2013 Survivors!!!
Comments
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I asked for one but the surgeon (general) said it wasn't necessary. Who knows?
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Susan, I didn't ask for one, but it wasn't offered either.
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Something missing--what did you ask/not ask for?
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We were talking about having a mastectomy. You would need to read the last few replies
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Last night I wrote down some goals for a five-year plan. I need to start thinking about the future and planning ahead.
Has anybody found other strategies for refocusing on the future? I need to get past these persistent thoughts that a breast cancer metastasis will show up in the next few years. I had a clean PET/CT scan before starting rads, so these thoughts really are irrational.
Who else is experiencing this, and what do you do about it?0 -
Oh, I see the train of thought now Schatzi. I was thinking about women who got cancet long ago. My grandfather's sister died of melanoma. She ignored a mole on her neck for years. I have wondered if she was avoiding going to the doc because of fear, shame, ignorance or maybe a lack of money.
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You had "female problems" ... and no one got too specific. One of my great grandmothers died of some unspecified female problem.
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Growing up in small town Ontario in the early 70s, two of my friend's moms each had a mastectomy and years later died of old age. I'm sure there were a few others, just not mentioned.
Today, it's f*^%+g everywhere. A 17 year old dishwasher at our restaurant had a mammo, US and biopsy last Wednesday. Her parents are taking her to a breast surgeon in Toronto tomorrow. She said the path report is being rushed and results will be there when she gets there. She's having surgery tomorrow as well. Scared for her. She has been complaining about this sore lump for over a month and her doctor acted as it was getting bigger.
Keeping my fingers crossed for her.0 -
Stride..I'll answer that question...first, let me say I'm 65 and was dx last yr at 64 just at the same time I was thinking about retiring from teaching and perhaps do a little traveling. I chose not to retire , one I love my job but more importantly it keeps me busy
and my mind away from the same things you have been thinking, so, now, in terms ofmy goals, my number one at the moment is to get past these thoughts and start enjoying
my life. I think if I can accomplish that goal, everything else might, a big might, fall into place....lol. Does any of that make sense ?????0 -
My theory on the "epidemic" of cancer is 2fold. First there is more awareness and better diagnostic tools, there for medically we have advanced to know more and sooner. So yes years ago many simply died of unknown reasons or by the time it was caught it was too late. Secondly, I think a lot of health issues need to be blamed on the hormones that our livestock are being fed. Get the cattle fattened up, the pigs plump, the chickens producing eggs faster. I look at the young girls these days and they are shorter, heavier and almost all are large breasted. I don't remember such a quantity of girls like that when I was in high school. And the boys, well, they certainly didn't build them like that when I was 16!!!! Lol. I remember scrawny, pimply faced, awkward boys. Not the long, lean handsome young men of today.
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Scottie, keeping your job was probably a good idea. It offers some continuity for now. I am having trouble concentrating on work, and I hope that improves soon. That is turning out to be THE hardest thing about survivorship for me. I really need to put in the effort to advance in my career, and right now that does not feel important. But it is, and I need to.
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Shianne29, my thoughts exactly!!!
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I just wrote a whole page and it disappeared! Don't you hate that...
I will sum it up with - it is just like Dorothy said: "There is NO place like home!" So glad to be back home.
Scottie - I hope you are feeling better. So sorry about your relative. Is she close to me in Sacramento, CA? If so, I would be glad to help her through this. There don't seem to be many of us, on this site, from the West Coast.
LostinMo - so sorry we didn't connect in Quartzsite. Maybe we will get back before you leave. I would love to meet you in person. I'm sorry I didn't buy more - so I know I will be back.
Thank-you Tazzy for skipping the weigh in this week. I thought I was being good but my scale didn't agree. One recovery week will be appreciated.
I totally understand anyone who can't get into work! I was planning to retire on May 1st but I was diagnosed in April of last year. I kept working until August but after my surgery my heart was NOT in my work. I am so glad that I was able to retire when I did. Now I keep so busy, I don't know how I ever had time to work. Hat's off to you ladies that are still working.
Juneau - I think my little Angel is cuter than my picture so I will hold onto her for a little longer.
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Mind u all.. I am 31... Sucks.. Totally devastating to me bc I used to just assume I would become a little old lady.... Still hoping and thinking it will be but with this diagnosis ... life has chamged dramatically....when all my friends are gettjng married and having kids and I just finished chemo and and am having surgery jn a month and hormonal pills for eternity !!! It's crazy and I am terrified but I have met many others my age diagnosed as well...
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Shari, you could very well end up being a little old lady someday! It is hard to think that way now. But after treatment you will have plenty of time to think about what to do with the rest of your life!
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Shari - you will become a little old lady. It happens to all of us. I have met sooooo many women that have survived many years after a BC encounter. Think of it as a bump in the road. Sorry you had to deal with this at such a young age but just picture the little old lady that you will become! Make lots of plans and set lots of goals. You will be too busy to not be around.
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OK, Juneau - here's the new avatar for you; older and wiser now eh?
We are having quite the snowstorm here today, I am hoping that it will have blown itself out by the end of the day and all will be clear tomorrow for the early drive to rads.
Hugs to all
Take care
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Shari- don't sell yourself short! You will find a man that loves you for you. Regardless of the hormone pills, the incisions, there will come along a man that wants YOU! Have faith. Do NOT let this damn disease take anything else from you.
Websister- love the new avatar! You are so beautiful!
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Websister, so glad for you that you can go 'topless', and you look really good- so stylish too! Such a relief to ditch those wigs, hats and scarves.The best thing is to just feel normal again, not stand out in a crowd, and not be recognized as a cancer patient any more. Read your blog, and found it inspiring as always.
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Websister you look fab topless!! Its a relief to do away wit the wigs. Shianne lovin ur new look:) i totally agree wit ur summin up of bc and hormones. Shari u will be an old lady so dont go cancelling ur retirement plan!!!
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websister, I just had a Skype chat with friends in Calgary who had to shovel their driveway twice today. I biked to yoga in sunshine albeit a bit cold with running eyes of course but so good to not have rain. Good to see your "hair-do!"
Beleive, it is nice to get home isn't it? I have yet to order a bracelet but as I get closer to surgery and another step along the way I want to do it. I will call you once surgery recovery starts. I even have a US$ Visa card now!
Two more sleeps and I found out yesterday that I am first on the slate (tentative) on Tuesday so will have to be there (UBC) at 0600~~works for me!
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MarianElizabeth - yes, lots of snow and it was blowing so it is also stuck to all the windows! I will definitely be in your pockets on Tuesday - I enjoy your blog.
Scorchy - I was reading your blog and I remembered that I haven't responded to you re: post treatment. I'm not yet post treatment and I will continue with Herceptin for several more months so I don't feel quite such a sudden cut-off of care and support but still a little lost as to how to get on with life now.
I was thinking about it this weekend though and this is what I have come up with -
Receiving the diagnosis of BC was like believing we were on this wide flat surface all our lives and suddenly realizing that instead we were on a balance beam and we have fallen off and are now trying to get back on - with the surgery, treatment and help of others. When first starting to walk again, there is very much a realization of the beam, our muscles are all tensed up and the tendency is to want to look down but that doesn't help with keeping our balance. We're told that the best thing to do is to look ahead but that is easier said than done. Initialy, there are coaches and 'spotters' there to help get us back on the beam and guide and catch us, always vigilant. When active treatment is over it is like the coaches and 'spotters' have suddenly told us we are on our own and the beam suddenly seems twice as high and more like a tight-rope than a balance beam. We feel a need to go slowly and yet those around us may become impatient with us and want us to resume walking on it as quickly and agilely as we did when we naively thought it was the 'gym floor' we were walking on. Over time, with luck, we will look down less and look ahead more but we will always be aware that we are on a beam and there is the potential of falling. Each time we face another test, scan or appointment our muscles will tense and we may begin to hold our breath; navigating the beam seems to take more effort during these times and we may wobble a little wondering if this is the time we might lose our balance once again.0 -
Websister-beautiful picture! Do you know who Ann Jeffries is? An actress that was in Topper, I think. You remind me of how regal she was in that show.
Your post is very well said.0 -
Websister!!!! Very eloquent, vey real. I found myself nodding. Even tho I'm not done treatment yet either, I've had my surgery and I feel "abandoned" Friends and family expect me to walk the tight rope, and I've not yet mastered the balance beam. Good analogy!!!!!!
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Web sister; you are beautiful!!! And you metaphor of the balance beam/tightrope. Absolutely SPOT ON.
Marianeliza; I'm in there Tuesday... No matter how early.
Shari; this experience is life changing, but not ending. You will postpone the kids, house etc... But only whilst you kick the shit out of this cancer. Hang in there.
Sleepy time for me. Hope you all get some rest tonight with
Minimal SEs.0 -
Websister: great photo! Hope you are keeping warm up there.
Shianne: I think you are right that there is some environmental link to breast cancer, and suspect the use of hormones in food, or something else in processed food (maybe a combination?) is triggering more BC in younger women. I've read articles suggesting a connection to too many simple carbohydrates in the diet too, but am not knowledgeable enough to evaluate that claim.
Stride: I am with you on the emotional roller coaster of wanting/needing to focus on work, while having a hard time emotionally because of worrying about whether the cancer will come back (not that worrying will make a bit of difference) -- and feeling like all that takes all my energy. At least finding this board and all of you has helped me realize that I'm not defective because I'm not "back to normal" yet & I'm starting to feel a little less guilty about taking time to rest & allowing for healing time. I wish I had any wisdom to share re the work/life quandary, but I don't -- but wanted you to know you are not alone in feeling it.
Embok0 -
It was a beautiful spring day in So Cal, and i'd worked on filing all day yesterday, then went out to see my daughter's one act play, so was beat today. So I took it slow. Even though we are busy and I should have worked on a legal project today. Took the dog for a 45 minute walk around the neighborhood, which is full of apparently fascinating smells. He loved it, but I think it may have been a little much for me. Am 2 books by Julie Silver, MD, a BC survivor, about healing. She recommends a lot of rest (but not naps), good food (lots of fruit, veggies and protein), gradually increasing exercise, daily stress relief including prayer/meditation, lots of supportive social contacts, and that's as far as I've got. A lot of her reco's are common sense, but I guess I wonder a bit who is able to work all that in, especially with the cooking and cleanup, if they are both recovering and working? I'm a decent but not fancy cook, but find it very hard to market, cook, and work at my firm and also work in exercise especially during the week. DH will buy groceries but is a hopelessly awful cook. Really, really bad, weird experimental cooking -- truly inedible. So am I missing something? Am I just disorganized? Does anyone else find it hard to get all those wonderful healthy habits checked off every day?
Embok0 -
Embok; I too struggle with time mgmt and self care...however I have made it a priority. I send nj DH to the store with a VERY specific list, including brands. I stop by the green grocer/fish monger I. The way gone to get those items myself. I try to cook quick easy things. Either stir fry in my wok with only a tablespoon of oil, or perhaps bake fish wrapped in foil (sort of steams it) in my oven. This way I can do other things while it cooks. I may use my crock pot too or clay pot. I steam brown rice in my steamer in the morning so it's ready already when I get home.
I exercise during lunch whenever possible. I find the break helps me go us better throughout the rest of the day. I journey before bed and try to squeeze in a prayer or two in the morning. I know from being in a 12 step program fur over six years that I have to make sure taking care of ME comes first; otherwise what's the point. I didn't fight this BITCH called cancer to live a hollow and unfulfilled life. I feel better mentally, spiritually and physically when I get everything in in a single day. Yes I drop into bed and fall right to sleep because I'm beat. Yes I WISH there were more hours in the day. But wishing won't make it so... So I continue to search for that balance. It gets a little better every month that passes. Progress not perfection. It's a journey not an event.
Gotta get dressed for work. Have a great day!0 -
websister,
I love your analogy of the balance beam and life with breast cancer. Extremely eloquent and well put. Thank you,,
Sheryl
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Thanks everyone... U are all amazing and brought a smile to my face when I so needed it!
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