February 2012 Chemo
Comments
-
Gritgril - Exactly, this is where we actually get to do something to fight our cancer...up to now everything seemed almost passive - get injected with this dye for that test and then that test, wait, worry, wait, worry...show up here get knocked out, wake up with incisions. This - chemo - I get to do.
Lisak - I havent heard that at all. I was just told to drink a ton of water. I easily drank 2 gallons day 1-3, I still drink a lot but not as much. Is there something else that the drip does?
Myleftboob - hopefully you don't have a reaction, but if you do it will be great to have someone there. If you don't, you will likely put your loved ones minds at ease because it is an unknown that seems so scary. If you can sit with them, talk and play cards they will have less anxiety. I know it isn't up to us to ease everyones anxiety, but if I can make it stop I want to...I hate everyone worry so much about me.
0 -
dltnhm...i cannot begin to count the number of ppl who have said the same type of thing to me-about hair loss!!!! and i come back simply with ...it's going to come out and even if it wasn't, it was time for a cut; it will grow back!
WHY does everyone seem to think that they know more than my docs, the research and all of the wonderful gals who have gone before me/us??????
personally; and maybe i am in denial, i STILL look at hairloss as the least of the SE's from my sooncoming AC tx.
0 -
I have to admit, my very first reaction to my diagnosis was that I don't want to die, the 2nd was I don't want to lose my hair. That was a long time ago (well, really only 3 months ago), but I was so freaked, so unaware and so uneducated about breast cancer. A lot of people are still in that place because they aren't going thru this, and they think they are helping to ease our fears. I believe I'm ready - ironically what I didn't consider, even tho it is petty is my wardrobe. 80% of my clothes show my port. I'm hoping once the incision heals I won't care, but everyday is a 3-4 outfit change day.
0 -
Hi Ladies
Thanks for all of the encouragement. The hair thing really freaked me out in the beginning too, even more that loosing the breast. I know it's because its so obvious where no one can really tell that I've had the MX unless I've informed them myself. I'm not chancing the cold caps with my luck!! The hair will grow back eventually! I think if I was younger (Im 49) this would be way worse emotionally. While I still have my moments don't get be wrong, I am quite grateful that it was caught. Up here in Canada there's talk about not doing screening for those under 50 without "risk factor:. Had I waited another year, well you know. Thankfully my doctors isn't of the same opinion. My good friend made an intersting obervation, there's a group of us that were out last night and she said, "you know they're saying the stat's are 1 in 8 women will get this DX, It really was a matter of time as to which one of us did" I agree with her, Its not a matter of "why me", its really why not me.
0 -
Dumb question: my first chemo treatment is Monday 2/13. Will they have me change into a hospital gown? Or should I wear a zip/button down top for easier access to my port? Or does it matter?
0 -
Hi Christina
If you meet with your MO beforehand, he/she may want you in a gown to check you... But for the chemo, you're fully dressed and most likely will be lying in a recliner type chair. Wear something comfortable and warm and bring a throw or blanket in case you get cold and want your own.0 -
Not a dumb question christina0001. I never even though about it.
momof3boys
Thanks for the tip. I have the perfect blanket that my mum knit for me years ago. I can't imagine using a germy hospital blanket, yuk!
0 -
christina i'm right there with you monday-my appt is at 8:15. i have a PICC line so i just presumed to wear a short sleeved shirt under something...and i'm packing a shawl that was gifted to me
we'll do this together-k? what time is your tx?
*~* ok this should be TWO posts but it's not!~*~
about my hair- i guess that if i were younger i would be more stressed about it- maybe....i do feel that my hair identifies me somewhat.....i'm more worried about losing control of things...and recurrence.....
i've had a very stressful last 3-4-5-6-8 years and i really thought that i was finally rebounding and moving fwd-i was a full time student doing something that i loved, i lived in a pretty nice place,i was looking fwd to summer in the garden, i had a job that wasn't all bad, i had found some friends that "got" me ...
now i'm totally dependent for income and everything else on my ex husband( who is starting to show signs of dementia coupled with major anxiety and depression) with whom i have been living since last march; i am unemployed, i have temporarily withdrawn from school and can't wait to get back, we moved mid january so that i could be with my kids and i am just plain ol lost....
however! my tx DOES start monday and i am quite blessed with caring family and friends and i WILL come out of this on the good side and use this in my schooling/work as a tool.
i am stressed and anxious and do not want to become dependant on the ativan that my doc prescribed; i ask questions on these boards and they don't always get answered-i dunno if they are not seen or not important....my emotions and attitudes are STILL all over the page and ...well- cancer sucks. ppl keep telling me that i am lucky that it was found early-i have had this lump that i know of for more than two years! so i take my punishment---
my absolutely wonderful adult kids are trying to do things to help and i'm glad except that some of what they do really is not something that i would choose---- they are scared and they need to be part and i am grateful that they want to be.....
it's snowing and blowing and nasty out and my stupid dog (whom i love with all my heart) has to go out again.
i do NOT like pink.
nuff said...
sorry i just had to break down..it's been coming along time and i think you all got the brunt.........
0 -
Lumpynme
I don't like pink either!!
I know exactly what you mean too about the stress this all brings about. As we all know there has been a recession and even though I'm in Canada, it still hit us very hard! Won't bore you with the details, we managed to hang on and were about to turn a huge corner then BLAM, I get the DX. So we sat down and have come up with a plan and changing our whole lives. People think we're nuts but I could care less. I've just started this whole process 8 weeks ago and if I'm lucky I have at least a year to go with treatments and hanging on to a pile of bricks when we could be debt free with a really nice cushion and no stress! Priceless I say.
Anyway, vent away, that's what this place is for right?! I can only say to you is if the Ativan is what will help get you through take it and when your feeling better about things, your doc can help you wean off the stuff. You have alot on your plate right now! Sending a big HUG to you.
0 -
Lumpyme - please try again w your questions, everyone is here for each other. I hope you have the exact same experience as i did on monday....very smooth, anxiety free and very relieved.
0 -
Re: the 'pink pee' - for me there was just a slight tint to mine from the first pee during treatment and for about 2 days. As I mentioned I drank gallons of water each day, including the day - even the 2 hours before. Had to go 2x during treatment, don't be afraid of that. You will have a litle wheely thing w your chemo bag that can go w you.
0 -
Lumpynme - I am scheduled to be at the center at 8:30am so I guess I will be starting a hair after you do. I am half dreading it, and half wanting to get started so I can get it over with.
Another dumb question - any advice on putting on the Emla cream? I am sort of freaked out about touching my port site. They told me to put it on thick "like icing a cupcake" and then put plastic wrap over it so it doesn't rub off. I have a hard time getting plastic wrap on dishes and bowls...how on earth am I supposed to wear it?
0 -
I actually just squeeze the cream right onto the port site and then I just put a larger bandaid over it. I put it on an hour before. Works like a charm.
0 -
Oh lumpyme. I am sending you a cyber hug. Wish it could be real but not hurt you either. Sorry about all of the financial issues surrounding your particular place. I cannot relate at this point and I will not pretend and condescend. The closest was when my husband lost his job after 22+ years with the same organization/church and was out of work for months. We qualified for insurance for the boys but slipped through the cracks for us (and no Cobra coverage available). Then I got squished between two. Ehies (my body - not my car). And then dh got a job offer in another state and we were living apart for 6 1/2 mos. it was crazy.
And yet I still believe it was no where near what you are going through. I believe you are so brave and yet I hesitate to say that because it stinks for you to go through any of this. I can't take it away and believe with all my heart in pressing into the Lord but also don't want to sound glib or Pollyannaish about any of this.
Hang in there. Our diagnoses look so similar at the bottom of the signature line so we are in his together in that way. I just knew a month sooner.
Ask away. Sometimes I will ask a question on another place and it doesn't get answered either. I think it might have to do with timing of posts and such.0 -
Faithhopenluv. Thanks for the info re the red or pink urine/pea I intend on drinking and drinking and drinking like you said. And the icechips since someone spoke so favorably about them preventing mouth sores.
0 -
Thanks for this answer too. I am all about numbing that port site.
0 -
Lumpynme. I checked into your profile and read back to see if I could answer any questions from other places or ones I missed on here
That red/pink pea thing even with all the water is wondering me because I read it could stain clothes and I want none of that. I also read 'no tampons' but have not discussed this yet with MO and chemo nurse. Realize the tampon question is not relevant to you. But I am looking for an answer on that one and maybe someone will see this ;-)
I didn't buy any head pads or wig pads or scarf pads. I am behind I think in getting anything in this department.
I saw that you have decadron ordered for a script and I know that is one of mine too. I am not near my notebook right now to check on the other one but it sounds like one I will have also. As soon as I return to our unit I will let you know.0 -
The thought of losing my hair isn't bugging me but the dryness of it now and the fact that my roots are showing is really bugging me. As I told a friend, the last thing I want is for people to see the real color, which is mousy brown shot throught with grey. Finally bought the wig today, so it is ready. Next week I'm getting my hair buzz cut and going to a barber shop since it's cheaper and asked the young man to etch the word survivor into the back of the cut (I know, it won't be there long, but it means something to me). Then I'll start wearing the wig and other head coverings. I'm on about to go to treatment 3 so this will be just before that. I posted a pick of my wig on facebook (anyone want to find me, I'm gritgirl at dcaccess.net). And then a friend posted this in return. Thought it was beautiful.
Breast Cancer and Chemotherapy
Took away her crowning glory
She promised God if she was to survive
She would enjoy everyday of her life ooh...
On national television
Her diamond eyes are sparkling
Bald headed like a full moon shining
Singing out to the whole wide world like
HEY...
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your ex-pec-tations no no
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am a soul that lives within- india aire
I Am Not My Hair
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mop9csVOF6E0 -
Isn't it funny (not ha ha) what gets to each of us? My roots are showing big time and my. Or has faded substantially since Nov. 18th. Argh. LOL. When I do cut it short I think hue root/ other color will be even more pronounced. What's a girl going to do? Said this to my husband last night about cutting it short and the roots and his response was 'Well it'll only be ghat way for about a week'. I popped him with a hand towel. He said 'I'm a guy and I've not much hair left now as it is' . Goof ball. He really is a softie but he does have a sense of humor that I have always adored.
Gritgirl. Love the survivor shave plan. And the words your friend sent. Ia YouTube.0 -
Oh hair, hair, hair! I had a horribly emotional day yesterday that I have boiled down to freaking out about my hair. I am going to cut it short today and I'm expecting to start losing it later in the week. What first set me off yesterday was my husband decided to be a complete prick earlier in the day and really upset me. Then, we go to my son's basketball game and everyone is asking me how I'm doing and telling me how good I look. I have to talk about everything over and over and then say, yeah, I look good now but just wait until you see me next - I'll have no hair! By the time I get to the last person and I tell her I'm cutting my hair the next day, I just start crying. Then my wonderful daughter, who has not heard any of the conversations, but sees me crying tells me how embarrassed she is that I've cried in front of everyone and then presses me on why I was crying. She keeps pressing me as we go to a restaurant and I finally tell her that if I talk about it again I'm going to start crying again and I've already embarrassed her once so I'm not going to again. I then promptly go to the bathroom and cry for 5 minutes. For the rest of the day, I'm on the verge of tears or actually crying, including at her basketball game, though she doesn't see it since she's playing.
Oh, also, my mom decided to go back home - she's been having blood pressure issues so she has to go to her doctor at home. Already on the emotional wreck trak, when she comes to say goodbye, I break down sobbing again because I'm thinking - who's going to take care of me now?? I don't think I can depend on my family to look after to me! They always rely on me for everything so now what? And of course, this bugs me because I have always been a strong, self sufficient, independent woman, why am I acting like such a wimp?!? Ugh, I hate going through this.
Gritgirl, I love the post, and I'll have to keep replaying that in my head this week but I know it's still going to be hard nonetheless.0 -
BTW lumpynme and dltnhm, one of the meds in my cocktail (epirubicin) is bright red and turned my pee pink, but only for about a day. I drank a ton of water so it cleared up quickly and it did not stain my underwear. Dltnhm, my period decided to pay me a nice visit two days before I had my first tx, no one told me about the no tampon rule so I used them - actually took some and changed them during my tx (sorry if this tmi!!). Anyway, I'm pretty sure this will be the last time I have a period for a while, or maybe ever, so it's not something I have to worry about anymore.
0 -
ymac16
I just know a meltdown is imminent myself. My sister invited me today for my neice's 9th birthday. I just so not in the mood to be around a bunch of people and the pitying eyes. I really like her in-laws but there will be about 40 people there and there is no way I'm up to all the questions. I am begging off and will send a gift. I feel like there's so much to do between now and Friday. I'm also trying to keep a cold at bay. I know it's the stress lowering my immune system. My family and her in laws are very, very kissy/huggy and being the time of year that it is, someone else is bound to be sick too. Then there;' my 84 year old Mom who is in failing health so unfortunatly I can't expect a ton of support from her. My MIL is away for the winter and when there here they live about 2 hours away. While she's been supportive on email, her last email to be was, "we'll be back in April, so come visit us when your up to it". I should be in the midst of round 3 so um, I doubt it. Thanks for the offer though?! Jeez could you not come down for a day? I do run everything practically in the house and while my DH is great, he's stressed too. Thank God for my great girlfriends though, they are amazing!
0 -
Christina - did your MO tell you to get the numbing cream? My nurse used a spray - it was great! I had my port installed the day before and was a little nervous. She hit it with 2 sprays and I didn't feel a thing.
Ymac - anticipating the loss of our hair, is hopefully worse than living wout. It will suck, but at least it is done, no more worrying about when, about that first day w the wig, etc. I really feel for you w your daughter. It's hard enough navigating thru this as it is. She's on your side no matter what.
Gritgirl - I forget, are you on a weekly cycle?
My MO had my vit d checked, anyone else? Mine is low and she wants me to take a supplement to protect my bones during chemo and later w the hormone therapy.0 -
I've been checking posts, but not adding much recently. This past week has been the first of my 'good' weeks, which should continue through my next tx on Thurs. That is one advantage of getting tx's once every three weeks, instead of 2 - a little more 'normal' time in between.
lumpynme - Good luck with your tx (and Christina, too!). You're dealing with so much now. If you're concerned about the Ativan, that's probably a good sign that you'll keep yourself from getting dependent on it. And vent away here - I'm sorry if some of your questions have gone unanswered, but feel free to ask again. Sometimes so much gets posted that it's hard to follow every one. {{hugs}}
ymac - Also sending {{hugs}} your way! This is so tough for those of us who are supposed to be 'strong' women. Now is the time to step back and let other people take care of you. Hopefully your family will be able to understand what you need, but you have to let them know that. I had a breakdown at work a week after my 3rd tx because I was so unexpectedly exhausted, BUT I had so much work to do. Fortunately my boss is great and he told me to go home and rest (I still wound up finishing up a few things before going). I posted a 'letter to my friends, or why being 'strong' isn't enough' on the "Help Me Get Through Treatment" section here. Maybe you can relate.
faithhopenluv - my BS suggested taking Vit D (mainly because I'm TN and there's a correlation between vit d deficiency and TN). My MO said she won't test my levels until after chemo. I'm taking a 1,000 unit supplement, but I also get it from my orange juice and multi-vit, so hopefully that's helping for now.
Regarding the hair loss - it is such a blow for us. Somehow, maybe because it was the only SE that I knew for sure I would get, I managed to come to grips with it. That, and the fact that it gave me the chance to become a redhead and try it out. The first wig I got was really good, and yesterday I picked a second one up - redder and shorter (my avatar now). It sounds corny, but losing my hair actually helped me feel that I have a beautiful face - regardless of what's around it. I even had someone tell me that I had great ears the other day (I was wearing one of my favorite hats). That said, I know I'll be crushed when I lose my eyebrows and eyelashes. I've gotten used to seeing a lot of women without hair and they look fine - it's the lack of eyebrows that always gets me.
Good luck to everyone with treatments this week.
0 -
YMAC. What a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day for you! Yuck. I think everyone just doesn't know what to do with us BC women. My dh said something about my mood swing the other day and I kinda yelled at him 'really? Did you even read that book?'. (I checked out a book called the Breast Cancer Husband about 8 weeks ago and he had toldme he read it). I do get ticked at him and then laugh at him too because I know his reading limit when he reads so much for work. Still this MY cancer so it should have a priority. One day he told me I was being a pain in the a@$ and actually that was a good day because we were back to having some quarrels and spats and what not like we have had for 24 1/2 years. I told him "that's me. PITA. I will sign my notes and cards to him that way from now on. LOL.
Sorry about your daughter. Kids are a whole different animal when it comes to this. I know I have it pretty good wih 2 sons in college and a senior in high school. But my senior has his days and they are not always pretty. I keep reminding myself that that was normal for him before so what should I expect? .
Feel a hug0 -
I don't think we can have tmi on here. The more the better. So bring on the tales of red urine, tampons and pads, diarrhea and constipation. And anything else you think needs to be said. I want it all not those side effects necessarily (although I agree wih Gritgirl that then I will know hose bad boys are workin on my cancer) but all the info
So.... My chemo nurse called Fri and said my iron levels were down and did I know that post surgery I was considered anemic - levels at a 7 something rather than a 10? Well... No I did not. But perhaps 3 periods in 6 weeks had something to do with it (albeit only one was really a regular period). I just had to laugh at her. My levels were now at a 9.2 and needed to be at a 10. She told me I needed to take an iron supplement to get my levels up by next Fri and then a bloodiest to retest my levels that day so I will be all set for chemo on the 22nd.
So.... We had just been at a survivorship evening the night before and the main doctor leans against supplements except vitamin D and calcium for women. I know I need to pump up he iron but prefer to go about it more food focused. Husband looked up iron rich foods while I was in Wal-mart and I became a woman on a mission. I bought Raisin Bran, Oat Squares, Lima beans, braunschweiger, sunflower seeds, black beans, and lentils. I was goin to buy spinach but we already had fresh and the frozen didn't pump up the iron near as much as the cereals. And I actually love raisin bran. Did you know that a cup of Raisin Bran or Oat squares with milk gives you 90% of your daily rda?
Long story longer .... I also bought prune juice and dried plums (who are they kidding with that name) and I have been eating iron rich for the last 40 hours or so. LOL. My girlfriend who had. Hemp before told me that citrus helps the iron to process in your body so I have been eatin that too or drinking it. Of course my stools are really really black. I have the most obnoxious gas. And the prune juice is disgustingly sweet to my palate. But there is no doubt that my iron levels are going to rise like crazy. Only question will be if they will turn out to be too high come Friday. And I wonder if I should take he supplement on top of all of this. In he meantime almost black stools are something to rejoice about lol.
Bring on the stories.0 -
dltnhm - I discovered broccoli rabe (how to prepare it, at least; I had it in restaurants in the past) and it's a great iron-rich option. I do take the supplements regularly as well, though I've never had my iron quite as low as yours. Mine seems to hover around 11 with the supplements. And yes, those unusual periods make a difference. My first ER trip was because I got woozy, was having a ridiculously heavy period, and my face was so pale I didn't even have color in my lips. Everything turned out okay, but I've been much better about those iron pills.
Today's SE - major nosebleed. Sigh.... I think it's calming down.
0 -
Hey Ladies - I'm new to this thread though I've met Rachel elsewhere.
I started T/C about 9 days ago and I am back to feeling myself. But I had a breakthrough realization! I was feeling tired, worn out, weepy and depressed 6-7 days after treatment. Then it occurred to me like a bolt of lightening that, because I had lost my appetite and everything tasted rotten, that I hadn't been drinking my normal 2 cups of coffee in the morning. It turns out I was actually going through coffee withdrawal, which was making me feel awful! So yesterday morning I forced myself to drink coffee, the same today and I've had two very good, very normal feeling days. Hope this is relevant to someone else! 0 -
JoanQuilts
I am starting this Friday. The nurse said I may not like the taste of coffee once treatment starts. I was thinking OMG how will I cope LOL!! I hae 2 every morning and then usually a tea of some sort in the afternoon. That makes alot of sense though. I used to be a coffee addict 20 years ago and went cold turkey. It took me 3 weeks to get over the WD symptoms. About a year later I was lured by the aroma at a new Second Cup and haven't gone over the 2 - 3 cup rule ever since. I hope I don't hate it, but if I do I'll force at least one down.
0 -
Hi Joan! Yes, I get around... That's an interesting observation. I had cut back on coffee last spring after a dx of gastric reflux, but I still have some one or two days a week, and haven't yet lost my taste for it. So far my taste buds haven't staged an all-out mutiny - after the first two tx's, there would be a few days when everything tasted like leather or metal, but after #3 so far it hasn't been bad.
I hope both of you keep enjoying your coffee - sometimes it's being able to appreciate the little things during this period that make a huge difference.
0
