Radiation recovery
Comments
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Janis-(((HUGAs FROM ME)) I am sincerely sorry for neglecting to ask about you. You were on these boards when I joined and you always reached out to all of us! You were right to call us out on it.You don't have to say any more I can read between the lines of everything you have shared before and am probably close to figuring it out. SO SAD for what you have been through.
Life can deal us some cruel blows--it's ok to be knocked down, but you do have to get up from it and dust you8rself off eventually. You know you and your sister did NOTHING to allow this to happen and you know where the responsibility rests. God knows that also....
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Janis, I'm so sorry to hear abot these severe emotional stresses you've been going thru. I don't get on this site often recently, and when I did I knew you hadn't posted, but figured, mistakenly apparently, that you were happily involved in Elizabeth's visit. I do hope you at least got to have that before this situation with your dad. I feel bad that you've been suffering so quietly. Please stay with us this time, so that we can at least be good listeners for you. Hugs....
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Dear Janis, apologies to you. I think that many of us drop off and come back, according to our life cycles and events, both happy and sad. I wish that I had known what a difficult time you were going through, and have the opportunity to offer my support. You have always been incredibly caring and supportive to all of us, and such a loving presence on this thread. I'm so sorry for the angst that you've been dealing with.
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janis, this my first time on this thread. I am sorry you are going through pain of any kind. Keep the faith life will get better. Know all will be thinking of you and your family. Shuf. (Live, laugh and love)
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Janis, I'm sorry you have been through so much lately. I'm also sorry you felt like no one missed you.Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own life's that's we forget to ask about others. Also sometimes people drop off the site because their lives are busy or they just don't feel like posting and I respect that. I know that wasn't the case for you and I hope you know how much we all care about you.I can see you hurting and hope your able to pick up the pieces.
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((((Janis)))) Huge squeezes from someone who is MIA so often, people know I am ok and don't worry about me. I pop in for a few mins from time to time cause I care about each and every lady on this board. You of all people should not have been overlooked since you are one of the kindest and sweetest people on the entire BCO board. Just know we ALL are crazy about you and feel bad that you are hurting. I just sent you a PM cause I think I know what is happening or likely going on.
Please kick back with a cake ball or two and wash them down with a nice Mojito or some such lovely drink. xoxo
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justmejanis, I am so sorry that life has laid a rocky road for you and your Sister. It can be twisted and filled with detours as we all know. I hope that you and your Sister can find a peaceful place to rest and relax on your journey. Please don't apologize for keeping it close to home, you are allowed to vent or not. It is up to you, and I do understand. Some days I only let so much out of the box. My Mother has had Alzheimer's disease for 7 years, and it's hard to imagine what the last 7 years could have been. And now here I am with BC. Some days it is more than I can deal with....
I do hope you find some peace and comfort with your Sister. Let us know how you are doing.
Cheryl 0 -
Ladies I feel awful about being such a big baby. I know that everyone here has so much going on and not one person here has ever slighted me, ever. I want to thank everyone for the cheers and support and all the love that has been sent my way. Many thanks!
I am really looking forward to seeing my friend. Elizabeth will be here April 3. I know many of you have been able to meet one another and it is the best feeling ever. I first met her on this very thread nearly four years ago. It so hard to believe that much time has passed. We met in person once almost three years ago, for an overnight visit. This times she will be here four days so that will be amazing. It cheers me, trust me, knowing that we will meet again shortly and spend plenty of quality time together.
I fear the situation with my dad is nearly hopeless. For now I can't change it and rather than let is destroy me I know I have to cope better. I am dong my best to 'accept the things we cannot change'.
Please don't anyone feel bad for 'neglecting' me. I know this was not the case, I think I was having a bit of a pity party and that is unlike me. If I know one thing it is that I know I can come here anytime and get all the support I need. You are all so amazing.
I shall return! I don't want to lose track of anyone anymore.
Thank you again so much for everything.
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(((JANIS))) - we all have our moments, days, weeks...so sending ((((hugs))). Enjoy your visit! Great to have something to look forward to:)
And thanks for the prayers&good thoughts. Focus is just on today.
PTSD kicks in when pushed to the wall...find your zen space and if you need I'll loan you my ear buds so you can sing la la la! While in tree poise...j found a great massage place $35 for an hour upper body&foot...zen....
Cindy
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Thank you so much Cindy. My heart goes out to you during this most difficult time. I feel as if my problems are so insignificant right now. Big hugs to you.0 -
Hi Janis, I have been absent a lot lately myself - long enough to be mostly forgotten for the most part. I do try to check in now and again though, and drop a note. I have been here almost as long as you have, and I can just about guess what you and your sister are dealing with. So sorry, you have just been losing your dad step by step, and that is tough. Say hello to Elizabeth. I used to chat a bit with her. The two of you should have some good quality time. I hope it cheers you. Cindy, you are such a smart lady. You really know where to go to get the comfort you so deserve right now. You are a survivor, dear lady. Hi to everyone. I hope you all have pleasant Easter plans. Love, GiG
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Janis, enjoy your visit with Elizabeth. And stop apologizing. Your fine. We all are praying for you and your situation.
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Hear is to good friends, good times, and good massages!!! (35.00 for an HOUR, they are 70 here!!!!! )0 -
Hear Hear Redheaded....and I'm adding a bit of chocolate to the toast!
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Hey, I want to know where I can find a 35.00 an hour massage! They are 65.00 for half an hour here! Ok at work as usual so gotta run. Lunch hour is here and we are having a little party for someone who is leaving and there will be pizza and cake so not gonna miss that...LOL!
Janis, responded to your response to my PM.
Cindy - get TWO of those greatly reduced price massages! You deserve it! xoxo
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I am sitting here in shock right now. One of my colleagues lost her husband to liver cancer in October. She just came upstairs and asked to speak to me and she shut my office door so I knew it was serious. She is going for her first treatment for rads today for Stage 2b breast cancer and wanted to know what to expect. She took 4 months off from work after her husband died and I did not know she was fighting this battle on top of just losing her husband. My heart broke for her.
I have another co-worker who has a husband battling stage IV esophageal cancer right now. My husband still has no clue what is wrong with him (doctors have not found it yet and now he has an unexplained cough). Cindy lost her beloved husband who fought bladder cancer way too long. What in the world is going on? Is it because I am at "that age" that so many people I know are being diagnosed with this STUPID disease?
Vent over...just did not know what to think after she came in to tell me. Ugh!
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April I am so sorry for the recent blows you have been dealt. It is heartbreaking when this disease begins to affect so many of those around us. I was talking to my BF the other day. We go back well over 30 years and live in different states now. She is a very busy and socially active person and commented about all the funerals she has attended in the last year. Part of it is the age. We decided in our 30's we went to a lot of weddings. Now sadly it is funerals. Unfortunately it is inevitable. It isn't only cancer, but there are so many other things that take a toll. Heart disease and stroke and diabetes, it is a long and countless list of maladies that may or may not eventually take us. Yet again many people live well into their 90's and 100's now.
I understand the need to vent, it is so much to take in. You sure came to the right place. I know what a difficult time this is with so much sadness around you right now. I am thinking of you, and sending you extra hugs.
Josie you are so sweet. Thank you!
Sew if you are adding chocolate then surely someone needs to being the wine.
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april485, your right it is a stupid disease! My heart goes out to anyone that has to deal with the big "C" word. My DH will not even say the word. But I am blessed that I am a survivor. Went thru watching my dad with alzheimers lost him last year. Such a degrading disease. He lived with me for two years and we had lots of fun even through the bad days. We never know but keep putting one foot in front of another.
Shuf (live, laugh and love)
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I have been watching the Ken Burns series on Cancer that aired on PBS MON, TUES and again tonight. I think that the science will catch up but we are also evolving so quickly with new environmental threats that it is hard to do. The part where they did the HERCEPTIN CLINICAL TRIAL was fascinating. Kinda sad when you are watching and they start talking about something and you figure it out before they say the name of the treatment.... You Know you have had cancer when that happens!!!!!!
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Shuf welcome to the forum, I am sorry I forgot to welcome you (and thank you too) when I saw your post. I am so sorry about your dad. Losing him must have been so devastating. You were lucky to have that quality time with him, albeit difficult at times. I am sure he felt your love and devotion to him even when he was failing. Big hugs to you.
Redheaded thank you too for your sweet post. The program you watched sounds really interesting. Yes, it is like reading the book and then seeing a movie, you already know how the book ended. I have really put much of my BC behind me and I think for me that works. I do however see my MO later this month for my 6 month checkup. In October he switched me from Arimidex to Femara. I still have a lot of joint pain and bad hot flashes and night sweats. I wonder how you are doing on it? I can live with it, especially knowing I only have 1 year and 8 months left to take it. Not that I am counting!
SAB as always it is good to hear from you. I know what a crazy busy life you have and thank you for your special note.
Beachbum welcome to this board. I feel silly that you had to read my whiney post. Honestly, I am not like that. I am sure you understand, everyone has a low moment. I am sorry about your Mom's struggle with Alzheimer's. So different from cancer, robbing the mind and the spirit as it can. Cherish the moments of lucidity and all of the memories you two share.
Gigil I know you have a very active life with all the moves and settling into a new home. Sweetie I hope you don't really feel you have been forgotten! Maybe we come to assume that some people drop in and out while others are frequent fliers here. I always enjoy hearing from you and love your updates on your amazing grandson Cole. How is he doing? He is an inspiration to so many. I hope you are enjoying the nice Florida weather after all those years in cold country. My oldest son lives in MN but works in Fargo. He loves warmth and sunshine and I don't think the climate there is much to his liking. I understand why Florida has so many snowbirds. Northern winters are not for the faint of heart.
I do want to say that this is such a wonderful community and I hope I did not hurt anyone's feelings. BC brought us all together and I honestly have no regrets. I will say though that once this part of our journey changes as we recover, we get to know one another on so many different levels. We all have lives that are complex and challenging. BC brought us here, and our deep commitment to one another keeps us here. I think all of us would agree that the friendships we have made have also been life changing. As life goes on we love and cheer one another on as we cope with other challenges. BC does not define who we are, but it sure makes us realize how strong we all are! That strength sometimes feels elusive, but this is when we realize what amazing friends we have here. I can't emphasize how deeply I was affected by all of your kindness in my time of crisis. You truly are the best of the best.
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So happy your bc.org friend is coming to visit, Janis. Sure wish we all could get together and chat, and gab, and yak, on and on and on.
I'm so sorry about your coworker, April, but how lovely for her that you were there to listen and console--and that she knew you'd understand. The only place I'm open about my bc is right exactly here, on these threads. Of course, I have my own office, and I'm all alone in there, so I suppose it's not that surprising that I haven't communicated with very many. There is a bc support group at the local hospital, but at first I was too traumatized to share, and at this point, I guess I've pretty much come to terms with my dx and, for the moment, at least, do not feel it a priority.
Yes, I watched the first episode of The Emperor, and set my TV to record the rest. What struck me most deeply was the man whose identical twin had suffered and died from leukemia. Not only did he lose his brother, but all his life, he must have wondered whether, with his identical genetics, he might also be stricken.
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April, how sad about your co workers. I'm sorry.
On a happy note how's that Grandbaby?
Redheaded, interesting show on cancer. PBS always have good things on by I never seem to catch them .Herceptin is something my MO offered me. If I went for it I would find out my Her 2 status.
I passed on it because I was afraid even though my MO reassured me there were little to no side effects. I often wonder if I made the right decision. What if I passed up an opportunity to help even more with reoccurring?
Janis, your right Cancer doesn't define us or it shouldn't and sometimes I wonder where I did get my strength. I know God and prayers had a lot to do with it.But also part of me feels cancer has left me a little weaker emotionally and physically. Everyday I went to those radiation treatments alone and went straight to work . I never took my mom up on her offers to come with. Afterwards I never took a break. Anouther regret. Everyone needs a break and from the time of my diagnosis I just kept going without hardly leaving time to absorb. I don't know how familiar you are with the movie
Finding Nemo. Remember Doree? "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming" that was me.
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Josie, I think if they offered you Herceptin you were HER2positive. I don't think it benefits people who are negative. (Kinda like hormone therapy won't help the ones who are ER PR negative)I did all mine alone except a friend went for the initial consultation.
Love the "keep swimming" quote....
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Josie, I think that you were offered an AI or tamoxifen, not Herceptin because DCIS is not systemic so no chemo is ever prescribed for DCIS due to it not being able to break out of the duct. I could be mistaken, but I think whatever drug you were offered, it is not likely it was Herceptin. I also might be full of it since maybe it is what you were offered, but my understanding is that none of the chemos are ever given for DCIS per Beesie, our resident expert...unless of course you had DCIS with a micro-invasion in which case you are actually stage 1 and could easily have been offered it.
I DVR'd the Ken Burns documentary and will be watching it next week when I am on vacation! YAY!!!
Oh and my grandbaby is doing great! I can't wait to see her on Sunday when everyone comes for Easter dinner
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Janis, thank you for your sweet note. I am back in Minnesota these days and it is almost always windy here in the spring. I am working on an IRS audit, which has kind of ruined my winter get away. Ah well, things have been worse, right? Supposedly we popped up randomly. I will be glad to be finished. Cole is doing just great. He is such a sweet boy. He is in 6th grade now, and he has had a friend, who is also a girl since kindergarten. He gets very touchy that we don't say it wrong. He likes her a lot and she likes him. She is a wonderful ice skater, so Cole frequently tags along when his dad takes his sister to skating practice. He says he goes for the popcorn, but I wonder. Ha! Ha! He likes having us around more and we are planning a plane trip with him this summer, just him and his grandma and grandpa. He hasn't had a chance to do that for a few years - since he badly broke his leg and was finally permanently confined to his wheelchair. He is very much looking forward to it. Well, back to work. As you say the bc doesn't define us anymore. We are here for our lovely friendships. xoxo GiGi
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Redheaded and April, they offered me Herceptin during my Rads it was a clinical trial and if I did it I would find out my Her 2 status. Otherwise they wouldn't test me for my Her2 because most insurance doesn't cover it for DCIS.She said I could join the trial and then opt out after my Her2 status was tested. She knew I didn't want it but did want to know my Her2 status.
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Yes, Gigi, i'm dealing with an IRS audit too--my first, and hopefully the last. Joy, joy, joy to us.
So glad Cole is getting around and having fun with both adults and kids (particularly that lovely girl). I'll bet he's really looking forward to that trip, as, of course, are you.
Josie, I never noticed that an HER2 status is not on your profile. Had no idea until just now that you DCIS folks do not routinely receive this test. I know what you mean about not giving yourself a break in the months after dx. I also kept on swimming. Well, doggie paddling, just barely afloat. I did go on disability though rads and beyond, but wish I'd stayed on it longer. I assumed I could just go back to work when the time I'd allotted myself was over, but that whole first year was a miserable fight to stay on task. Looking back, I'd have been way better off with a couple more months of DI.
Today, I seem to have my strength back, but the focus is very different. Instead of staying at my desk until 7:00 most days, I schlep my briefcase to the car around 4:00. Should have adopted this routine a couple of years ago.
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Oh Brookside I can so sympathize with you. We started out with one year, and she decided to open two more years because of one small error I made. UGH. Now I have to get all of the documentation for two more years!! I am a bit stressed about it. How is it going for you?
Josie, I didn't realize either that they didn't do the HER testing on DCIS. Does your history say you had a lumpectomy in both breasts? And also lymph node dissection on both sides?
April, glad your grand baby is doing well. I had a breakfast date with my daughter in law and two grandkids. During the night they all started vomiting. Not good. My daughter and her family are coming to my house for Easter brunch. I really wanted to get out and buy an excellent ham for the occasion. Maybe I will run out now. The wind has been blowing so hard today, I just didn't want to go out. I have felt exhausted all day. I am a bit peppier after ordering pizza loaded with veggies and premium chicken for dinner. I just have no food in this house. I have been subsisting all day on peanuts, instant oatmeal and yogurt. Not good. I leave tomorrow for the house out west, near North Dakota. I am sure the traffic out of the city is going to be insane.
Anyone else have special plans? We sometimes fly kites on Easter. I ordered Cole a kite shaped like a commercial jet. He loves commercial airplanes. Such a guy! The other grandkids got things suited to their interests and the two smallest ones got stuffed bunnies. I love a cute little stuffed bunnies and I will get them for the ones who enjoy stuffed animals. Thank goodness I still have a couple that do. The kids I am not cooking for (my sons) got Easter breakfast baskets. I love sending them all special treats.
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Brookside, yes that's why you didn't see the Her2 status. I'm not sure why they don't feel it's important to cover you for this. Insurance really stinks sometimes. And I hear you about the first year after. It's really just like do the minimum and go through the paces of life. I can remember about 3 months after Rads ended looking around my house and saying"what happened?" The maid is so fired!! She has shown up yet
Gigil, I got a chuckle out of the story about Cole. First love? Or just friends? Either way very cute. Wait......your working in Florida now? Bummer. Maybe it keeps you busy and out of trouble though.
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Oh, Gigi. Three years? Those miserable bullies! I"m sure hoping you'll find something that shows Uncle Sam owe you a big, juicy, refund.
I sure hope they'll be happy with one year from me. My computer had a problem and I lost all of 2014, so I hope, hope, hope they'll be satisfied with one year--do not want to organize and record all those little pieces of paper again.
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