I look for other flat chested women. A rant.
Comments
-
I swim at least 3 times a week and scored early this season at Walmart with Catalina tanksuits. they had smallish soft cup bras which I cut out. The suits were fully lined and were priced at $9.99 or $14.99. The fit perfect and were very flattering. High enough leg cut to look sylish and the necks were also high enough to not cutdown to cleavage level. I think they still have some on line. I take my dad to a warm water therapy pool so everybody there is way older than me and they are not shy about askingquestions-plus the fact that I have been on chemo for 2 years so I havebeen blad most of the time. just got shaved down again since starting a new regimen.
They are very accepting and admiring. 1 lady has huge prosteses and She can float on her back with just them for floaies. She tells me she doesn;t understnad my decision to not be feminine but she also says she respects it. she is 70 years old so I totally think it is a generational thing.
As far as the support groups I went 1 time and never went back. The director took me aside and said to please be mindful how many low stage women were in the group and not to scare them with stage IV stories. What about my worries?? I get whatever I need form somewhere on here. I float thru many threads but I do really enjoy this one.
Very thoughtful posts, some humor and little a anger-it covers the whole gamut=I guess that is why it reasonates with so many of us. I had 1 of those out of body exeriences today. I went into the building where my onc is and as I pressed the elevator button I got 2 thoughts-I can;t believe I have freaking BC and the 2nd thought was I SOOO just want to turn around and drive away and never come back-EVER. Instead I went upstairs without screaming and got my fluids and Neulasta and Decadron and came home and sat under the shade tree. That's how we do this-1 day or even1 moment at a time.
I went to a Reds ball game and sawmyself on the Jumbotron in all my bald flat chested glory-I can paint myself a picture in my head but seeing yourself 5 times life size-it just ain;t pretty!!
0 -
I had my BMX on 8/1. Tonight DH & I took a leisurely walk downtown to check out our local festival. I went sans falsies and tried to be nonchalant about my flatness. We ran into our next door neighbor and she said "We just got back from vacation, did you have your surgery?" I used to be a D cup...I guess people don't notice your chest when there's nothing there!
0 -
I started swimming last week and am loving it!! I always go flat, hate the foobs. I just wear a pair of black bendon knickers and a black gym top. Haven't noticed anyone looking....don't care! Today is the anniversary of my BMX. I felt quite emotional this week; I guess my grief is still there. My DH remembered and bought me a lovely bouquet of flowers. Made my day! I am currently writing a book about my experiences with BC and earthquakes. My city was partially destroyed by large quakes over the last 18 months. I was about to go into surgery when a 6.3M quake struck. Many people died that day....I am writing about my experiences of being dx at the time of such devastation. I also want to add a chapter about non-reconstructiona as an option. I want to let women know that it's okay to be flat and fab. As you know, there is not enough info given to women facing MX or BMX. Any comments are welcome! P.S. I am very comfortable with being flat (went from a D cup) and still feel as attractive as ever. Yes, I miss my boobs, but feel stronger for having gone through these experiences.
0 -
I was going down the path of reconstruction and then did a full turn and decided on no boobs, no bras. I am very happy with my decision. Last surgery was 7/23 so being flat is still new to me and I like it. I was a DD so no boobs is very freeing. Haven't even tried the foobs - only have the fiber ones and don't plan to do otherwise. I just don't know of any occasions where boobs are required - if that happens then I pull the foobs out of the drawer. For now, I am enjoying the freedom.
Funny thing - I'm probably more aware of being braless in public than boobless. I have been putting the bra on for so long my first thot is 'they know I don't have a bra' then I remember there are no boobs wiggling so it's not obvious. My hair is starting to grow back and I don't catch the double-takes like I did when I was bald.
I am happy being boobless and going braless still feels like I'm getting away with something. Bought some new clothes the make the flat not so obvious but I am past the point of wondering what others think. It's just life.
Looking forward to enjoying today.
0 -
Hi all,
I really do think that going flat gets easier the longer you do it. I had my 1 year anniversary in April. That first summer, I remember how self conscious I was, wearing long sleeve shirts to the beach, sure that everyone was staring at me. Honestly, now, a year and some months later, most of the time I don't even think about it. I love not wearing a bra. I love wearing tank tops. The only thing that bothers me these days is sometimes I get a deep itching under the scar on the side where they took they lymph nodes.
0 -
Lilylady: I bought one of those Catalina suits and cut out the cups. If I ever get a chance to swim, I will be ready.
Ohio4Me: Funny in spite of the first 20 mos flat and now over 2 years out, I have very rarely gone braless. During the 20 mos, I had to strap down the center dog ears because while flat is not shocking, I felt the look of horns growing out of my breast bone was shocking. Then after the removal, the chest was wrapped/strapped with a silicone pad to minimize scarring. It was only a few weeks later that I purchased foobs which I have worn since more than not.
There is something about the bra issue that I have not totally reconciled in my brain or emotions. Funny that I have become very comfortable with the look of flat and no longer even try to camouflage it. And yet, there is still something that I have heard others describe about feeling a need for a bumper. In other words while I feel no need to hide a flat chest, I do still feel a need to protect it. I do go flat and braless but there is that moment of emotionally dealing with the protection element before feeling ready to walk out the door.
Barbara
0 -
Ohio, it was great to meet you at the Lymphedema Summit this past week. Not only did I get to see a "flattie", I got to hug one! :-)
0 -
so here goes ladies, the much promised, anticipated before and after . . . so far, being flat is not too bad!
0 -
Fern, awesome!
I see you are doing the dreaded TC - best wishes on getting through it without major SEs!
Am going to a fancy schmancy dinner tomorrow night, thinking through the wardrobe issues. Have a basic dark navy blue sleeveless dress with matching jacket, looks great with pearls or colorful scarf, have not worn it f/boobless before, but I think it just might work well.0 -
Fernmf - your scars are so straight and symmetrical! The scar on my cancer side curves up over to the scar from the lumpectomy. The stretch marks that used to hide underneath are now very visible. Not a pretty site, but will only be seen by me, DH and my docs so I don't care. The terror of recurrence hiding in them is gone.
I hope to return to work soon and am debating whether to wear the camisoles and fiber foobs I have or just go flat. I will probably go flat the first day just to break the ice. I think it would be tougher for me to go flat after they have gotten used to seeing the foobs.
0 -
CLC, It is tough having one breast. I was a size 7 too, and that is so much weight, emotionally and physically. I began wearing sports bras and a microbead foob in the empty place. And I wore a 6 form because I wanted people's eyes getting used to it being smaller and...slowly disappearing sorta.
Then 18 months later, I had to have my other breast removed :-( but I have to say flat is easier. One rather large breast was a difficult thing to work with fashion-speaking. Other than the sports bra pulling everything flat...
Rowan...I too get emotional around the yearly time....how lovely you got flowers!!!!
Fern, thank you for your photos, your chest really could be my chest. But I am not having reconstruction. Good for you for posting photos!!
Bellapazza, how are you doing? And how did they know your uterus thickened?
0 -
Marilyn . . I have had two sessions with a massage therapist to reduce/massage out the scar tissue - I believe the smoothness is GREATLY improved from that massage and would highly recommend it to anyone. I know I could have probably learned to do it myself, but chose to spend the money at a physical therapy place close by, by a massage therapist who has been trained. Well worth the money (not covered by insurance).
Crystal . . I am NOT having reconstruction either. I was already flat . . now I am just "certifiably" so . . ha ha.
0 -
FernMF: That could be yet another t-shirt, "Certifiably Flat" Love it!!!
Barbara
0 -
FernMF, does your massage therapist do myofascial release? My PT does this, and it helped early on; problem is I am still having pain, my BS referred me for PT again for same therapy, but my insurance won't cover it because it is the same thing within 6 months. I don't really understand that, and I am going to call, but the PT now is going to teach me to do the wraps for LE and will include myofascial release during those sessions. Apparently LE is covered, and mine is very very minimal (if at all), but that is a way to get more preventive education and treatment. My massage therapist is trained for LE therapy, haven't asked her about myofascial release. I am doing it myself as well, but not sure I am doing it as well as someone who can get positioned properly to put the right amount of traction in the right direction.
0 -
I finally got around to checking out tee shirts. VistaPrint can make up these teeshirts to order, and they charge shipping, for a total of around $16.98 plus shipping, which is 6-7 dollars or so. I've designed a cool looking black teeshirt with colored writing, This Flat Don't Need Fixing. Im willing to order them for people who will be at FlatFest and pay one shipping charge (I'm not making any money on this, just splitting the cost), but if you're not coming, it would be more cost effective for you to design your own shirts online at Vistaprint, thereby skipping the second shipping charge.
Let me know. Can we start getting a head count?
Sandy0 -
Sandy, you already have my tee shirt info, but I just want to post that I'm in for Flat Fest.
0 -
When and where is this flatfest? I must of missed the info.
0 -
http://www.rolereboot.org/life/details/2012-08-i-chose-to-live-as-a-flat-chested-woman-after-breast
Here is the link to the article I wrote for Role/Reboot about going flat. Please read and share.
Sandy, count me in. what sizes are the t's? Are there any smaller sizes?
0 -
Your article is excellent!!! Very well done, very informative, and it hit home with a painful vividness, which means you did your job very very well!
Denise
0 -
Fern - I started getting bi-weekly massages 3 mos before my surgery to help with stress. I had my first one post-bmx after 2 weeks. Too soon to work on the scar tissue, but I plan to have her do that.
0 -
MT, well done on the article. Makes all the right points without being sappy or over-dramatic.
0 -
MT - great article!! Well done!
On the tees, I am planning to order three large, three medium, three small, unless I get more specific orders that say This Flat Don't Need Fixing.
Mumito - Flat fest is a meet-up for flat women that we've scheduled for September 22 in New York City. I believe, currently, we are planning to meet up at Strawberry Fields at 11 a.m., the Imagine icon, and go from there to lunch. I haven't made reservations anywhere, because I don't have a head count yet.
0 -
I posted a comment in the Pinktober thread about an idea to get Rachel Ray and/or other networks to use one show to highlight breast cancer. I suggested she could have a segment on nutrition (with the requisite cooking demo), diagnosis & treatment, research status, fashion. She usually has some fashion consultant do some wonderful suggestions for various types and shapes of women. Could also have a segment on how to show you care for a person with BC without saying something stupid or offensive.
Anyone have any contacts with any of the major networks or suggestions on how to contact them?0 -
What a wonderful article, MT! A fresh take on a subject that often falls flat.
0 -
Great job on the article, MT!
0 -
Sandy? I have a woman who contacted me as a result of my article saying that she would like to meet up for FlatFest too. She isn't a member of this forum. I am encouraging her to join, may I hook the two of you up in an organizational effort?
0 -
MT, Sure. Be glad to hook up with anyone interested.
0 -
Good morning all
Glasses are particularly appropriate today as yesterday's eye exam went very well which was even better that the retinas are both still in good shape in spite of decades of fighting high blood pressure.
I was so inspired by the tshirt thing that I decided to order on my own from VistaPrint.com after I saw Alexandria mention them. I used two of their stock designs with my words. They arrived at my office yesterday. Our State Fair is coming up next month and I plan to go gloriously Flat & Fabulous with one of my new shirts.
I seem to remember seeing somewhere on their site that you can give VistaPrint permission to offer a saying as one of their stock sayings. I also had looked at shirts on Cafepress so may be confusing the two. At the time I ordered, the shirts were on sale on Vista which is why I chose them over Cafe.
In case the words are too small to read:
On the dancer it says: Flat & Fabulous - Freed 'em when they tried to kill me
On the butterfly: Flat & Fabulous - ...this flat don't need fixin'
I would personally like our sayings to be made available on these sites as stock items. The "Yeah they're fake, the real ones tried to kill me" are already there. I think some of the flat sayings should be there too.
Barbara
0 -
Sorry the images are so big but did not see any way to make them smaller so you will have to scroll over to see the design and maybe change the View setting to Zoom Out.
Barbara
0 -
I am so glad I have you folks to speak with!
This week the article I wrote came out, at first I was a nervous wreck, it is one thing to think about doing it, quite another to actually say what you think. But, then I cooled off, I said what I needed to say, it needed saying.
Today I went to the pool program and had two very different conversations. One older lady, with huge beautiful sparkly eyes and glasses, came over to me and said, 'What you had bilateral mastectomy?' I smooth my chest out, 'yup! they were trouble makers and I got rid of them'. She smiles and says, 'You are such an inspiration, I am half flat and I wear this bubby' She went on to say, 'I had the cancer when I was 28, I am 75 now. My daughter tells me to leave the bubby home (that was her word, I spelled it like she said it). You are an inspiration, I will have to think about this'.
Then a new comer to the pool: 'You decided against reconstruction? Why?' Me, "I don't want all the surgery and I don't think it is necassary'. Her: 'So you wear prosthesis?' Me, vigorous 'no' shake of the head. She told me her surgery was diep flap and it was like a truck hit her, she said she had surgery planned for October to finish her work, she had such fear in her eyes.
Then after the program was finished the big sparkle eye lady came back and spoke with me for a while about not getting reconstruction, she was funny, she kept plucking at her bubby. She told me I had a beautiful body.
That was a big week for me.
This weekend we will go to a friends house. This friend is notorious for sayig all the wrong things. We were asked to bring our suits to go swimming... Anyone have any good retorts they want to share for people who have no filters between thier brains and there mouths?
0
![http://i45.tinypic.com/t54mzs.jpg[/IMG]](http://i45.tinypic.com/t54mzs.jpg[/IMG]){kind=link}
![http://i49.tinypic.com/fc0izp.jpg[/IMG]](http://i49.tinypic.com/fc0izp.jpg[/IMG]){kind=link}