2013 Survivors!!!
Comments
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Congratulations Juneaubugg! I walked in the Harrisburg Making Strides on Saturday with my daughter and a good friend who's DH was diagnosed about a month after me. (We are both happy to say we are cancer-free.) I had very mixed emotions throughout the event but I'm glad I did it. Maybe that will be the step I needed to take to get myself moving again. I've gained so much weight thru all of this and I just don't have the motivation to get up and get going. I know I'll never look 18 again, but my daughter is getting married in June and I'd like to look a little less like the Michelin man and more like ME.0 -
PAEagels: start out just walking. That's what I did. I must say my weight loss has stopped and I"m REALLY FRUSTRATED! I am back to counting calories, in tandem with the no carbs/no sugar diet, and diet pills that the Dr. has put me on. Something's gotta give, right? I just keep moving and hoping; even when I want to sit and cry.0 -
juneaubugg-Congratulations!!0 -
Hooray! I'm home from my Mammogram call back. So stressful as I sat while the Doctor reviewed the pictures. I actually got to see them too. It looks like the surgeon left a lot of goodies behind. Surprised I don't glow in the dark or set off sirens at the airport. Your company kept me calm while I waited through several re takes. I kept hearing that song "Everything Will Be Alright" and finally they said I was free to go! Sigh, thank you all for your support. Sticking together really helps.
Mcook, Juneau and PAEaglesFan - congratulations on your accomplishments. All of you runners amaze and inspire me!
Waiting for the rest of our pocket party appts to check in! Hugs0 -
congratulations Believe on the good results!!!!!! I hope we cleaned up all the goodies out of your pockets.
Hugs to everyone!!!!!!0 -
Hi all! I am new to this forum and invited by a friend here. I am a bit of a mess right now and I don't really want to go to some counselor who hasn't been through this.
I was dx'd BRCA 2 positive in November and had my bilateral mastectomy with tissue expander placement in June. During the pathology of the tissue, they found a 7mm IDC mass, grade III/III, stage Ib. A month ago I finished my last chemo and had my expander exchange and some reconstruction on Friday of this past week. Yes, I am a survivor, but I am wondering if all of this reconstruction was worth it. I am feeling like a freak, like my husband is going to leave because I am not what I used to be. I am a bruised mess, I don't have real breasts anymore, I have Barbie boobs with massive incisions and bruises all over. I don't know if I will ever have a normal looking chest again, I don't know if I will ever be back to myself emotionally again. Yes, I am happy I didn't die from the CA, I am happy I will be around for my husband and sweet little boy, but I feel I am crashing and burning and don't know if I will ever get myself back. Has anyone else ever gone through this feeling? Please tell me it gets better. Please tell me I am not the only one who was worried about losing themselves?0 -
Welcome Amarance! My circumstances are different but we have a wonderful group of women in this group and I'm sure someone can give you the guidance and encouragement you are looking for. Our group has a talent for putting all the correct words together. I'm glad you found us and yes, you are a survivor. I'm not crazy about my mirror appearance either but I know my family is glad to have me around and I'm certain your family feels blessed to have you around too! It does gets better with time. Bruises on the outside are only temporary. You will feel better. Your name is very interesting, how did you come up with it?
I'm on the west coast, our best brains are on the east coast & Canada. You will be welcomed by all!0 -
Believe -so happy for you!!! I was with you but I stayed away from the cookies especially with it having coconut.
Aramance- glad you came on! You will love these crazy ladies.
Juneau and McCook how are you both feeling today after the walk yesterday?
Tomorrow is my preop appointment in super excited 1 week from tomorrow I will have nips!! It's been 19 months since I've had any that I may freak out once I see them. Nerves have officially set in and I still have a week before surgery. Although I am ready for a small vacation.0 -
Chrisrenee - vacation seems like a great perspective! Excited for you and the next step in your journey! (Our journey since we will all be in your pockets)0 -
I expect lots of snacks since I will be fasting after midnight Monday. When I had implants placed I went from 8p Tuesday to 9p Wednesday without eating. It didn't take me long to eat my chic fil a sandwich on the way home. I may come out 10 lbs heavier with all of you with me.0 -
virtual weight doesn't show up on scales:-)0 -
Thanks Believe...just hearing that has helped tonight. My screen name came about when I was in college. I used to play on computer games called MUDS (think World of Warcraft without the pictures...all text). I wanted a cool name so I used the word Romance, changed the "o" to an "a" and added an "A" onto the front and poof...Aramance. That has been my screen name for the last 20+ years. I like it, I know whenever I see it, it is me.
Thanks again for the support. It seems like I am going to need it for a little while.0 -
Chrisrenee, Thanks for bringing me out here. I needed the support and you have been that for me...a major support!!! Looking forward to talking more to everyone here. I can't wait to be part of this great group.0 -
Aramance - lots of thought went into your screen name. I knew it would be a story worth hearing. The secret to relaxing is lots of deep breaths. We are all here for you. Our little buddy Chrisrenee must not need sleep. We are the night shift:-)0 -
Aramance - Welcome! Reconstruction is a mixed bag. It is a very personal choice and we all go about it in different ways with different emotions. For me personally, I hated my boobs pre-cancer anyway, as my kids had sucked them down to barely A's. I never would have gone through with a boob job on my own though. So my husband and I joke that cancer was a small blessing in disguise - as I got the boob job I never wanted. That said - after radiation did it's work on my left implant, my reconstructed boobs are by no means what I would have gotten had I gone about it the normal way. And don't get me started on the loss of my nipples and the resulting scars in their place. All that said, however - I wouldn't change a thing. I am young and have a lifetime of bathing suits and tank tops ahead of me. So I am glad that I made the choice I did. In clothes - I feel normal and can forget sometimes that those aren't my real boobs. Out of clothes - well, my feelings about my breasts are a mixed bag depending on the day and my mood. I am fortunate in that my husband has been beyond supportive and expresses great satisfaction with the results. Most days I don't pay attention and don't look too hard in the mirror and so I am fine with things. On those days where I do look too hard and get upset - I try to remind myself that breasts don't make the woman. Breast cancer steals so much of our femininity - our breasts, nipples, hair... But we can't let it win. So I give myself a pep talk on those days and try to pick my chin up and go out in the world as a warrior survivor, rather than a woman with a lopsided mildly mangled chest. Once my skin is fully healed from radiation and enough time has passed, I plan on using my blank canvas for art and get tattoos - which I've never done before. I feel like that will be my way of taking back control of my chest and making it mine - instead of leaving it as what cancer made it. You'll find your way bit by bit. But always remember - you kicked cancers ass. That is no small feat. So hold your chin up high my dear. And come here when you are in the dumps and we'll give you the hugs you need!
Ladies - I too did the making strides walk on sunday surrounded by all my friends and family. Unfortunately - we didn't get to do the whole thing because we had lots of kids with us and we got off to a late start. So those of you with kids know how that goes. But - now that we know the lay of the land, we will plan differently so I can do the whole thing next year. But it was a great day and I wouldn't have changed it for anything. What an amazing feeling to be around so many other survivors and see the many years listed on those stickers. I wore my shirt, sticker and medal the whole rest of the day - with pride! And I'm proud to report that my team raised over $3800!!!
Ok - now I should stop procrastinating and get to work. Love you all. In pockets where needed!0 -
You have all been so busy on here, traveling and on walks, etc ! I have alot of catching up to do! You've all sent great emails to the mods.I emailed the mods too, ofcourse explaining why I had to write incognito and explained that since I couldn't share my diagnosis and treatment with my family and friends, BC org and having all of you as my internet bffs played a huge part in getting me though everything. Liefie you hit the nail on the head- oh and a belated Happy Thanksgiving by the way!
Juneau- so happy for you to have gotten the house! Getting into those peaceful surroundings should compensate for alot of the aggravation you've had to go through to get the house.
Chrisrenee so glad nip day is here! I hope those new headlights provide the much needed light at the end of your BC tunnel.
Swgee said a lil prayer for your sister. Hoping it all turns out ok and that they were just being overly cautious due to family history.
Aruba so nice you got home and can catch up there. I'm doing ok just busy with things on the homefront and trying to keep up with my dad. What did the Dr say about the foot?
Believe so glad you got the "free to go"! What the heck did those surgeons leave behind, anything you can use like sponges or utensils or just those stinking breast artifacts that keep everyone there working? I disagree with you on the virtual calendars as I know I gain weight just reading about the baked goods you make.
I am in all pockets where needed!0 -
I am driving up the highway from Rochester to Minneapolis/St Paul airport. I have had a wonderful week in Wisconsin and managed to see dutchiris for tea on Sunday. I am hoping to have lunch with another BCO friend I saw in Vegas tomorrow before I fly home to Vancouver to host a potluck for our Vancouver/lower mainland/Vancouver Island BCO buddies. I am tired but feeling good about the fact that I was able to make this trip.0 -
Aramance I am so glad you found your way to our little group but so sorry to hear that you are feeling so down on yourself right now. Like Believe said I am sure your family is very glad you are around ,after all ,this whole breast cancer thing is a shock to their systems as well. A week after surgery probably isn't enough time to judge how your breasts will eventually look and feel . If you haven't been yet, go to the thread about exchanges where they talk about the "drop and fluff" period and how the implants can change in where they sit, hardness etc over the next couple of months. They really do seem to improve as time goes on. After my initial exchange though I was SO down and disappointed. I was displeased with everything about them; the size and shape of my implants (which gave birth to my screen name), the divots right above my breasts and of course the numerous scars. I thought that after all that my old breasts had put me through, that I would atleast like my new breasts. About two months later when I went back to the ps I told her that I had given them a couple months but still hated them. She talked me through the reasons I hated them then she arranged another surgery; bigger implants and fat transfers to the divots above my chest. She said the scars would greatly improve over the next year and if they didn't she would "revise" the scars. The insurance paid for the 2nd go round just as they did the first and I have to say I liked them alot more. SO if they don't change there are possibilities out there with either revisions, different kinds of implants or you can even look into diep surgery as others on this thread have done. I am about a year out now and my scars are so light now. I was also told that if scars stay too wide that if you choose to get any tattooing of nipples etc, that they can even intersperse some color into the scar to break it up and kind of make it disappear. After a year I have to say I have reached my new normal and I have accepted that they look fine in clothes and bras. Your breasts may have been a small part of the package your husband married, but they sure weren't "the package". Your new breast's will eventually become his new breasts too, when you let them, and he may even love and respect you more for each little battle scar and what all you have been through. I know right now it is all so overwhelming but I have to laugh now when i think back to reading one of my 1st posts on BC Org by a girl who shared many of your concerns. She said she finally decided to approached her husband about her new breasts and that he was really surprised that she would be so worried about looks and how her new breasts would affect their relationship. He said that as far as he was concerned, he just needed something to hang onto in the dark and that her new implants fit the bill great. She said that after that she realized that it wasn't the looks that mattered to him as much as just having something there that their relationship returned to normal. As far as emotions go, like the rest of us you will definitely have your ups and downs but I'm sure most on here would agree that things get better over time. Hang in there.
Marian it all sounds wonderful. So glad you got to have such a nice trip. I'll bet you are tired though after all of that!0 -
Just out from my MO visit. All ok. She checked that my vit D was up to 62 in june when primary dr checked so now reducing me to 4000iu down from 8000. I think my bp now always high but she nor RO, BS ever seem concerned. Asked for and got flu shot. See her next in june but RO and BS next in dec.
2fried thanks for asking about foot. Had that checked yesterday with xrays. It is soft tissue damage and will just take time. Got the ok to exercise and ice after. So all good!
Congrats juneau and Believe, Ramols!!
Welcome Aranance! A great bunch here that gets it. I had lumpectomy and rads. Was just told today by MO that my breast that had rads will probably shrink over time and its delayed as i finished last oct. Seems we all have to adjust to changes both mental and physical. Dont be hard on yourself, you have been through a lot!
Hugs to you all!0 -
Hi girlfriends!! Thank you so much for being in my sister Libby's pockets yesterday. Her scans were negative (YAAAAY), so she can relax and enjoy her 50th birthday on Saturday. (Aruba, Libby is in Findlay. You're in the Cleveland area? We're going to celebrate Thanksgiving in Findlay, i can't wait! I just wish Thanksgiving break was a little longer!)
Believe, congrats on your mammo results! i hear you about the stress! I will have my full diagnostic in Dec. Oh, and since i turned 50 last Nov., i need to get a colonoscopy. I wanted to push it off until next year, but since we met our deductables ages ago it makes sense to have it done before the new year. Oh Boy! (Sarcastic voice...)
Ramols, congrats on doing the walk and your team raising so much money, wow! Well done!
Juneau, if i haven't congratulated you yet on your house, congratulations!!I'm so happy it all worked out.
Aramance, welcome! You'll connect here with so many people who know what you're going through. I couldn't imagine going through this without the support and friendship of my BCO sisters. We're glad you've found us!
I'm trying to recover from bronchitis right now. My PCP started me on Zithromax yesterday, so hopefully it will kick in and i can go back to work tomorrow. I love working with the 4K, K, and first graders, but their personal hygiene skills leave a lot to be desired!!
Hope everyone is in good health and spirits. Love and hugs to all!0 -
Swgee - great news about Libby. I remember when my biopsy was done, the radiologist said, don't look so worried. 90% of these tests come back negative. I guess we are all the 10%ers.
Have a wonderful day, ladies. I'm especially grateful because today, after months of waiting, I get my dental implant. I will once again have a full mouth of teeth. I've missed my bottom tooth, glad it was way in back...0 -
Swgee so glad all is well with your sister. I shouldn't tell you this as it may encourage you to post-pone that colonoscopy (like I did) lol. My MO gave me heck last year because I hadn't had one yet and I was 59.He told me that he has more ladies on chemo for colon cancer than he does for breast cancer! That scared the heck out of me so I was trying to fit mine in last year after I had met my deductible- as it turns out when I talked to the insurance company about some of my other claims, they said that they cover a colonoscopy with no deductible or co-insurance at all as long as the doctor puts that it is preventative and not diagnostic! SO if you would rather wait until January or something, double check that with your insurance. As soon as I heard that I scratched it off my list last year as I felt so surgeried out. ( I did reschedule this year but had to cancel; But after what the MO said, that is definitely one of those must-get- round-to-its.) The good news is though that since I just turned 60, my shingles shot is covered - I did schedule that for tomorrow since Believe got hers with no problem-lol
Believe glad you'll once again have a full mouth of teeth- every little tooth helps ! (especially when you like to eat like I do-lol)0 -
Hello Ladies,
It has been awhile but I tried to catch up today on everyone as much as I could.
Congrats to those who finished Heception!
Believe - I am truly sorry for your loss
Juneau - saw your pic on FB but wanted to say again how proud I am of you! your post and stories about the pay it forward and others that I were reading today brought some tears to my eyes
Christy - Oh BTW I think it is illegal for your director to treat you that way:) Glad she apologized but next time make sure to document that shit:) I forget the date of your surgery but I bet you are going to be glad to have that over with if not already
Shoot I am missing to respond to so many of you! I see a lot of you on Facebook and communicate that way but I miss the rest of you and think of you often.
I am doing ok some days better than others. Some normal after BC SE (or atleast we hope they are normal) bloating and LE has come on like a mad women lately so that kind of bites! I ran/walk a half marathon last weekend in Des Moines, Iowa with my group who I meant during the Coast to Coast for cancer. We were naughty all weekend before the race, drank some, stayed out to late etc so we just took our sweet time getting to that finish line.
I hope all of you are doing ok
I miss you all!
Hugs! Michelle0 -
Swegee, So glad to hear about LIbby! Yes, I am in the Cleveland area. I too will have a diagnostic in Dec...i think on Dec 31~ and I join you and 2fried in the need to schedule a colonoscopy ...maybe we could all schedule the same day and have a loo party together the night before! In the meantime, hope you feel better..have some hot tea with honey and lemon!
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Believe...is that you? Show off those pearly whites!
MCook, congrats on yet another marathon...you so amaze me no matter the pace! Off to Toledo tomorrow and Mt. Pleasant, MI this weekend....will check in as I can!
We have a freeze warning tonite..I am defintely not in FL anymore..0 -
Swgee, so happy your sister didnt join the club! Hopr you feel better soon.
Chrisrenee, happy you are on the final leg of your recon.
Juneau, so happy the house craziness is winding down with a great outcome.
Aramance, welcome to the group!
Been busy getting ready for a halloween party this weekend, should be fun. Had our first snowfallyesterday, thank goodness it all melted.
Hugs to all.
-Aimee
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Aimee - I have always thought your screen name was latigger, but just saw it tonight (with my new glasses) as iatigger. I am sorry that I just realized this tonight and have been calling you the wrong thing for so long!!!!!!!! Have fun with the Halloween party!
Swgee - I am glad your sister got good news!
On the colonoscopy issue my MO insisted I get one even though I am only 43 because of the BC and I was going to put it off as long as I could until a women in town that I know went in for her routine screening and they found a cancerous tumor that she had to have removed. That made me go in this past May for mine. I was all clear and don't have to have another one for 5 years now. It really was not bad at all. It is the prep the day before that is the worst part.
I signed the papers for my surgery today so, baring anything at my pre-op with my PCP Monday, my surgery is all set for 11/5. They say I will only need to be out of work for 2 days, but that seems aggressive to me. We will have to wait and see. I hope they are right as I have to use vacation time since I used up all my sick time with the last surgery in July.
My happy for today was getting out of work early for my DDs soccer game. Both girls played real hard and my one DD got her first goal ever and I was there to see it!!!!! They even won the game (this was only their second win this season)! My other DD got a goal last year, but due to chemo I was not at the game and that made this one today so special. My patents, whom I am having issues with, were even at the game today to see the girls play. A good way to end the day! Thanks for letting me brag about my DDs.
Hugs to everyone!0 -
Momof3, Congrats on seeing that goal...So funny that I will be running all over this weekend to watch my DD as a college coach instead of the player..time does fly!
Is this the DD that had the medical test recently? In any case glad that you were there to see that goal!
You are having knee surgery on 11/5 correct? This is repair work? 2 days does seem fast!
iatigger, are you dressing up for the party?0 -
Aruba - Yes the DD that got the goal is the one with Epilepsy. It is also her 13th birthday today. My other DD (who turned 11 on Oct 1) is also on the team. Yes it is knee surgery to repair a torn muniscus and to clean up anything else they find while in there. Good luck to your DD's team this weekend! I will be hoping for good weather for you.0 -
Momof3, no big deal, with all the typos people have on here I didnt even notice, lol.
Aruba, yes it is a costume party, that is half the fun of going to all the work on having the party. We deck out the garage with blacklights and a bunch of decorations I have accumulated over the years. This year I am going as a minion from Despicable Me.
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we expect to see pictures after the party iatigger. It sounds like a fun time. Enjoy.0
