Pinktober Revolution
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Thanks, Sandy. I had no idea they were in Canada too. I will continue to be careful with where my donations go.
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OK. So in my town on Saturday there was a "run for the cure". It wasn't a Komen run, it was actually for the breast health section of a local hospital, so that was OK (IMO). What wasn't OK with me was that as we drove by all the pink balloons and women wearing pink tutus (ugh), I started to cry. In fact, as I type this I'm starting to cry again. I am angry, sad, scared and well, just too many emotions to even describe. I was sick the rest of the weekend, and I didn't realize until this very minute (when I started to type), just what it was that was going on with me. When we went to the grocery store and they asked if we wanted to donate, I was basically rude - didn't use it for a teaching moment at all....
I think maybe I need some therapy. I'm not real sure how I'm going to make it through the rest of this month, especially since it's also my cancerversary.
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barbe, I hope you're not making fun of my analogy. It involves more than just sending a rocket up into the air. But they're not getting on the moon without a lot of adjustments in the process, even after lift off. I'll go further to say that the article helped me on a personal level years ago. I used to think I was supposed to have everything figured out and know exactly what I was doing all the time. It made me fearful of making the wrong move, doing the wrong thing. That can immobilize a person. And the point of the article was that you have to make a move in the direction you want to go in, and along the way, when you need to make changes or adjustments, make them. As a child of an alcoholic father and mentally ill mother, it was life changing for me to understand this concept.
I'm not a rocket scientist, but I am very sincere about each one of us getting the word out to others to shift the momentum of the pink ribbon campaign,stop 'prettifying' breast cancer, and make it known that even with all the money being thrown at bc, little progress on prevention and a cure is being made. The beginning effort of the pink ribbon campaign, in my opinion, was sincere but its meaning has been blurred. We have the power to alter the perception so all our efforts are much more effective at learning how to prevent bc and to find a cure.
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It's really amazing to have my BMX/TE scheduled for Oct. 16th. I was just diagnosed on 9/12, so it all hit me right when the pink flood hit the stores.
oh! Just before I hit submit I saw TheDivine's post....exactly what I was trying to explain to a friend and my DH last night. That all of the marketing is making it a cute bandwagon to jump on. But this is cancer and it's serious.
I've always loved wearing pink. It's my 2nd favorite color to wear...I'm very fair-skinned and pink works.
But I've never liked ONE MONTH of awareness. I've been aware since my mom's best friend died when I was 10. Then my grandma died. Then my mom and aunt got it. Etc etc.
I'm having a hard time not screaming when I get groceries and see pink spatulas. Seriously???
I'm not sure if I'll ever feel good wearing pink again. Ironically, I will wake up in the hospital the day after my surgery.....on National Breast Reconstruction Awareness Day. If my Facebook friends start posting bra colors again.........
(I already have my speech/status prepared. Lol. Just hope I'm able to type it!!)0 -
Dulci, in my 40s, I started wearing pink when I wanted that extra special look. My husband loved the color on me. I feel differently about it now. I wear it once in awhile, but hope others don't think I wear it because I'm drumming up some kind of sympathy for the cause. That sexy feeling I used to have wearing it, nope, not no more.
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I wear pink all the time - my husband like it on me. I just don't wear it in October anymore.
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Re Komen and Canada:
Although Komen is affiliated with Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation, all money raised in Canada stays in Canada. This is what I was told when I phoned Toronto head office of CBCF and spoke to a member of the fundraising committee.
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Meh. I like pink just fine, and have a few pink things. (Too much pink has always made me feel a bit ill in any context.) I'm not going to let this damn disease take that away from me, too. Most strangers who see me will never know I had cancer, so I don't expect them to assume that if they see me wearing a pink dress. (They're more likely to judge me for other things, anyway.) If a stranger were to say something about bc awareness or something because I was wearing pink, they would get an earful from me- and I would not be polite about it, either.
But I will never, ever, wear anything with a pink ribbon on it, put a pink ribbon magnet on my car, whatever. Fuck that.
Everything I have been given since my diagnosis that had a pink ribbon on it has ended up in the trash can. Except for one t-shirt, which I got right when I'd just cleaned out my closet to donate to charity, so I tossed that shirt in, too.0 -
I have such mixed feelings about Komen....
Nancy Brinker is a powerful, politically-connected, independently wealthy woman. She still collected her $400,000+ per year salary from the Komen Foundation as she was working full-time elsewhere. The Planned Parenthood debacle was just the tip of the iceberg. Doing any kind of in-depth research into corportate Komen will make you scream.
On the other hand, the Komen director here in our local organization is kind, selfless, devoted, and committed to helping other women with breast cancer.
The day after I was diagnosed, I called her office and left a message. She called me at 9:00 on a Friday night, having just gotten home after a business trip. She said she'd received my message, and she didn't want me to go through the weekend without being able to talk to someone. And talk we did.
She was upbeat, encouraging, comforting, and put me in touch with other important resources. She encouraged me to come to the Race For The Cure, which was just a few weeks away, and look for her so we could meet in person.
Even though I felt like a fish out of water at the Race (everything was so new to me and I was overwhelmed...I had no idea what the future would hold), I did get the very strong message that around 90% of all funds raised at our local functions stayed right here in the community to help local women.
Even though our local director was dealing with some horrific complications of her own breast cancer, she has been a strong, positive, dedicated role model for other women. Whatever her salary is (and it can't be that much) she earns every penny.
I'll walk again at this year's RFTC. This time, I'll be walking with our local support organization (Sisterhood of Survivors).....best darn group of funny, dedicated, hardworking volunteers I've ever met.
Last year I was horrified at the pink wigs and pink tutus on some of the other groups. I thought it looked like a circus. I happened to mention that to my MO, who gently reminded me that each of us celebrates and grieves in our own unique way. That pretty much stopped my judgement in its tracks. I have no idea what those other women have been through.
I think when we start developing an "us vs them" mentality, we all lose. And I sure was guilty of that.
It's taken a year for me to come full circle about this.
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Wonderful words of wisdom, Blessings. Thanks so much for sharing them. I trust that once I get over this initial shock that seeing pink NEXT October won't feel like such a slap in the face reminder that I have cancer. It's good to look forward to coming full circle.
My dear mom had her first dx and Mx 20 years ago and the second one just 8 years ago. She looks fantastic in pink and she makes a point of wearing pink every day in October. I just might wear mine in November. ;-)0 -
Not sure if I posted this on here, but I went to dinner with my son last week.........while we wre waiting for our entree he handed me a bag, and said "here I thought you might like this"..........inside was a book by Dr. Oz. about cancer, not just breast, but a few types and how to help yourself during the trying times.................then there was a small black box, very pretty with a ribbon on it "not pink"...............inside was a heart shaped white gold necklace, and hanging right on the heart was a BC sign, done in pink swavorski crystals..........it is absolutely beautiful...........he told me he went to a benefit for the mother of a woman who works for him, and bid on this necklace and book in the "silent auction".......his bid won.......................I know how I feel about the promotion of "money making" schemes for BC, but this was different.................I have had more compliments on it since wearing it, but along with that sometimes comes the "questions"....................but that's ok, everyone can use a little education................so sometimes the "pink symbol" isn't always bad.........................just when people extort it...................hugs.
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I frankly don't care that Komen funds stay in Canada - I want ALL monies raised to go for research and help for patients who need funds for medicine, food, rent, etc. - this AWARENESS stuff is just so ridiculous - who isn't aware of bc anymore and as for all the pink and the walks and the runs, etc. to each her own but the pinkwashing is just so overboard now and sickening to so many of us - I never wear pink in October and rarely the rest of the year.....
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I don't know why Komen is needed in Canada. Since when does the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation need a partner from the US? Does that mean more administrative costs that go to Komen? The CBCF has been around for a long time already. In terms of support both Willow and Wellspring offer a great deal of support - frankly I found CBCF useless when I needed help. This is very disappointing to me. Maybe someone can tell me why I might be wrong.
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Altho I love Hot pink I would never wear it in focktober.
I have been wearing orange and black for halloween.
gonna go check out fb.now and see if i can do some more damage!!!!!!
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Good words Blessings. I think that's the path I will end up on. My mammogram center was built with Komen dollars. It's the only option in my city, so there is/was good being done, at least at one time. I just think that like many ideas and/or companies, what started as a good idea was comprimised by its own success. Too many egos involved.
I don't wear a lot of pink now, but I didn't before either. I put on one of the few pink things I own on the first, and then took it off and opted for another shirt. I'll put it away for now, along with my pink summer robe. I agree about not letting BC cancer take away something else.
What makes me mad is stuff like all the pink stuff the football players are wearing at games. How much more good could have been done with the funds it cost to purchase all that pink crap? Wigs and tutus? That one depends. If it is a person with BC that is wearing it and that's their way of expressing themselves, than who am I to judge them? Different strokes, as it were. On the other hand, if they are not, than they need to become "aware" of how many people find it offensive.
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The pink items the NFL players are wearing will be auctioned off, and the proceeds will be sent to the American Cancer Society.
http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d812e36ef&template=with-video&confirm=true
If you have a problem with what they are doing, maybe you should contact the NFL, and give them your ideas of where you think they shoul donate the proceeds, and why. Personally, I think it's a good thing, reaching a different audience.
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This is a copy of a thread I have going with Hungry Howies pizza. I wrote them after I saw their commercial with the pink boxes for BC awareness:
Exactly how much are you donating and to whom? There are a lot of people making money off our horrible disease with scant little of it going to research or patient support. I know I speak for many breast cancer patients/survivors when I say your pink boxes diminish us and make us nothing but nauseated. Please do us all a favor and just give a donation to a reputable program that is not all about "awareness" if you care so much.
STOP PIMPIN' THE PINK!
Like ·Hungry Howie's Pizza Hi, it is great to hear you are a survivor, and we appreciate you posting your concern. The National Breast Cancer Foundation is actually a very reputable program, that yes, raises awareness, but does a lot to help women and men with the prevention and treatment of breast cancer - including providing free mammograms for those without insurance. This is our fourth year partnering with them, and over the last 3 years we have raised and donated over half a million dollars to NBCF. If you are interested in supporting without pizza, there is a link where you can make a straight donation to NBCF on our Love, Hope & Pizza page: https://www.facebook.com/hungryhowies/app_140704646026313
9 hours ago · Like
Hungry Howie's Pizza Also, here is a link to NBCF's 2011 annual report to learn more for yourself, followed by a link to their website.http://s3.amazonaws.com/nbcf-production-assets/attachments/000/000/427/original/d91cd60703fa43c6161270af2f63e357
http://s3.amazonaws.com/nbcf-production-assets/attachments/000/000/427/original/d91cd60703fa43c61612
s3.amazonaws.com
9 hours ago · Like
Hungry Howie's Pizza http://bit.ly/R5Qubp
Information, Awareness & Donations :: The National Breast Cancer Foundation
www.nationalbreastcancer.org
You Have a Plan for Everything Else. Do You Have a Plan for Breast Cancer?An Ear...See More
9 hours ago · LikeMY RESPONSE
I appreciate you wanting to support our cause, but the pink boxes need to go. No one with breast cancer wants to see a pink pizza box. Trust me on this one. There is a very large constituency of us out here that have vowed not to purchase any product that routinely turns its products pink in October; and our numbers are growing. While we appreciate the support of our cause, please take the money it cost for the pink boxes and donate it with your other funds instead of wasting it on a box. The pink-washing of our disease needs to stop. You have the opportunity to be a leader in this area instead of a pink follower; unless, of course, it's all about the Benjaman's. I recommend you watch Pink Ribbons, Inc. to see just how real breast cancer survivors feel about the marketing our disease.
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OK ladies, here's our chance. This was the response from Howie's regarding my FB post as noted above. Anyone care to give me any input before I respond?
Thank you for sharing how you feel. It is our question, then, how without calling out the cause being supported, are the hundreds of thousands of donations garnered? We are very sorry to offend or upset anyone at all with breast cancer; however, some with it feel the opposite - and see it as support knowing that others care to invest their own money and time into raising funds to go toward helping. Where is the middle ground? And we are not asking tongue in cheek, we are asking sincerely as this is something that is very important to us, and you, and are very interested in how you feel and what your suggested solution is.
We have a chance to give some constructive suggestions. I'll respond later this evening.
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Mini, thanks a gazillion for sharing your correspondence with Hungry Howie (never heard of them but your questioning and their answering is so insightful). The following is from a blog at "Pinkribbonblues.com" which I received in my email today. It puts into words how I feel:
For a time, the pink ribbon served as a useful symbol to promote this agenda, but today the ribbon has morphed into a logo that has come to represent the breast cancer "brand", and as such, has lost its potency for social change.
Yet while there have been marked improvements in treatment that are responsible for the overall decrease in breast cancer deaths in the last few decades, we do not know what causes breast cancer, how to prevent it, how to keep it from coming back post-treatment, or how to prevent people from dying from it. The statistics for metastatic breast cancer (the terminal cancer that spreads to bones, lungs, liver, or brain) remain virtually unchanged. Some 40 thousand people continue to die each year from metastatic disease. Not early stage breast cancer. Pink ribbons do not save these lives. Neither does personal will, an upbeat attitude, or eating all of your fruits and vegetables.
There are also few options for those who are diagnosed with stage zero pre-cancers, known as DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ). Even though many of them would never progress to become life threatening, they tend to be treated as if they would. Bi-lateral mastectomies remain a treatment of choice for many. Neither of these scenarios represents a success story for breast cancer. Dr. Len Lichtenfeld of the American Cancer Society, while noting the successes in the field of breast cancer also acknowledges that the system has overpromised and underdelivered. Pink parties and superficial awareness campaigns are not bringing us any closer to finding the answers we need.
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Blessings, you sound like a wonderful, insightful woman. I love your previous post about how you decide who to support when it comes to cancer.
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Divine, I haven't read the rest of the posts since yours as I'm anxious to let you know that I was NOT making fun of your analogy!!! I thought it was BRILLIANT!! But I do find the image amusing...like the comic who said it would be easy being a rocket scientist...if they asked him how much fuel to use he'd say "fill it up"! Sorry you mis-understood my sense of humour!
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Perhaps suggest to "Howies Pizza" that a small printed announcement inside the lid of the box can tell the world that they have in fact donated X$ to Breast Cancer Research (in whatever city they're in) and will do so every October - they could put the percentage amount say $2 from every pizza (or whatever) but no more pinking, NONE! I question why they are pinking sounds to me like it drums up business which is what we're all thinking isn't it - making money off OUR disease - sorry but I find it disgusting - why don't they just put us all out of the highways with pink tin cans collecting money - sorry for the rant but this just makes me crazy.
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Itsjustme10 - I was not aware of the auction, but they are on my list to write. The AMC society does a of things, but donating to RESEARCH is not one of them. Precious few of their dollars go there. They are below Komen on that list. And what different audience? I'd be willing to bet that nearly everyoone in that arena knows breast cancer exist. If they want awareness than let them get cheerleaders with no breasts bouncing around out there on the field. That will get some attention and make at least a part of the audience aware of what we lose outwardly with this disease. I don't care if they leave the big pink ribbon on the field, but unless they are making more money on the auctioned items than they are spending on them and donating it to a REASEARCH or SUPPORT organization, I will still object.
Our problem is not awareness. In fact, I think the awareness is beginning to have the opposite effect. People think that because they are told survival rates are up and more people are being treated that they don't need to worry so much about it. People wear a pin or something pink and think they are doing something that they are not. We are going the way of the car alarm.
I don't mean to be rude or short. I truly don't. You are entitled to your opinion and if you like it, that's your right; as it is for any of us here. I just get fired up when I see all the pink in October and then come November everybody will go back to not giving a flying fig. Until they or someone they know is diagnosed, that is.
PEACE
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Mini1, many of those players wearing pink grew up in poverty, and their mothers, grandmothers, aunts, etc. were afected by breast cancer. So, I don't see that it hurts anyone. Some of the things that Komen backs, like setting up programs from free mammograms for the uninsured, or those portable truck mammos that appear at community centers to make care accessible are examples of programs that, while not reasearch, are still necessary. I may not like their politics, but I express my displeasure with my checkbook - none of it goes to them. Same with the American Cancer Society - not a cent.
I just don't see the reason for the nasty slogans, for women bragging about vandalizing property with stickers, etc.
A tshirt that simply says "Thank you for making me aware...
Now find a cure....
My LIFE depends on it"
would strike up conversations about the need for more research dollars and not make people defensive. The aggressive tone with which it seems like people are trying to "educate" others could end up in fewer dollars being donated to charities for breast cancer. Awareness, research, both are necessary. And no one wants to be told that their efforts are not only in vain, but hurting people. Why bother, then?
Why not start your own charity and donate all the donations to a research foundation - maybe MD Anderson or some place - and have a positive effect on the meaning of this month? Or organize a telethon for mid-October, with all the funds going to research? Or even create a watchdog organizatin to track where donations are going (or whether there are any donations at all), and make that information available to the public? That actually might be one of the best things you all could do - kind of like Charity Watch, but OctoberWatch - how much of each sale for every pink product is going where and expose those companies misleading the public. Now that I've written it out, that is probably a great idea...people want to help, and a place to see where their dollars are going, so they can make an educated decision about a donation or purchase is something that is necessary.
I dunno - it seems like ultimately the goals are the same - wipe out breast cancer - but the road to the end is different. There has to be a compromise somewhere...
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oh, barbe, thanks so much for setting me straight. I think earlier this morning when I read your post, my mind was in a different place, and now I get it. I apologize for misunderstanding your written words.
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If I notice people doing something in vain, I'm going to point it out. No, people don't like it, but why let them keep putting their efforts into something that's not helping? I apply this to anything I notice, not just bc awareness.
The truth isn't always warm and fuzzy.0 -
Great post, itsjustme10. I'd rather err on the side of kindness when it comes to my friends and loved ones doing what may seem stupid and unneccessary. I posted a "Please Think Before You Pink" type of post on my Facebook page, and one of the first responses was from a very sweet elderly lady informing me that she had already gotten all her pink shirts out to wear in October in my honor.
So - she absolutely missed the point of my post, but do I slam her? Tell her she's an idiot and doing absolutely nothing for the cause? No. I'll thank her for loving me and praying for me. And then I'll work something into the conversation about how some companies are making huge profits off our misery. Since she's never had breast cancer (and may not have known many people who did) she is doing what she thinks is a good thing. And I really, truly am honored that she would think of me like that.
Cottontail - you are absolutely right. The truth isn't always warm and fuzzy. Nor is it pink and cute and frivolous when it comes to breast cancer. But my anger - that deep, resentful, indignant, righteous fury that has been brewing the past few months has been tempered.
My mom always said that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. I say you can catch more with a fly swatter, but that's beside the point, unless your goal is a bunch of dead flies.
I would rather make converts of 100 of my friends, then blast 5 strangers out of the water because they don't have the faintest clue what BC is all about.
Well....a year ago, neither did I. I was one of the clueless ones. And I think back on how I would have felt if someone I knew came at me in anger because I bought something with a pink ribbon, honestly thinking I was helping.
Now that I know better, I want everyone to know better.
My way is just a bit different, though. It's "thank you for loving me and supporting me, now here's how you can make an even BIGGER difference."
I think we're all saying the same thing here.
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Blessings20 0 -
Well, both Blessings and Mini's approaches can work! Look, if we're talking NFL, and large corporations where money is king, hey, those guys can take what you dish out. Sometimes nice and sweet ain't gonna cut it. Some people have the ability to argue a point to get their message across and make others stand up and notice. I admire that. I wish I could think quicker on my feet and respond to people verbally better than I do, and write those kinds of effective letters.
On the flip side, sometimes the better choice is to kindly educate others. I wouldn't ever blast my friends or family.
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The use of the pink ribbon itself isn't in controversy here. It's the use of pink hammers, pink drills, pink toilet paper, etc. Why don't they just keep to the use of a small pink ribbon? Subtle but effective. BUT, I'd like to train their focus from "Awareness" to "Knowledge". Every SINGLE person, male or female that I've talked to about breast cancer since my diagnosis thinks it's curable. THAT is the crime here!!!! I calmly ask why there are "Run for the CURE" events every year - stressing the word "cure". It's almost, almost fun to watch the penny drop. They gasp and say, OMG, you're right!!!! Now wouldn't THAT be a more effective "cause" for Foctober? I think a LOT more money would be donated knowing that a CURE had to be found.
I had a boss's boss that was an absolute dink!! He made millions off the sales efforts of those of us "underneath" him. During meetings he even called us the "fruit on the ground" as he flew over!!!!! Anyway, he ALWAYS wore a pink ribbon (Swarovski, of course!), year round on his suit. Dink or not, every single morning when he got up he had to conciously take that pin in his hand and put it on his lapel (unless he had dozens of pins already on...
). So THAT kind of thinking is what we need. Slow and steady....from dinks or not! heheheheheheh 0
