2013 Survivors!!!
Comments
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…and the panel gives websister perfect 10's all the way around for her balance beam analogy!
juneau, your schedule and dedication to it are inspiring. Keep it up!
embok, I highly doubt that you are disorganized. I homeschool our son at home and have not gone back to my part-time work yet and the only thing that helps me is I still rely on simple meals of just meat, veggies, and rice. The crockpot too. You'd think I'd be in a good position for more elaborate cooking, but no... I roasted a couple of chickens and a 3.5 beef roast over the weekend because that will probably get us through most of this week. Those hardly require anything except throwing them in the oven. (I pack lunches for my husband and we don't tend to "do" processed meats and sandwiches.) I sometimes roast a lot of veggies at the same time so they're ready to go. Frozen veggies and berries are purchased nearly everytime we go to the store. I just pull out a bag of veggies and steam, roast, or stirfry them for a meal (except breakfast.) Of course, you need to have some freezer space for this… We also have fresh veggies around but keep those easy to prep too. Luckily my husband is sort of a "food is just fuel" eater and will eat the same thing over and over without complaint as long as it fits his dietary needs. I'm a little fussier, also have dietary restrictions, but don't have much energy for anything much fancier on a regular basis yet. Can you do grocery shopping over the web? That can be really worth it when you're crunched for time.0 -
Good Morning ladies,
So had a good time at the concert and Adam was looking a hot as expected! Yummy! Ha! Ratio of women to men there was 20:1 so I guess I am not alone in my fantasy.
Then I left my gf who had to head home and took a trip to galena IL for the night. It was nice.
Then I come home to my DH telling me he is unhappy and wants to move out. I knew that this was coming and it has been a mesirable last few weeks. I thought I would be ok with this but a part of me wants to hang on the comfort of having him here. I am a wreck today. I don't like to give up on things even when I know I should. I know that I am not the sexy women he meant two years ago and We do not have any intimancy anymore. I am anger and I take it out on him. I am a complete mess of emotions right now. In my mind I feel who will want a women with BC, fboobs, and an emotional wreck. I am going to be alone and I know this but dam it, it was the worse timing for my healing. I don't blame him for falling out of love with me because I don't love myself most days. I try and live what I preach but I have my days. I want to hang on so tight right now and this is the worst feeling. Fuck life is never easy is it.0 -
Mcook; you knew he wasn't "the one". God is making you available so you'll be ready when he comes along. Mourn the loss of this relationship. He came into your life when he did and he has brought you through a tough time. I was reminded recently that people come (and leave) your life as they do for a reason. We don't always see it at the time; but later we understand what we were supposed to learn/give or receive from that interaction. So take the gifts and cherish them and let him go. You will be blessed with a new relationship when you are READY to receive it. I LOVE YOU MICHELLE! You are a shining star. and your pain/dysfunction and physical limitations/changes make you who you are today. You are not the same woman he loved two years ago. You are stronger, wiser, and more emotionally connected to the world and the man who sees THAT is the man kind of man who is a keeper. You don't "fall OUT of love" if you were truly "IN" love in the first place. That's what I believe anyway.
I loved before my DH. And thought I was IN love. But four years ago when I met my DH...well he has taught me... Lets just say I fall more deeply IN LOVE with him every day, every moment. I never felt that before. Love just was, now it's a living, breathing entity. That's what you deserve to have too. (((BIG HUGS)))0 -
Mccook, Juneau said it very well but from reading your posts over these past months I also see a strong woman. You say that it has been coming and though you did know, it does not make it any easier to face the reality. But it may be that you soon find more strength from within that will actually make you happier. Spring is on its way even where you live and this may be a good time for you to find new growth you did not expect. Meanwhile you have every right to mourn this loss.
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Michelle: Juneau put it wonderfully. And you are one sexy, beautiful woman. So sorry you have to go through this shit. (((hugs)))
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Marian, will be thinking of you tomorrow. Good for you that you are first on the list, then you don't lie there waiting, imagining all kinds of things. For me surgery was easier than chemo, because it is something with a beginning and a definite end, whereas with chemo you know that just as you are feeling at your best, you will be getting the next infusion, and feel rotten all over again. The worst part is the drain(s) afterwards, but as we so often say to each other here, this too shall pass. Hugs to you!
Mcook, so sorry to hear about the DH trouble. Sometimes it is hard to let go of something because it's what we know, and we are apprehensive of the unknown and a new beginning. As other people said here, you have proved to us that you are one tough cookie. You have come so far, and this relationship seems to have run its course. You will probably be way better off on your own, will be able to regroup and organize your life the way you want it. Somewhere along the road another man will come along who will appreciate the qualities of the new Mcook. You are like a beautiful, exotic butterfly struggling to get out of the constraints of its cocoon, getting ready to finally spread its wings and fly. You are so much more than your bc, your foobs, and your (temporary!)emotional turmoil! Hugs to you too!
Websister, the balance beam analogy is excellent. We are all in different stages of 'beam' training, so to speak, and learning to live with the new reality of our lives. Hope you have dug out from under the snow by now?
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Mcook - I too am so sorry! The end of any relationship is sad and there will be a lot more emotional days. But more important there will be more days where you will stand up and say if I can get through this f-ing cancer shit I can get through anything! And one day your true love will come into your life and you will celebrate it! But always know we are here for you! Sending you love and hugs!
Karen0 -
Mcook so sorry u have more upset to deal with. Cant help but think u have had a lucky escape but his timing sucks. Dont beat urself up...he does'nt deserve u . Take a good look at urself, u r a stunning independant lady with a wicked sense of humor and much admired and loved by all of us. The problem is his.
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Websister- Absolutely beautiful...the analogy and the new avatar.
Scottiee- So sad to hear your cousin is going to go through this crap. My heart goes out to her.
mcook- I can't say it better than Juneau did. My heart goes out to you also. It is hard to let go because change is hard, but know better things are ahead because you are a strong beautiful woman. No one can take that away from you. There may be days that you don't feel strong, but with everything you've been through you know you are. Sometimes it's just easier to take it one day at a time.
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Allurbad, that's about all I manage these days too. And I'm also at home all day. It just seems like so much effort to think of a meal, prepare it, cook it, eat it then clean it up.
Mcook, I can't really add anymore than what everyone has said. {{HUGS}} you are well loved here, appreciated and always enjoyed!! Perhaps if you knew it was coming, you fell out of love also? Maybe your stress, anger and pain will be alleviated now. I think it's normal to want to hang on to what is comfortable even if we know its no good for us, the mess of emotions you're feeling is strictly out of fear of the unknown, again this is normal.
As for who is going to want a woman with breast cancer, fake boobs and an emotional wreck? A real man, a man who sees a beautiful, vibrant, caring, loving, strong warrior!!! A man who, himself is vibrant, caring, loving strong and willing to carry you when the road gets rough. Your emotions will not always be in turmoil, slowly, day by day you'll feel better, stronger, happier. BC and foobs do not define you, they just are something that helped create the person you are today. They are a stepping stone.
Breathe, mcook, in and out. Look in a mirror and see what we see. Beauty, inside and out. Strength. Confidence. Wit. Who wouldn't want that???
God bless ya honey and sending warm gentle hugs xo0 -
MCook - ditto all the affirming messages others have sent. Remember the words from "The Help" - where Aibleen told little Mae Mobely, "You is kind. You is smart. You is important." In the same vein, you are strong. You are beautiful. You deserve someone who is worthy of you.
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Mcook - ditto of all of these messages. So sorry you have to deal with this now! I lived through a divorce I didn't want or expect and I'm my case I met the most wonderful human being on earth. My DH. I'm certain another one is out there for you too. I wasn't even looking, I just kept working and he appeared. Keep your eyes open, you may even know him already.
You deserve only the very best!!!!!0 -
mcook- I am so sorry you and your husband. He might have been strong during your treatment and that is fine, but he should be strong enough to help you emotionally, mentally, and physically. So now you be strong enough for yourself. You are a beautiful, strong and sexy woman. Don't let him take that from you. There will be men who will love you for you. Besides, you made a comment that men don't like fake boobs, I'm calling bullshit on that. All these women who don't have BC getting implants, because they want to be bigger. Those are fake tits, we have our surgically enhanced new breasts, yes they may be fake but they are now our real ones. I think we all need to throw Juneaus bat in the river or a wood chipper. chin up sweetie, we all love you!
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In your pockets for tomorrow Marian.
Shianne: loving the hair.
Websister - you look wonderful and your analogy is so true.
(((Michelle)))
Sorry I have missed so many of you - hello all.
Had my first mammo today since dx.... thought I was OK about it - and I was until after. Then had a bit of an emotional wobble. I kept thinking how the tech looked at me, what did she say that was different to when I was dx'd - why did she take the 3rd image - Oh! fuck. I am sure I am OK - I mean I was at my GP's last week and she gave me a thorough examination so surely she would've found 'something'.
For all of us:
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Mcook I am so sorry .... You are a wonderful, kind and giving person and you need to remember that ... Do not let this overtake you. Don't worry about who or what is out there ... When you are ready there will be someone just waiting. Please take care of yourself.
Joanne0 -
mcook- here's your (ours) fantasy man. The tats does it for me.
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McCook,
Juneau said it better than I possibly could. I too feel your pain. I have been with my husband 28 years and truly don't know why. Having a really bad day yesterday and was crying to the point of sobbing. Walked up to him, leaned against him and put my arms around him and he kept his in his pockets. I wish he would leave because I just can't right now but the handwriting is really on the wall. Despite all that it is still the loss of dreams and hope for what was or could have been. We are truly strong or we wouldn't be able to sit down to the computer and write what we do and still get up and go on. Like Juneau said there is a message here we just don't get to know it when we want to.
Love and hugs, Sheryl
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Thanks Tazzy, liefie and this wonderful gang! I just finished cleaning the main floor having done the top on the weekend. I just felt like I need to come home to a clean house. Got the call about an hour ago confirming that that I am first on the slate; 0600 arrival at admitting. Am so glad to finally be having the second surgery as it seems September was a long time ago.
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isn't this the truth.
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McCook....I was saddened to hear about your marriage. I tend to agree with what Renenee had to say and Jo is right.....there is someone out there that will appreciate the
strong beautiful woman that you are.
Websister....love your new avatar....you're gorgeous.
Marian.....again, with you tomorrow.
Tazzy...sending good vibes for that mammo you had.
Thanks everyone for the kind thoughts regarding my cousin....sad that another woman has to begin "a new life" this one hits hard as she is my first cousin and a wonderful woman who took care of my aunt for 3 1/2 years while she went through her own cancer
experience. She herself went through a horrible first marriage to a man who took her for everything. She is now married to a sweetheart who I know will be there to support her all the way.
Everyone else ....sorry I'm still only 80% recovered so still working on my energy level,
Hi to all though...❤0 -
Scottie- i'm standing in the corner waiting for my flogging as I send this to you. After my day, I am sitting back drinking an ice cold beer maybe I can dance on the table tops with Tazzy and Mcook. With everything Mcook is going through i'm going to drink for her and with her tonight. Let's see how much of that I can keep down.
I hate that you are still under the weather, are you going to have to go back to your PCP for any further treatment???0 -
Chrisrenee.....I did go back to work today as I had cabin fever ...one student said "awesome, no more supply teachers"....just made my day and I forgot about the 20%....lol
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Glad you went back. it's always nicer to get out of the house for a while. I felt like crap saturday, i woke up at 9 am and i was back in bed at 1230 and slept until 5pm. I t was great and I didn't care that I hadn't cleaned my house or done laundry, kids are old enough to fix themselves lunch, but i did cook dinner. lol
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Thanks to everyone re: kind words for new avatar and analogy
Chrisrenee - like the 'bench-pressing a Buick' pic - very appropriate
Marian - glad you,will be,coming home to a clean house, sounds like you are all ready- hope you will have a relaxed evening tonight. Wear big pockets
Tazzy - OK to wobble, I'm with the others in sending the good vibes re: mammogram
Scottie - hope to hear you are all better soon. Sorry to hear about your cousin, glad she will have good support
Embok - be easy on yourself, I don't think you could have gone through this while working if you weren't an organized person, for me it is fine not the organizational abilities but having the energy to use them. It's OK to ask for help
McCook - as Juneau has pointed out in the past, her and I often say or think very similar, I agree with what everything she said and with everyone else who has added their input. The timing sucks big time tho. Adding my hugs ((()))
Take care,everyone0 -
Chris- this must be an old photo. I think Adam has even more tats now. Mcook would know since she just saw him. My sons are probably his age! No tats.
Marian- in your pockets tomorrow!
Tazzy - only god results from you mammo today. We are on a collective good roll! I go in on the 21st. Anxious already, I understand your apprehension.
Scottie - glad you are feeling better! I've been spending time with the Beast. Getting ready for Fridays weigh in - unless Tazzy wants to give us another pass.
Juneau - you may be right. I have a consultation tomorrow for a eye lift. Maybe that will change my perspective. It needs an adjustment, I'm starting at the top. Not usually this vain but you got me thinking...0 -
Chrisrenee...meant to say that I love your new avatar...you still look like a kid...hello, I'm 65, you are a kid.....lol....no floggings just now ladies because just too much going on....
I think we are all in need of some "comfort food and libations"...or for spring to hurry up and get here!!!!0 -
Scottie- thank you. It was taken last year at my sisters bachelorrette party. That is my beautiful mom beside me. Love that woman to pieces.
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Hello
So Tazzy - (((hugs))) wish we could take that fear away!
So with that said I will be fine with every path my DH and I take. He has been my support this past year and I think we just moved from lovers to care takers and it might be time for him to move on. I don't want to go on and on about it, but I feel so blessed I have all of you here:) you all rock! Man I am humbled by your support and love and right back at all you!
I am heading to bed - my running today must have knocked me out and the emotional stress:)
Sweet dreams ladies!0 -
marianeliza,
Wishing you a successful, uneventful surgery.
hugs, Sheryl
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Believe; my consult for my eyelid lift is tomorrow also! :-) lets compare notes!!
Scottie; was hoping you would be out sick another day. I are an entire plate of fried cornbeef and cabbage rolls. They were like egg rolls kind of. Four of them. My friend are one and said her acid reflux was bothering her. I had no off switch and polished them all down! THERE... I have confessed!!! I don't feel better about it yet; but they were BANGING GOOD! And the restaurant has Coleman's mustard so I just HAD TO!! Luckily I had ordered a grilled shrimp and spinach/avacado salad as my main.
Marian; make extra room for my fat ass in your hospital robe pockets!
Tazzy; hoping for good news soon. The waiting is insufferable.0
