Why was I stronger DURING treatment than I am now?
Comments
-
cfdr, that is what bugs me so much! i was ALWAYS skinny, and could eat whatever i wanted, and run around like a house on fire! just LOVED moving my bod! my adult weight was never over 120, and that would usually be around the holidays! mostly about 118, and 5'5 and 1/2 inches! now i am 5'4', i now have a compression fracture, after chemo, and a year of hormonals, and weigh 5 more pounds a month than i did the month prior, no matter how much i move! i hate it! i am practically on a starvation diet, really. i now weigh 142.
0 -
Me too. I was a Skinnyminny but now I am a Fattyhattie. my tummy is the worse, but that will be sliced off fairly shortly for the Diep procedure. I blame the Letrozole.
cfdr, How funny your husband enjoys the English footie my son does too and supports Arsenal. Myself, I don't see the attraction. They do nice beer in America I'm sure? We do have lots of independent breweries here if you enjoy beer. If you like the moors than where I live would en-thrall you. It's very wild and dramatic specially in the winter. I too love Thomas Hardy although his novels were actually based in the south of England and I am in the North and yes Julie Christie was and still is a timeless beauty. If you ever get to come here on holiday, be sure to pop by.
I am always dreaming of a holiday some where hot would be good, maybe Spain. A book and a glass of wine in hand = bliss. But not much hope of that at the moment with the surgery looming. Oh well,
0 -
Are you in Yorkshire?
0 -
winter my offer is still open so long as you are ok with dogs and cats.......
0 -
Wintersocks, I had DIEP a year ago and love the flatter tummy and my new boobs. It's a big surgery but you can do it. Are you following the DIEP 2014 thread? It's very supportive, informative and active. I lost seven pounds after DIEP. I guess there was more fat than the PS needed.....It is so hard to lose weight. I am exercising more and eating better than I ever have before. Not much is changing on the scale or my appearance but at least I am stronger.
0 -
Wintersocks, the local bar (run by a man from Ireland) that my husband favors is host to the local Arsenal fan club. They always have footie on the TV....we went there a couple of hours early just to get a seat for a couple of world cup matches. I don't love it, but it's better than baseball, which he also watches! I count my blessings he doesn't like car racing, because that has got to be the only sport even more boring than baseball!
Also love Thomas Hardy...I've read all of his novels except Jude the Obscure. He's the only one of the Victorian novelists I truly enjoy.
0 -
Hello Friends
Tim - Clever you! ~ yes I am in Yorkshire.
Lily55, Oh I didn't realise you made an offer, I think maybe I didn't take it in as we were in the midst of tx. I would love to see Spain. It is somewhere I have often thought of visiting. Perhaps, following my Diep? I do love cats and dogs, so no problems there. Thank you so much for such a kind offer. x
Jeanne57, Wow, I am pleased that you are happy with your DIep, You are right it is such a big surgery, How come you lost 7lb? was it through trying or was it loss of appetite following the procedure? I was following the 2014 thread, but I got too behind to realistically catch up with everyone. How long before you were back to normal?
Cdfr, How funny to think of a Arsenal fan club, all the way over there. My son lives very near the stadium in London. I went to look round once, If I'm honest it was boring (loads of memorabilia). However, the kids really enjoyed it. I agree that the car racing stuff is beyond tedious. I saw a baseball match when I visited New York, but I really didn't understand it at all.
I too adore Thomas Hardy and I think Jude the Obscure is his best and is my favourite of his books. In fact I might have to read it again! I would love to know what you think if you get chance to read it.
Tomorrow, I have an appt with my GP, for her to look at my arm. It still has red patches, but it is not angry and blistering as it was. I also have to have my liver function test repeated. I hope it has gone from 'deranged' to normal, that is worrying me too. I hope I never ever get cellulitis *can never spell that! again. It was absolutely awful. It is making me worry that I might get it when I have my Diep. I wish wish wish I every day and every night that I never got breast cancer.
0 -
My 22 year old daughter was in Birmingham, England studying art one summer so I decided to read "Tess of the d'Urbevilles". I had to stop. I could not stand the tragedy of it. Maybe one day I will go back to it but I really found it unbearable. I did love "Return of the Native" when I read it back in school. He can make you "see" English countryside.
My eldest daughter lives in Madrid. So many Brits there!
Winter, you bring up something that is bedeviling me right now. The fear. I've also had cellulitis among a what seems like a million other things and I now feel so frightened and fragile. Everything is a threat. When I think of traveling now I just see dangers. Insects. Infections. etc. I wonder if the fears will ever leave? Or if they should? Maybe this is the new normal, we have to be constantly vigilant. Ugh! It's exhausting.
0 -
Wintersocks, Yorkshire, also the home of James Herriott of All Creatures Great and Small. My DH lives soccer (football), too. We saw a match between Manchester United and our Seattle team, the Sounders. My daughters played soccer (1 still does at age 34) so I have learned to enjoy it. I think the 7 lbs. I lost after DIEP may have been extra fat! No other explanation, really. With DIEP the first three weeks are pretty intense. Since my sx was 12 hours, it took a long time to recover from just that, never mind the assault on your body. Ask for help! Recovery time often depends on your general health and fitness, too. I waited 5 months after chemo ended because I wanted to be able to get stronger first. I did lunges to strengthen my legs since you use them a lot to get up and down. Tummy and arms are out of commission for awhile. I had a stage two surgery three months later to pretty things up, then nipples 4 months later, then tattoos 3 months later. My tattoos need correction and one more optional tweak in the procedure room. I have a friend who had DIEP and has had several cellulitis infections after subsequent procedures. Now she gets preventive antibiotics and spends a couple hours a day for ten days in a hyperbaric chamber to ward it off. It has really worked for her and she naps or watches movies in the chamber! Just keep your eyes on the prize but take it one day at a time. Oh, and I will never be back to and maybe never was "normal!" But I definitely feel physically well.
0 -
Saw my PCP yesterday about fatigue, her first suggestion was to try a different aromatase inhibitor! I told her about the onc NP saying that nobody at Duke complains about fatigue this far out from treatment and she just rolled her eyes. She looked it up, and said the rate of fatigue from Femara is 8-13%...but the others were just as bad, or worse.
Got a scrip for wellbutrin, and in a month I'll get my annual physical...she said it's been long enough that it's worth checking thyroid and whatnot again. Have my acupuncture appointment today...she's trying to push some supplements on me, but no way I'm spending $55/month for something that contains "green tea extract" as it's main ingredient. Show me a clinical trial that says it has any value for persistent cancer-related fatigue and I'll think about it...
0 -
Timbuktu - I was thinking the very same thing about traveling. I used to be so carefree. I never had to thing about to much heat or sun or lymphedema or fatigue, or carrying a little pill container with the days of the week. I remember spending six weeks hiking around Thailand, and sleeping in huts under misquito netting, and my biggest worry was finding frogs under the bed. Sigh.
I guess one must be constantly vigilant - but maybe just put it on the back burner with acceptance. And then if I have to be totally honest, I don't even really like hiking. And, I like nice sheets. And the pill container really isn't a big deal - and everybody has their 'baggage', either physical or emotional that they carry around. I can't control my lymphedema, but I can do the best I can to combat the fatigue, and kick the fear out of the way.
A work in progress. As always.
0 -
Sometimes a roll of the eyes makes all the difference!
0 -
So true Tim....so true.
0 -
ok. i just got back from a trip to the big sequoias in the sierra nevadas. the air is thin up there, and i did have a hard time breathing. i didnt take enough pain pills with me, that i take for other reasons, so i could only take a couple each day. i stopped taking my femara for three days cause it has been killing my feet. dropped my phone in the river! but its okay now. so i got back last night, and i realised when i was unpacking, even though it was 100 degrees, i felt almost like my old self! for the first time since all this crap started! i am taking welbutrin twice a day, and i do think it is also helping to raise my energy level, i dont think i could have done that trip at all without pain meds and welbutrin.. i get my port out tomorrow, and i am really hoping i dont end up with a collapsed lung... again. it had collapsed when it was put in. but, i don't know how many more of those kinds of trips i can take either. i did worry about ticks and scratches from brambles getting my LE arm, i used a stick to keep it elevated when hiking. and it was hella hot there too. the river was cold!
0 -
YEAAY way to go Kathec....I carry a small bottle of antiseptic with me everywhere in case hen I don´t worry about scratches
0 -
Kathec, thanks for sharing that. I am afraid of taking even a few days vacation from femara, but I certainly wonder if it's the root cause of my fatigue. I'm on day 2 of wellbutrin...crossing my fingers it will do some good, although today I felt even WORSE than normal.
0 -
cfdr, i hope that the welbutrin does help you. there were days before i started, that i didn't even get out of bed for several days in a row. or out of pajamas. or leave the house. they really have been helpful. As for femara, i did read that it stays in your system for quite a while, just the blood plasma concentrations do get less and less over time. i may change back to tamoxifen. my body just like estrogen waaay too much.
Thanks, Lily! it was a blast!
0 -
I had a moment like that on Saturday but just from shopping at Costco. We were done shopping and were walking to the car and I suddenly realized that I felt "well". The feeling that you take for granted usually. It was a beautiful sunny day and I turned to my husband and said "i feel well!!!" It was such a shock! And then I thought, what a year this has been, that feeling well is a shock. Then, of course, I started to feel unwell. Tons of aches and pains and terrible fatigue. But there was that one moment. I'm hoping it will come again, and more often!
I also carry antiseptic and neosporin and a band aid everywhere I go.
0 -
What gets me is the number of times over the last couple of years that I have declared myself to be "past the fatigue". And then it comes back. For no rhyme or reason that I can figure out.
Interesting thing I read earlier about wellbutrin. I read about a study in which they were looking at various antidepressants for cancer-related fatigue. Wellbutrin was the best (which I knew), but what was interesting was that when they gave people paxil, it alleviated their depression but not their fatigue. So the researchers conclusion was that the mechanisms are different for depression and fatigue.
0 -
today I'm forcing myself to buy some sexy lingerie. I've been dressed in uni sexual pajamas since the diagnosis about 2 years ago.
I was sexually abused as a child and teen and BC just added to the struggles I've had with adult sexuality.
My therapist wanted me to find positive healthy role models for sexuality. I drew a blank. Anyone know a woman in the public world that would be a good candidate?
Hugs,
Peggy
0 -
Goldie Hawn? Sophia Loren? Sexy but independent.
0 -
how about Helen Mirren? She is strong, sexy and happily married, as far as I can tell.
0 -
Thanks Lily and Jeannie. Will look into them all!
Hugs,
Peggy
0 -
This is an article I read about 18 months ago and just read again, it is so true, but I have to say that I thought I would be done by now and I am not..............
0 -
Today will be day 6 for me on wellbutrin. Day 1: nothing. Day 2-3: felt worse, fatigued and depressed. Day 4-5: WHO PUT THE COCAINE IN MY COFFEE???? WHEEEEEEEE!!!!! Seriously...no fatigue, jangly, 10-cups-of-coffee nerves, moments of giddiness and euphoria. Sat at my desk, focused and motivated, like the pre-chemo me. Day 6: woke up with a migraine. Bleh.
Supposedly things even out after a couple of weeks.
On healthy role models: I heard an interview with Diane Keaton once about how she refused to do cosmetic surgery. She wanted to age naturally, and if that meant the end of her career, so be it. I really respect her for that. And of course her career is still going strong! I echo Helen Mirren...if you haven't seen the Prime Suspect series from the BBC, check it out...it's on Netflix streaming.
On sexy lingerie: What is sexy is what makes YOU feel sexy. I am lucky in that my husband couldn't care less about lace or satin...the only thing he finds sexy is skin. I had an old boyfriend that thought I looked hot in my gray fleece vest, and loved my flannel nightgown. I have a few items of clothing that make me feel pretty, even if my husband doesn't notice. But the highest I strive for these days is to "look good for my age". We don't all have to look like Madonna (or Beyonce, or Lady Gaga, or whoever those crazy kids are into these days.)
0 -
A sexy role model of what age---- How about Madonna --wait, you said healthy....
Just look in the mirror and think of all you have to offer---a strong woman who has beaten really big odds.
But I get it, I am ready for the convent, I think.
0 -
Goldie made me sad. Not just her face but more the way she walks. She's almost 70, right?
She struts like a stripper.
0 -
Peggy - My vote for female role models are Judi Dench, and Kathy Bates. I could watch either of these ladies do anything, and I'd be riveted. I also like the way they conduct their personal lives. Discreetly, and powerfully.
But I have to disagree about Diane Keaton. She may be a fabulous person (albeit too thin) but she tries to hard on-screen to be loopy and screechy.
By the way whenever my girlfriends and I have a picture taken, we try to 'smile like Goldie'. That is - smile till your face hurts with your mouth open. My sister said even though it makes your face hurt, it makes a gal a lot more photogenic.
0 -
yes i agree Judi Dench,Celia Imrie, Dawn French are probably better choices
0 -
It's been over 2 years and I feel like it's just hitting me now as well. I also had kidney cancer in between and lost my Mother so it's been a rough few years. I am a very strong person, so my friends say but lately I don't feel strong at all. My husband, kids and friends were so supportive but my siblings have been so cold through this. They tell me to get past the the anger and sadness. Never came to see me in hospital or home, I thought we all got along. Recently I shared my disappointment with them and boy was that the wrong move. All I got was, well you didn't keep us posted and alienated us or you never asked us for help etc. etc. blaming me for everything. OMG! I was sick, I had cancer I want to scream to them.
Why do some get it, and others are so self centered with no compassion, I really don't get it!
I have finally shut them out completely because it hurt so much.
Am I wrong?
Bogie
0
