fan. I miss all the things to do in Texas. Not so much to do in Tennessee.
We will be thinking and praying for you- you already know that.
No I didn't know Reba and family were supposed to be on that plane. Scary. God decided it wasn't their time.
The women's basketball coach at Notre Dame was supposed to be on the plane 9/11 that crashed in Pennsylvania. It was supposed to be a recruiting trip. Her assistant talked her into driving instead. Another act of God. They tried to interview her but she refused. Pretty shaken up as you can well imagine just like Reba.
Diane
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Thanks April. Tough work environment we live in these days. I did challenge my bosses@Fedex Freight when I took leave for my surgery, etc., because they didn't inform me my supplemental time ended@90 days and I had to reapply. I went to HR at the corporate office and the CEO's office n Atlanta. He called me and sent me a certified letter stating I could come back whenever I was ready. I was supposed to have been informed when I took the time off initially. It's was ironic after I got that letter the bosses were calling and emailing me checking to see how I was doing. Hypocrites. Didn't give a flip before.
Dang Josie I didn't know all of that went on with you and your job. That must have been incredibly difficult for you. I didn't work through all of my treatment and Tamoxifen did a number, and still does, on my ability to concentrate. I couldn't understand how/why I kept making mistakes and getting behind. Now I know. They were brutal 2 just like your bosses. I tried not to let it bother me but of course it did. I was always frustrated and constantly getting my feelings hurt. I bent my DH's ear too almost every night I worked. Now I'm working at home but not for them.
Diane
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Wow, lost in the thread current moving swiftly!
Had the Zometa infusion yesterday. ThankYou for bringing in my pocket...and sending your angle:). Went very well. Sat and went in about 40 minutes after arrived...office error, but helped calm my nerves and got me in the get her done attitude. RN was sweet assured me I would do fine and laughed at 'feel like crap' said they have to tell you the full range if reactions. I asked if I could fly home that day and she said yes...so I finished at 12:30, taxi came at 1:30, and up up and away at 3 arrived at midnight. A bit achy today but think more from the tiny jet and close quarters...ugh no leg room or body or any room but home. Trusting my pound the bones child's play and supplements will keep the bone lost away.
Josie - oh my
have a good weekend try and zone out on family and not think about Monday. Concur with April, Diane, Brookside, Sew, and others...don't go down without a fight...make them fire you...did you geta reference from the dr who retired? When I was working I had to refer all reference calls to HR so we could not be sued! I did accept one, asked them to call after hours, and it would be personal, and not reflect the agency in any means or manner...reference checker was the city attorney ow here for ER staffer was trying to get a position. He got the job and has excelled there...yeah my reputation was on the line. Agai. Stand strong...make the cut the cord not you...BigD - cheers! Ha ha last supper...you're going to face this like the super hero you are Wonder Woman! Sending your angle back to your shoulder. Thank you Readhead too:)
Bunkie - hee hee BT arrives with a dog! Hope your time together is magical...you so deserve to smile!
Janis - Bday celebrations and family time...we want pics!
Fizzdon52 - welcome! Interesting about the film. Maybe our ROs will discover. Speedy healing and new normal:)
Charger - ah, what a peaceful garden and so green...a meditative zone...ommm
Joan - glad you've got your mammo appt. Yeah, 3 yrs out:)))
DDOL - counting down...so close to done! Hang in there laser tag is almost over. Don't be surprise if you go into withdraws after treatment ends...good read Moving Beyond Breast Cancer...helps with that what now feeling.
Ok all you Fankenboob Radies...numb, questionable look, gosh so right we just want c out and don't always ask what will my girl(s) look like. I asked for pics...I guess because mine was against the chest wall the surgical outcome does not show, but the scar is hard and tender by SND. BS says it's normal and my appearance is good would not know except one is a perky B and the other is a droopy D. I can live with it, but I do have feeling just don't squeeze she's very tender and can't lay on my tummy to tan in the sand.
(((Hugs)))
Cindy
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Cindy...you're not supposed to be tanning anyway....no longer de riguer...just here to help
Oh, and I'm also a new B+ and huge DD, but this way I can tell I'm certainly not swelling, which used to be a problem with the LE, so doesn't bother me at all. Glad you're feeling pretty much OK.....now for those prunes, D, magnesium, calcium, walking, tennis anyone? You could also run in place while fly fishing...ooooh, does that chase the fish away?
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Sew - ha ha! For a former SoCal beach bunny I got no tan...oh I do have an LE sleeve tan...but such a good source of vit D! Spacing out my prunes...4 every 6 hours with my supplements...and I do jog in place for 3 mins a couple times a day...rather dance and walk...yes, the fish would swim away fast! Nap time...I'm so sleepy.
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Thanks everyone for all the advice and good wishes .I promise I will try and hold on.Im sorry I've monopolized the conversation.
Cindy, so glad the infusion was no big deal.8 hour flight? wow
Big D have a margarita for me. Sounds good. Good for you . Did I miss one of your posts updating us on surgery dates? That sounded terrible about your former job. You sure got lucky.
BTW the party was great. My breast surgeon was there. He is the doctor that retired son-in law.I got to meet his wife too. So nice it was catered and they even had live music and gelato hand scooped .
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Cindy....no wonder you need a nap! I on the other hand am making yet another emergency trip to the hardware store....going to try to avoid the candy aisle!
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Josie, your employer MUST respond to your request for a reasonable accommodation under the ADA laws. Here is the page for Missouri!
http://mo.db101.org/mo/situations/workandbenefits/supports/program2e.htm
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Glad it went well RMLulu! My surgical scar doesn't show either thankfully!
Diane
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Hi everyone,
I am sorry I have not been participating in here for sometime. Maybe I just wanted to forget about cancer and pretend I am back to normal life. Anyway, I came back to see how everyone is doing and found out the bad news about Kate. I was very upset and got very depressed. But then I thought about Kate and how she tried to make her life fun even when she was in pain. She would have lunch with friends, have hairdresser come to her home and fix her hair, go shopping even when her leg was swollen. She tried to enjoy her life to the fullest even when times were bad. I am glad she has no more pain and is free to do all the fun things in heaven. She looked much younger than 71 years old. I wish she could communicate with you in her last days in this forum because I am sure everyone of you would be a great support for her in her last days. Hopefully she received the cards you sent her to know that she was loved by a lot of people. She will be remembered for her courage and her love for life.
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Josie, I know you are not looking forward to tomorrow, but, frankly, it is you who has the power. You have requested, in writing, protection under the Americans with Disabilities Act, and, as April points out, they are required to respond in writing. You can gently request that further job related discussion be postponed until this has been accomplished. I strongly suggest you bring the letter below with you on Monday. You do not have to submit it if you do not want to, but if "things" are not going well, it will give you an opportunity to end the meeting on your terms. It is very important that the managing partner receive a copy, as he is the one who would be liable should you be forced to sue. It is also important that your manager and supervisor receive the letter, as they have been the ones harassing you, and need to be reminded that you have invoked the protection of the Act.
To:
(Name), Managing Partner
(Name), Office Manager
(Name), Supervisor
My letter of (date) to (name, title) cited my protection under the Americans with Disabilities Act and requested a reasonable accommodation. I am confused by the response I have received from (name/s, title/s), and request a clarification in writing, signed by each of you. Might I expect this response by (date)?
For your convenience, I am attaching a copy of my letter.
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Yes Josie, I agree with Brookside completely! You are protected under the law despite the fear they have instilled in you for something that is clearly not your fault. Please don't worry if they balk after your letter(s) because the EEOC protects you from retaliation. Please click on some of the links above and read what Missouri considers ADA protection. Even PTSD is covered under ADA which surely many of us have suffered after BC diagnosis/treatment. Please don't worry. Stand up for your rights! xo
Hi new2bc. Sorry you came back only to find out our sad news. We are all pretty shaken by the fact that she never rallied enough to come back so we could shore her up during her final days but alas, we hope she read our cards and letters and knew how much we cared.
Off to finish laundry! xo
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Thanks April and Brookside. I didnt sleep well last night and woke up early thanks to the kitty meowing.My oldest DD left her puppy with us last night while she worked.Well it ended up spending the night.I went back to sleep for a while this morning though.
new2bc, welcome back.Glad your doing ok.
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Thanks Josie and April. Josie, I hope everything works out for you at work tomorrow. I hope you can find a better place where coworkers support you and allow you to be in peace and do the best you can. Remember, things happen for a reason and if things do not turn out good tomorrow, have confidence that something better will happen soon.
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