Why was I stronger DURING treatment than I am now?
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Timbuk, the norco is a nervous system depressant, it only means your heart rate and respiratory system do slow somewhat. they have to tell you that, so you dont quit breathing! it does not make you mentally depressed, per se, just your body functions. for me, i love my percocets because they take away enough of my pain, that i can get much more done. if i didn't take them, then the pain and inactivity would REALLY depress me! I am wondering if you take an anti- depressant, i just had to start one two months ago, and they have really helped, i was extremely down. i hope you are ok, it is a normal response to what you are going through. one woman on here said that it is the year AFTER treatments are over, tht is the really tough one. i wondered what she meant by that: now i know. hug for you
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Thanks Kath. I love percoset but was not given it.
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BosomBlues, oh man, i hear you! i am right there wuith you! its like, it was bad enough just having bc, but all the treatment crap effects are just really getting to me too! i am being followed for metabolic disorder, from my treatment center, cause believe me, they KNOW what some of the treatment after effects are, and i am beggining to display many of them! am not happy at ALL about them! am purely DISGUSTED about them, as a matter of fact!!! if you need to talk with some onre who seriously gets it, including how it impacts your day to day life, please pm me, we can talk! i will give you my phone number there, ok? wow, though, it really does bode well for you that your mom is 88! mine is going to be 80 next year, but i know she is not having much fun. take it easy, and i will check back here in a bit. lots of things i must try to get done today, but i check in at least once an hour! im rabid about it! take care of YOU!! some one told me once, if you are desperately unhappy, try to remember some things that made you happy as a kid. and pick one and try to do it again, because it still has the power to make you happy, now! i have tried it! i climbed up a small tree, with an apple and a book, and i did feel as free and happy as i did then. or walking along the rivers edge. i didnt play with dolls, much, but i am sure it is fun, once me and my boyfriend did play with some stuffed animals, like we gave them voices, and had conversations through them! it was hysterical!!! i am so glad he was willing. i do believe the element of play is NECESSARY, and something we have lost as adults. another friend told me, that if i am down in the dumps and taking myself too seriously, to go and make faces at myself in the mirror, and say what ever comes to mind. and soon i will be laughing at myself. pretty fun stuff. hope your day gets better. as another woman on here said, i have a pretty good track record, 100%, of getting through the bad days. love from kathe
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i too feel **** lost myself, tired of struggling see no reason to continue doing so....
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Bosom - What the F? How could your doctor not believe in lymphedema and still call himself a doctor. Perhaps he would like a photo of my right hand, which swells up like a package of fleshy sausages if I lift something heavy. Time to move on from the old coot, I think.
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Bosom, Lily, and Kath Sorry you are having so much crap flowing in more than one direction! I started a notebook I call my Happy Notebook. I am writing happy memories or verses or putting pictures and so far it has been a big help. Not saying that I don't have bad days or want to throw it! Sounds just like your blessings list.
BB my hair is super thin now but I got a bob cut so it looks a bit better. I do not know the recurrence rates, I guess I just didn't want to ask yet. When I am ready. Also, citalopram is the generic variety of celexa, and that drug is older than and cheaper than Lexapro, which also comes in generic. Sorry to hear you felt bad on it. Hope you feel better soon, and the divorce situation heals in your heart. Time might heal all wounds as the saying goes but whoever had that saying probably wasn't in the middle of lots of stress....
Hugs to each of you. You are still placed on this earth for a purpose so don't go writing yourself off, how you feel is not who you are right now.
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That is sad, BB
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I have ankle bursitis and achilles tendonitis. My onco told me I have osteoporosis (from the arrimidex) so I MUST excercize. So I did. And I was in horrible pain. So he told me "You can't use this as an excuse. You should get a good pair of sneakers." I can't wear shoes with backs! He told me to go to the orthopedist to resolve it. So I went. And I told her what he said. And she rolled her eyes and said "Just what you need, after months of chemo and inactivity, to start jumping around!" She took an x-ray and saw what was hurting and gave me a boot to wear and physical therapy prescription. It was such a relief to be believed and not treated as though I was lazy. Who wants to be healthy more than I do? Drs! Some are just unbearable! We have to advocate for ourselves at the very time that we're feeling the most vulnerable and weak. So hard!
I too feel down, wonder what the fight was about. Before I got sick I wanted out. The moment I got sick I was energized to fight for my life. Now that the fight is over I'm left wondering what the fight was for? I told my husband "We're back in the same lousy life as before." Every night I dream about a different time of life.
I'm hoping against hope that this is part of the side effects. Feeling so weak and as though you can't really do what you want to is depressing. Maybe when the strength comes back our mental strength will return as well.
Sometimes I wonder if the neuropathy extends to the brain.
I'm trying to stay in the moment, just as I did in treatment. I don't know what to do with these bad feelings.
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well, actually, sad to say, the neuropathy CAN extend to the brain, but most chemo's have a really hard time crossing the blood brain barrier, and most of those ones they only give to stage four peoples. but, i think it was janet up above, who said watch out for that second year. i can tell you it is true. we are running on adrenaline, i think, to get through treatment. 2nd year it like WTF happened?? i HaTE those docs who don't believe in "special effects" it would always P me off to no end!! seriously i would get so angry with them! they did not like to see me coming.. the only reason i even know about metabolic syndrome, is that i signed up for a study at the very beginning of all of this, and she let slip the other day, that that is what it is about. fun stuff. now i take welbutrin for depression, a known side effect of a.i.'s. and now, i just found out, my cholesterol is sky high, and it was near perfect 6 mos ago. and, also i was barely osteopoenic after chemo, then i was deeply osteoporotic, now im on prolia. i hurt every single day. and that cause inflammation. and inflammation is very bad for us. SO, i am fighting back! i dont want statins, cause of other problems they can cause, so i am gonna exercise like crazy! drink water like crazy! have fun like crazy! i am studying anti inflammatory diet, and also how to lose inhes off my middle (thanks chemo and femara!)
timbuktu, i am sooo happy you found a doc to listen, they are worth their weight in gold.
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bosum, did they even GIVE you the oncotype test? you were the perfect candidate, im pretty sure!
LiLy55, i love you, i miss seeing you, i dont go to that one thread anymore.
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Friends,
I am just out of the hospital 6 days in there on 4 x daily IV antibiotics and 10 days tablets still to go. I was admitted as an emergency, given IV paracetamol and oxygen. The dx? cellulitus on my mx side. One arm is very bruised and sore from all the attempts to get out/put in something. The other has widespread deep red/purple patches from the infection.
It is near as dammit 2 years to the day of my mx.
I feel now that this breast cancer will never be done. I feel very upset and wondering what the hell just happened??
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Ouch! So sorry! I had cellulitus on my mx side too but just had IV antibiotics in the ER. We have to be so careful! What caused it? Thank God for antibiotics. Really sorry, very upsetting. We're all at such risk!
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o, wintersocks. i am so so sorry to hear that... thats just plain awful for you. was there any small sign that something was happening? did it just come on very suddenly? i am glad you are home now, and i hope the antibiotics finish it up, and it never happens to you again. bleh... were you doing mld? what the heck were they trying to put in/get out of your arm? geez!
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i carry antiseptic with me everywhere, slightest scratch or graze, or insect bite its on there, we are at such risk from lymphoedema and cellulitis, breast cancer the gift that keeps on giving ****
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Bosumblues, I would definitely ditch that doc! He sounds like an ignorant, pompous, condescending a@@. Who needs that?
Winter, I hope that cellulitis clear up! Sounds awful.
I have my MO follow-up on Friday, including labs and mammo. I have no reason not to hope for the best, but still nervous. I'm also going to ask them about switching me from femara to a different AI to see if it makes a difference in my fatigue. I hadn't really considered femara could be the source of my whole problem until recently...looked up the prescribing info, and besides "unusual tiredness" there are also cases of "extreme fatigue". Why had my oncologists, who prescribed this, not suggest that this is what was causing my fatigue, rather than telling me I needed to get my thyroid checked, and should go on antidepressants???
What I find frustrating is the total lack of pattern to my fatigue. I thought ritalin was helping, but it doesn't seem to help
consistently. I swear that acupuncture helped in the spring, but I went
back this month and it seems to make no difference. Sometimes, a meal seems to help, others, it seems like I'm completely zonked after eating. Some times I can exercise vigorously, other times moderate exercise exhausts me. A glass of wine can knock me out one day, another day, two glasses and I feel better than I did all day. Sometimes a rest is helpful, other times, I just seem to sink deeper in to lethargy. If there were any pattern to it, I could adjust my life accordingly. But with no pattern, when the fatigue hits, it seems like whatever I do or don't do has the chance of making it worse.0 -
Because we are missing lymph nodes we are more prone to infection. I had a spider bite in the middle of the night in my finger, on the bc side. I scratched and scratched, big mistake. By morning my finger was swollen and painful and discolored. By afternoon I was frightened and went to the ER. I had a fever! I felt faint.
The infection had gone into my bloodstream. They put me on very strong IV antibiotics and within an hour or so the fever was down. I had to take pills for awhile. But still the itching continued. I told the pharmacist what I was going through and he told me to get Epsom Salts and soak the finger in it. It draws the venom out of the wound. Very quickly the itching was gone!
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bosumblues,
we do not even have to have a cut, sometimes it just appears. I had a minor op and 3 days later, cellulitis. I must confess I have not done any MLD exercises as I was advised to. If you do decide to work in the animal shelter, you need to take precautions.
As Timbuktu and I now know, you do not want cellulitis. I was 6 days in the hospital and I now feel wrung out.
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Winter - Your road certainly has been a bumpy one. Or - as a friend from another thread says - a crazy 'rodeo'. Sort of like getting on a bucking bronco over and over again. I'm so sorry that you have had to work so hard at getting through all the post bc crap. I hope you're resting comfortably,
Janet
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statins are hugely bad for you, your liver, and many other things. just read the patient info. and if you DO have to take them, you should mostly certainly take coQ10 enzyme, that is protective of the heart, or ubiquitol. as statins do reduce them. the statins can throw you into pre diabetis, and sometimes full-on. and with all that CAN go wrong with statins, there is a disclaimer on them, that it is not proven that they reduce heart attacks or strokes! which is why we take them! because of the cholesterol that reduces the chances of you having them! just sick. and, they can cause high blood pressure too. best bet is exercise exercise and then some more. and eating an anti inflammatory diet. losing belly weight by watching carbs and cholesterol in food, and eating more fiber! i know, because at my tx center, i am part of a study, and i just found out last week, that it is about "metabolic syndrome", after treatment for cancer. just great. on 7 months of femara, my blood cholesterol is total wacked out and friggin high! i am sooo Pi$$3D, can you tell? and now they want me on a statin. the only statin that is on the WHO list of top 100 necessary meds, is simvistatin. some people are doing red rice yeast. and moleculary, it is the very same thing, but they say to be wary, cause some women have landed in the er, cause of uneven amts being in a capsule. and, before starting statins, they are supposed tocheck your creatine kinase levels, and monitor that after 4 weeks. statins can cause rhabdomyelosis, which, believe me, you dont want. all this is fresh in my mind, because they want me to start, and i am doing a ton of research. and you should always start with the smallest amount first. my pcp gave me some samples of this one called pitavastatin, and it is the only one that you can take and still eat your grapefruit, or the juice with. and what is so effed up, is those estrogen blockers and my body seriously do not agree, i am in pain everyday from them, and they do take away my enthusiasm and joy and libido. but take them i must, and so more and more pills for me. i have decided to fight back, and i am forcing myself to exercise, even though it still hurts. i was in great shape when all this started too. good bloods, very thin, mostly relaxed, very active and happy. i dont mind the scars, i just like to feel good! wishing us all well.
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Bosum---you are only missing one lymph node.? I lost 8 but thankfully they were all clean.....Hey, about these drugs. The Arimidex can damage the liver, so the MO will do a Liver Function Test each visit. The Lipitor is also hard on liver. The coQ10 stuff is good, if you get a pure form of it. Or so they tell me. Can't imagine what the dermatologist gave you, but I'd reconsider that one if the other two drugs you REALLY NEED can damage the liver. Shit, i think twice about a Tylenol now. My ONC told me the Femara is closest to the Arimidex. I sure hope you get things sorted out. You are a good egg and deserve to feel good. You were one of the first ones to reach out to me when I first posted! Hang tough!
I'm so surprised at everyone having hair loss with the AI's, and I am also a little worried about the posts saying that Effexor is only Anti-depressant that won't mess with the AI's. I have taken Trazadone for years and my MO knows it, and has never said a thing about it. Ladies--can you give me any more details?
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I was told at Sloan that the three anti depressants that don't interfere with the AI's are Effexor, Celexa and Lexapro.
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you mean Lexapro? Lipitor is for cholesterol.
If taking a statin like Simvastatin, ask if you can go on 10 mg every other evening. After 6 weeks get an ALT. After 12 weeks get your lipid panel checked again.
I would take Simvastatin if needed, my husband has taken it for years and been monitored closely. His parents died of heart disease rather young so we are all about prevention with him.
Sorry to hear you had your lipid spike up. Ugh haven't had that yet on Femara but just weight gain that I am valiantly fighting with all I have.....
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Thanks for the correction enjoy. My brain...not the same...
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I, too, went through a dark period a year after treatment and I feel for you all who are struggling right now. I could go down that rabbit hole again at any time.
What helped me come out of it was assertiveness, exercise 5-6 days a week working up to an hour each day, changing diet to exclude sugar (most of the time, and going to a good acupuncturist. I still see my long-term psychiatrist.
I had delayed worsening of neuropathy and the acupuncture is working to improve this. The acupuncturist does electro acupuncture on my feet. He also puts needles in the emotional areas of my body's meridians. Sometimes I feel euphoric for hours afterwards. Other times I just feel positive and relaxed. My feet are getting better. I will keep going weekly until my feet are near normal. Took awhile to find a highly qualified acupuncturist where I live but the search was worth it.
I have heard from two doctors that statins have a positive effect with regard to breast cancer.
Hugs,
Peggy
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Today I read through my journal surrounding the time of diagnosis and surgery and realized that no matter what, I am indeed blessed. While there are no wrong emotions and no one can tell anyone how to feel, there was a nice reminder from my journal just to keep my perspective. It is not an easy road for anyone, and some seem to have so many more complications than others but when you think about what breast cancer treatment used to be and what it is now it is encouraging. None of us knows our future, but we did not know it before. Best wishes to each of you today.
Journal March 23
Goodbye U of Penn
Goodbye wonderful nurses, surgeons, anesthesiologist, cna's, residents, fellows, housekeeping, and dietary. Goodbye breast cancer tissue, powdered eggs, jello, waking up hourly, and lack of modesty. Goodbye courtyard, walking with the walker, two of the drains, worse pain and fear, and gowns with so many snaps that still let parts of you show. I am I hope forever changed and I thank God, UPenn, and all my friends and my dear family especially Jim Shelby and Ryan for holding my head up when I did not feel able to. #soblessedPS Timbuktu, I know what you mean I forget people's names I have known for years....
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I bet you are truly sick of it all, Bosom, you had the other stress on top of this too which didn't help. Good for you for getting the healthy stuff. Hope you feel better soon!
I didn't know you went to U of Penn, who did you have as a surgeon? I had Dr. Wu and Dr. Carla Fisher as general surgeon. Wish we could have met somehow
Not that we exactly were in a social mode then... 
Thinking of you today and hoping you get a break from all this....
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Bosum, they took 8 because I guess 6 of them were in the way of getting to the 2 sentinels. I understand your diet and exercise stuff. I wasn't in to either of those pre-b.c. I do good, then I fall off the wagon. Yesterday, I ate 6 chocolate donuts and I've been in weight watchers since MAY.......I"m down almost 19 lbs from my diagnosis weight, but it could have been lower.
I have a small lake near my Dad's house and I drive over there and walk the path around it twice, which is supposed to be 2 miles, but my pedometer measures it as more like 1.5 miles. But, soon as it got really hot and then really rainy, that stopped. They say 10,000 steps a day. One day, I got 11, 600 (I walked 2miles, went to the mall, came home, mowed my grass (huge yard) and then I went to Walmart and shopped for a couple of hours. Otherwise, I average about 7000.
I have a series of exercizes I should be doing for m y Physical therapy for my arm, they are discharging me tomorrow. Then she said, you need to do these now,for the rest of your life......I am so bummed out, because that takes another hour out of my day almost.
But, you and me both need to realize we have been given a second shot at life, and whatever we can do to make it better needs to be our first priority. That's why my housework isn't getting done,, HAHAHA
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BB your initials are the same as Brigitte Bardot.....I get where you are coming from, totally......its more likely to be a hangover from treatment....I know BRAVA gets a bad Press but I just ahd annother fat transfer and my PS said it had really helped him by making the skin looser and stretchier.....and I onbnly did it for 5 hours a day and then not ever day as the silicone affected me, and it still worked....you can tell its working yoruself when doing it so that could give you hope. I hate pinkness, to me BC is a cold metallic grey, uncomfortable and hard to live with or live past.......I am 30 months out of my surgery and i still really struggle
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They told me that it takes a year and a half for nerves to recover, they are slow growing cells. Only after that time can you tell if the neuropathy is permanent.
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I take vitamin D3, Source of Life multivits chewable version, Liposomal turmeric, indole 3 carbinol, arteminisin, non GMO soy isoflavones (bit erratic with these), Immiflex 2 a day (beta glucans), Boswellia, Salvestrol Platinum, krill oil..........it costs a fortune but I do believe in it........how long I can maintain it i don´t know and it is a real chore taking so many pills....but they are to target all 3 elements of cancer treatment - anti angiogenesis, immune system boosting and cytotoxic. Even with all these the nat Onc insists I stick with Aromasin which really does not like me!
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