Any October 2011 Surgeries out there want to wait together?
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Hi Ladies, I'm having my BMX with TEs on Oct 4. I finished chemo on July 19th, so hoping it's all smooth sailing after Tuesday. :-)
Many hugs to you all. I don't post much, but I've been reading pretty much every day since March. :-)0 -
Clams--So glad to hear all went well!!! I hope you are enjoying some rest...
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Judy67 - I can sooo relate to still being in denial somewhat ... I'm having surgery on Monday, Oct 3rd, and even though I've made a list, I haven't purchased all the things I need, and haven't started packing at all ... I keep telling myself I'll do it tomorrow ... well, tomorrow never seems to get here ... lol ... do you think I'm procrastinating a bit? I just can't seem to get motivated to pack for a trip to go have my breasts removed ...
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I used a wedge pillow and then laid a regular pillow over it vertically with additional pillows on my sides like arm rests. It worked well and it was nice to be in my own bed. Caryn
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Hello ladies,
This is the first time I sign in to the website. I'm a 31 year old female that was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in the month of March. I finished my chemotherapy sessions on August 31st. I will be having surgery on October 7th. I will be having a masectomy in the right breast. I will have TE placed in on the same day and will have to wait to see if radiation is needed for the full reconstruction to happen. I was not sure if I should do the flap surgery as I feel it can be more painful with time. Any help will be great.
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jesslove29 & SLOGeek02- Welcome, but so sorry you guys have to come hang out with us. Hopefully you guys will find the ladies here informative, supportive and compassionate. Hang in there ladies, this journey will move forward and we are all in this together.
Judy67-I had surgery before my chemo. They wanted the tumor to establish stage and to do Oncho test. I have several friends that had things done the same way. Not sure why alot of you guys had your chemo first. If your having concerns be sure to voice them to your MO and BS.Good luck.
trinity-my surgery sister. I did the same darn thing with my BMX. I remember ridiing the hospital when it hit me, I'm getting ready to have someone butcher me. That was really the only time I freaked, but got through it and kept my eyes on the prize as they say-to be cancer free with perky new boobs at the end. I'll probably do the same thing Mon, freak as I'm riding to the hospital. Just remember, if you freak out, put your hand in your pocket, and I'll take your hand. Much love.
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Forgot to check on Mrs. Clams. How is she today? Mr Clams you deserve two jack and cokes-remember to take care of yourself as well and get some rest, she's going to need you a whole lot when you guys get home. Again send her our love and support.
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DanaDana and CLC -- I so know what you mean. I have been working fulltime which has helped keep my mind off surgery, but today is my last day at work. If it get too much time to think about what is coming I get freaked out. I just keep telling myself after Tues I will be cancer free.
Clam - so glad you wife did well... I hope you both get some rest.
slogeek02 and jesslove029 -- welcome to our group. sorry you have to join us, but this is a great group very supportive.
slogeek02 -- looks like we will be surgery sisters. Oct 4 seems to be a popular day there will be 6 of us having surgery.
Ann --- I will hope that all goes well with your toes so you can have your TE as scheduled.
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Gotta run but my sister (biological one!) sent me this and I thought I'd share:
We don't know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice we have.
Hang in there October sisters!!!0 -
Hi Ladies. Good luck to those of you with your surgery coming up soon. Mine is Oct. 10th, and I am already nervous. I will be thinking of all of you and praying that all goes well.
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Good Afternoon Friends~
A quick check-in before I tackle some heavy-duty house cleaning. I feel like I'm "nesting" here--- only this trip to the hospital requires leaving a couple of things behind instead of bringing something precious home
And on that note, we still haven't delivered the news to our son. I know there's never a "perfect" time for this type of conversation but I'm so afraid to let him have TOO much time to worry about me. Unfortunately, my boy is a real worrier (wonder where he got that from?!?) On the flip side, it's not right to pop this on him either. I'm about 3+ weeks out now... definitely time to tell him? Any insight is mucho appreciated.
Anyone else have a complete lack of appetite these days? I'm making sure to eat so as to maintain my strength but I'm basically force-feeding at this point.
Clams~ I'm so relieved to hear that surgery went well yesterday. I'm sure that 8.5 hours must have felt like an eternity. Hope you enjoyed that drink--- or three!
Please give Mrs. Clams my best. Hope her pain level is still managable?Trinity~ Happy that your insurance issues have been resolved. I just dealt with the same and thankfully had a good result too
jesslove29~ Hey there Girl and welcome to an unbelievably supportive bunch of women (+ a Clam, lol) I'm so sorry to learn of your diagnosis. You must feel somewhat relieved to have chemo behind you now.
MargieC~ Like you, keeping busy has been my saving grace. Too much time on my hands is NEVER a good thing for my mind.
Ann~ So glad that you're back and posting. Really sorry to hear about the nail issue. I'll be thinking super fast healing thoughts and that this will NOT disrupt surgery plans.
More personals next time!
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October is turning out to be a busy month for surgeries. While its sad so many of us are here, I sure am glad we don't have to go it alone. What did we do before the internet!?
Dukes Up, you, me and Rachel are bringing up the end of the month with BMX surgeries on the 24, 25 and 26. How old is your son and where will be he be while you are in the hospital? My sons are 13 and 6, and we were really bracing ourselves for the big C talk with them, but they took it in stride. Kids haven't associated cancer with all the horrible ideas we associate with that word, because they usually haven't seen it in action. So their reaction is a reflection of how you are appearing to them - calm or freaked out, scared or resolute, or sometimes all of the above!
Hopefully our kids' experience with cancer will be to watch their mothers fight it with grace and dignity, and live a long time afterword.
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Slgarcia . . . . special welcome to you as you and I have surgery on the same date! We're surgery sisters . . .! I'm nervous too . . . making final decisions (or trying to!) and getting final details in place. Hang in there - you'll find a crew of October sisters here that are ready to hug, cry, calm and rejoice with you!
Dukes up - remember to explain there are many levels of breast cancer . . . Cancer is not a death sentence . . . I know this is harder and for me it brought the reality closer to myself but you hit on an important point: He needs to know. This is a wonderful example for ALL of us to teach our children strength, grace, and clarity (RK is right on this too! What they see in us, they will reflect!) . We are all clear that we are FIGHTERS, SURVIVORS and WINNERs. . .and you need him on your team. . . you'll feel better once this talk is done. And I know you can do it.
I too am on "the cancer diet" lately. . .I had someone come up and say, "Hey - you look great - ! How are you losing weight?" I replied, "I have cancer. . ." They replied, "hahaha - come on, how are you really doing it?" I just smiled and said, "no, really. . . .that is how I'm doing it!" We must stay physically strong - get some good food in you! Any suggestions on kicking the appetite up are appreciated.
Clams - EXCELLENT news - very, very happy for you both. Take a deep breath for yourself and give Mrs. Clams a hug for all of us.
Ann - when do we get an update on surgery? Go? no go? Really hoping / praying / sending you good, well thoughts. . .
Trinity - work that insurance fight, my friend! Get it going and resolved. . . THEN you'll possibly be ready to pack. . .
As for me - BRCA gene mutation result was negative but found out I have a funky little PTEN gene mutation giving me Cowden's Syndrome (. . .I feel like I'm on a bad reality show. . . .) which is not nearly as impactful as BRCA positive results but still something to think about. . .lovely! More to think about. I'm avoiding packing too . . .laughed out loud with you today, Trinity, I can't get motivated to go get a breast removed either! hahaha. . .
Press on my October Sisters. . . we keep our eye on the prize. . .being cancer free!
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I was diagnosed April 23, 2011 and finished 14 weeks, 4 rounds of A/C followed by 4 rounds of Taxol on Sept 16. BMX with immediate reconstruction is scheduled for October 28, 2011. The Onc, BS, and PS all wanted me to have 4-6 weeks post chemo to build my strength up before surgery. I am to have an MRI and PET scan tomorrow and I'm certainly praying they show that the chemo has done it's job and that the cancer has not spread. The Onc seems to feel that the tumor has shrunk but I want the definate evidence.
Denise
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Thank you Kelley, my surgery sister! Hate that we have to do it, but we will get through it together! Just know I will be there with you holding your hand. Mine is at 11:30 am. What time is yours? DUKES UP....I was so worried about telling my 12 yr old daughter that I made myself sick. This is a kid who asked me if I was going to die when I had a bladder infection. We sat her down and told her the truth, and told her I am going to live to see her have babies, and so on and so forth. She was upset, but over the next few days, she found her comfort level with asking me questions, and I have answered everything honestly. She is WAY stronger than I gave her credit for. Kids bounce back ten times faster than we do. It will bond you in a way you never thought possible, and it will also let him be a part of your recovery. Good luck, and I know you will do fine. I will praying for you.
Blessings,
Shannon
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Good Evening October Crew!
Got a call from my PS office this afternoon. Apparently, they forgot to schedule me for the "educational component" appointment regarding my tissue expanders. Not sure what this entails, but I said "Sign Me Up!"
Judy67~ I'm gearing myself up to sleep in a recliner for the first week or so. I'm such a belly/side sleeper that I know I'll be miserable attempting to sleep on my back in bed, VERY sweet that hubby wants to put a recliner in your bedroom
SLOGeekO2~ Hi there! Glad you posted with us. I'll be thinking of you on the 4th.
SlgarciaO5~ Thank you for sharing your experience re: telling your daughter. I'll report back just as soon as the deed is done
Are you having a BMX? I see that your surgery was scheduled quite quickly...rk85~ Thank you so much for your support. My son just turned 11 in August. We're still working on the logistics but we're hoping to have him stay with my best friend the night of my surgery so hubby can stay with me at the hospital. I love what you wrote about our kids reacting to our emotions and how we present the information. So very, very true--- and I needed that reminder!
Kelleyod~ Thank you for cheering me on re: "the talk." I know you're right in that I'll feel better once we share this with him. And oh, I hear you on the "cancer diet." I've heard plenty of these comments too even though I'm typically quite lean year round. My best suggestion (one that I'm always offering to my clients who are in need of increasing their nutrition) is to become best friends with your blender. Do you enjoy smoothies? You can make some amazingly nutritious and FREAKIN' YUMMY concoctions in a jiffy
I've been making mine quite calorie dense so I can maintain my weight before surgery. I'm happy to share some of my fave smoothie recipes if you'd like.. deniseday~ Good luck on your MRI and PET tomorrow. I totally understand wanting to see evidence of shrinkage too. Please keep us updated as soon as you can.
On a very much lighter note, who's watching Grey's Anatomy tonight?!
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Hi there. Yes I am having bmx. My docs have moved very quickly....thankfully so I don't have to sit around and wait...which is the worst. I have lost 9.5lbs since the 7th. Can't hardly eat anything my stomach hurts so freakin bad all the time. And whatever I do eat goes right through me. Gotta get off this roller coaster!!!!
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slgarcia05~ As much as this whole experience sucks the big one, I'm so glad that you're not having to deal with a long wait on top of it all. I can fully relate to the stomach/digestive issues you're having. Unpleasant would be an understatement! BTW, I absolutely love the quote on your posts. Now I'm off to find my broomstick...
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LOL. My best friend sent me that one! Makes me smile every time I see it!
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Trinity and rk85 - Thanks for the reassurance. The breast coordinator seems to be off to a good start. She left voice mail that the doctor's office would be calling me tomorrow about testing and that he would contact my Dad (I would have thought that a surgeon would show some courtesy to a fellow physician... my Dad's a retired gyn and I don't think I've ever seen him feel so helpless). I did call the BS office as well, and she mentioned the breast coordinator was on top of the testing. I forgot the BS was moving offices, so I have a feeling I may have gotten lost in the paper shuffle a bit. I made a point to mention that no one had even told me about the breast coordinator, and that I had found her on the hospital's website, and she did apologize. So yes, I'm unleashing the assertive part of my and will push ahead.
It is so strange how different everyone's treatment plan can be. I know they always say everyone's case is different, but there still seem to be many different ways to approach it. One friend of mine who is a cancer survivor (uterine and melanoma - just declared cancer free after five or so years the other day!!!) said doctors triage their patients - if you're an advanced stage or in poor shape, they treat you first, whereas if you're an early stage, young and in otherwise good health, they feel you can take your time. It's interesting that as we've learned to 'manage' (I have a feeling I will grow to hate that word) cancer, including mets, there's less of an urgency to rush and remove it. I realize finding out before or after surgery that I may actually be stage 2 or 3 (or...) doesn't mean it's the end, but I personally would rather jump on this in the hopes that it is still stage 1 and not give it any chance to get adventurous.
As for the cancer diet, same here. My appetite has been non-existent, though I still manage to wolf down anything chocolate or sugary. Since I've been working out more trying to improve my strength for better post-op recovery, at one point I had lost about 5 pounds (for me, that's a decent amount, as I'm usually 117-120). It was nice to fit into a pair of pants without the button straining - BUT that also meant that since I'm hoping for a DIEP, I was potentially watching myself go from a future B cup to an A. Urgh!
Trinity - Good luck with your preparations. It's been great to read the September mastectomy thread and watch those great women make it through their surgery and really rally very quickly. I'm sure you'll do fine, as well as the rest of us in October 2011.
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Well ladies, day one post bmx was really tough. Mrs. Clams was tired, sore all over, cranky, uncomfortable, you name it. Having her period didn't help and neither did having an inattentive nurse. Plus the hospital is loud and they check her flaps hourly, so getting any uninterrupted sleep was impossible. But there were some positives - we got her face washed and teeth brushed, we got her switched into a private room (that's huge), she got out of bed and into her chair for two hours, and both of her docs came by and said everything looks great. Since she's in a pvt room, I can sleep here tonight and that's good - except it means no jack and diet tonight.
Oh and the kids are doing great at home.Hopefully things improve tomorrow.
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Hi Clams. I haven't "met" you yet, but I have been following, and I am glad to hear things are ok. Gives me hope for my BMX in 11 days. I will be praying for all of you.
Shannon
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Mr Clams - glad to read that Mrs Clams made it through ok. Thinking good thoughts for all who are preparing for surgeries next week. So, I finally received my surgery date - October 21st. The waiting has been killing me! However, my surgery is nothing in comparison to what most of you ladies are preparing for.
Although I don't have kids and don't have to try and help a child understand cancer, I have been struggling with how to tell my Mom. My sister died from cancer several years ago and my Mom never really got over that. Also, my Dad died last year and my Mom has been very depressed and lonely ever since. I'm pretty sure my "news" would just send her over the edge. My plan is to tell her after the surgery once I have a definitive future treatment plan in place but I'm struggling with how to structure the conversation. Ay helpful hints? If I could hide this from her I would but there is nothing like a bald head to expose my secret.0 -
BMX scheduled for Oct 7th with immediate reconstruction with TE. Yes, I am terrified. Praying for all you. Good luck ladies.
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mardibra - sorry to hear about your difficult situation. I think you're right in waiting until you have a decision and plan in place. As hard as all of this is on us, I think once we've got our mind in the right place, we're actually in a better position than some of our friends and family in dealing with this. If she sees that you're strong and facing this with confidence, that may be the best way to present it.
Mr. Clams - glad to hear things went well and are moving along.
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Mardibra, you know your mother best so let that be your guide. My parents are in their 80's. My younger sister passed away after a brief but awful battle with uterine cancer this past February. I dreaded telling them about my bc. I decided to be completely honest but very positive with them. Once they got over the initial shock, they handled it better than I expected. I know they are upset and worried and I am sure they are scared that history might repeat itself but they would be more upset if I kept things from them. My sister's husband was very secretive when she was ill and this made things worse for them. Caryn
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Hey mardibra and slgarcia - my advice for your bmx (yes i'm only an observer, but by now I've observed a lot) is to get TOUGH and go in with your chin up and game face on. They got Mrs Clams prepped and under the general anesthesia pretty quickly and even though she was awake in post-op and for much of the evening, she doesn't remember any of yesterday after being prepped at 7:30am. As for the next day (today for us), expect it to be hard and just will yourself to get through.
Mardibra, that situation with your mom is brutal. I'm generally against family secrets and withholding of medical news, etc, but in your case delaying the disclosure for as long as possible just might be the best thing for her. When you do tell her, do it in person, not over the phone. And make sure you're convincing as all hell that you're gonna be OK. Good luck...
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Thanks Mr. Clams. That is great advice, and nice to hear from a husband. Praying for a speedy recovery for your beautiful wife!!!!!!!
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Yes, I did tell them in person. They live in NJ but were coming to CA for my daughter's engagement party. I guess the blow was softened by the fact that my older daughter had just found out that she was pregnant. Mom, dad, we have some good news and some bad news... Caryn
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Mardibra, I don't know if this will help or not but I also was concerned about telling my mom. There is no family history and at age 32, my diagnosis came as a shock to everyone. Her brother had recently passed away suddenly and she's had her own health problems including depression.
I didn't know how to tell her but like you, I knew I HAD to. I ended up just stating the facts - when and how I was diagnosed, what the next steps would be, and that I didn't know anything more than that. She freaked out and my dad took her home without further discussion, but later that day she called and we talked about it. For her (and for many of us), the initial shock makes it nearly impossible to hear anything else. In hindsight, I think I gave her the opportunity to digest the news a bit and come back to me when she was ready. In other words... keep it simple... she will let you know as she is ready/able to hear more.
We had no choice but to accept the news like someone pushed us off a dock into freezinng cold water... but with those we love, we might be able to make it easier by allowing them to wade in gradually. Bad analogy but I hope you know what my tired little brain is struggling to say.
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