February 2012 Chemo
Comments
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For anyone currently on Taxol- I will be starting it in a few weeks and was wondering if it's the same as AC where your up 3-4 days on steroid high and than a slug for 3-4 days. since starting chemo I only plan activities on my "good" weeks. not sure if Taxol is similar.
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Hi everyone, well I started to feel human again and my hands were getting better but they took a turn and now are peeling like anything. My eyes won't stop watering and they sting so eye make-up is a waste of time. My hubby told me I was letting myself go because I didn't wear eye make-up.
Walking up stairs make's me so tired and I'm worried about having more chemo because I know what I'm in for. Also I keep thinking do I have a lumpectomy? Also I don't want rads because I think it burns the skin. I'm being such a coward at the moment and want to stick my head in the sand.
Sorry you guys are going through SE and feeling like poo, we are all brave in having to deal with this.
You won't believe what my DH told me (this is what cancer does to people) he wouldn't let me get my hands on my money from the insurance because he thought I would take all the money and leave him.
Yes I know I couldn't believe it, cancer makes you mad. Anyway I have put a large amount into my account and I will spend it. Also I'm having my garden made over and when I'm well going to take the family on a great holiday.0 -
Ok, ali, do you want us all to have a talk with your husband for you? sheesh. and here i was depressed because doinkers keep telling me their cancer death stories. tell hubby to take a leap into a cold lake.
you need support, ms. ali, support i tell you.
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gritgirl - So sorry about your dog. Unfortunately some people are just very ignorant. Sorry you have to listen to that nonsense.
Hugs
Gayle
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And on a lighter note, in my depression last night, I decided I shouldn't be the only bald one in the house. So a bad cut job later, Miss Pearl the Miniature Schnauzer is now a hack job of hairlessness. At least on the head. Poor, poor Pearl.
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Ali
Tell your DH he's very perceptiive. When you say your taking your fam in holiday, are you including him?
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girtgirl
too funny, well not for poor Pearl!
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DH mum and sis can't believe what he has been like, thanks to them he thinks different. He put all the money in his account and I told him if I couldn't get hold of the money I would leave him. We are talking over £ 175,000 so I was getting a bit worried. What gets me it's my money and I'm the one with cancer. What does he think I am, I'm going bald, skin looks twenty yrs older and I have no interest in going out. How the hell am I going to meet another man and want sex when feeling like this. What gets me we are having no problems in the bedroom dept and I think he is bloody lucky he gets so much.
You know what I can't win maybe I will take the money and run haha.0 -
Ali
if the cheque was made out to you how the heck was he able to put it in his account??!!
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And if you're married, isn't it a.shared account. An ex of mine did that to me, discouraged me from seeking medical help because he was sure I'd leave. I did leave, partly because his insecurities were important than my health
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He is a financial advisor and got them to put it into his account because he paid the premium on the policy. He is very clever.
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Well, you can cleverly talk to a lawyer
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I know but he is being so silly and I don't understand why he is being like it.
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gritgirl
Good lord about the ex. Yeah, having him block you from seeking medical advise sure must have made you want to stick around. Men can be such idiots sometimes!
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pearl really doesn't look that bad!!!my poor roxie-cockapoo-i had her shaved one summer-OMG was she ever UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was embarassed for her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
forgot to dream here --- i would love to take a vacation when tx are all done except that A) hubby would need to go with and he is no fun to travel with
we're too poor to pay attention C) i'm sure that i'll be working so won't get "time off"-silly me i took my time off to have cancer!!!! haven't worked since november 28th....D) you get the picture------ seriously- i haven't been able to think much of what i want to do when this is over cuz i know that i want to get working, move and get back to school ...hubby's never been to niagra falls- we could do that in a weekend....i would love to cruise.... 0 -
Round 3 done, no problems so far. When I'm done and if I ever have any money again I would love to go back to Germany, Scotland and Italy. I was in the Army for 10 years and my daughter was born in Germany. I wouldn't take the husband either, we went on a cruise once and he is boring, lol. We do not have the same interests at all but my daughter and I have a blast together.
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Hi All!
Boy I have a lot to catch up on. First, my heart, prayers and sympathies go out to your gritgirl. I know how much it hurt me to lose my puppies so I am so sorry for your loss.
Lumpy - Grats!! I will keep my fingers crossed for you!
7of9- Welcome to our little family
Ali- pardon my language but what an ass! He needs to be supportive because thats what you need.. for better or worse. If he cant then dangit maybe he needs to leave. WITHOUT any money. We are here for you so please lean on us! The lady that I met in the support group? her hands were peeling too. Thats when she got the cotton gloves and put that udderly smooth cream on them then put the cotton gloves. She said it helped with the pain and helped heal them a bit faster.
I have to have rads too and scared of them. My MO and BS said in the beginning they didnt think I needed to have it but the RO said I was in the grey area and she was very concerned about my lymph node even though the biopsy came back neg she said it just doesnt look right. Sooo 6 weeks, every day starting in July probably. I still have my surgery in June BMX and THAT is really terrifying me.
Tomorrow is TX #4. glad to be 2/3 done after that but dreading Sun and Monday when I cant get out of bed and feel horrid!
What do I want to do? Well its not when i am totally done but post surgery and pre rads.. havent gotten the ok from the dr yet. But my dad rented a huge house in Hilton Head for our entire family, bros, sister, dad step mom and all our kids. Pool in the backyard and near the beach. 2nd week of July and I really really want to go. We also had planned to take the kids to Disney World for the first time in Oct last Dec before I found out. Those are the 2 biggest things I want to accomplish.
Good night all and best of luck to everyone! Thanks for being so awesome!
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Lumpy
When you move and get that liitle backyard you want and are doing everything you want to do with work and school, it will be a holiday!
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Hilton Head here I come a week after last chemo...a week before surgery. After surgery I will look forward to my sons 3rd birthday a month later (thank you grandma for offering to host at your house/pool since no way am I hosting this year!) and though I hear it's not comfy, I am looking forward to meeting my new bbs. They are going to look great and be far less dangerous than these pieces of crap that are saggy, lumpy and one of which tried to kill me. They didn't even make enough milk to feed my kid though I tried hard to breastfeed. So long suckas...
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Well, I'm back from Michigan for my FIL's funeral services; it was both emotionally and physically exhausting but the family made it thu OK. Thanks for all of your expressions of sympathy
Gritgirl, I just can't imagine experiencing all the losses you've had over the last years (now including your poor doggy) plus going thru what you are now. You are a STRONG woman and I really admire your fighting spirit. I feel like such a wimp sometimes when I complain about things so thanks to all of you on this thread for helping to prop us up when we're down.
Ali, I just can't believe you have to deal with the shitty husband issues on top of all the troubles your going thru with the chemo! My DH hasn't been great thru all of this but I just have to give him a smack on the head (figuratively speaking) every once in a while to get him back in line..
Firstcall, you amaze me with your ability to do the physical feats. I thought I would be able to continue with my running but it hasn't been possible. I did just sign up for the Marine Corp 10k at the end of October so I have something to motivate me when the chemo is done!
Lumpy, congrats on the job!! Good luck with getting out of your apartment.
A few other responses to posts that I can't really remember who asked the questions. On the "how did you sleep post surgery" - I bought a bed wedge that could be propped up 2 different ways; slept on it for 2 months. Regarding oncotype test - it is only useful for determining if you need chemo so no need to have it if you're on this thread. On the missing hair and boobs - I did stress more about losing my hair than my boobs though I had a hard time looking in a mirror after my surgery (even though I have TEs in). But got over it quickly - I'm married and have my kids so they were really doing nothing for me at this point in my life but causing me trouble.
Now I'm at the infusion center waiting to start tx #4. After this, only 2 more left, finish on May 17. At my kids school gala auction, I purchased a wine tasting for 20 people that I'm going to use as my post chemo party! Then, in June, we're renting a house with good friends on Duck Island in the outer banks of NC for a week, then off to Chicago for a weekend. Lots of fun post-chemo plans for the whole family, plus I'll get my running back on track. Will try to get active and back in shape before my next surgery sometime in November.
Well, wrote a lot again! Hope everyone either gets better or continues to feel well.0 -
Ymac, hope all goes well today. Tomorrow I'm on for chemo number 10 of 12. Only 2 to go after that.
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7of9
Love your attidue girl!!
ymac
I hope now you can focus on your treatment now that the rest is a little more behind you. I know its been rough. Good luck tooday and minimal SE's for you! You're nearing the chemo finish line now!
gritgirl
2 to go!! Yessss!!!
Re what I'm going to do after TX. ALOT of things!! There's so much I'm going to have a hard time deciding for sure. For sure a couple of trips up north in to cottage country. Nothing like sitting on a dock listening to the loons with The Tragically Hip playing in the background, beer in hand , BBQ and a bonfire.(Now I know my Canadian ladies here can relate!)
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That sounds great MLB! I love campfires.
YMac I'm sitting here getting infusion #4 too and finish may17th! We will have a party together!
My best to everyone today!0 -
Good Morning everyone! One week after TC#3 and finally feeling reasonable....
I went for a 7 mile run this morning. Well jog...but I did it.
gritgirl...I dont know why people say the things they do, but it seems to happen all the time. It would be better if they didn't talk. The other day I had someone go on and on about how no one should ever have chemo etc etc etc. I just tuned them out. I already made that decision. I'm already doing that.
Great idea to plan something after treatment. So far, I would say I would like to run a marathon, somewhere I have never been before. I don't know where that is yet.
Looking forward to a good day, I hope everyone is well. I have a lot more thoughts, but gotta get to work.
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I have got some gloves and put loads of cream on so fingers crossed it will do some good.
DH has been to the dentist and had a filling, he can't talk and is in pain.
I can see you all with smiles on your faces like me.0 -
i tend to agree that getting back to work, moving, having that backyard to enjoy, getting back to school etc WILL be like a holiday! being able to set up my sewing machine, do crafts, cook, my genealogy , grave walking ( we take photos for findagrave.com-actually enjoyable -not really morbid!) , grandkid sleepovers--that will all be wonderful to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tho i would love a vaca to a beach!!!!!!!!!!
this morning, i sat and typed up 6 pages of "stuff" to ask for lease termination-coupled with my DIL's research and some mandates i am hoping to get a letter properly mailed out soon and will have to find funds to get us moved....
i just keep remembering that i am woman and i am roaring !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i come from very strong pioneer stock and have always been a strong woman....this crapola with the apt will pass...just not fast enuff for me--ahhh there is that patience thing again...are ya seeing a pattern????
really i am doing better today....found out there is a church service tonite that i should go to- and i need to shop for the grands for their Easter goodies-just a lil something....really don't relish the idea of shopping right now....
best wishes to all in the chair today and hugs to all of you-you are all special to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!.0 -
Ali, you're right, that put a huge smile on my face; I actually had a nice chuckle from it!
JenH13, good to know I have a buddy with the exact schedule! Definitely plan for that party.
MLB, I'm not Canadian but I can definitely relate. I'm originally from Michigan and have spent plenty of days doing that "up north" or any lake setting we happened to be in.
Lumpynme, I'm sorry, but grave walking seems morbid to me no matter what!
So, finished with #4 now. I'm very tired and slightly queasy, about to try to nap. Hoping for good days ahead!0 -
ymac
YES northern Michigan, Lake Huron, beautiful!!! Something about being on a peaceful lake. Ahh!Lumpyne
I'm actually facinated by graves. Being from an Irish backround, its was a normal thing to do growing up to go to visit our relatives graves after church on a Sunday. When I was in Ireland and we were at cemetaries there, I loved looking at the really really old headstones. As a matter of fact whenever I visit my fathers, there is a gravesite near his that is a baby's final resting place. Whether the parents moved away or could never face visiting it never looked like anyone ever came to place flowers. Any time any of us go we always tidy it up and place flowers, always. Poor little angel.
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i wasn't brought up with death and funerals , etc.and this created big problems when my adopted mom died.
when you visit a grave because you are researching or to tend it in memory of someone it can be a good thing. i DO have good memories as a very young girl visiting my g'pas grave with g'ma..(.when she died that stopped-it wasn't until almost 30 years laterthat i found HERgrave!) .
then nothing til i found my birth mother and she and birth gpa took me around-we visited 7 cemeteries the first year and that is how i learned much of my heritage. since then, i have found an add'l 7 cemeteries with ancestors just in michigan and ohio...and was able to introduce my mother to ancestors she never knew of!!!!! and then there are those who were buried in CT or MA or wherever whom i have not visited- that is where findagrave.com comes in--there are volunteers there who can photo a grave for me! and i do it for others--it only takes some time and a camera! it's a way of connecting--not for everyone.... there can be so much to learn in cemeteries- why entire families died in a short time span; names....migrations.....religious info......i have a great g'ma buried somewhere in a lost cemetery in alabama...cannot understand why she wasn't brought "home" to bury and cannot find her...she died before records were mandatory in the state....a brick wall so to speak....it's fun to find famous ppl buried in small town cemeteries...there's a baseball player buried in Lindsey Ohio a very small town! or to find revolutionary war patriots and their family.....i have learned so much about our own country's history since i have started genealogy -wish i had known more of my own family when i was in high school-didn't find birthmom til 2000!!!! and i have relatives buried in Saltfleet, Ontario, Canada and in England etc.....MLB-- where is Saltfleet in relation to you?? maybe i can come visit you after my TX!!!
my oldest granddaughter is still having problems about losing her great g'ma and so the findagrave site that we created is a virtual way for her to pay visits when she can't actually GO to the cemetery. cemeteries are a way for the living to remember.
travelling to visit those places would be a part of what i would love to do when i get solvent again!!!!! ok- sorry! i ramble when i have passion! don't get me started on genealogy or seperating different family members all named the same or about all of the different ancestral societies!
again--this is not for everyone but i find it very interesting! and in a strange way i do not relate it to my own possible mortality due to BC..... i guess i am wierd.
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ah northern michigan...wow- i miss being up there except that i am glad to be with my kids!
summers growing up we had a cottage in lower mich at a lake-my adopted mom's parents had the property-we had to sell it when i was 12- those were the best times! taking lunch out to a piece dock buried in the sand and being surrounded by water for hours! fresh well water; minnows nipping at my ankles!
my second husband owned a home on the Green Bay in Michigan's UP--if i could have kept the house when we divorced i would still be there!!!! we could walk out almost 50 ft before we got to chest high water .....
ok- reality-
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