The Hermit Club
Comments
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whaevah--so true! Normal for us to worry. We probably all do more than we even realize. (I always think of a sign years ago outside a church--worry is the darkroom where negatives are developed.)
Markat--sorry to hear the complications with your education goals... but even more, hoping you get reassuring news soon. Waiting is hard and stressful. But, wow. two fixed toilets. I feel successful sometimes just hanging a picture straight.
Laurie--welcome to a safe nest. Say anything and it will be understood.
camille--take care. Hope you're feeling ok.
Jazzy--I hope the stress won't be continual. Your plantings will bring a great stress release when they bloom. It's supposed to be a pretty weekend. I hope to put in some lilies of the valley. Don't know why, but I've always loved them.
curve, bgirl, FL--happy weekend. April should bring pretty days.
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Teka, the frog whisperer
FL, oh my goodness, you need a new job. Are you a nurse, I can't remember. We can go back to school together lol! Thank you for the kind words. Sending you hugs and good thoughts for a relaxing weekend.
Camille, they just love to confuse us (doctors). I have something like Cervical Stenosis, but I think it is a little different. Something from my brain stem. I'm sure that is what is causing my pain. I really don't want another surgery though. I hate hate hate anesthia. I know one of my blood test counts was high though, so that is a little nerve wracking.
Whaevah!!! Thank you! Miss you! Hope you are doing fun things and watching lots of TV and eating pizza
Skittle, thank you! You are so kind. Hanging pictures is hard work. I don't have the patience to do things the "correct" way, so mine are usually crooked lol. Those new 3M hangers are wonderful for me lol. I'm currently depressed because I should call an electrician about the wiring in my house if I want to hang new light fixtures because you aren't supposed to use the new ones with a house built before 1985. DH is rolling his eyes at me and wishing Spring Break never happened hahaha.
Bgirl, hope the accounting is kind. Real jobs are overrated
I would like to become independently wealthy and lay on my butt or do volunteer work with children for the rest of my life. Keep those bees alive, we need them!Sending all our new faces a big hug. These lovely hermits are the best around!
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Frog whisperer! Love it!
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agree jazzy what works for some won't for others, we are individuals...
Skittle, just said that I am so happy I don't have to go out tomorrow, then remembered library called but that is nothing....
Everyone have a wonderful, painfree weekend, and have either a drink (don't drink but I know some do) or a bowl of your favorite ice cream, pie, cake or all of it.....I eat what I want, drink or not what I want...cause i can.....
luv all of you guys!!!
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Lol Teka! I was just kidding. But if you have any...
Blondie, sorry you have to go out tomorrow!0 -
Teka===hahahahahahaha
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thanks it is ok, it is for the Life of Pi the movie so that is fine and trying to figure out if i need anything else while i am out....
HAPPY WEEKEND...BBL
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My KI was 95 on one path report and 25 on another - Huge difference that can only be the specific part of tissue analysed..... So i don't get too worried about it
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Lily I'm glad u don't have to worry---everyone here knows I don't know the first thing about cancer except the word--So I don't know wat u mean but if the news is OK I do get happy for everyone and now u. I know by now u'd think I'd be an expert but again I never paid any attention litterally,in fact when I first came here 2 women PM's me telling me I couldn't pose as a woman with caner just to join something or write about all of this. And I said Iwas just ignoring everything as I went along and found out what Stage I was and my nodes just so I could write it down, and my Dr. said we told u everything so don't wrte our names down cuz we'll look like horrible Drs., ad then she said something like I knew this had to be u asking questions NOW and she laughed. But I'm a wealth of info about SE's hahaha
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Good for you Lily. It is not something that keeps me up at night or anything lol. Being diagnosed at 30yo, really 29 if I would have gone in when I first felt the lump, makes me a little nervous. Ten year survival puts me at 40yo! Yay lol.
I worry more about my girls than me. What they will be afraid of, the tests or prophylactic surgeries.
Oh well, off to watch the 9yo run in her first track meet. She's a fast little girl!0 -
Yes for sure
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Hi saturday night hermits: wading through my weekend of data conversion. We are in good shape and finishing up tomorrow and bringing our new change to the end users on monday. My client gives me $(*#+$ sometimes because they are nervous, but I seem to have them okay for the time being.
I stopped on the way home today to my favorite nursery for more flower and garden chochkies. Fun little quails and hummingbirds on a stick and one awesome turquoise beaded lizard. I have some more planting to do tomorrow. Oh and a rock with frogs on it, in honor of Teka (the frog whisperer....)
Do any of you shop at Tuesday Morning? Been finding some great stuff there lately, into new bedding and other fun home stuff. I have become more of a homebody this past year with a number of things I have gone through, so I am making things nicer around here inside and out.
Markat- I hate the waiting. Waiting for test results, waiting for surgeries or other procedures. It is the worst part of this. I am praying you hear some good news on monday. Finger crossed.
I am hoping the sisters here who are doing chemo and other treatments are doing okay. I am getting used to achey bones and joint stiffness with the AI's. Nothing I cannot cope with but I feel like an old woman these days.
Hoping you are all having a nice spring weekend where ever you are. I just love watching things green up and bud out.
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Markat
for sure--all this waiting. Oh oh Market I'm starting to pick up Teka's work--but she is one of a kind.Jazzy u'r really opening up spring, but u could there it's warmer, it's starting to warm up here but not long enough yet, but it will soon. I hate hot tho, so I'm in no rush like everyone else.
I just thought of something funny--I remember way back when 10PM (now) I was going out getting ready to party, LOL Now I'm getting ready for bed.
I hope everyone has a pain free nite and sleeps well. Take Drugs
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I can't get logged on from my computer at home. The computer is working and I can get on other sites I just can't get on BCO don't know why. I am on right now on my phone. Does this ever happened to y'all? What can I do to get back on on the computer?
It was a beautiful sunny day here today. I enjoyed spending the day outside. I went to a really nice art show along the waterfront.
I hope everyone enjoys the rest of the weekend!!!0 -
FL I've been having trouble, I get logged in and then it throws me out fast I don't know either if it's my comp or the sight.
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DD1 just took us all out (dd2, dh and moi) to "Jurassic Park 3d" for diversion. Am so not used to being out at night. Really. I usually grade papers and collapse into bed. Did you know there are a zillion people out and about, complete with toddlers up late, teens with barely any clothes on, and couples who have forgotten what get a room means? I love my hermitude far too much and will retreat happily, if all that is "normal." eeg. And don't people ever put their phones down?! (ok, rant over. sorry.)
blondie--what's your favorite flavor ice cream?
Happy Sunday to each. Rest well with few ouches.
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Skittle hahaha that's what it's like--I don't even know where my phone is sometimes and it's not easy to use either. Yes that is the world today and it seems odd when u'r not used to it like me too. How was the movie??? 3d looks fun again--I remember the first go around with it, and it didn't ast but this time it'a more popular--I think anyway.
Wee like skittle says Rest well with few ouches (I like that)
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I agree. I have not even had surgery yet and I feel like just "shutting down" for awhile. Alas, life does not "pause" for us to do this. I am a hairstylist (which goes against my hermit like tendencies) and it is impossible to hibernate. I am having a really hard time being forced to tell everyone about my diagnosis due to the fact that my time off will affect all of them. I am tired of talking about it and it is draining. Expecially since most people (me being one of them until I was diagnosed) do not know anything about BC. I keep getting things like, "Oh! They caught it early, so you will be fine." and "I know SO many people that bounced right back." I understand that people don't know what to say, but even though (pre MRI) my diagnosis is best case senario...I STILL have to go through all of the tests and surgery/surgeries. AND everyone is different in how they recover. Even if I just have a Lumpectomy, I am a hairstylist and use my arms constantly. I also use my armpits to "hold" the blowdryer. My recovery time may be much longer than maybe someone that has a desk job. No one knows. The unknowns are very hard.
I am so grateful to have my fellow hermits to vent to. Blessings to all of you!
Laurie
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Laurie... my heart goes out to you as you cope with all the bombardment of new/unsettling/unknown... What some have done who have to "go public" (I am able to only tell a few) is to tell one strong friend whatever it is you want people to know. She becomes the go-to person. Rather than draining your energies with reruns and emotional outpouring, simply tell your co-workers or whomever, something like, "I truly appreciate that you care so much. Could you talk to Jill and she'll fill you in? Thanks. I know you'll understand." and leave it at that. No one can fault you on wanting a safe spot or a little moat of privacy around your castle of hurt. And on the bright side, if you have no node involvement, armpits might soon be your friends again. Protect your energy and heart. Hermits are here for you!!
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Laurie- one of the hardest things about this is telling people, especially those who need to know. We end up spending a lot of time dealing with others reactions, emotions, fears, and tons of questions! I kept my information to a very small circle of folks like Skittle, and even then, I have had people do the same thing like "oh it's early, you will be fine" to people that tried to tell me what to eat, what kind of support group one needs, etc. Women who have been through bc treatment and those who have supported someone through this process in the past, will be your best allies.
Skittle's idea is a great one, to ask one trusted friend to be the "go to" person. Some people also set up blogs (or have a friend do it) to be able to post things for others to read vs. answering e-mails, phone calls, etc.
As I went through the most intense part of this, I found there were two camps of people 1) those you will look to have support from and b) everybody else. Sometimes it is good to just let folks know you will be unavailable for a period of time, without getting into the what you are doing. They know you are going through BC treatment but may not need to know the details of what part of the treatment and the questions they will have for you as a result. But if you need their help, you want them to come see you after surgery, to help you with rides, etc., do let folks know. I just told folks on a true need to know basis and the right people showed up that really helped me through.Find what works for you and that which does not put additional burdens on you. You need your energy to get through the remaining tests, the surgery, and any additional treatment, and to take care of you.
I hope this is helpful to you. We are here for you!
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Thanks for all the deodorant advice girls! Even without chemo yet I am actually noticing I don't require much...more annoying is feeling of skin touching almost numb skin! Cami & Markat- your comments about stinking made me laugh! As a middle school teacher, b.o. is a pet peeve (which I'm sure Skittle can relate to!), and now that my son is 12, it's a daily battle! He's almost OCD about germs & washing his hands, but I regularly have to make him get back in the shower to scrub his pits! I'm trying to look on bright side of chemo SEs, like no more armpit hair & no need to shave legs all summer. I wasn't really worried about a wig til i imagined my face with glasses and bald...not pretty! Have had contacts but don't know if i want to deal with them during chemo...
Want to thank all of you again just for being here. So sad that there ARE so many of us, but I can't imagine having gone through this 10-15 years ago with no online sources, no community like we have on this site! I feel comfortable "here" when I don't anywhere else.
I did have my mind taken off myself for a while...my dad had a post seizure mri done that showed possible tumor on frontal lobe of his brain & local drs had us rush him to ER. We had med transport take him to university hospital I go to 2 1/2 hrs away middle of Thursday night, and after scans were finally done Friday evening, neurosurgeon said he could go home for wkend, come back to see him on Monday when he had results. We are all terrified, but he went out to karaoke last nt....should be great inspiration for me to live life to fullest. So why do I want to sleep all day?? If I'm this tired before chemo & rads, I don't know how I'm going to do it.
Skittle, I know we all have to do what's best for us, but I really admire you for continuing to work, especially middle school language arts! No offense to other teachers (my best friends are math and specials teachers), but I think we have the most time consuming subject! (Also most interesting sometimes though!) I'm missing teaching my favorite unit & books this spring! Maybe this is my wake up call to enjoy & appreciate my job more instead of stressing about it!0 -
Grover- I am so sorry to hear about your dad. How difficult to have to go through bc and have a parent with such things going on. I hope tomorrow goes well no matter what the results. Waiting for results is the worst, no matter whether it is you or someone else. My thoughts will be with you and your family tomorrow.
If there are any blessings that go with this stuff, I will say keeping each day sacred and enjoying what is ever happening in the moment is one of them. I get really bugged with my work/current client site as there is so much drama, gossip, blame, you name it. I have less tolerance for nonsense these days, and have come to really detach from the misery of the workplace. I just do what I can to help and let it go when I am not there and focus on the rest of my life.
And no surprise you want to sleep all day. All this would be a huge energy drain on anyone!
I hope this week is a better one for you.
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Thank you Skittle. Your suggestion is wonderful, however, I do not have a go-to person as I am an independent stylist who has her own room. I don't interact with other stylists as in a traditional salon. It is just me and my client. That makes for developing a very intense and close relationship and that is why I feel the need to share with each one of them. They have all been with me for over 15 years and therefore they are like family. I know their lives and they know mine. It certainly makes the tough life things like Cancer very overwhelming. Thank you so much for your support though...I truly appreciate you!
Jazzygirl...you said everything so perfectly. Thank you as well.
Much love to all of you.
Laurie
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Grover,
Blessings to you and your dad. I lost my dad (suddenly, right in front of me) and I cannot even imagine how hard all of this has been for you. I prayhim and for all of you. Keep us posted?
Your fellow Hermit (crab) haha...
Laurie
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Jazzy & Laurie, Thanks so much for your thoughts & prayers. I'm so sorry you lost your dad, Laurie...it's amazing how it doesn't matter how old you or your parents are, losing them or even the thought of it is as terrifying as if you're a kid. I'm trying to keep it together for my mom & my kids, and glad I can help my parents with some of the practical, medical, and emotional stuff, but maybe that's what's exhausting me. My kids are handling it all on the surface, but I worry about them.
I hope you all had a peaceful & restful weekend:)0 -
Laurie and Grover--I think the first part is more emtional then after it all gets going and it can exhaust u. and Laurie I can imagine how u feel, I mean u'r arms are u'r livelyhood but again if no node involement it'll be much better for u and I can see u'r point about telling u'r clent u just can't abandon them--that's what they'll think so u do have to go one on one with them and that has to be again emotionally exhausting. But Laurie on the up side if u loose u'r hair u'll know exactlly what to do for wigs or pretty scarve or whatever u choose. I worked the 1st 4 months of chemo as a supervisor in Title and Reistrations at the DMV and I bout lots of stuff for hats and thing I worked full time but had to use sick days when I wasn't up for it so everyone knew and I'd just joke about my head and I was a walking cancer person and I just made a joke about it and everyone felt very comfortable about this beast of a disease. But after surgery I didn't work so I didn't have to use my arms to get things off of shelves and stuff. Then I just retired.
And Grover this whole experience is tiresome- tests, waiting more tests, biopsies maybe a port placement depending if u need or want one--I did--and now u'r Dad oh how horrible for u'r family too to have to go thru this with u, no wonder why u want to sleep--it's an escape and if that's what u need just do it. U both have to take care of u'rself any way u can that helps u.And it's kind of funny that the hermity people have or had jobs that u really deal with people hahaha--maybe that's why we like not dealing with anyone when u'r not up to it.
But remember we all go thru this differently, but also remember we're here to share with u and maybe u'll find out it's not so different as u thought. Gover I wish the best of luck tomorrow for u'r Dad's results and let us know too.
Markat (((HUGS))) for tomorrow's news, tell us right away.
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Me too Teka
markat, just wondering...do you have hot water tanks? ham?
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Once in a while I go active, but they are so intense and I feel glumpy cuz first I don't understand alot cuz it'a reports and alot of Dr. talk and
They are sad. So I just stick with a few that make me laugh more or just be calm.0 -
>>>sigh<<<Tonight is my night to crawl in a hole and pull it in after me. I went in to my office yesterday to clear out my cubicle, because I'll be retiring in three weeks or so. I went on Saturday to avoid meeting my co-workers, but wouldn't you know, the one person I was perhaps most anxious of all not to see turned up at the same time I was there. As expected, she asked a bunch of prying questions, even after I said I didn't want to talk about it. I tried, with only partial success, to avoid having a long conversation--first of all I was trying to work and second I didn't want to talk about my health or give out any details. (I haven't told anyone at work about my stage IV diagnosis and don't plan to do so.) I think I was pretty ungracious, in fact verging on rude, and I almost (but not quite) feel guilty about that because she means well.
But at least I didn't let out anything I wanted to keep private. That's an improvement over my handling of nosy questions on previous occasions, so I guess that's a success, sort of.
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Girls,
Thanks to all of you. I read your responses and my soul silently rejoices as I realize you all "get me". That is priceless. It is such a gift in all of this to know that there are women out there that truly understand the emotional/physical toll this takes. You all have helped me so very much in my short journey already. I always look at your DX and I am in awe of what you are going through. My heart goes out to all of you and I care very much. My prayers are with all of you.
Have a blessed and peaceful day today. I will carry you all with me.
Laurie
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