Starting Chemo in Nov. 2011...anyone else?
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Beth - Your husband is absolutely correct ... in a few months, all of this will be behind everyone ... it's only temporary (although "temporary" can sometimes feel like an "eternity" while you're going through it)! And, then you can celebrate and go on that cruise!
Lory48 - Do you start treatment on the 15th also? I wish I could offer you some comfort, and inspiring words of wisdom to help with the anxiety ... but, I'm suffering too!
I've read and heard so many inspirational quotes regarding how to be strong, etc etc... but, you feel what you feel ... and, you deal with it in your own way ... I have had some success with mindfulness techniques though (i.e. meditation) ... trying to focus on positive things, rather than the negative ... easier said than done, I know ... However, in my journey thus far, I've learned that I need to take "ME" time quite often ... and, learn how to say "NO" to others ... I'm a very loving, nurturing, compassionate woman (as most women are), but sometimes we just need to take care of ourselves from time to time ...
Love~Peace~Joy
Trinity
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Hi Ladies!! Had a great weekend...my daughter came for a visit for the long weekend with the three grandkids (10, 4 & 3) Had a blast and am totally wiped-out; but in a good way! They just left for home , 4 hour drive back to to CA. Wish I could have bottled some of that energy to have on hand :O)
Next AC treatment is tomorrow morning and I hope SE are similar to first treatment. Will let all of you know. The hair is going-going-gone!! I was right on schedule for that; shedding began 2 weeks after first treatment and took about 5 days for "complete shed". I really babied it the first 3 days but after that it is a losing battle! I don't look as bad as I thought I would!
Hugs to all OXOXOX
Kathy :O)
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GrandmaV, I have had a lot of gas too! Glad your stomach has calmed down a bit..I know that can be really annoying, cuz I have had stomach issues my whole life!
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linnyhopp:
Did your DR give you an Ativan script? If so, you might want to take one 1/2 hour before bedtime to help you sleep with the steroids. Works like a charm.
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It is so great to find so many women on similar paths with me right now! My anxiety is starting to really get the best of me. The unknown of chemo to come is just (insert expletive)!!!
I know each of us will have different experiences, some dreadful, some good days & some bad days, and some won't be "that bad", but each of us will go thru this together and that means a lot to me. Knowing that I'm not alone is a great comfort to me. I love to read about each of your experiences, good and bad. It helps me prepare for the worst while still hoping for the best. Hope gets me thru a lot of tough times. Definitely not over rated I thought after my mastectomy I was done, no chemo or rads needed. The mastectomy was suppose to be the hard part! I made it thru that without losing spirit and I'm hoping I can make it thru chemo with the same attitude. I will have bad days, but I hope that the majority of my days continue to be good days Now I've said my positive points....time for me to complain....;)
My chemo port was put in Tuesday. It's actually not in my chest below my collar bone like most I see placed, but it's at the base of my neck in the soft fleshy spot above my shoulder as it traditions to my neck. You can see the catheter run across the base of my neck. Lovely My surgeon said that it would be less chance of infection and blood clots located there. There also isn't much room because of my tissue expander filling up high. He also informed me I'm only 1 of 2 women he has done this on....can anyone say guinea pig?! (I should change my screen name!) anyway, sometimes I get a burning sensation thru it. Almost like a bee sting. Anyone have a similar experience or hear of such?? 0 -
As I read everyone's posts I wish there was a "Like" button on each of your comments like on FaceBook. I find myself wanting to hit "Like" all the time! LOL!
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Sushane: Onc gave me a prescription for Ambien. Not sure if I will use it tonight. As I said in one post (at least I think I did), I am also finishing up on a prednisone descending dose and onc wanted me to do both that and his prescrip, so not sure anything will help with the sleep thing this time. Oh well, I am sure I will catch up on sleep this week after the chemo. Good news, bad news thing for sure. Thanks for the tip...will be taking that Ambien tomorrow for sure if no sleep...zzzzzz!0
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Hi everyone, welcome to all the new ladies!
GrandmaV, glad you're feeling better and keeping your sense of humor. You cracked me up with your stinky gas comments!! I had thought I was the only one!!!! I could barely live with myself for the first week and actually had to go outside in the yard to spare my family!! They would say "Mom, chemo fart!!!" It's either laugh or cry and laughing feels better. Thanks GrandmaV!
Beth, I'm also dealing with the sore mouth and sore throat. I think it's going to be my thing. I've had very painful mouth ulcers and am planning to ask for a prescription at my next treatment. They have something called swish and swallow.
Linda, I also live in San Diego. We hiked over at Torrey Pines today and it was just glorious. We're so lucky to live here!!
Kathy, I'm day 17 today and my hair is coming out in fistfuls. It started about 2 days ago. You said yours was all gone in 5 days. Did you end up buzzing it, or did it just all fall out? I don't really want to shave my head, as I'm afraid it will be too itchy. This part is hard and right now I look like a scarecrow!
I agree with all of you on the motivation. Some days I just don't feel like doing anything and other days I want to just keep going and going, no middle ground .... strange. I've enjoyed the last few days of feeling normal and having some energy and enthusiasm. We had a lovely evening with all the family here for dinner. These moments seem more precious than ever. I go for treatment #2 on Thursday. Not looking forward to the SEs now that I know, but also excited to get another one out of the way. Stay strong sweet sisters and have a great week. xoxo
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linnyhopp, Our thoughts are with you tomorrow for your 1st tx.
Kim, My port is lower than yours and after my herceptin Friday it's been a little tender. But right after I got it I would notice a little pain now and again, and I attributed to the fact it may be pressing on a nerve. I don't really know though.
I've had a pretty good day. Took my dog for a little walk. Still on the Brat diet. Nothing else seems appetizing, plus I don't want the Big D to come back. Good night all.
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Hi Tipnas! Regarding the hair.... I was in the shower for a good long time trying to grab everything before it went down the drain. Then while it was wet started to comb out the snarls and that did it! Coming out in handfulls. Horrifying and Hilarious at the same time! I had a few "strands" left so I just cut them off at the scalp. Now I have peach fuzz and my scalp hurts (like a too-tight pony tail) 2nd AC treatment is tomorrow (11/14) so maybe that will take care of the fuzz! Still have my lashes and brows :O)
Kathy
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Tipnas: Bet Torrey Pines was gorgeous today. Loved the sky after that nasty rain yesterday. We had a family birthday to celebrate or I would have been over at the coast enjoying the view. We live in Escondido...where are you?
GrandmaV: Thanks, again, for the encouragement for tomorrow. First one less than 12 hours from now. You guys have inspired me to believe that I will get through with whatever SE's come my way. I told my MO that I am a vomit-phobe, so I hope those drugs he gave me will work. Trust me, if they don't the phone will be ringing in his office pretty fast! LOL! Take care, and hope the BRAT diet will only have to be with you for a day or so. I am actually afraid to eat tomorrow. Will be doing bland stuff only...is that a good idea?
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linnyhopp,
I'm thinking of you this morning and hoping everything goes well for you. I'm sending hugs and prayers your way, and I'll be waiting to hear from you about your experience today.
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Okay, so this afternoon Chemo 1.1 starts. Chemo 1.0 apparently contained some bad code.
I haven't slept at all because the insomnia from the steriods. I will have to get my Dr to give me something for that. I accept that for the next few months, the pharmacy will be my best friend.
I'm sort of a wreck. I feel fine for a few, not nervous or worried at all. And then I tear up. I'm sure after everything goes as expected today, I'll settle down. I'm just have a hard time facing having another IV started, and waiting to see if I will react. There is a lower incidence of hypersensitive reactions to AC, so that is some comfort.
This time I am writing on my left arm that there should be no BP or sticks. Because during my reaction last time, they were taking BP from the left side, and every 5 minutes. I couldn't breath, so I couldn't tell them to stop. I am so worried that will trigger lymphedema now. I had 16 nodes taken from that side. I know in life or death situations that lymphedema is preferable to death, but I would rather they took it from my leg. Since now I have time to worry and prepare for such things.
Anyways, I'm rambling because of lack of sleep. Maybe now is a good time to clean the house. Give me something useful to do with steroid energy!
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Linnyhopp & Gamergirl- thinking of y'all an any others who are getting ready for chemo today. I hope and pray that you each have a good experience with minimal side effects! Stay positive no matter what! Remember that you're kicking cancer's ass!
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Hi all, thought I would weigh in; I can't find my original post. I'm recovered from my first AC tx of the 3rd, but still have all my chopped-off short hair and don't have any evidence yet that it's getting ready to fall out. 3 more AC tx (every other week) then 12 taxol weekly till I'm done.
I'm scheduled for my next tx this Thursday. Other than some appetite loss and weight loss, nothing dramatic so far. My Onc. put me on a low dose of Effexor to counter any chemo-flashes and I think it also causes appetite loss. I'm sleeping okay with advil PM and melatonin. Only had steroids 15" before first infusion of A, and it did I think cause me to be restless the first night, but I was also queasy even with zofran, so maybe it was a combo? I did okay with neulasta maybe because of the claritins I took.
I got courageous and tried on my half-hairpiece yesterday with a hat or two, and it doesn't look that bad, although I wish the curl would relax a bit. It reminds of of Doris Day, and I wouldn't normally curl my hair that much! Any ideas? It's sythetic, so I can't straighten it.
Good luck to all of you out there going through this..it's tough but my friend who also did the same tx I did said (7 years later)_ it's just a bump in the road...
Claire
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gamergirl, bless your heart. You're one of the bravest ladies on here. I pray that all goes well for you, so you can get on with your fight against cancer. Please let us know, when you can.
Allagashmaggie and Kathy, I think I remember you're having your 2nd treatment today. Here's hoping all goes well and you have minimal SEs.
Lory48, TexasRose,Jadegirl, racerdeb, and trinity all start tomorrow. Hope it is a smooth experience for you all and the side effects are the tiniest possible.
Dtholden, How are you? Have you had your second treatment, yet? I hope all is well with you.
10 th day after 1st tx and I feel almost normal. I slept good, and I ate a normal breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast and coffee. It even tasted good. Hope today finds everyone else doing well.
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linnyhopp, I think a bland diet is a good idea. That's what I plan on doing for my next treatment. I'm going to start out bland and stay that way for the first 10 days. The first treatment is kind of big science experiment for each one of us, to see how we react to the chemo. After that you know a little more about it.0
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Good morning Ladies, another week, hope it's a good one for all! Lots of us have treatments this week!
Gamergirl, like all the other ladies I will be thinking about you and praying for you this afternoon. I hope all goes well for you. I'm sure they'll infuse the meds really slowly and be watching you very closely. Hope you get extra VIP treatment!! You are very strong and an inspiration. Let us know how it goes.
Linda, all the very best today too. I hope all goes well.
Kathy, thanks for the hair advice. I think I will have to bite the bullet and get in the shower and "scrub" my head today. It's just falling out everywhere
( Hope all goes well todaywith your rxGrandmaV, it sounds like your on the upturn now. Enjoy feeling good!!!
Claire, good luck on Thursday, I'll be in the chair too!
All the best to everyone else and thanks for all the sharing and encouragement on this journey. xoxo
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GrandmaV - Thank you so much for the support and encouragement! I'm actually sitting here having a panic attack, and crying about the chemo starting tomorrow ...
And, I can't find a wig, and I'm crying about that too ... in fact, it doesn't take much to make me cry these days ...
Recently, I read about all the SEs from the hormonal therapy I'll be receiving for 5 years, and since then I've gone into a downward spiral with the depression ... initially, I had been thinking that I could get through the chemo and Herceptin for a year no matter what ... but, when I read how awful the SEs from the hormonal therapy are, I almost lost it ... It sounds like I'm going to be really ill for 5 years ... how am I suppose to deal with that? I don't have a coping mechanism installed for that one!
Sending out thoughts and prayers to everyone!
Love~Joy~Peace
Trinity
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sueshane, I forgot to ask, how is your arm? It sounded painful
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Trinity, you are so brave! I cannot even begin to look at the list of SE that hormonal therapy will possibly bring me. Being a nurse I know way too much already
I literally have to take it one day at a time. I too, am anxiety prone and as you know cancer is filled with lots of unknowns. It's a crap shoot that I'm trying to come to terms with. Have a good cry today. I guarantee you'll have new strength tomorrow. 0 -
trinity, You're having such a rough time. But it may not be as bad as you think and it is temporary. I've known just as many women maybe more who don't have SEs from hormonal therapy. We just don't know. And I've read about a few who did have bad SEs and the doctor changed their medicine to something else, until they found something they could take. I'm going to have to do it to and I'm a worrier, so I have to make myself focus on what's happening right now and get through one day at a time. You're doing the right thing as far as fighting this cancer. . Please don't let worry about tomorrow rob you of your love, peace, and joy today. After all none of us can live but one day at a time anyway. So let's make today count. Every time I look at your sweet picture, I think there's a beautiful lady who is stronger than she thinks she is. We're all with you and understand how you feel. I wish I was close enough to go with you tomorrow, but I will be with you in thought and prayer. Keep the faith. You're going to make it.
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Hi Trinity, I wish we could reach out and hug each other in person, but I'm sending you a cyber hug. Anxiety, as I know from personal experience, is a horrible thing and anxiety and fear can incapacitate us and make us feel awful along with everything else we're dealing with. As everyone here says ,the waiting and anticipation is the worst part. Tomorrow will be here soon and you will start on the next stage of your journey towards being cured. I was quite aprehensive and the first day of treatment went well and was actually quite relaxing. Do you have someone to go with you and a good book to read? Perhaps you could ask the dr for something to help you with your anxiety while you're going through treatment. Also, remember we're all different and we all react differently to treatment. You may not have too many side effects at all. Also don't overwhelm yourself with worry about the SEs from hormonal therapy, that's a little way down the road, get through the chemo first . I have several friends who are 5 years out and did fine on the hormone therapy. When things settle down, it might help to join a support group in your area. I'm going to go to a meeting on Wednesday. I think it would be very helpful to actually meet ladies who are going through the same thing. Our friends can are great and supportive but they don't understand all the physical and emotional stuff we're going through.
From your photo, it looks lke youhave beautiful hair, so I'm sure the thought of losing it is very hard. I'm "shedding" at the moment and hate the though of losing my hair, but there are some really great wigs out there. I'm going to pick mine up this week. I've also got some really cute hats. I'm looking at it as an opportunity to make a fashion statement! I"m not sure if you've heard of the Look Good Feel Better program run by the Anerican Cancer Society, but that is also a really fun thing to do and they give you some really nice make up!
I'm not sure if you pray, I do and it brings me a lot of peace. Meditation and mindfulness techniques also really help. Also, be kind to yourself, you are going to a tough time right now, but this too shall pass. At the end of the day attitude is a large part of the battle and sometimes when we're scared and anxious, it's hard to stay positive but it does help. Here is a quote by Charles Swindoll that really helped me:
" We cannot change our past .. we cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude ... .
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
And so it is with you .. we are in charge of our attitudes."
Trinity, you will get through this and not only will you get through this, you will also beat it. You may not believe it now, but there will also be a lot of blessing that come of ot this. I will be thinking about you and praying for you tomorrow. You're not alone, there are alot of wonderful and brave November ladies on this journey with you. Take care and God bless. Let us know how it goes tomorrow. xoxo
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Back from chemo, and it FINALLY went my way. NO problems at all. My vein held up fine for the AC, so no port needed. I'm on all those beautiful anti nausea meds. Tomorrow, my husband will begin injecting me with the neupogen shots for 7 days.
I'm optimistic. Of course, no SEs yet, other then the flushed red face from the steroids.
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Gamer girl- so glad to hear your treatment went well! Fingers crossed your SE will be minimal. I'll be getting AC starting on Thursday. I'd love to hear about your experiences along the way. I hope you'll be able to get some rest tonight. You've had quite a time before, hopefully this will work out just fine for you!
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gamergirl, great news. I'm with Kim, we're all hoping it continues to go your way.
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Tipnas:
Thank you for your concern. It is still very dark red- hurts a little but looks as if I am on the mend. Hoping I have a better experience next week with my second treatment.
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Gamergirl-
So glad you had goodluck today! You deserve it after what happened to you!
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Gamegirl ~ So glad things went better for you today!
Kim 137 ~ Got through the first treatment. Have also posted on the Taxotere, Carbo & Herceptin thread that all went drama free and I am glad of that. It was a very long day at 6 1/2 hours, but I am glad they went slowly to make sure I could handle the drugs with no bad effects as they entered my system. I told those rotten HER2 buggies to look out cuz the stuff is coming in to kick their butts! I also apologized to my hair as the Taxotere went in,,,yes, my husband did roll his eyes at that one!
GrandmaV - Am eating bland for awhile for sure. Not sure how long to take the anti-nausea meds as a precaution. I asked on the other board, but if anyone has an idea or can tell me what they are doing, I would appreciate it.
Hoping for no side effects for all of us and especially for the newbies who start this week! Thanks to all again for your cyber space caring and hugs. Hope I can sleep tonight, too, from all the steroids running through my system. Last night was not good for that...reading until at least 3 a.m. is not starting out rested. Hope I make up for that tonight.
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Linnyhopp it is so good to hear from you and know that you're in good spirit and doing well! I will also say I'm sorry to my hair Thursday and they start to run the chemo thru my port. I had long hair down my back until I chopped it all off last week. I hated it this short, but I know in a few weeks I'll be missing this pixie 'do! BUT it is just hair and it will grow back!
please keep us posted on your SE's and more importantly how you are doing in spirit. Try and rest tonight, if the steroids will allow you to. 0
