The Hermit Club
Comments
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ps - please read the Op-Ed in the Los Angeles times from April 7 - it's entitled "How Not to Say the Wrong Thing" by Susan Silk and Barry Goldman. I wish we could hand it out to everyone we meet : )
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Hi all! Hope all are well. Welcome newbies. We are a very caring group.
Laurie you just have to say no to people like that. My friends kind of tried that and I told them no. They insisted...I laughed and told them I wouldn't answer the door if they showed up
I need to catch up with everyone! Thanks for the prayers and good thoughts for my mom. I'm still reeling but we had a good day and that's all that matters!!0 -
Markat, thinking of you often. Wishing you a good week.
Laurie, between your husband and your kids it will be enough. Maybe you can think of a positive thing she could do for you as a peace offering, but one that does not inolve moving in.
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Curve... feel better soon. We've all had pity parties and understand. Fevers, too, are no fun. Be good to yourself.Laurie...one story suggested to me was "The Spoon Theory" on a site called you don't look sick... It's a little long, but explains a lot. Your friend loves you and will eventually understand. If you put all your energy into a good front, you'll have no energy for the important parts.
markat... prayers continue your way. I'm sure First Communion was beautiful and happy. hugs...
camille... curl up with a good Joey moment or two. recharge those batteries.
Glad it's spring.
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Markat, Marilyn and Teka,
Love you all for understanding. THANK YOU! You always all know EXACTLY how I feel and what I mean. I could cry from the relief of what you all bring to this "process".
Curveball...you are loved...we are here. You can "pity party" all you want. We understand. I hope you feel better soon!
To ALL of the rest of you...have a blessed Sunday.
XOXOXO
Laurie
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Skittle and Bgirl,
Just saw your posts too. LOVE the suggestions. Thank you. Love you.
XOXOXO
Laurie
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Blondie,
Thinking of you....how are you doing? You sure have been through a lot. My prayers are with you.
XOXOXO
Laurie
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Good morning hermits- good to catch up with several of you here today.
Curveball- hopefully your immune system is okay and you just caught a bug which anyone can do. Spring is the worst time for me to get sick with the warmer then colder temps. Take care of yourself and hopefully you will feel better soon.
Markat- I am glad you had a good day with your mom.
Laurie- You friend may want to help but if you say no, that should be that. You have a family to take care of you. But here is an insight from my own experience with a good friend who wanted (and did) help me through part of my treatment.
I had to go to AZ for my radiation treatments in Jan and Feb, and had a good friend offer to come help me through my first trip there. She came in the day of my catheter procedure and helped me through the first few days, as I was recovering from the procedure. But then she started having anxiety attacks and her BP went sky high. The morning I got up to go do my first rad treatments, she was saying she needed to go to the ER, so I told her to go and get checked out. I took the car and went to the treatment center as I surely was not going miss my treatment. When I came back, she had decided to leave early and flew home that afternoon.
One thing I never expected is that the friend that offered to help would come with her own health issues that then began to take over. My friend got me through the first few days out there, and I was grateful for that, but I will say I was glad when she left.
No excuses need to be made to people who offer you help that does not work for you, it is just "thank you for your offer, but I am all set." Just remember that what others want suggest may not be what you need.
CVmarilyn- going to check out that article!
Love to all here today!
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Jazzy,
Thank you for sharing your friend story with me. Wow. Thank you for understanding and validation.
XOXOX
Laurie
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Curveball I know how u feel, everytime I get something it's a bigger deal than ever. I rarely got colds and now I do too. Just hoping it a stupid cold like most od us are getting now, but take care of u'r self really good.
Markat I'm glad u had a good day with u'r mom, keep us posted.
Laurie it's so understandable not wanting anyone there. U can loveingly call u friend and just simply tell her at this point u really want to do thid with u'r family only. And u'r DH would like that too, and u would rather have her visit when u're really up for it cuz u want to enjoy her visit and look forward to that instead of u being her patient. 37 Yrs is a long time, she should understand u by now and won't take offense. I hope u make the call so it's off of u mind not to worry about that. Let us know too how it goes.
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@camillegal, I went to the urgent care on Monday and they said it is just some sort of virus. It's just taking so much longer to recover than it would have in the past. Or maybe I just pushed it too hard too soon after a tiring trip. Anyway I am pulling in my horns for a couple of days until I am really over it. We are supposed to get some nice warm weather the middle of the week and that will help too.
My last day on the job is this Thursday. Retirement, here I come--ready or not!!!
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Curveball--Thursday--last day--how do u really feel about it? It is life changing I know. Bit it is what u make it, and u can choose the times to get up early or not or if u need to slow down u rest whatever u feel like doing u just do it. If it wasn't for the money (for me) it would be a wonderful thing cuz I never liked working but I always had to--so my experience was good in that way, but not healthwise I didn't plan on that. hahaha
And a virus always lasts longer so try to take it easy.
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Curveball- glad you only have a virus. Those always last longer for me than any cold. Glad this week you get to retire and enter a new phase of your life. Congrats on your retirement and hope you feel good about it. Warmer weather will be nice too.
Been working on piles today- piles of paperwork, piles of clothing to be put away, piles, piles, piles! But I am getting organized around home one pile at a time.
I hope everyone has a good week. Love and hugs to all the hermits here.
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@camillegal, I am looking forward to retirement. I had planned to retire this May before I ever knew I had cancer. Then, last year when I found the lump but before dx, I was thinking seriously about retiring right then even if it had turned out to be benign. Earlier this year, when I was finishing up chemo, I was asking myself, why am I still working? Then I got the stage IV dx and for a little while after that I kept working because I didn't want to "rock the boat" on my health coverage before the response came in on my PET scan appeal. But then someone in my support group said when she couldn't get coverage she just decided to pay for it out of pocket. Before that I though the scan cost as much as a car or something, but it turns out it costs more like what replacing my Mac computer would cost, so I decided I would do as she did, if it's not covered I will pay out of pocket. I think the next week after that I called the retirement office to make an appointment for getting my paperwork going. And then I ended up working a few days longer than the absolute fastest I could have retired with that appointment date, until May 1, so I would have employee health coverage through the end of May. Then after that I have retiree coverage with automatic premium payment taken out of my pension check, so no worries about health insurance. But my exit interview is this Thursday and I am turning in all employer-owned equipment, so I won't be able to actually work after that. I've got a little vacation time left so I will just use it up to cover those last few days. But really, I was ready to retire long ago in every way but financially.
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OK curve---u'r ready for it enjoy and u will Congratulations.
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Curve, here's to putting you first. Enjoy!
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OK I'm ranting so close u'r eyes if u want. Today is Dr. day and altho I used to be fine about going now it's a big deal for me --don't know why--All I have to do is take a shower and get dressed---I don't wear mak-up cuz they like to look at my skin ????But I do have 2 tiny spots on my cheeks (rosacea) but it looks like blush--no one in my family has that--our skin isn't exactly light being Italian. so it kinda looks like I did that for them hahaha Anyway I still hate going-actually hate it--why so much--?? I don't know but I've spent this last year seeing Drs. as much as I had during all my chemo and crap--I thought it would be over--well some of it. Oh well--by this afternoon I'll be home cuz to me it's so tiring and I can't wait til it's over. OK rant over.
The sun is finally showing up around here so it's supposed to be in upper 50's and maybe hit 60 this week--but it feels chilly to me so I'm still wearing wintery clothes.
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Curveball- I have watched many people take retirement earlier than expected due to health issues. I have also witnessed their health improve, lower BP, better energy, weight loss, you name it. Work is stressful no matter what you do for a living. Those that are fortunate to have work do the job of more than one usually. I am hoping you find more joy in the new world without the stress of employment.
Cami- rant away! I hate going to doctors too. I have to get some bloodwork this week, and will go see the med onc next week for an overdue apt. A long story for another time. I always wondered when I would be one of those people who was at the doctor all the time and spending all my money on medical care. Now here I am!
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curveball... I second all the warm wishes! Every single person who has left our school and come back for whatever reason has looked amazing. Brighter eyes, easier smile, refreshed. I think we all put up with so much stress, that eventually we don't even realize what we're putting up with.
Camille... I hope your dr day was not too awful. They can go both ways. I agree. I hate going (next one in May). Glad it's warming a little for you, though. I take a sweater or jacket wherever I go. Too often get stuck in some freezing a/c, and no longer can tolerate it well.
Wishing you all a good Earth Day. No one even mentioned it at school. Time marches on... It was once a huge deal.
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Hope everyone had a great day. I had to rush mom to the ER. Things aren't looking very good
She will start brain radiation as an inpatient for 5 days, then they need to figure out why she has a blockage in bile duct, guess it could be one of her mets. But they can't give her chemo until they can clear that because she won't be able to tolerate it. Her spirits were much better in the hospital tonight with some dilaudid and oxy to help her pain. I love her so much.
I hope it's okay that I talk about her on here. I'm sorry if any are offended by it.
I need to sleep! Love to all!0 -
Mark how can u even say that, this is u'r mom and she is so very importsnt to u. Of course u ave to tell us what's going on with her. She had to go to the ER-Damn this is so hard on u and her. Markar (((prayers))) for u'r mom and (((hugs))) for u oh so gentle. I wish we could be of help to u all we can do is liten and please tell us how she's doing all the time. Markat we all care what happening so no saying I'M SORRY--wrong words to use here. Sending Love.
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Markat, of course we want to hear. Hope you feel our love coming your way.
Cami, hope your Dr. day went as well as it could.
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Markat, Camille and ladies,
Sending love to all of you in all of your situations.
Xoxoxo
Laurie0 -
Hello all and thank you! Hope everyone is doing well today.
Camille hope the doctors went okay.
I think the doctors have decided no further treatment for mom. Its just too extensive and aggressive I'm on my way to the hospital now. I'm devastated...
Prayers and hugs to all. Curve enjoy your retirement. Laurie hug and kiss those kids
Teka post some pretty pics of flowers! Camille we need some funny pics from you! Florida, I hope work is going ok! Skittle, big hugs! Hope the doggy is good! Whaevah, I need gallons of martinis and pizza! Blondie hope the txs are okay! Jinkala did you have your MRI? Jazzy hope your having a peaceful day!
Bgirl I definitely feel the love, sending it back!!!!
If I forgot anyone I'm sorry! Love you all!0 -
i jus added this topic to my "favorites". will be back to talk a bit and respond to those who responded to me--and a community hello to all:)
right now, digesting the thought of possible surgery and overwhelmed with the new meds and treatments i'm receiving
but thankful .. hoping to find some comfort with them, till i can get myself NED.
love to all --wishing you the best~
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Hugs to markat and choc........thinking of you xxx
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Mark thinking of you!!!
Curve hope you feel better.....
jazzy {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}
thanks Laurie!!! You don't know the half of it, but it I do what I have to cause I have to...you have every right to want who you want, and unfortunately people are doing it for them, saying it is for you....
So nauseous, chemo tomorrow, then a week off, so excited....
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Hi Sissydi,
That letter could of been written by me....I too am a bit of a hermit and yes it seems that I barely have the energy to get through the day and sometimes find it exhausting to talk to anyone other than my sisters. I do recognize that it helps just to hear from people who are going through this ride. I have my share of tearful days and feel uncomfortable letting lose with my sadness to others. It does help to go on this sight and read the posts....I guess for me, I am just going to reach out when I feel ready....right now I am halfway done with my treatment..it feels like hell at times. I have a great husband and family.....I am working on getting a cat to add to my quiet household. I'm thinking i will put it on a list for my husband the next time he has to go to the store....maybe he will cave in.
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