2013 Survivors!!!
Comments
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2FriedEggs....we missed you .....❤ my sincere condolences ...Shianne is right, C
seems to affect so many now.
Liefie....so sorry to hear about your cousin, yup, too young...Oh where is that cure!!!!!
Chrisrenee.....had a feeling you were going through some "stuff". I'm not surprised
considering what your family has just been through, and yes, stop stop stop beating yourself up...this will pass along with getting back on your weight watching ....cut yourself some slack. Glad you posted ...we've missed you a lot....❤
Wow McCook....sorry this is happening to you...you've also been dealing with one thing after another.
Melissa...welcome back.
Websister is it today or tomorrow you get your results....sending strong positive vibes your way...❤
Karen...loved the story about the scale...too funny.
Tazzy....so right about everybody here.....I couldn't have made it through without your love and support.....just love you all.❤❤❤....can't wait to hug you gals in Chicago
and Iowa.0 -
Quick post
I have been following but not posting much this week
I won't respond to all but know I am with you all through good and bad
So good to see you back 2Fried, Melissa and Chrisrenee
Thinking of you McCook, rejoiced with Ramols and agreed with Tazzy, Caroline and Shianne re: my sisters and what having you here has meant to me since my diagnosis last June
Scottie - my appointment tomorrow is at 1030 and I will be wearing big pockets
Take care everyone0 -
Hey websister..... jumping in pockets - will bring treats.
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Hello Ladies
So feel better today and did some me time! Took off work went to the city and walked around and did a little shopping. Got a pedi and just try really hard to relax! I lost three lbs this week so was happy about that!
I had a appointment (or was supposed to) with my Pt to check out my arm but she was not there and I missed that vm this am so guess I will see her next week.
So I am flying to Out to NC Saturday. And man they have packed our day with lots of activities- Sunday we run a 5 mile trail run, go white water rafting, do some boat team race etc and then saw go out on the town. Ha! I will be lucky if I can stay awake past 8:) I don't know why but I am so nervous! I do not know any of those people going and I am feeling so insecure which is so not like me. I know I will be fine and not sure why I am stressing out about this! Before BC I would never feel this way! Maybe just a little of that dark place I go some times but I know once I get there it will be an amazing experience!
Karen- that sucks! And I can totally feel with out! But you are strong and you will not let that get you down! These darn drugs we take a toll on our body! Hugs!
2fried- sorry to hear that you are dealing with so much! I am thinking about you!
Tazzy- agreed on what you said! I love all of you!
Everyone else I missed - have a wonderful holiday
We have aches and pain, fear, body changes etc! But we also have each other and we also are some strong ladies! Don't forget that! When I get down I try hard to tell myself that I just went through things this past year that most people can not even comprehend and they can never understand but all of you can and I know what you have been through and I know each and everyone of you are warriors and need to be proud of that!
Day like this when I can slow down and take time away from it all are really good for me and I highly recommend it:) I don't get these days often and I need to try and find more time for that!
Hugs and Love!
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2FriedEggs- you've been so missed, glad to hear from you and sending prayers - too many losses and in such a short time frame. I have a question, did you buy that sign or just take a photo of it? I've learned so much from you! I guess my Doctor doesn't test for CA - either. I actually have no idea what any of that is. I will check out the article, sometimes ignorance is bliss.
We've been out shopping and I saw a We Care Cancer store. Of course I stopped. I met the nicest lady, a 23 years survivor who had a double mastectomy! I got goose bumps. She looked wonderful, had a terrific personality and sponsors a Cancer Run on November 10th for all types of Cancer. I doubt I will be back on that date but I did offer to use all the beads I brought with me and would donate special items for her store to sell to help raise money and take care of local Cancer patients. She touched my heart! Angels are everywhere.
Websister - in your pockets with treats. This week it's pineapple/cool whip cookies and Zuccini cookies. Our TV is being set up right now for Satelite, my installer thinks my cookies are great! I'm always ready for pocket trips and company.
My new scale and I are making friends. It was much better this morning. I will be ready by tomorrow!
I have several aunts and cousins with BC also. We need a cure, the sooner the better.0 -
Karen: crap to your news and gentle hugs – love the scale story.
Believe: I’m with you – really don’t want to weigh in – I feel such a lard arse last couple of weeks…. But I will post as it holds us accountable and there are some good losses out there I know.
Liefie: good to hear your recovery is coming along nicely. If and when I decide on recon I was going to ask about the DIEP… in fact it was what by BS actually suggested when I first met him.
2Fried… hugs, hugs and more hugs
Chrisrenee: I agree with the others – stop being hard on yourself… be gentle. You and your family have been through so much.
I know I am missing so many of you – sorry, but sending out some positive mojo to you.
Last couple of days in HR education sessions have taken their toll… I am exhausted. Also my right arm and underarm is really hurting – shooting pains along scar line happening again – do wonder if its just tiredness but am going to call my nurse navigator tomorrow.0 -
Tazzy, so sorry to hear you have pain again - not cool! Hopefully it's not serious - enough already! When you're ready for DIEP, you have a few veterans here who will be able to advise you. Can just tell you it feels wonderful to have a soft, warm boob again. It is still bruised and swollen, but to me it's just wonderful. . . finally feel whole and feminine again.
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Websister, jumping in those big pockets with everyone else,
Mcook, have a wonderful trip to NC, just let yourself enjoy it!
Tazzy hope your arm is feeling better and you just over did it.
Believe, glad you have made friends with your scale, that is a good long term friendship.
Everyone else sending hugs.
We are starting our long weekend going camping before I head back to work. Plan on hiking at Maquoketa Caves park this afternoon since it might be the only nice day we have all weekend.0 -
Jumping in your pocket Websister! Look out everyone here I come!
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OMG where do I start! I am just going to have to be brief since I am at work. I am sending love and hugs to all who are still experience aches, pains and hot flashes (and new problems too)... Tazzy, Karen, mcook, shianne.... (who did I miss!?) That just fucking sucks that our QOL is still being affected...
websister; will be checking in to see if your post your reults... in your pockets too!
mcook; they will all love you like we do. You share a common bond and goal. Just be yourself and that will be plenty!!!
2fried; FUCK THIS FUCKING DISEASE!!!! I think I would have to take a car ride and let out a giant scream to process the loss you have had. Even you conveying to us just brings me to a place of raw anger! So hard to be angry at a something that you can't see or touch... it's like a ghost! Fucking cancer...
liefie; yes it's amazing how I can feel womanly again after feeling like Frankenstein for so long. It has come back slowly, but I am start to get my mojo back.
Tazzy; so well said, about this group. I remember my darkest moments in NC visiting the in-laws... 2 weeks after my 3rd infusion of AC (September 28, 2012 to be exact). I was LITERALLY suicidal, hot flashes, restless leg syndrome, insomnia, unbearable muscle cramps (that the horrible bed didn't help), explosive diarrhea... and I found myself in the middle of the night posting to our thread. Even in those moments you were all with me. My lifeline to sanity; knowing my words would be embraced by someone who understood my pain and would return nothing but love and kind words. I love you all... more deeply then I could ever adequately verbalize.
So I am turning the whole house situation over to my higher power, hunkering down and waiting it out. I can only hope that it's meant to be...
I have a new sponsee who is so raw and so in the middle for trying to find herself and some peace in recovery. I am spending the afternoon, after I go to the gym, (we close early for the holiday weekend) with her going over her first step. "Came to believe that we were powerless over our addiction and our lives had become unmanageable". So appropriate as I have to accept my own powerlessness in my current situation I get to spend the afternoon helping someone else internalize theirs. God always puts the right things in my life to help me get to where I need to be manage a situation and stay spiritually fit/centered. I'm so grateful.
AND - according to myfitnesspal I have lost 16 pounds in total (that would be from January). Most of it has been in the past 1 1/2 months. I have been exercising 1 to 2 times a day and counting EVERY thing that goes in my mouth. When I got to a place where doing this, this liefstyle change; and embracing the excerise (almost looking forward to it), to being focused on HEALTHY instead of skinny... that's when it happened... FINALLY the results. chrisrenee; give yourself a break. You can have a bad week, a bad month even, but just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on Jillian!!!
xxooSo I also found out yesterday that my boss is leaving the company in mid July. There will be a transition period and they won't be filling his position right away - so I will be the only Loss Prevention, which is retail theft, (LP) person in the office (there is one in the Canada office). I will report directly to the CFO and will take on a lot mroe responsibilty for things I have not yet been taught. I'm filled with fear of failure, but also open to the possibilities this opportunity/exposure to new things might bring. I will get a crash course in the analytic/reporting side of LP before my boss leaves. He was going to mentor me slowly over time and teach me. The CFO is a great guy and I like him a lot. I interviewed with him last year too, and he knows my background and that I need to learn a lot of things too. Told me to not be shy about asking. But my boss has been my sheild. I deal with him alone and it's been easy and comfortable to be here. It's a bummer. So... that's my latest life event.
Thanks for listening ladies! xoxo
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Latigger - long term relationship with my scale, how cute. We're off to a good start. I weighed in at 157.4. Yeah, I see progress. Not sure what exercise program I will use here in the desert. No treadmill, no mall, too hot for outdoor activities. I will find something. So peaceful here.
Enjoy your long holiday week end!
Juneau - your work sounds like a new opportunity for you. We already know you can face any challenge successfully!
Mcook - enjoy your week end. Find time to rest your mind and body too.
Websister - don't forget to mention to your team, we look forward to good results!
Hi Shari - I hope everyday you are feeling better. Life is good.0 -
Thanks all; I had allowed myself to go to dark thoughts, like how hard it must have been for my cousin and her daughter to watch each other die and most likely not have the energy to help each other etc etc. My dh reminded me that while it was a horrible situation for them to be in, it may also have enabled them to fight longer and do some of the neat things they did that were on their bucket lists. They did have alot of friends helping them as well. I think he may have something there so I am going to rechannel my thinking. The husband/father has decided that since he had the traditional type memorial for my cousin in January, he has postponed his daughters service because he wants to take a trip or something to get away then come home and throw a unique type memorial more fitting for his daughter. Sorry I stayed away for so long then came back such a downer but it was all so close to my own diagnosis and treatment that in addition to being sad for their losses I was in BC overload. Anyway, moving on to more pleasant thoughts....
Believe- I just took a picture of that plaque. As soon as I saw it I knew I was going to upload it here. Thanks to my phone camera, I manage to save alot of money! I am hoping that by taking pictures of some really cute but tiny clothes, and sticking them to my treadmill, I'll be encouraged to get on it more often! I use it to snap pics of recipes or a good idea in a magazine I come across when in waiting rooms as well. Alot of times too if I am running out of something I snap a pic of the package so when I go to the grocery store I know what to look for if it's something I don't use that often. You and that baking! It's just a dang good thing I don't live near you because I would be your baked goods number 1 fan and then most likely qualify as MRS FAT USA! As far as being in the desert and losing weight-maybe if you just go sit out in the heat, you'll sweat some off; too the heat takes away any appetite I have. (Hum, I need to get out in the heat myself !) You sound like you are doing great in the weight department though.
Juneau 16 pounds! Thats fantastic! But I think all 16 blew south and got stuck to MY thighs and butt! Hope your job gives you a raise when your boss leaves; guess that probably won't happen but that would be nice, eh?
Websister Your pockets are packed here as we await good news.
Have a great Memorial Day weekend.
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Below are all our weights from last time - some even earlier. Juneau you are our Biggest Loser - way to go girl. I think that 16 pounds have gone onto my middle and arse. But I know I have been bad - what with the outlaws here and eating out more. Oh! well enough excuses - back at it.
Sorry the formatting is a bit screwy. Back to work for me - hugs to all xxxxx
May 30
Aruba 168 170 168
Belinda 134 136
Believe 160 161.8 160.6 159.6
Chrisrenee 237 237 237 243
Cindy 194
GmaFoley 187 186
Joanne (loss) 1.2 1.3
Juneau 179.4 177.4 167.8
Iatigger 215 213
Ireland 178
KarenZ 172 172
Liefie 160.5 158 160
Mcook 129
Outdamspot 196 194 192
Shari 163
Tazzy 153 155 156
Websister 150 1490 -
I haven't caught up yet but had to post a purple things before my foggy brain forgets.
Tazzy, so sorry about the pain, sucks. Rest it up as much as possible. Diep, I had mine in January and hated it for a while, it was not my real boob. It was higher, firmer, and no nipple. Now, 4 months later its let down, and softened a lot. My scar on the boob is barely there and I'm sure after nipple recon on tattooing it won't be visible at all. The scar on abdomen is getting much better, I have one dog ear and wear I had the tearing its still quite dark but mostly it's fading fast!! So, overall, as I was told by many others I was impatient and now I'm happy with the results. I'll show you in July if you like lol
Juneau, I had to stop in the middle of your post because your line of "So hard to be angry at a something that you can't see or touch... it's like a ghost! Fucking cancer..." Reminded me of the story of one of my DS college room mates mom. She had uterine cancer but by the time it was caught it had gotten into her bones, liver and pancreas. The Dr in Tennessee told her 6 months, get your affairs in order. The family wanted a second opinion and went to New Orleans. 6 months of chemo got rid of the bone mets they operated, removed the uterus, part of the liver and were able to save the pancreas, only removing the tumor. That was 2 years ago. She is still NED but the really cool thing, they kept the tumour from the panceas for her to destroy!!!! The Drs there thought she "needed to see that it was out" in order to heal. How cool is that??
Anyway, back to catching up lol0 -
Haven't read posts yet today but I will catch up.
Quick update. The bone scan shows moderate degenerative changes since last bone scan June 2012, don't think mets but will order MRI. Probably result of chemo and tamoxifen. Of more immediate concern to oncologist and something I missed are two lumps - one right axilla and one right neck. I am waiting for 1245 Doppler ultrasound. She thinks the neck one may be clot from port. If so, need full anticoagulation and port removal. We shall see.
Thanks for being in my pockets, sisters. Sorry for the prolonged pocket party.0 -
Still in your pocket websister!!!! Keeping fingers crossed
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Websister hang in there but at our age there are bound to be degenerative changes even if we'd never had cancer. But couple that with with our meds we're lucky we aren't all a bunch of boneless Gumbys! I'm glad though you are getting the Ultrasound today and hope they can give you some comfort that it's non-bc related. Seems I've heard more ex-cancer-people lately talking about lump and bump scares a given period after their treatments. From what I hear some are enlarged nodes that turned out to just be allergy or flu bug related, and some the hematoma or scar tissue type things; just random things thrown into keep us on our toes that wouldn't even have phased us had we not had BC. We can take all of that kind of stuff though right? We just need to have our minds eased and it seems your OC is giving you all the tests you need to do that. We'll just continue this pocket party into happy hour if needed. Thanks for letting us know.
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Websister....I agree with everything 2FriedEggs is saying....thank you 2Fried for putting
it in such a supportive and comforting way...hang in there and take a deep breath...
this is our new life Wbsister lumps and bumps aches and pains....we said, it's the gift that keeps on giving!!!!!!0 -
Thanks, ladies - good advice. There was no clot, they don't know why I have swelling of neck or lump in axilla - they will let oncologist explore that. Could possibly be truncal lymph edema. Have prescription for gabapentin Juneau
. Will wait to her re: MRI.
Love you all, thanks for being there0 -
Ladies - i feel like i've been kind of MIA and I'm sorry. I've been reading, but haven't been able to keep up and respond. Joined this surviving and thriving online workshop study for ACA that started this week, and that is sucking up any non-work computer time i have after the kids go to bed. But i'm really enjoying it so far. Good timing for me too it feels like since my scans and aches and tingles have had me a bit down. Like Juneau said - sometimes things are dropped in front of us right when we need them! 2fried - good to see you again and glad a "happy" sign got you back here (maybe I was sending you mental telepathy!). Sorry for your losses... Karen - sorry about the arthritis... Mcook - rest up and have fun girl! Liefie - love your pic! Chrisrenee - hang in there. Juneau - sounds like you have some exciting stuff coming up to help distract from the stresses of house hunting! Websister - you know I'm in your pockets! I've forgotten so many - so hugs to you all!
Oh - and my other exciting bit of news is that we met last night with a tattoo artist who is a friend of the family and I am now 100% certain I'll be forgoing nipple tattoos and instead using my new body as a canvas for some artwork. I know it will be awhile until my skin, etc is healed enough to do the work - but I'm super excited to spend the next several months piecing together the design!!!
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Oh the aches and pains... Yes I do believe it is the new normal. We are aging as well but I think all the toxic shit they pumped us full of to kill that blasted disease has amplified and tenderness we have. I have n appointment next week with my GP for the stiffness and pain in the mornings. I know it's a result of chemo + tamoxifen but I also feel like why should I be suffering?
Websister I'm so glad it's not a clot and I agree could be swollen glands due to allergies or some underlying infection. Tough to wait tho. XO
Ramols, as the weather gets nicer and nicer I'm sure life is going to get busier and busier for a lot of us, you just check in when you can and know that we love you. And funny thing... I've spent the afternoon researching tattoos for my boob, tummy and belly button!!! Not sure how soon I can get it done but I've found a few that I really like. My BS is good friends with an artist so I'll use her. Lol. Coincidence?
Actually my BS and this artist donate time and resources to put together a calendar of patients who underwent mx with or without recon. They all have wash off tattoos. All proceeds go to the local cancer Center.
If I could figure out how to photobucket I'd post the ones I'm looking at lol0 -
Websister: still in those pockets.
2 Fried: agree with Scottie... how wonderfully put.
Shianne: beautiful story of your DS friend's Mum.
Couple of us deaking out of work hour early to go have a glass of wine on the patio. Then I head home, finish loading the camper and then off we go. So I will chat to you all next week.
Hope you all have wonderful, safe, SE free weekends.
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Tough week with family issues all. Please pray for us and thanks!
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OK, I have now caught up on the thread since yesterday.
Lots going on.
Juneau - you have a great attitude re: house. It will all work out for the best. Wonderful re: 16 lb weight loss, your perseverance is incredible - I remember the post after your beach vacation and how discouraged you were and here you are bragging about your weight loss. You go, girl! So good that you are also able to use your experience to help others with the 12 step program.And you are totally going to rock the new responsibilities at work, I have no doubt about it!
Tazzy - thanks for being in my pockets, hope you didn't get in trouble at work for being there! Sorry to hear about your arm and scar pain - no fun, hope a weekend helps - enjoy your wine and your camping. It's very cold and rainy here today, I hope the weather there is better.
2Fried - you have been through a lot and it takes a while to process it all. I like the perspective your husband lends and I like that the memorial for the daughter is being given care and thought as to how best to celebrate her life. Thanks for being there for me today and the advice given.
Caroline - sorry to hear about the family issues - praying and sending hugs ((()))
Ramols - I know you were in my pockets and I understand the busyness of a young working mom, you do well to keep up with us. I also understand re: aches and tingles getting you down. I feel like I can't trust what my body is telling me anymore, surgery, radiation and chemo have taken quite a toll. The program you are taking sounds very good.Oh, and the tattoo idea sounds great. I love the one that was posted on here a while back - gorgeous.
Shianne - interesting that you also were looking at tattoos. I will start thinking about my DIEP surgery, my RO will refer me to a BS when I see her in June. It takes quite a while up here to get to a surgery date so they want the process started.
Liefie - how did your appointment with the BS go today? You have done so well with your surgery it is a real inspiration for me. Time to get very serious about my fitness.
Shari - you have been fairly quiet yourself - how is everything going? When will you start your radiation.
To everyone else - thanks for being here
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Carolyn... When you're ready please let us know what's going on, in the mean time of course you can count on us to pray for you and your family. Sending love and strength!!
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wow, i hope i can keep up with everyone! I miss a couple of days and look what happens, Ha!
Sorry, this probably won't be in any particular order, but here goes...
Websister, pocket party!!! (everytime i read your name, the song Hey Soul Sister from Train goes thru my head..LOL)
2Fried, I'm so sorry for your losses!!! It's hard enough to wrap your head around what's going on in your own mind/body, and to have two losses like that in one family just doesn't make any sense. It's so fucking unfair!! My heart goes out to you and your cousin's family. Sending healing prayers!!
mcook, I am so excited for you and your trip!!!!! We all worry, but I bet you'll find these people to be the kindest, least judgemental people in the world. In fact, I bet they all are a little intimidated about getting together with a bunch of strangers. As far as the white-water rafting goes, we went about five years or so ago in West Virginia. It was a half day trip, cruising down the river, stopping for lunch on the shore, going over rapids. I was so scared, but it was a blast!!! That part def. could have lasted much longer!!!, Oh and they made a video that we could purchase after.....so glad we bought it!
Juneau, congrats on the 16 pounds!!!! You so deserve it, you have been working your ass off, literally, Ha! Your new job opportunity is just that. An opportunity! Look at what you've overcome. You are such a strong person and an inspiration to us all. I think you'll do just fine! (Your sponsee is so lucky to have you as her sponsor!!)
cmbernardi, sending hugs and prayers!!
Iatigger, have fun camping!! It's so nice to get out in nature. I haven't been camping in years and really miss it!!
Tazzy,....I cried when I read your post. I feel the same way. You guys are my rock, my source of inspiration, the shoulders i need to lean and cry on, the ears to whom i can vent, my advisors and my sisters. I couldn't do this without you!!! I know I can count on you to be here for me when i need it the most and that is the most comforting feeling in the world!! I love you all and want to thank you for your support!!
I had an appt. Thurs. with my OT. She showed me some more manual massage techniques for my breast LE and put some kinesio tape on my breast. My breast feels so much softer and the swelling has gone waaayy down! I need to continue to do exercises and deep breathing to help the lymph fluid drain properly. All of you who have had radiation should be aware of the signs of LE just in case!! I only had two nodes removed and really didn't think it would happen to me, so FYI.
DH fell in the kitchen the other night. He's okay, just sore, but this past year his MS has really messed with his balance and he needs a cane when we go out anywhere. He still tries to play golf every Saturday with his group of buddies who have been playing toether for the past 20 plus years. I think he thinks this may be the last year he can do it. I feel so sad for him. I just wish he would connect with other people with MS the way I do for my BC.
The pool guy came out and opened the pool Monday! Yay! The water is still a little murky, but it's not like we'll be using it this weekend. It will only be in the low 60's today. I heard 86 by Tuesday, tho. We'll def. have to run the heater then!!
Have a great memorial day weekend everyone!! Hugs and prayers to all and to those I've missed. Sheila:)
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Hi pretty ladies... Sorry I been so Mia..... Halfway done with rads and between that work, counseling dinners and some exercise classes I have been totally wiped out.. I am doing ok ... Trying to get my life back on track and not be so obsessed with this disease... But I have been better... Rads is making me tired but so far it's not so bad(knock on wood) .. Trying to move forward.... Gained a pound this week which is crAzy Bc I back to exercising So annoying....I am at 165 going to start a strict exercise plan come Monday
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Thanks to ALL for the good wishes! Happy Weekend.
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Happy Memorial Day weekend to everyone south of the border! Hope it's one filled with family, friends and fun!
Juneau-good for you, 16 lbs is amazing. Inspirational! I am struggling with no loss as I can't seem to control my cravings for food, any kind of food.
I saw a friend last night for the first time in about a month and he looks great and at 70, even younger! He told me he has given up wheat and sugar...and he has lost 14 pounds in 4 weeks. He is walking about 1.5 miles a day too. I think it is a plan I should try as wheat and sugar are my downfalls.
Scottiee-you're not reading this I hope!!!
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Shari, so good to see you!!! You are doing amazing if you are doing all that on rads. I was always so wiped out after. They tired me out more than chemo. The weight, ;-( I hear ya, exercising and dieting and no movement on the scale.
Swgee, hope your hubby can maintain his golfing, it really helped my mom. She's 71 now and this is the first year she isn't going to golf. She was dx'd with ms a long time ago, she falls frequently and gets tired but after fighting bc herself she was adamant that no disease was going to control her life. Unfortunately she is now in a wheelchair most of the time, and gets too tired. I think it would be difficult for a younger man tho, losing that sense of independence, not knowing when the legs will give out etc. how long has he been dx'd?
Carolyn keeping you in my prayers!!
Not sure if its the weather lately (cold, windy, damp) but my ankles, hands and lower back are so painful. And I'm soooo tired again, lacking interest or motivation. Shit, I thought treatments over I could get on with my life. I just feel like staying in bed. My DH and oldest DS are away till Monday for a golf tournament, so they are spared but I've got my youngest DS here and he's so bored. Lol if he were a little girl I'd have a tea party but he's rough and tumble and wants me to go shoot pucks at him!!! Any other day I'd LOVE that opportunity lmao. (Bad mother eh) Guess we can maybe go 4 wheeling.
Wishing all my American sisters a very happy and safe Memorial Day Weekend!!!0
