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Lets do a Sh*t People say to Metastatic BC Patients

Fitztwins Member Posts: 144

Give me your best lines!! I want to make a fun video.



  • Fitztwins
    Fitztwins Member Posts: 144

    When will you be done with treatment?   um never

    What is your prognosis?

  • susan_02143
    susan_02143 Member Posts: 2,394

    Said with total disdain: "Why do they scan you? It won't change your treatment. Why would you want to know?"  -my mother

  • Mzmerz
    Mzmerz Member Posts: 80

    "Drink this tea, it cures cancer in like 2 weeks like you never had it"

  • Stormynyte
    Stormynyte Member Posts: 179

    Did they get it all.

    Oh you'll be fine. 

    Everything happens for a reason.

    You don't look sick, I think the Dr's just want your money.

    If it's not causing you problems, just leave it alone. (This is my grandmas idea) 

  • kita
    kita Member Posts: 11

    When I retire in 12 yrs we will buy a house and move to the east coast (my poor hubby)

  • kayrnic
    kayrnic Member Posts: 111

    "so how long do you have until you die?"

    "you must not have taken good care of yourself."

    "how cool, you get to pick out your new breasts!"

  • tina2
    tina2 Member Posts: 758

    "Are they (the doctors) sure?"

  • bhd1
    bhd1 Member Posts: 173

    U look great. When will u finish treatment. Where is the cancer?

  • steelrose
    steelrose Member Posts: 318

    "I haven't been feeling well either."

  • EnglishMajor
    EnglishMajor Member Posts: 122

     My great aunt has diabetes. She had to have her leg amputated and then she died.

    [Said by well meaning coworker trying to find something withn her own experiecece that reflected the metastatic reality, I guess.)

  • katie31
    katie31 Member Posts: 4

    When the kids are a bit older we will do x,y and z

    When you are better we will do x,y and z

  • EnglishMajor
    EnglishMajor Member Posts: 122

    "How was your PAP smear?" 

    [Said by different well meaning male coworker, apparently unclear on targeted nature of modern diagnostic techniques]

  • TonyaB
    TonyaB Member Posts: 6

    3.  "At least it's operable."                            My thought:  How do you know!

    2.  "My (fill in the blank) had it but they died.                     That is not helpful

    1. We're never happy, are we?                                          What??????????

  • EnglishMajor
    EnglishMajor Member Posts: 122

    "What doe this mean for your twin?"

    [Said by yet another well-meaning coworker, apparently not realizing that my brother and I are not identical.]

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 4,961

    My boobs are so big I wish I had breast cancer so I could get rid of them.

    (um, that's called a reduction...)

  • 4myangels
    4myangels Member Posts: 17

    This is beatable.

    So and so had this 20 years ago and is fine now.

  • seamstress
    seamstress Member Posts: 22

    At least you have the kind of cancer they can cut out...........said by an RN when I was in hospital with neutropenic fever.

    You have nothing to cry about, look at my heart surgery scar from when i was a kid........said by a CNA while I was in hospital with stage 4 cancer and listeriosis.

    You are not going to die......said repeatedly by my husband.

    There's nothing wrong with you.....shouted over the phone by my oncologist's RN when I told her I couldn't walk right.

    This is the one with a fellow church member as a way of introduction to some new people.

    Quit crying and quit my husband.

    Get well soon........on a card from my mother.

    Why do you have hair....I thought you told us you're on a fellow church member.

  • BouncingBetties
    BouncingBetties Member Posts: 50

     I'm just waiting for someone to tell me "Cancer's a gift" so I can slap them and then ask if they'd like to take my gift to them.

    Nana: "Don't say that! You don't have cancer!"
    ME: "But I do..."
    Nana: "But you won't soon. You're getting better!!"
    ME: "It's stage IV metastatic breast cancer...."

    "You look great! You don't look sick."

    "Are you terminal?"

    "What's your prognosis?"

    "[Insert name here] has breast cancer. She passed away [insert date here]."

    "Don't worry! You'll beat this!"

    "You're in remission now, so you'll be just fine."

    "You don't know that you'll die. There are new discoveries every day." (My Mom, who I love and know she is terrified that her only baby is going to die.)

    While I was starting round 2 of 6 of weekly chemo: "So are you going to be back at work soon?"

    And my all time favourite!

    "People die every day. None of us know when we might die." (Sometimes uttered separately.)

  • neogirl
    neogirl Member Posts: 54

    ""You are one lucky person. you get to stay home and get disability for the rest of your life"....          Really ?????

    "you look good. Looks like your treatment worked well. Now you don't have to worry about your  cancer anymore".

    Dx 3/2009, Stage IV, 1/18 nodes, mets

  • Jejik
    Jejik Member Posts: 26

    Said by oncologist, "no one knows how much time they have, I could get hit by a bus and die tomorrow."

    Yeah, except in my case the bus is going to drag me around for five years before I die!

    The most annoying one to me though, is people who say "why can't you just think positive. The cancer isn't coming back.You shouldn't even think such things."


  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 1,929

    "Did you ever think that maybe they're wrong, that there's no cancer?" Yeah, after multiple scans showing the same >#@%&* tumor in the same place.

  • redwolf8812
    redwolf8812 Member Posts: 580

    "Oh, you're so lucky you don't have to worry about styling your hair".

  • superfoob
    superfoob Member Posts: 121

    You must not eat asparagus or drink milk thistle.

    If you did, you wouldnt have gotten cancer. But now that you do, just eat both and you'll be good to go.

  • redwolf8812
    redwolf8812 Member Posts: 580

    "Why are you always so tired?"

  • BouncingBetties
    BouncingBetties Member Posts: 50

    Oh, Jejik, I've actually heard that last one as well. Often from my family. Let's see how "perpetually positive" these people would be living through what we do.

    Actually, that's another one:

    "You have to stay positive! Worrying about it won't make it any better." (My grandmother, again.)

  • scuttlers
    scuttlers Member Posts: 149

    Said by my Aunt two days ago: "God told your Mom that you are cured, isn't that wonderful!? No more treatments!". (I had another infusion today, am I wasting my time?") (oh, and I really hope that she doesn't tell my insurance, LTD, and SSDI!)

  • lukejessesmom
    lukejessesmom Member Posts: 7

    oh, you're gonna be just fine  by my friend who gripes about everything

    my allergies have been killing me this year..I know how you feel  by my ignorant sister-in-law

    oh, if something happens to you I'm taking the flat screen TV   by my wonderful Bf. I don't think so

    sometimes I forget you have cancer, as I try to keep up with her shopping    my neighbor

    I swear I think the whole damn worlds gone crazy! These are priceless..and pathetic.

  • singletona80
    singletona80 Member Posts: 44

    Oh you should be glad you don't have to worry about periods anymore...

    At least u don't have to spend time shaving ur body hair

  • EnglishMajor
    EnglishMajor Member Posts: 122

    Will they take your port out when you die?*

    [*Not actually said by any of my well meaning coworkers for change, but to an MBC friend of mine by her elderly neighbor]

  • learnin
    learnin Member Posts: 37

    "Can I have your running clothes?" - by a friend. Ummm - maybe I still walk in them sometimes? I'm not dead - yet. Please don't rush it.

    "How ARE you? Tired? Oh yes, I get that too" - sister in law. Hasn't called in 6 months since.