new and future flat sister, with questions
Comments
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M, glad she emailed you.. it makes a big difference to hear something personally lol.
I'm supposed to make you spitting mad by informing you that her mother is over and informs her she is having a lung biopsy (not for cancer, she has pulminary issues... then has the audacity to start crying. She also asked DLLP to get her something to eat. I told her to throw her mother out, which i doubt she will do.. but seriously the sidewalk is the best place for her.
She is also embarrassed because I informed her that we were keeping close tabs on her peeing habits
Firanch, you are giving me a headache lol!! Love the picture tho.
PRB, as I am supposed to be working, so that is why I am not addressing your post... it deserves more attention than I have to give right now
I will catch up later, just wanted to relay the message.0 -
Oh my goodness, I have a lot to answer for with "Mother".
Poor Bobo, poor DLLP. How bizarre, taking your medical issues to someone who has just had both breasts removed, sorry old girl, Bobo has trumped you with the BMX!!!!! Please go home!
Bobo, we were just worried about you not peeing, don't be embarrassed, nothing is out of bounds here!
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I know, right? The brass ones. She brought up peeing so I had to tease her a bit0 -
I have Bobo home addy, she's 2 hours from me. Who wants me to hop in my car and escort "mom" to the nearest gator filled swamp?0 -
DO IT! Spookiesmom!0 -
PRB, it took me about a day after being told lumpectomy + rads to decide to do the MX. Radiation scared me more than a MX! Then another couple of days to decide that BMX was the best route for me to go. I did not want to have to go through this again. And to me, my personal feeling only, I couldn't imagine being a uni. I immediately decided no recon as I just didn't want any more surgeries of any kind. It was a pretty drastic approach but with my mom passing as a result of bc/chemo I knew that would be hanging over my head all my life if I just did the uni. I have not for one moment regretted my choice.
Tomorrow I will be 17 weeks out from surgery and am loving being flat. My scars are a pale flesh color now and smooth. Yes, my chest has some numbness, but like your dr said it isn't tingling it is more of a tightness. I can feel it when I massage my scars and I can feel my clothing moving across it. I was eager to see what the incisions looked like, but was bound in an ace bandage that was not to be taken off for the first 3 days. Then could only take it off to shower. I was not shocked or repelled by how they looked, I knew I had done what I had to do to have peace of mind. My incisions are only about 4-4.5" long on each side. (I guess they do some things differently here than they do in Australia where Ariom is. Every surgeon every where does things differently for that matter.)
Frankly I prefer to go flat. I have two sets of prostheses, a silicon set that I find too heavy and uncomfortable and a set of contacts that I have yet to wear. Waiting until I hit the 6 mo mark for those. They may feel better to me, I don't know. I go everywhere flat. Sometimes with a scarf but most times just with a vest over my shirt. It is bitter cold here right now so we all have on so many layers, I don't think anyone could tell who is flat or not! Even in the Fall I was out and about flat. Just had to get some high neckline tanks and T's. After the first couple of times of feeling a bit self conscious, I realized that no one really noticed. Now I would feel self conscious wear the foobs out. I do have a soft pair of homemade foobs that when the weather warms up I can pin into a soft bandini bra if I want some "bumps" under my tank tops in the summer.
I know it is hard to decide, no one can make this decision for you. We all approach things differently and have different reasons for why we do what we do. It is a very personal choice. My suggestion is try not to over think it anymore. Yeah, hard to do, but rather listen to your heart and soul and find what you can live with for the rest of your life.0 -
Spookie, I'll second the DO IT!!!!0 -
PRB, first off.. whatever you choose to do, you are always welcome to hang out with us.
Regarding lopsidedness.. yes at times I feel lopsided and to this day I still flip back and forth on whether to recon. However, it's a rare occurrence that I feel lopsided, in fact most of the time I am unaware of it. I do not have a prosthetic, so I can't comment on those. I keep putting off doing a fitting to get one.. not sure I really want it. I have a knitted foob that one of the kind women on this thread made for me and I also have the foobs that came with the surgical cami's that I received from the hospital. These have worked just fine for me.
As far as numbness.. again it is not something I really notice all that often. The first couple of months it felt strange, but now it doesn't feel like it's that numb, or rather I should say.. I'm not aware that the area is numb unless I touch it and even then it really doesn't seem that different.
My scarring is probably different from others here... my scarring isn't too bad and the reason for that is the radiation I received sealed the incision site.. weird huh? I was so afraid to look at it after surgery.. just as I was afraid to anticipate my bald head.. and you know what.. once it happened, it wasn't all that bad after all.
There may be a chance that no matter which route you do, you still might have to have radiation. So if your decision is hinging on that make sure you know if they will still want radiation with a mastectomy. Again, I've done that and it is not as scary as it sounds, to me its way more scary to have a recurrence and I am at a high risk.
No matter what you end up deciding, you will soon adjust to the new you even if it seems that is impossible. Either situation is scary and unfortunately for all of us, it is our new reality since this damn cancer has entered our lives.
Hope this helped a bit.. we're all here for you!0 -
Spookiesmom... wait for me!!!0 -
It has warmed up here today. It is up to 12°F (-11.1° C) and has been snowing all day. Yay, I love the snow! BUT by tomorrow I will have to start shoveling and not sure how that is going to be this year. Nothing to be done about it, I'll have to shovel, so I'll look at it as stretching exercise!
Hoping bobo is feeling up to popping in for an update soon. Missing her "voice".0 -
Woke up to a coating of snow this morning, but it quickly was washed away. I love the snow too! It will be interesting to see how the shoveling will go this year, but I look at it as exercise too... we'll just have to pace ourselves! I bet you have a lot to shovel.0 -
Interesting story...0 -
To say I have had the day from HE ELEVEN would be the understatement of the year. The events of this horrible day make me want to actually hop on the broom and take off to Bobo's, Bitch bonnet tucked behind my ears and ready to take on the Mother of Bobo, or any other unsuspecting bystander along the way. Bobogirl, I'm not in the inner circle of text, and emails so you best give me a wave to let me know you are doing well. I'm fretting and we all know I'm not a good fretter!
Peeing? a forbidden, too personal subject? Since when? I've told ya'll everything from peeing to pooping to passing gas, he11 if I ever have sex again ya'll will be the second to know. Yes Bobo we have followed every dribble, surely you didn't want to keep that personal?
Spookiesmom, I can be there in about 7 hours, 6 with a good tail wind, keep the motor running, I'll be the wing woman.
The OG is bellowing for something????? He's practicing for his days of being a patient, on this the day I'm completely out of patience. So I'm off to tend to his every whim...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Ya'll keep typing I'll keep reading... H U G S to everyone....Send me some SNOW please, this daaarn rain, with temps 2 degrees above freezing is killing me..0 -
Be careful what you wish for Granwe. You might get snow up to your butt! I'm still waiting for snow too. Freezing rain, sleet, ice is pretty on the trees but havoc on my driveway. The sun doesn't shine on the garage.
So I shoveled ice off about a 2' x 4' space so the baby and I wouldn't fall. She slipped yesterday. I'm happy to report only three slight zingers late in the afternoon and went to sleep early. No claw! Not sure if it was the shoveling or the Xanax but slept all night!
Not sure I want to be in the same car as a bitching blue bonnet, F! Femera taking, run out of patience Granwe. A road trip would be fun. And sounds like Bobo needs some reinforcements. I was hoping her mother might change her tune and be useful. Call me Pollyanna. We might need a crowbar to pry her out.
You've heard the saying that if it were three wise women instead of three wise men, the house would be clean, the dishes done, the kids entertained and dinner in the oven/freezer. That's what she needs.
Our cat, Snuffy, is a dark gray cat. She climbs on the door screen when she wants inside. She was already in the pillow palace with me. DH hears the door and opens it. Guess who? The black male kitten. It was dark and he couldn't tell if it was Snuffy or not. The boy calls him Firebob after Bob the Builder (tv). He's smart and affectionate. Wish I could find him a home.
Time to get crackin. Six more rads after today. I really like starting my day with this quiet time along with my cup of tea and ya'll. I should take advantage and walk. If I had a dog, I would have to. Speak of the devil, Firebob is at the door!
The baby is flipping the lights. Better go before she finds something worse to do:)0 -
Hi all, just about to go to bed. Checking to see if Bobo has been posting, nothing, makes me wonder if she's ok. This is a long time for her to be off line.
ldesim, very interesting story! You never know when the breakthrough will be.
I can't believe you are all talking about shoveling snow, I am sitting at 11pm in a sleeveless top!
Gramwe, so good to see you, and I am peeing my pants reading your rant!
Zills, I hope all is well in your part of the world. 6 more rads I bet you can't wait for that to be over. I love how the baby flips the lights to let you know she's awake...too cute!
I went to lunch and a movie with the girls form the Pink Ladies today. We saw "One Chance" the story of the winner of Britain's Got Talent who had wanted to be an Opera singer since he was a little boy, great movie, a real tear jerker!
I am off to bed, will check back in the morning, take care M x0 -
It may be too much for Bobo to sit at the computer right now. Also she doesn't want her mom reading over her shoulder. I'm sure she'll be in fine form once she catches up.0 -
Hello everyone, got a short email from Bobo, and she still is in pain, said she isnt up to posting,said her spelling might not be the best.. I dont think we would care one bit, was so glad to hear from her, as I told her please dont use any extra energy responding to me, I just wanted to let her know I was thinking of her and love her. Isn't it amazing how close we feel to each other, never having met face to face? We all "get it" what each one is going through. I just hope she can get rest, wonder how the children are doing?
Zills, be careful on the ice, I never used to think a bit about it, but now taking arimidex, which may lessen bone strength, I worry about heading out the door too quick and breaking a bone! Are you down to 6 rads left? Whoppee!
We had a great time at the Bunco party last nite, had a little too much wine maybe, but laughed and laughed, good for the soul!
We are still in the deep freeze and not expected to get out soon... geez! Ariom, just hearing your warm weather reports sounds good!
Hi Gramwe, good to hear from you, love your posts.. Idesim and spookiesmom too!0 -
ooooo a Granwe visitation.. it's like a visit from royalty isn't it? *curtseys* Love ya Granwe, you make me laugh my ass off every damn time!! I'm sorry you've had a bad day and I'm sorry you are in witness protection and cannot vent to us that often as I think it's therapeutic to you and so damn funny for us. I am with you on Thursday.. I hope you get to tie OG to the bed again and will be able to have some relaxation!
I'm being pulled to lunch.. be back later.0 -
This is totally off the subject. Can anyone recommend a shampoo that encourages volume? I had a Dove shampoo that I loved, but they quit making it. That's the 2nd time that's happened with Dove. I tried Aussie volume and Herbal Essence volume and neither work for me. I'm about ready to rinse my hair with cornstarch to see if that helps. I wear it really short, but with no volume it looks like a skull cap.0 -
Sorry Wren, I have thick hair and have never had the need, but I will never complain again about it, because when I wasnt sure if I needed chemo I know I would love to have it. A friend used Nioxin she said it did not have a pleasant odor but thought it helped. Hope you find something that helps. I also liked Dove complexion products and gone!! I hate that! Good luck0 -
Wren, Thicker Fuller Hair, Moisturizing Shampoo & conditioner.. drugstores & walmart carries it.. don't pay too much for it... Amazon sells it for $7.00.. it's a bit over $3.00 at Walmart.. you can get it online at Walmart too.
My hair is (was) thin and greasy and nothing seemed to give me volume.. I tried Pantene, herbal essenses.. but this did. I've also had luck with Head and shoulders 2 in 1.. either classic clean or moisturizing. They say you should switch up shampoos regularly.. I keep 3 brands around and rotate them throughout the week.0 -
Yep, will be doing some shoveling today. Have to get out to go to PO and mail an order and go to grocery store. It isn't as bad as it could be, at least this is light powdery snow. And it has warmed up too!! It is 28°F (-2.2°C) outside right now. I even have a window open! (My cat loves to sit by it and smell the air outside. He's an indoor kitty.)
ldesim, very interesting article. That is a real breakthrough!
gramwe (((hugs))) so sorry you are having such a bad day. True dat, it is a perfect time to descend on Mom of bobo though!
bobo, thinking of you. Hope your Mom gets out of your hair soon so you can really rest and heal! (((bobo)))
Yay Zills, so close to the end!! I'm so happy for you!
I had better get busy! I can see the next band of bad weather spilling over the mountains from Idaho. Want to get my errands done before the snow starts again.
Hugs!0 -
I've heard of Nioxin too, but never used it. You can try taking biotin , it's supposed to help thicken hair and nails.
Zils, a road trip would be so much fun, even with the bitch bonnet.. could you imagine if we all showed up at her door and threw the mother out?
Again, I wish I lived closer to you... my mother had to put her baby down last year.. he was a 6 yr old male black cat she got from a shelter, but he had health issues. I bet you anything I can give Bob the Builder a good home with my mom... she'll treat it like a child and feed it a million times a day. She says she doesn't want anymore, but she'd fall for it.
it's been snowing here all day, but here in downtown Boston it's not accumulating, we'll see when I get home if there is anything. Perfect is to see it coming down and to have a coating.
The baby can reach the lights?? How is Miss Poopy Pants feeling? She didn't hurt herself when she slipped did she? Good to know that we won't pay too much of a price for shoveling.
GrammaB, hope you are faring well shoveling out!
M, that sounded like a great movie... I used to watch Britain's Got Talent, but I don't recall him I don't think. I saw the Susan Boyle performance which ended up becoming well known here in the USA too thanks to You tube.. Loved her story and loved her singing. But I recall when she appeared on stage.. I though the same thing the judges did and was shocked to hear how beautiful her voice was.
Ndgirl I am jealous of your thick hair!! Although, maybe it's because its still really short, but my hair does seem thicker than it once was. I'm glad Bobogirl sent you a note, it won't be long now until she is back ranting and raving.
I agree about the closeness.. at least BC did give us something good in the end0 -
Hi all!
Beautiful day here..
I got a quick email too, she is worried bout the spelling. She goes to the PS today.
ndgirl, I would be paranoid about falling on the ice. I am such a natural Klutz! When I was a kid, my Dad used to say that he'd come to pick me up from school and 300 kids would run out. He said one would fall, and he knew it was always going to be me! I don't think I ever saw my actual knees during childhood, they were always covered with tape or yuck scabs!
ldesim, I love the "Royalty" it is a bit like that. I curtsey to our Gramwe too! I am thinking of the OG having that hand surgery. Best wishes to him, and you gramwe, don't let that F Femara turn you into Nurse Ratchet!
How was your lunch ldesim!
Wren! I am totally in love with a new shampoo brand that I discovered a few months ago, It is called Desert Essence and is organic, rich, and fantastic. I use the Coconut Shampoo and Conditioner which is just great for my hair. There is an Apple and Ginger Volumising one that I haven't tried because I hang out for the coconut smell every day. As you can see by my pic, I have short hair and although I have a lot of it, it is very fine. I always use product for the finish I want. I use a loreal Textureline Magnifyer when I blow dry, and I use a Jonathon Product, called "Dirt" for the volume and the spiky finish. Then I use a hairspray from Loreal. I know it sounds like a lot, but my hair isn't like concrete, it still moves,
I would definitely recommend the Desert Essence. The prices vary hugely, but I buy from iHerb or Vitacost and get it for about $3-$4 which is amazing for an organic product. The Jonathon, I usually get on Ebay, but if you just want to use a thickening shampoo, I would suggest you try DE. I have all my girlfriends using it now. We are used to paying "Big Time" for anything organic over here, so the price of this brand and the amazing quality make it worthwhile for us even with the delivery cost.
Must fly, I am taking our Dex to the Vet this morning. He just doesn't seem to be on his game, and a bit of a "sooky lala". His fur is weird, not just from my bad haircut, but very fine and different. I am sure it is from the drugs, so want to see if there is anything else we can use. Chat later...M x0 -
I got my Marika, but I could be F'd to try it on.
Hope everything goes well with Dex! Does he hate going to the vet? My younger cat, Simon, doesn't really mind at all... he's not crazy about the car ride, but is fine at the vet. Harley on the other hand hates it. His breathing gets rapid and his ears and nose turn bright pink.. we have to tip the carrier on the side so he'll slide out on the table and he stays in whatever heap he lands in during the entire exam... they can do anything they want to him and he just stays frozen.
I haven't texted our girl today.. don't want her to feel she has to respond if she isn't up to it, hoping she is ok.0 -
Idesim, That's so funny. A vet told me our dog was anemic because her gums were so white. I went home and told the family. Opened her mouth to show them and they were bright pink. I take cats from the shelter to the vet when they need care. It's always interesting to see how they'll behave. We have a cat up for adoption after eye surgery. The foster parent said the eye vet and staff are willing to write recommendations for him. He may need them. He has one eye, is 10years old, and FIV+. His name is Radish.
Ariom, Thanks for recommendation. I'll definitely try the apple/ginger volumizing. My hair is about the same length as yours and baby fine. When teased hair was popular, I could tease mine and use hairspray. Then I could shake my head and it would all fall out. Back to smooth and sleek.
I feel bad that Bobo is having such a rough time. Definitely not making me want recon.0 -
Hi again, back from the vet and $250.00 lighter!
Dex loves the Vet! He was here for dinner once when we first moved here. Remember, I think I told you about how I ran into him and his wife at the fish and chip shop, so I invited them to eat with us.
Poor Dex is suffering from the steroids that he needed for the allergy which he still has, and he is now Cushingoid from the cortisone (me too) So now he is having a round of anti cancer meds, and heavyweight antibiotics. I have to wean him of the cortisone over the next week, and then after he has finished all these drugs we will take another look at him. The Vet said he will have diarrhea and nausea, and won't be well for a few days. Poor little guy! He also told me to continue with the pro biotic food and organic chicken, so there's nothing else I can do for him. It wasn't me that ruined his fur! It was the Doggie Eczema!
Just received my Gel Nail kit in the mail, and one of the bottles was broken in the package. It is such a mess. I just sent pictures to the company to hopefully get a refund.
Still nothing from Bobo..........I wonder if her Mother has gone yet. M x0 -
I hope the Marika fits ldesim! That is, when you can be F, trying it on
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Thank you all for your replies about how it feels to live with a mastectomy. I knew you ladies would give me some great advice! It's encouraging to know that you aren't too affected by the numbness and that your brain isn't constantly saying "hey my chest is numb and this is weird" (I guess that's how I'd describe being numb from the dentist, right?). I think that is one of my biggest fears...not being able to shut my brain off.
I went to my first BC support group last night. As it turns out, a woman who I had worked with years ago was there. I remember when she was diagnosed, but I never knew the details. Anyhow, after the meeting, we talked for quite awhile. I told her of my indecision and she threw her arms out and said "I'm the poster child for bi-lateral mastectomy!" She was flat-chested and smiling from ear to ear. She's been cancer free for 13 years and was stage 3. That was pretty encouraging
As of now, I'm leaning towards a mastectomy, but tomorrow might be a different story. I told my sister tonight that if I go the 'easy' route of radiation and I get a recurrence, I'll blame myself. She said.. but the doctor's recommended the radiation..so you shouldn't blame yourself for taking their recommendation. I suppose that's one way to look at it...but my brain just doesn't work that way. I will forever blame me and only me.
Thanks again for all your kind replies. I plan on sticking around for awhile because this is such a lively forum!0 -
And here's another way to think of It,if you DONT do rads, and the beast came back, would you blame yourself? Rads don't always cause more cancer. I figured since this was the year from he$&, I may as well do it all.
Your choice alone, we will be here for you no matter what you decide.0
