new and future flat sister, with questions
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Hi Ladies,
Hands are much better today! My arthritis doesn't care what the weather, or climate. It comes and goes. I am starting to believe the Herceptin is affecting it! Seems to be getting worse with each infusion!
Wren- good news! I am always happy to hear of a foster placement! We have been foster failures! We have rescued Great Danes since 2001. Our last boy is living the high life in northern VA. He even sleeps with them and swims at the beach.
Had to go to the hospital for preop tests this morning and came home to find DH sick with whatever the head cold thing going around is. DD came down with it yesterday and is still miserable. Keeping my fingers crossed that I don't catch it. I still have a compromised immune system and it wouldn't be pretty!
Grrr.... both doctors changed my appointments to tomorrow-New Years Eve from the second of January. Now I get an infusion tomorrow, will probably feel yucky, and won't make it until midnight! All so they can have another day off! The other appointment is with my primary care physician for preop, aka cover breast surgeon's butt! It is bull and just a waste of time! Oh well, with everyone sick it probably won't be a festive new year anyway! I wonder if everyone will take blood? That will be three blood tests in 2 days! Go figure!
Speaking about New Year's....I never make resolutions. Making them just sets me up for failure! My focus right now is to remain calm, get ready for surgery, and relax. I am retiring on disability in January. I really don't want to, but they won't hold my job for me after the 29th and I know I can't go back two weeks after my MX. Hell the textbook must weigh 10 pounds! Besides, teenagers and pain meds are not a good combination for me..I'd probably fall asleep and wake up with a sharpie mustache! Lol. I plan on trying to go back in August. While we aren't starving, I really miss our dual income...especially with the youngest in college!
Well, my laundry awaits..I hope you all have a great day!
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Sgc, Glad your hands are better today! Well that $ucks about the appointment changes. So sorry DH and DD are sick. I really hope you can avoid it. So close to surgery, you sure don't want to be sick.
Oh, laundry! Geesh, I have a pile to get to also!!
Hugs to all!
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Hiya!
Just been catching up on all the goings on! Blimey you can't leave this place for 2 days can ya? Bobo you poor thing. Your MD sounds a nightmare. You need to be looking after yourself. When I had all my surgeries, I spent most of my time looking after everyone else. People just don't get it do they!
Sgc your arthritis sounds awful. Sending you a gentle hug.
I've still not been on that bloody treadmill. I spent the last 36 hours on the toilet! I thought it was the booze but I think it must have been a bug as one of my friends has been down with it too! I'll be getting on it tomorrow though that's for sure! I wanted to get started before 2014, haha!
Going to be staying at home for NYE but out to see friends on NYD. You all sound so busy with your families, I'm so glad that you have people around you.
I love that suck the fat out! I seriously need to get rid of mine and quick! Got an appointment at at LE clinic on 15th Jan and the lady tells me off regularly for being overweight! Eeeeek, Oh well I'll just have to take it on the chin.
I'm having a Novasure ablation in Feb too so they told me to lose as much weight as I can by then too! Grrrrrrrr.
Happy New Year to you all and thanks for letting me be part of this amazing place, you are all amazing!
Viv xxx
PS sorry about the song thing!!!! haha! xxx
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You guys.. not sure if Zils may have already posted this as I haven't read back.. I am so upset... Bobo was admitted to the hospital last night ... she has an infection and she might lose one of the implants.
This is horrible
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Idesim, OMG thanks for letting us know . Really worried and no help from her family, Can we do ANYTHING to help?
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I told DLLP to let us know if there is anything we can do.. it's bad enough going through this once, but having recon twice? I'm just sick to my stomach.
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Oh no, poor Bobo!
Sending very gentle hugs {{{{{}}}}}! Keeping in my prayers as well. Idesim, please keep us posted!
Viv- thanks for the gentle hugs. Sorry about the "tummy troubles".
GrammaB- thanks for the sympathywith family illnesses. DD and I don't live well together and it gets very bad when she is sick. Let's just say she has a major chip on her shoulder with a bad case of I know everything and everyone else is stupid! She will probably go back to her father's....for the 10th time because I am so awful! For some reason she thinks I owe her. Twenty and we pay all her expenses while she is in school. I think I have paid any debt!
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Oh F! I am so sorry, poor Bobo!
How much worse is this shit going to get for her? I feel so bloody helpless.
Please, anyone that can text, give her my love and hugs. M x
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OMG!! Poor bobo! What a nightmare! I felt something was really wrong when she didn't post anything. ldesim send her my love too. I'll be praying for her. I hope DM is gone by the time she gets out of hospital. ((((gentle hugs))))
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Oh no, yes this is a nightmare! and who ever said they were sick to their stomach about this, that is just EXACTLY how I feel, tears in my eyes as I type. So wish we could do something~ praying for her too is all I can do at this distance. I am afraid this might mean that MD will think she has to stay longer.... ugh. I wonder how her little kids are doing... oh this is tugging at my heart strings big time. Thanks for the update idesim. if you text give her my love. Maybe she should just forget these implants... oh shouldnt say that, not my call, she knows what is best.
Sgc... you shouldnt owe dd anything, sounds like tough love is in order and boy I know first hand that is not easy.. thinking of you and hope you feel better soon.
Vivtwins, hope you get better soon too, and happy new year to you, thanks for joining us, the more the merrier. We all need all the support we can get and you fit in great. Good luck on losing weight, that is hard to do anytime but this time of year is the worst.
{{hugs to our dear Bobo}}}
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I am here. Most pain in life. Infection went to blood. They made me sign a will.
Will know tomorrow morning whether they're going to do sx. If they do I'm looking at TWO YEARS for recon. I just can't spend that kind of time on it. But I will have to convince the PS (my doc is out of town) to take them both, and no dog ears, and clean close. He will be resistant. He says he feels terrible and PSs like to make it right.
So I was just getting cheered up by my headlights on 24/7, and now they will not happen. I don't think it is 50/50. Not responding to antibiotics really well. Threw up 50 times last night in the ER waiting room. Everytime I sat up I threw up ten times.
DLLP wants me to go to you for advice. Now I get to lose my "breasts" two times. With the princess' health limitations, and with all I have been through, and now, this, I don't know how much more I can take. DLLP took our children to my mother's, they will stay through the weekend. Our princess very concerned about me, wrote me four cards. One of them says Dear Mommy. I love you so much. I can't bear to leave you.
I will be away from her with all of these subsequent surgeries, and juggling, and getting to a million appts. I just don't think I can do it. But, again, I have very little time to convince my PS -- who is not my own -- to take them both, and do no dog ears. He's already super-excited about all the other ways you can make recon happen. I am very worried. I have never hurt so much -- the TEs, from throwing up. The drain site, from the infection. And extreme body aching from the fever. 103.8. Up and down. The up and down is not a good sign. Of course, they could arrive tomorrow and let me keep it, out of nowhere. But then, also, the infection could come back after this, in the middle of the semester. I am very scared of being a bad mother.
And yes, I teach Monday, and if I don't make it to class they will replace me. It is just a fact of the appointment. And I have to shift from the idea of having small boobs, and not such a shock to everyone, to having flatness. And what will I wear to school? Everything I was told about recon happened to have been wrong, in my case.
No food after midnight. They'll come in first thing. M I am so sorry about the skype. But you all have seen what I was dealing with with the MD. With this second emergency, it became very clear (again) who will come through and who will not. That was painful too. My brother.
Birdie, I am so very proud of you with Freckles. He is going to love his new life. I love you guys. Things don't look very good here. Big kisses to all of you. XXXXX
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omg didn't expect to hear from you. Just got in from a meet and greet I had to endure at a bank.. was not in the mood at all.. plus have had you on my mind since I got the text earlier from DLLP. Wanted to give them more info as I onIy came in quickly to tell them you were in the hospital.. I didn't report on the 50/50.
I am sick over this and not too sure what to advise you to do. I know the recon meant a lot to you for a variety of reasons, but with this infection situation on top of all the other problems you have had, I wonder if putting the recon on the back burner for now might be the best option? I don't understand the 2 years tho. I am at a loss of what to advise, I just want all these problems and pain to go away for you.. you have endured too much.
I'm gonna go grab a quick shower and deal with my brother who is in a crisis and be back shortly.. are you home alone?
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Bobo, this is just not fair! I hope they can resolve this quickly and get you out of pain.
Ndgirl, hope you are nowhere near the train wreck in Casselton.
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I got two texts while I was on the phone with my brother, I don't want to reply to them now because it is rather late and I am afraid of disturbing them
First was from DLLP saying she is having a little Japanese take out and watching girl with the dragon tattoo. Bobo is sad and trying to remain positive and DLLP says thanks to us for being so kind and caring.2nd is from Bobo saying she is on too many drugs to really think any of this through.
They were over an hour ago.. so again, I hesitate to respond.... sigh.
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((((bobo)))) I am so so sorry you have had such a hard time with this. I will be praying for you that you will be pain free soon. I would never presume to advise you either, but I do feel like ldesim does, that perhaps the recon should wait for a time. Get yourself healed and get your strength back then pursue it if that is what you want.
You are not a bad mother, you did not choose for all these complications to happen. None of them should have, but $hit happens, and I am so sorry it had to be to you. I wouldn't worry a whit about what people at work will think because you are flat. Put on a loose blouse and a scarf or poofy shirt and don't worry about them. Is there any way you can get a substitute for at least a few days? I'm worried it will too soon for you to be pushing yourself that hard.
Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
ldesim, yeah, probably a bit late, but thanks for passing on the info to us.
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Wanted to check in before I went to bed... well said GrammaB, I agree with all you said 100%. No matter what happens or what is decided, I just want all these problems to go away for her.. she's been dealing with this nonsense for so long, it's just not fair.
Good night everybody.. I hope we get better news from her tomorrow.
XO
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Bobo, I'm so dreadfully sorry to hear what you are going through .
I am going to stick my neck out here and say, that you have endured enough, and if this recon is going to fail, the "only" important thing here, is for you to be well again.
You gave it your very best shot, and you still got an infection that isn't responding well to the drugs. I remember your main reason for going to recon was to appear more "normal" for the Princess, and that is so admirable, you are a sensational Mother, but unless this can be resolved with medication and good management, is it worth the angst? Your baby girl is afraid for you and loves you unconditionally, boobs or not.
I can understand how it is so difficult for you to make a decision under these awful circumstances, but if you decide you want them both removed, then you tell this PS that there will be no further discussion on the matter and I'd make sure that DLLP is there to reiterate if need be. Give him your list of "absolute expectations". I'd possibly throw in, to quote RuPaul "And don't fuck it up!" but that's me.
We may be jumping too far ahead here, there is the possibility that all will right itself by morning and you may be back on track again.
I just can't believe how awful all this has been for you Bobo, you must be so exhausted. I wish there was something I could do, or say that would make it better.
All I can say is that we are all here for you, whatever you decide...hugs M x
Don't even think about the Skype, we can do it when you're better!
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Bobo, so sorry for everything you are dealing with. Like the others, what ever you decide to do, I am with you all the way. I do agree with Grammb also. good advice, who care if anyone likes your looks, your main concern is to be healthy again. I know that insurances are required to allow recon at any time after mx... even 10 years later I was told, I do understand you are going thru this twice and that sucks. Ariom said it well that only thing important here is your health. Dont even think you could ever be anything but a wonderful caring Mom, please dont ever think otherwise... we all know better.
Wren, thanks for asking about us in the train crash, no we are not close, but son is about 20 miles away in Fargo and they could see the black clouds.. this is a terrible thing to happen. Cant imagine how hard it is one the people that have to evacuate their homes, many are elderly and our temp this morning is -27!! the pollution to the air and ground will be terrible..maybe we do need pipelines to transport all this oil?? good and bad on both ways.
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Bobo,
I feel so desperately sorry for you and that this has happened. When I had my BMx I was given temporary implants so I didn't end up with a flat chest! My left one got infected within 10 days of having it done and I left the other one in, they couldn't save it! I spent about 4 months lop sided and then had my other one removed in May 2013. If I could give you one bit of advice, I wished I'd had both of mine removed at the time of the infection. I was just too poorly to make the decision and so I did what I thought was right at the time. I was on 1000mg of antibiotics intravenously and they made me so sick.
I am thinking of you sweetheart while you are in this horrible situation and I hope they make your decision easy and let you do what you need to do. Sending you big gentle hugs and hope that we get an update soon.
Lots of love, Viv xxxxx
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I am so sorry to hear about the train crash. Idesim, still in hospital. Antibiotics not working. Infected TE is giant, red, and streaky. What I'm scared about now (besides going septic) is 1) losing my job, and 2) that the PSs won't do what I say. When I bring up taking out both TEs, no dog ears, clean close, they say, 'let's not be too hasty.' And my new cute morning male nurse is on their side! He says let's not be hasty.
Can't take them both out and then make a later decision for recon because 1) I never really wanted it and 2) I know the dog ears would drive me crazy. It's just a lot to do switching in and out of different breast shapes, before class Monday. Working on getting hold of my boss. But I'm going to have to totally 'come out' to him about sx, infection, everything. A nightmare. Not private.
I am sick, but I think even if I was not sick I would feel I cannot handle the logistics of months and months of 'easy one-day' surgeries. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. I would have to be assuming that nothing would go wrong ever again. It does not seem likely.
I feel pretty terrible. Stuck in the hospital. I can't believe it. I don't know how I'm going to pull it together and re-enter the public so soon. So, number one problem: going septic and dying. number two: convincing the PSs to just forget about the whole thing. They just don't want to do it. They want to give me 'the joy of breasts.' And then there will be no great 'before and after picture' for their album. They don't seem to be listening to me. As I said I asked the PS to do all fill at the MX and he didn't. And now I'm going to ask for no dog ears and they are going to leave them anyway. They are going to say, Well, just in case you change your mind. I am feeling terror, not in control, don't know what to say to make them do it.
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Oh, and DLLP is trying to make me eat meat. Right now I can't eat anything, in case they come get me for sx. I've been waiting six hours to find out. She is a wreck. She's saying everything twice and driving me crazy. I will not eat a cow.
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Oh Bobo, I wish I could give you a big hug. I remember how scared I was when the infection was spreading down my back and the 12 year old doctor told me that it was fine......yeh right! In the worst case scenario and you end up with dog ears, can you have them removed later? I have one on my right hand side but it's not too bad and I will be having it removed soon. I know it's different for you because I'm presuming you have to pay for healthcare. In the UK we don't but the waiting lists are ridiculous!
What you have to think about is, what is going to make you better? Might there be a chance that they can save the implant? Don't worry about the plastic surgeons portfolio, gosh I can't believe they would even go there!
As far as going to work is concerned, I work in a boys school 13 -19 year olds and it's all about the boobs for them. I've been flat for a couple of weeks before xmas and I felt very comfortable. there are lots of clothes you can wear, I'm quite a fatty and it's been a real leap of faith to go flat but I don't regret it!
Please just do what you think is right for you lovely lady and not what suits others. Also as I say, whatever makes you better.
Keep talking.
Viv xxxxx
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So you never left hospital.. I was a bit confused for a bit there. This septic thing is concerning and as you know can be deadly.. I hope they are on top of that. For what reason is DLLP trying to get you to eat meat? Protein? Poor thing is probably just panicking this is hard on her too. I hesitate to text you because I don't want her feeling she has to respond with all she has on her plate now!!!!
Don't worry about dog ears.. that can always be fixed and it is not going to be noticeable to the outside world (I think?).. you never though you'd do recon in the first place and you changed your mind.. who knows you may very well decide to proceed with recon at a later time, it's not something you have to decide now and dog ears is such a small worry considering everything else!
I think you SHOULD tell work.. I really think you will feel a sense of relief if you do... I'm not sure why you are so worried about them knowing and I think it is stressing you out unnecessarily.
Stop worrying about the Princess... You KNOW that children are resilient, she just wants her mom to be healthy and smiling, just as we all do.
I feel helpless.. *hugs*
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Bobo if you are asked to sign a surgery consent form write on it what you want done. Get a copy! All done before you go under. As for being flat, it's really not noticeable. Once you get past the first time, it's ok. The Princess, you can tell her all about it as she grows up. Work. Yes, you must 'fess up. If they do try to fire you you can bring all sorts of misery on their punkin heads!
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Bobo, Wishing the best for you. The princess may regret the loss of your boobs, but she'll get over it. Being a good mother involves emotional connection with your children and being a positive force in their lives. Flaps can be fixed later, lots of women have them revised. Spookiesmom is right about the surgery consent. Are they balking at removing the TE from the other side? I just want you to be well and out of pain. This has just been gruesome for you.
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Waiting for the office to close.. they bigwigs all left hours ago.. think they could just close? noooo!!
Anybody else getting worried about Zils too??
Wish I knew what was happening with Bobo.
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Crap and shitballs!!!!!
It is 8am on New Years Day here. I was so hoping for good news this morning. I am creeping around as the house sleeps and I find nothing is any better for Bobo.
Bobo, if you are reading this, forget the Dog Ears. I have had mine for a year and it is going to be revised, not an issue. It could have already been done, but I decided to leave it alone and see just how much it may or may not bother me. I have decided to just have a portion of it removed. This is not an issue to focus on, it is so fixable, and not anything major to worry about.
Good advice from everyone, as usual. The only important thing here Bobo is your health. Everything else is secondary, and can be dealt with when you aren't so terribly sick. The fear has overtaken and you are in a hole, try to take it one step at a time.
Irrespective of what the Doctor and indeed you day nurse think, feel or say. This is totally your decision. It sounds to me that you have made up your mind that you want these things out. It is time for the Punk Ass Beatch to make her feelings known. You've got me worked up to the Shirley MacLaine Mother to Julia Roberts fever pitch right now. DO WHAT BOBO WANTS ASSSHOLES! This seems too have reached the point of no return, F Hasty!, who are these people? Why do they have the right of any input into this? I am not understanding how, or indeed why, the patient's wishes are being ignored. Can you not just calmly say the PS had their chance and they blew it, it's now time for the best job possible to put it right. Remember, these people are working FOR you!
I am so terribly frustrated for you, I can't imagine that things could be so different over there, to what we have here. Duty of Care is everything, and although we are not a hugely litigious place, the fear of that possibility, would definitely be front of mind of any Doctor especially with all the things you were told would be happening with this F recon that never transpired or simply went wrong. They want to give you "The Joy of Breasts?" They need to give you the right of refusal!
I could just go on and on, but in the grand scheme of things, your health is paramount. Whatever happens, you still have a fair road to go to regain your health again. It has to be baby steps, with rest and good nutrition. Everything else will fall into place, and please don't underestimate the Princess, she'll be happy when you're happy.
We will all be there whatever happens. You know you have a a flat and half flat group here, who are living it and will encourage you, if that's your outcome. We just want to see you healthy again.
I know you wanted to keep all this stuff to yourself, but that was never going to be easy, and where you are right now makes it damn near impossible, you have to let this fear go too. I am afraid that it is what it is and I can't imagine that it could be to your detriment to be truthful. As so many of us here have experienced absolute acceptance I find it difficult that it will be any different for you. Why would you simply be replaced if you were ill? I it really that tenuous a position. I have no concept of this.
DLLP is in panic mode, and understandably. Don't stress about her wanting you to eat meat, she's just wanting what is best for you.
I will check back later in the hope that there is better news....take care M x
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He11s fricking bells!!!! My power has been out for almost 7 hours! Some bozo got his New Year's celebration on early and mowed down a power pole!! Idiot! It just came back on and this is the first place I checked, hoping to hear some news of our bobo.
The more I think of the "joy of breasts" comment the angrier I get! What about the joy of being pain free, or the joy of good health???? These two are males, obviously, wanting to see boobies on all females if they had their way. It is your body bobo, you make the decisions as to what you want, don't let them steamroll you into something you don't want.
Still sending prayers your way. (((((gentle hugs)))))
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They finally closed the office at 4:00 PM (why bother) and had a nice dinner with my mother, brother, Joe and my uncle.
So updates from texts I received earlier:
From Bobo... they haven't figured out the infection and she is up next for an emergency sx.
From DLLP... The surgeon has informed them that she has to have the interior of her right side cleaned out and she would update after surgery.. which I haven't heard anything yet. Bobo is still worried about all the things she stated previously. DLLP said that Bobo asked for Ativan, but they are very slow in tending to her and she was going to go hunt somebody down.
I guess we still don't know if both will be remove or just the infected side.. I cannot even fathom that woman had surgery on the 9th and today being the 31st and she is still in hell.. how is this possible?
Watching the various New Year's shows.. what is everybody else doing?
M, how were you fireworks?
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Hi All ! Gramma B, Glad you finally have power !! I know we are all worried about Bobo and now Zills are you ok ? M hope you are enjoying company and Idesim hope you did not have to work too late . I don't make new years resolutions and doubt if I will see any improvement in the sweating and swearing in 2014 .............. However, I did come across this tidbit .....maybe it will help me when I have the compelling desire to choke someone !! .............
"We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box !"
I wish us all a happy healthy 2014 !!!!
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