February 2012 Chemo
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I love your surgeon!! I was diagnosed 2a 2/28 and am waiting on Oncotype but figure I'll need chemo (43 yo) so I'm trying to see how everybody else has done. I've been able to be strong emotionally until now but I think I've reached the end of my rope since I'm having crying jags and headaches now. I would love to keep in touch. My mom had stage 0 5 years ago but I don't want to burden her with my anger/fear.
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Round 3 in the morning. Anyone else?? What little bit of stubble I have remaining on my head is also growing. It is 2 different colors. New growth is darker. I thought I would get slick bald before it started to grow. This could look interesting! Rash on head finally clearing. Hope this next round does not bring the same!
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Msbelle, my round 3 is Thursday. Ugh, not looking forward to it. Start steroids tomorrow. My daughter wanted to know what project I picked out this time! Last time got two closets emptied out and organized. LOL. Needed fluids and mag twice, but not hospitalizedd, so better than tx 1. Hope this is even better.
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Lumpynme- glad to hear how well the job interview went. It's great to have good things happen during these times.
Love all the funny stories about our hair issues. One of the nurses at work told me that my facial skin looks so good- she said it must be because the chemo took off any peach fuzz. Whatever. The docs here think I look years younger with my wig. Lets all consider ouselves sexy cancer chicks! not sure if this is a compliment or not, but my husband said he is amazed at how I transform myself before going to work in the morning. Do I really look that bad? I told him that at least my hair will grow back. LOL!
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The onc office called and said my vitamin D was down to a 12. They prescribed 50,000 units if Vitamin D2 to take once a week for six weeks. Sounds like alot. Has anyone had to take this amount?
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dipad
I don't even get tested for Vitamin D?? Just double checked my bloodwork too. Another question for the MO.
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dipad - that happened to me with the vitamin D too. I took it every day for a week and then once a week for 4-6 weeks, I think. It was a ridiculous high number like that. Sounded scary but I did not notice any effects from taking this supplement.
What's the deal with Oncotype testing? Is there any benefit in my getting tested at this point? I've read about it here and there on this website, and today at the doctor's (not my onc's) they had a brochure out for it! I picked it up and I'm going to ask my onc about it on Monday when I go in for my herceptin. I pretty much know what treatment options I want after chemo, but maybe if my oncotype came up really high risk, I might want something different, I don't know.
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I feel the same way. I asked my onc about the oncothype testing and she said it didn't matter since I was having chemo anyway. i would have liked to have know my score. I wonder how they test for that and if i can still get the test done.
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As for the Vitamin D I had to ask them to test it. I had it checked back in October when first diagnosed bc and it was low. The onc said so many woman on chemo especially in the winter months have low levels of Vitamin D
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I am a tearful mess...went to the surgeon's office and saw his P.A. for follow up on my port (had a minor issue that resolved by the time my appt came around) but it really upset me to go there. This is the surgeon that did my lumpectomy and had to tell me I have cancer. I think he's a great surgeon and did a great job on my lumpectomy, lymph node biopsy, and port placement... but I really hate him. I know that is totally irrational. And now I am worried if I am going to freak out when I go to him to have more tissue removed after chemo, and when I get my port removed?
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christina
its totally normal to be emotional right now, how can we not be. We hate what scares us the most. Re the port, I have to keep mine in for at least a year for Herceptin but it will save my veins. Right now I hate my RO and I've only ever had one meeting with her. Can you tell I'm scared of doing RADS?
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If Her2 ++ no need for oncotype, have to have tx regardless. I have my 4th and last AC tomorrow. Then next week I have an echo done then start TTaxol and herceptin. I thought I would be having my surgery in August but MO said end of June. How did you all sleep? In your bed or on a recliner? I am a stomach sleeper so I am thinking I might need to get a recliner. I so am not looking forward to having this surgery, I thought losing my hair was going to be hard, (it wasn't) I know it will grow back, but my boobs I thought would be no big deal but not so sure.
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Jap62,I know this seems odd, but I miss my hair more than my boob. And for me at least, surgery was a piece of cake compared with chemo. I just had a UMX with a tissue expander, though. Still mulling what the Final Solution is going to be.0
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I began my second CMF treatment today...third overall treatment Had the chemo this morning and will begin Cytoxan pills tonight. Take another infusion next next Tuesday, and take the pills for a total of 14 days. This past cycle was so much better than the Taxitere/Cytoxan I began with. I had 13 good days out of the 28. You may remember that I complained that I didn't get any nausea meds after my T/C treatment. Today I was planning to talk to the MO about all I had learned and questions I had about my care Before I even had a chance to ask him, it was as if he was prepared. He was absolutely the most attentive today that he has ever been, acted as if he had all day to answer any questions, had the best examination he has ever given me, was kinder, gentler, and I walked out with much more confidence. It was almost like they read this Forum!
The chemo nurse was the same way. She asked me if I had plenty of nausea med. When I said "Finally..." and told her the situation, she said "I should have asked you that first day before you left....because sometimes the doctors forget to write the RX's..that was my fault. If you ever have any problems, you just call ME." All in all, it was a good day. If this treatment follows the first pattern, my 6th day began going "south" on me. The diarrhea and cramps were the worst and just that "queasy" feeling. Believe me, I will take the Zofran now that I have it, and will take the Immodium as I need it.! I had problems through day 18, and after that it was better each day. I"m so sorry to hear some of the SE's you have. I know I am blessed. The MO said I may have some new SE's this time and as it builds up in my system. I have 3 more 28-day cycles, finishing up July 3rd. Then after that the RAD's begin.
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Merinell
I have a feeling both the MO and nurse felt terrible about what happened. At least you now have the meds you need. You should have an easier tme with the SE's now. Perhaps one of them was reading here?!
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dipad - my vit d was really low - i take one pill a week at 50000 units for 12 weeks and the daily 2000 per day......i was really low. I cant remember now but I know I heard somewhere that there is a possible link to low vitamin D and breast cancer. So, load me up - maybe the easiest thing I have had to take for this damn disease.
MLB - I too start Rads in June and frankly it is freaking me out. Not sure how many of us have that as phase 3 but I know I will. I am trying to get thru the chemo without thinking about it. I find if I think of the treatments by phase I can handle each one as it comes. Rads are not til after chemo completion and then I can worry about them.
Got thru the weekend and hopefully I am on the upswing. Was talking to a friend today and was trying to explain how chemo makes me feel. He couldn't understand how sometimes I say I dont want to do this anymore and then a few days later it passes. I explained that on the down days, it is as if your life has been ripped from everything that brings joy and then slowly you get thru it and you can handle it again. When you have the utter mind-numbing exhaustion, the bone pain, the mouth sores and the tasteless sensation there is nothing to think about except the misery. Then you wake up a day or two later and it is better and you can start to struggle back to your somewhat normal existence. Anyway that is how I see the chemo, and believe me I am glad and thank God everyday that I get that break in between treatments that lets me appreciate life again.
Off to bed - (((HUGS)) and small SE to all.
Haven't heard from firstcall.....hope no one completely unravelled him on April Fools Day LOL!!!
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I'm here! I've been doing the slug thing the past few days... T/C on Thursday, and by the weekend, I could barely get off the sofa. I would just lay there thinking....I can barely walk around the house, and I'm signed up for the Boston Marathon in two weeks? Of course, when I signed up, I had no idea what life had in store for me. I have gone to work. Monday, I did a shorter day, wrapped it up about 3, and hit traffic on the way home. I just couldnt deal with driving in traffic, so I pulled over for awhile and let the traffic improve. I wasnt sleepy, I just couldnt deal with traffic. Yesterday I managed to do 30 difficult minutes on the elliptical. Then went to work. as the day went on I felt a little better. I know the exercise helped, but it was torture to do it. By evening I felt well enough to go the the hospital staff dinner. Too bad I couldnt taste it, it looked good. Last night my daughter arrived She is graduating from college, and has agreed to come home and work for me for awhile. I can help her get her feet on the ground, and she can help me get through this. This morning I did 45 minutes on the elliptical, and it felt much better than yesterday. I think the chemicals are clearing.
You know, our friends try to understand, but its hard to even explain. I tell them its like being poisoned. Its not just one body system, its all body systems. The hair, the skin, the GI tract, Cardio, muscular, neuro, you name it, everything is affected.
I am greatful to feel a little better this morning, and I hope everyone is well.
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Hey firstcall
You still continue to amaze me with all you do on a daily basis. I totally hear you on the traffic thing. A few years ago I had a job with a daily commute to downtown Toronto. Mornings were fine but the evening was brutal, brutal, brutal. I can't even fathom what that drive would be like at this time in my life. Don't blame you for pulling over and waiting it out.
I swear every family function I would normally go do has been on the weekend after my TX. I beg off being a little paranoid about my WBC's etc. My SIL in law called me last Monday to say I was really missed which was nice but she eluded to the fact I should really be more available for these things and that my Mom was getting upset. Hello! I got down to see my Mom 2X last week and talk to her constantly. There are so many people at these functions including loads of kiddies and I told her that this is my most vulnerable time to risk infection. My family tends to go a little overboard for all things celebretory which is fine but they are a super huggy/kissy bunch. I told her this strategy has kept me well so far so I'm not changing anything at the present time.
Bear in mind this celebration was for my neices' Confirmation. Church, restaraunt, back to my sisters for the evening. This SIL came and visited me during my 2nd TX and I guess she was surprised that I wasn't lying in a bed in a coma or something during so she figures I'm up for anything. I tried to explain the after effects but I know its diffucult for her to understand. The only thing is she volunteered at her local hospital in emergency for years and was the point person when her BIL and Aunt were having chemo. I love my family I really do, but they can be a bit much at times.
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I just get more and more depressed. I have no energy, everythings about not getting sick so I can get through the chemo, so I'm already depressed.
Then this saturday some woman says to me, "Oh, I know a couple people who are survivining with what you have. I know another lady who was doing well for 2 years and suddenly the cancer turned on her and she died." WTF? This from a woman who has survivived both breast and lung cancer. What do people get from telling someone who is in the middle of cancer about people who have died of cancer? All I know is that statement scared the hell out of me.
And then later that day I came home to find my chihuahua dead. I am beyond depressed and feeling hopeless. I spent Sunday, Monday and Tuesday sleeping.
I hate going through this and I now hate people who feel they have to tell me about every cancer death. Tired of it.
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gritgirl
Oh hun I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved chihuahua. What a shock! All I can say about this woman is these type of people really just need to be told to F Off!! Seriously! What does she have to gain is a very good question. What is it with idiots like this and their lack of descretion and decorum!! Wish I could have been there with you, would have b($ch slapped her into next week!!! GRRR!!
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gritgirl- Dont get discouraged. As an online buddy I can tell that you are a tough fighter. I cant fathom how so many people are so insensitve. Someone from work said to me last week how she joined the Avon breast cancer walk because so many people she knew died of breast cancer. I too was like WTF! So I said to her that I must know more people who survived. Some people just dont think.
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Oh, gritgirl...you are have such a terrible time! I don't know why people feel they have to say anything past "how are you doing?"!! And your poor dog! Hugs, hugs, hugs for you.
jap62, I am also a stomach sleeper and after my surgery I had one of those cushions that have arms attached which really helped. Also one of those travel neck pillows, not the inflatable ones, but the squishey kind.
I had tx#4 (only 2more!) on Monday. Neulasta on Tues. Yesterday I was still on my steroid buzz and did errands, laundry, cooked dinner. Today I'm on my crash landing and can feel the chemo slug taking over.
My MIL turned down invitations for Easter dinner and insisted on cooking so that I could walk over if I felt like it.(she lives next door) I told her that I was out, but she would not change her plans. I'm still out. Sunday is neulasta back spasm day! Wouldn't want to miss that! Oh well. My MIL is the absolute best MIL in the world. I have been married 32 years and she and I have been friends for all of those years. She has been taking me to my tx as my DH is so busy and stressing about work.
myleftboob,
I also am avoiding large family gatherings. We have a big family with lots of kids and kissy huggy(which is usually nice)people. However, after any party I always hear the report of someones kids having the stomach flu or strep or something contagious. So I'm out! Maybe I'll blow up that chemo slug picture and they can set it on a chair at the party with an umbrella drink in its hand!
Hang in there everyone!
Has anyone heard from Ali? Hope she's ok, she was having a very bad time a few days ago.
Judy
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gritgirl-susan...........all i can do is send prayers and hugs to you....losing your furbaby is more than enough without all of the eother crapola you have had to feal with.
mthrdee and mlb --i, too, am facing rads and am petrified of the whole concept---ppl are trying to convionce me it's ok but it's not...i do like mothrdee's approach to try to take it one step at a time....i even considered a MX instead of LX to get away from rads but i don't think that'ds the answer- maybe????????????? i see surgeon thurs next week so we will talk and i intend to read some more- i think MX would be "radical thinking" in my instance tho.
firstcall and others have put it so well about people just NOT GETTING IT about how we feel and what we are going thru. and i feel so much like a traitor-i have been so lucky to have minimal SE's and i feel like i want so badly to start work yet i know that my body is still trying to heal and rebuild.....and i am not done with tx by a long shot...i feel like i am not "sick enough" to be considered sick? does that make sense?
oh-and about the traffic issue-good call to pull over!!!! there are times that i am driving and i feel that i shouldn't be and i have always been "the driver" in the family!
my son is planning a big Easter dinner complete with kids and grands and extended family--i think i will be ok at this point....
ok- some good news --i got "the call" today- i will shadow on the job next tuesday for two hours-that is considered a second interview--i still feel very good about getting the job however, i feel that they are moving so slowly on hiring when, in fact, i could have been earning my pay even today! (ok yea; my need to get moved outta here is THAT strong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). i fear that she is waiting to hire me til after my surgeon appt next week and possibly after surgery-hope not!
DIL worked on a very good letter to terminate our lease but there is a shakey point in it so i am not mailing yet! then there is the need for a deposit as well as rent on a new place! which will be quite doable once i am working! can ya all see a pattern here? when i send the letter i guess i should give the 60 days' notice which gives me time but -wow- there is a perfect house for rent RIGHT NOW! ok sorry to yell!!!!
i have never been a patient person; i try to be.....
i know--i'm rambling and so many of you still are going thru so much....i send hugs to all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Gritgrl sorry to hear about your dog, I had 8 and am down to 5, so I'm devastated when I lose one, there like my babies (yes i am one of those, lol). I'm sitting in chemotherapy now my 3rd one. I get depressed and haven't done any exercise since I started. I do take a low dose of Celexa for depression and that seems to help. I seem to be one of those who gains weight on the tx so I need to get my butt moving. Sleep still sucks but we're working on it. Hope everyone is doing as well as can be, take care. Cindy
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Hi all...late joiner. Neo chemo started 2/3. I only have 3 left! Not easy but not the horror story I thought this would be. I was careless and caught a flu virus and ended up in hospital for 1 day between round 1 and 2. Then quit the anti-depressants and started walking between round 3 & 4 (only on them for 3 1/2 weeks...switched from Zoloft, working well no side effects to Effexor because Z interferes with Tamoxifin - duh, thanks primary care doc and let me tell you, they said no effects if on less than 2 months LIARS).
Round 4 of AC was my best! 1st Taxol kicked my butt with fatigue and aches, gave in and took 1 vicodin yest and 1 so far today...feeling better and I FINALLY feel some shrinkage! Going on a nice vacation 8 days after last chemo...May 10th. Just a smidge over a month away....drag my ass there Lord....get this OVER with!!!
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grit girl: your post about that woman's comment belongs on the "dumbest things people have said thread". Unbelievable. I'm so sorry about your pooch! I love mine to pieces and he is getting up there...he better not go anytime soon. Hang in there...hope you get some nice weather and sun where you are at...it really helps! <:)
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okay - lets play a little game. I would like everyone to tell us one thing they are looking forward to doing when the chemo is over. It is not to be...just finishing chemo is enough for me blah blah blah....I want an honest to goodness thought about something you are looking forward to. Even if finanically or medically you can't do soemthing, give me a dream then. It is such a beautiful day out and we are all so sad after being knocked around with this chemo, it just seems like something light and carefree to do.
Okay - I have my last treatment on April 19th, my Dad's birthday is april 26th. I am flying down on April 30th to Florida and I will be meeting him, his sister, BIL and my sister and her son and we are going to Magic Kingdom for the day. Then back to his house on marco Island where I will be relaxing poolside ( in the shade of course) until Monday May 7th. I can't wait. I miss my family and can't wait to see them. Not to mention I will be smiling ear to ear as there is no more TX to return to.
Okay - who is next.
I know it sounds silly ...but I think we could all use a little pick-me-up for the future.
(((HUGS)))
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So many of my plans are on hold until I find out when I get scanned next (oncologist appt on 4/16) so that's a bit frustrating.
But I do have a tattoo scheduled for 6/2 so know that's in the hopper.
Other stuff I was hoping to once surgery is done are get my nose pierced and go on a cruise. I can't wait for the surgery to be done.
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gritgirl (((((hugs))))). Lumps- congrats, will keep you in my prayers. For all those other chemo slugs out there- happy sleeping~! I go tomorrow for tx 3- it will put me halfway done. Hope I don't need anything other than a bit of extra fluids. After chemo I want to visit my daughter in PA, and to go camping and swim in a lake. That would be fun.
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mthrdee-great suggestion. Gets us thinking of positive thoughts. i decided to plan a road trip with my daughter this summer. We live in NY and plan on driving to New Orleans, Kentucky, Tennesee and than come back up south. On the days I feel down I go on the internet and plan places to see when on the trip. So far got Graceland, zip lining at Dollywood park and going to some crazy caves in Kentucky. Now I just need to find the money!!
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