The Hermit Club

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  • FLwarrior
    FLwarrior Member Posts: 614

    Welcome Jazzy!

    I'll join the group (((HUG))) for Camille!

  • LizLemon
    LizLemon Member Posts: 191

    ((((Camille!))) :)

  • FLwarrior
    FLwarrior Member Posts: 614

    Stormy that is a big change for you!  Looks great!  I had long hair too, just not as long as yours.  I cut mine shoulder length during the beginning of chemo. Feels really crazy like you don’t have anything left to wash or brush!

    LL I am very happy for you that you get to go see your son!  I really miss my son and would love to see him!  He was going to come here for Thanksgiving but was in between jobs (and broke) so we had to postpone his trip until Christmas.  He has a new job (and good for him he seems to be happy), but they are busy and not allowed to take time off until after the first of next year.  So…I won’t get to see him Christmas either.  I’m really sad about that.

    Hahahaha…at the risk of showing my age…I’m gonna admit I had no idea what “Elf on a shelf” was you guys were talkin’ about.  I had to google it.  My son is 28 so he was off at college when this came out. No wonder I had never heard of it.  I have been in my cozy little hermit shell for a while now…

    Markat the golf “ball” thing is HILARIOUS! Loved it!

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    OH I feel that salty feeling in my eyes agsin--stop it- Hey I'm no cheerleader I'm here cuz of u guys--same things. LOL but thank u

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,988

    Dear Liz Lemon-thank you for your posting. And sorry you too are going through this. Sounds like you have approached things much as I have with work front. I know when you work FT and you need to do FMLA, you have to tell your boss, but as a self employed person, I am beholden to no one to share this. I was told by my breast surgeon I would be able to work through this (I was in between project contracts when this began and some other health issues came up too). But now I have a new contract starting with a client and trying to work to keep my health world private. I have already set up a schedule to work PT to start and have left my afternoons to do radiation treatments, if I can do those in town (been recommended I go to Phoenix for some of this). So it is a juggling act, a slippery slope, but so far I am pulling it off.


    My sister, who is 11 years older than me, was diagnosed 2 months before me with BC (isn't that amazing?) She just finished chemo and is preparing to do a mastectomy next month. We live 1000 miles from each other but are able to help one another from a distance. She decided right away to keep her situation mostly private with her job to go through her treatment. And I followed her lead. We all know we don't always live in a friendly world when it comes to sharing private matters. People can use the information against you, especially if you are in a competitive situation, as I am trying to get contract work. Like you, I don't want it to be used against me now or in the future. I have figured out who I can trust with this matter and so far, it has worked out well.

    And thank you to Camillegal and Markat for the welcome.

    Although I made the comment about not being into the holiday stuff, please know too I am fine with everyone who shares their holiday stories, no judgement here. We all need to find what helps us through the process. My main issues with the holidays are with my community of friends and family that KNOW what is going on and are into it and expect me to be too. I too am trying to find things to embrace during this next month that feel right. I play music for fun and am doing that again and it helps!

    Wishing you all blessings as you go through your journey!


  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,988

    Teka- oh no worries there, I am taking care of my community along the way with gifts in appreciation for their help, even before the holidays season! I feel it is more sincere when you see something at the time and say "so and so would really love this!" But I have more planned along the way this next month. I am just opting out of the usual parties and stuff like that.

    I am glad you are enjoying the holiday season!

  • bgirl
    bgirl Member Posts: 435

    Welcome Jazzygirl ... were are a pretty easy going bunch who talk about anything that strikes us ... we all play nice and respect each other so it is a safe place to hang out.

    Oh, I am making such a mess, but trying not to be overwhelmed and think about what it will look like when I am done.

    {{{{{Cami}}}}} and anyone else who needs one today {{{{HUGS}}}}

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    Oh I always need hugs. Thanks Jane (((hugs))) right back at u.

    Jazzy like anything in life we view it differently and with u'r circumstances of how u work, I think u made a very wise choice--after all this could be a decision maker with a client. So Good for u. And the first couple of Christmasses I really wadn't in the mood--I don't think any of us were for partying so who can blame u--that's kind that u think of u'r neighbors and friends around and et them something and I truly am sorry about u'r sister and really sorry she lives so far from u.-My sister used to live 5 mins. from me, now she lives 15-20 mins and we think that's far--she got cancer Stage 4 -4 months after me--so she blames me (not really) we're very close and do tell each other everything and see each other and we're together Christmas day with our families-(she has 4 dggtr) and we go to one of her dgtrs who got cancer a couple of months before me--so we kind of understand all that we feel and we end up having a wonderful time--that's one of the reasons I still love Christma, cuz my brother is their too (who's also had cancer) So we are a good poster family.....OMG there I go again I get started and can't shut up, much like Teka :)

    Anyway Jazzy this is a private world hear so u can say what u want--it's just us. LOL

  • whaevah
    whaevah Member Posts: 282

    Welcome Jazzy!

    Skittles , lol rhino-mom and my eyelash is waving to the others so hopefully they get the party started Wink

    LizLemon , avid reader here as well...22 books during chemo...the first chapter was hysterical, lots of references to SNL and 30 Rock, which I LOVE

    markat LOLOL the schweddy balls, DH is a golfer as well, he would LOVE that gift, we watched the xmas special..LOL'ed Justin Timberlake EmbarassedDid you ever catch the skit with the adjoining twins, one was a gorgeous actress, the other was Rachael Dratch? DH missed it and I still laugh about it. WOW 2 trees, you go girl!

    camillegal glad you are getting a little break from the docs...sweet family stories too(((hugs)))

    TekaKiss

    *waves* to all

    I am still trying to decide how much decorating to do. I usually light a row of cedars out back, so pretty from the dining room window,  and yes, they are all white, as are all my indoor lights. However, the tree in front is always lit with colored lights as are my planters by the entrance , Dwarf Alberta Spruce, they are sooo cute! Every year I vow not to kill them, no such luck so far Embarassed

    I don't know. I have been considering doing nothing and just buying tons of indoor Christmas plants. Rads are starting soon and I am short on energy these days. Trying to exercise to get up to speed.....

    The last chemo feels like one too many, oh well...one day at a time:) I am getting Deported on Dec 05, that is my Xmas gift. It was not a good experience going in, and it has never been comfortable for me. Always finicky during infusions too. I know this is highly unusual, thank goodness , as it really is a good little soldier to have.  So let's hope this will be a smooth and easy procedure.

    LOVE all the Xmas spirit and yet I appreciate all who are not up to it. Happy weekend ~oh and thanks Jane for the hug Wink

     

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    whaevah Have any spirit u want after all u've been thru--Remember what goes up will have to come down too. So do what's the easiest and what makes u happy. This is time for u do choose whaevah makes u happy.

    Jazzy--Teka's never talked so much, and Teka I agree I love being with family that's the best part. Oh and food too.

  • whaevah
    whaevah Member Posts: 282

    camillegal...any spirit I want??? alrighty then, vodka martini please Tongue Out

  • Skittle
    Skittle Member Posts: 395

    Jazzy--glad you found this thread!  You can see from my post # that I'm a relative newbie, too, but these ladies are the BEST.  Supportive, caring, funny, centered...  You have found a safe, understanding place to be.  Share anything, and you will feel loved and understood.  Wisdom of been-there-done-that... relationships... laughter... shoulders to cry on.  All here.

    Pretty hair!  And all the holiday festiviites sound wonderful.  Visit to son, time with friends, home improvements, family, Santa hopes.  Yay, hermits.  Bright spirits abound.

    (hm.  Neon green?  My kids would never recover, falling off their chairs in fits of laughter!)

  • Stormynyte
    Stormynyte Member Posts: 179

    Skittle, let them do it! My kids had a blast chopping and coloring my new do lol You should go green with red highlights for Christmas!

    So, I feel like a self centered ass at the moment. My sister just called me. No "how ya feeling?" or none of that. She knows I started chemo on Monday, but I haven't heard anything from her all week. She has a full time job, new hubby and 3 kids, not like she doesn't have a life. But anyway, she calls just a few minutes ago and all she has to say is "Can the boys come stay the night at your house tonight?" Her 10 and 12 year old boys. 

    Just made me mad that she would even ask  about sending them over and not even take a second to pretend to give a crap. Then I think "what the heck makes me so special?" It's not all about me..geesh, get over it.

  • markat
    markat Member Posts: 502

    Yum, I'll take an extra dirty vodka martini. Are olives vegetables? At least they're greenCool

    Whaevah, I had to google that skit, but I remember that now. Freaking hilarious. That was Jenifer Garner, Ben Afleck's wife. Your decorations sound pretty, but if you're not feeling it, then don't bother, kwim? If I was in Canada I'd come and decorate your trees for you...possibly with toilet paperTongue Out I hope your deportation goes well! Golf Galaxy was having free personalization on any balls, so I got him the ridiculous expensive 12 pack, of course he really paid for them, haha. My $5 is just sitting in there, lonely, taking up room.

    Jane, just do as much as you can each day and then stop. When I was working on projects pre BC, sometimes I would only do 1 wall a day or I would become too overwhelmed. I freaking hate wallpaper. Do you have steamer? Even a clothes steamer is easier than a scraper.

    More hugs for Camille. Your family sounds so great!

    Skittle, I'm really glad you joined our group! You could do that wash out green dye just to get their attention, lol!

    Teka, have any good cookie recipes you would like to share that don't involve sweat or screaming Embarassed

  • markat
    markat Member Posts: 502

    Stormy, she still should have said something!?! Did you end up having the boys over?

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,988

    Stormynite: I never ceased to be amazed when people ask me to do something when I am in the middle of something major. I have had it through all kinds of situations too, sick family members, job crises, recent deaths in the family, my own health issues. People are who they are regardless of our own personal circumstances, eh?

    Your sister sounds like she has a lot going on and is her plate is too full. And she is looking to you for help, but perhaps not the best time to be asking. Maybe you need to screen her calls and let her leave a message so you can decide if you want to respond. I have had to do that with people, including family. Sometimes I just don't respond to people if it feels like too much. 

    I have had a couple people call me up to see how I am doing, only to UNLOAD on me and I ended up drained. They later apologized for it too, saying it was not there intent but they were having a bad day. Sort of helped me to realize I may need to not always pick up with some. Now I sort of know when some call me with this potential, I just let roll to voice mail and decide later if I want to call. 

    Hope you found a good solution to this request. How are you doing with the first week of chemo? 

  • bgirl
    bgirl Member Posts: 435

    Stormy - you are not selfish ... and self-centred is what you need to be right now.  It only takes a second to ask how you are even if she is really busy.

    Used to unplug phone in bedroom when I needed to nap.  If it is really important people can always leave a message.

    Talked to my oldest sister today.  Told her I was having surgery, but wasn't telling mom.  Will call and tell her my MRI result this weekend, but that is it.  She understood ... knew I was ticked at mom last weekend for gossiping about me.

    ooh ... love pecans ... will have to check it out .... my favourite are a shortbread with pecans and chocolate.  Maybe it will go with a really good vodka shot.

  • FLwarrior
    FLwarrior Member Posts: 614

    FrownCryIt's been one of "those" days, for me...CryFrown.  Sure hope tomorrow is better.

  • markat
    markat Member Posts: 502

    (((FL))) hope it gets better too!

  • Stormynyte
    Stormynyte Member Posts: 179

    Vodka and cookies...yum

    Aww FLwarrior, tomorrow will be better! Sending hugs and happy thoughts your way.

    I told my sis that my son was grounded so he can't have company this weekend. I don't know why I let it bother me, she's always been that way.

  • Skittle
    Skittle Member Posts: 395

    ooh, Stormy, we're talkin' 82 kids...  going bananas.  My principal would fall right over, too!  undefined  Green hair and ho, ho, ho! 

    whaeveah--so proud of that eyelash party!  Grow, babies, grow!

    Flwarrior--rest.  ((( u )))  Take Saturday for yourself if you can.  Curl up. Know your hermit family is pushing caring thoughts your way.

    Teka--I love to bake!  I wait for an energy surge and then go for it!  Your cookies sound mmmm...  with a hot steamy cuppa tea.  (I envy all the vodka girls.)  Smile

    Happy weekend, all. 

  • Skittle
    Skittle Member Posts: 395

    (no I didn't put undefined in there...)  a pic didn't translate.  Turtle with green mohawk!

  • markat
    markat Member Posts: 502

    I really only had 1 close friend (we were both maids of honor in each others weddings) completely pretend like I didn't exist anymore or that I didn't have cancer the 4 times I actually spoke to her. Ironically, I reached out to her to help me get this job. She's just that type of person I learned it the hard way. My other BFF was pregnant and her mom was diagnosed stage 4 so she had a hard time seeing me also. I completely understood. The rest of my friends just don't get it. The invites have pretty much stopped but they still text me. I look like a fat Kramer (seinfeld) and I don't want to hear about how great I look with lying eyes lol!

  • bgirl
    bgirl Member Posts: 435

    Fl Warrior - hope today finds you better {{{{HUGS}}}

    Markat ... we see your inner beauty every day... but I hope your body will return to whatever you want it to be.  Know what you mean about comments ... everyone tells me I look great ... lost 20 lbs in 3 months before I was diagnosed ... oops unexplained weight loss is a symptom of cancer .... not a weight loss program I would recommend.

    You know I was thinking the other day, that for the most part, we do not really know what each other looks like.  No race, colour, size, shape, age, etc., but we all support each other.  Too bad there isn't more of that in the world.

    Now I want cookies for breakfast.

  • FLwarrior
    FLwarrior Member Posts: 614

    Thank you.  I am going to try to put on a Smile and hopefully it will help.

    You are right.  Most of us do not have our pic in our avatar. I had not even thought about it until you mentioned it.  It is great how well we support each other.

    Stormy, it really stinks to have a sister who is self centered and not supportive. I have one of those too. Mine never once called me, sent a text, email or anything the whole time I was in treatment.  I have since disowned her.  I figure if that is the real her...who the hell needs it? Not me, certainly not now.  I was always the one to have to reach out, to call, etc... I'm done, I havn't talked to her in over a year and a half.

    Everyone enjoy your Saturday!

  • whaevah
    whaevah Member Posts: 282

    markat, toilet papered trees, the neighbors will be jealous. I will , once again, be unique. While you are up there, would you fish out my laptop? Please send the elves.

    As far as looks go, I am sportin' the Casper rather well,  with the lashes, hair additions and hopefully eyebrows i will get to the Grandpappy. A nice change from this summers pirate look. Gorgeous I tell ya, simply gorgeous. Wink 

    Yesterday, I found a ``Big girls panties-get over it``joke on my FB wall. I wasn`t amused. So a text or two and it was all sorted out. It was insensitive at this point, and the person was not thinking. I have about 20 friends, lol, mainly family so that I can see photos of the little ones.

    I am feeling a little better each day, and that is a good thing. Wishing all cave dwellers the same and more. Raining here so I will jump on the treadmill , my legs are cramped ...hate that. Happy Saturday!

  • markat
    markat Member Posts: 502

    Holy falafel, what were they thinking? Not much apparently. I have lots of big panties if you want them to slowly suffocate the person Cool I'll leave them hanging from the trees too.

    Sorry Teka about your friend.

    Jane, so true!

    Fl, hope the day goes good!

  • Skittle
    Skittle Member Posts: 395

    markat--holy falafel!!???  Laughing  I needed a good laugh!  Thanks--I'm still chuckling.

    FL--what is it with sisters?  I disowned mine four years ago. (she's an atty and charged my mother $1000 to cover air fare, etc, to come see her as she was losing her battle with bc.)  Crazy value system.  Glad she lives far, far away.  She doesn't even know about my "woes".  ick, ick just thinking about her!

    teka--happy birthday!  late/early/whenever!  I'll always wish you well.  Your warm heart shines through, so "friend" should just get over the problem with purple!  good grief.  (No--holy falafel!)    I agree about social skills.  Seems like some people think that with age comes privileges of rude behavior.  I just don't get it.

    whaevah--I was dreading a colonoscopy not long ago... and encountered the same remark--big girl panties--I couldn't believe the insensitivity.

    camille--are you ok?  Good weekend?

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,988

    Hello ladies:

    The hermit got out of her shell today for awhile. I am going back to work on a new contract PT this week and will be thrown into the mass of people in a new cubicled environment this client has set up for this project I am taking on. So I realized I needed to start getting more socialized to being around people a bit more. I think I will be fine, but will embrace my hermitage during my non client time.

    I am giving myself permission to take a break from thinking, talking too much about, over analyzing and obsessing about my medical odessey, as I have come to call it. Sometimes we all just need a break from this, don't we? I played some music with a jazz jam session this morning, then went to shop at some of my favorite small businesses for a few holiday gifts (some for them, some for me....) Holiday things felt pleasant and not overwhelming today. I also watched my neighbors putting up their outdoor lights. I was just present with the day and the season.

    I hope all of you are doing well today. And if it has been a harder day, I pray for your tomorrow to be a bit better.