Stage 2 Sisters Club
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runor you just did what you were meant to do. Write
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There is a dog thread, a cat thread and at least one furry friends thread.....all of which are fun.
Jay, this is what I think of the 'crap shot' phrase; it is and it isn't.......some people are going to have a recurrence no matter what they do or don't do, some aren't no matter what they do or don't do.......BUT then there is everyone else is the middle, who, in following the recommended treatments and making needed life style changes, really do have their lives saved. Since there is no way to tell which group any of us fall into, the smart thing is do what is recommended and expect the best (in my mind, if I do that, then whatever happens really, truly is out of my hands and I can let go of it).
Runor, if you think something is wrong (unless it is an emergency, of course), put it on your calendar for 2 weeks from the day you notice it and then do not let yourself think about it until then. If it still hurts or whatever on that date, then check with the doctor. (I was always poking my breasts looking for lumps, so put it on the calendar for the 1st of every month and ignore them until that one day). Yuck, I hate housework! I'd really be in trouble if I thought I needed to embrace it to be happy or find inner peace!!!! Forget the deep meaning for awhile, I think you need add some more FUN in your life! Dye your hair purple, buy some wildly age inappropriate clothes, take the dog for a long, long walk in the woods and notice how he/she enjoys sniffing everything, chasing twigs, relishing the moment, binge watch old Mary Tyler Moore shows (which I just did), take a friend to a very expensive restaurant and order rich desserts. Try adding some things that are fun to you and let the universal questions take care of themselves.
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runor, I just looked at your stats, and you aren't that far out. I couldn't even START to think about what happened until a full year after I was finished with treatment. I knew I was too emotionally fragile to make sense of any of it, so I allowed myself to go on autopilot and just live each day as it came. It was a full summer after I was done with 'active treatment' that I even tried to start processing what had happened. I did a lot of walking, walking, walking that summer, and it was long after that before I was able to put the experience into any kind of perspective. Be kind to yourself; give yourself time and space to heal both physically and emotionally.
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Runor, that was so well put - thank you .
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Runor, gosh that was really helpful for me. I keep thinking I should just quit my job and travel the world if I don't have that much time left. Then the practical me comes up with reasons why I shouldn't do that. I will say one of the best things we did was hire a housekeeper and ordered one of those meal delivery clubs where they send you the ingredients and recipes in a box to your doorstep. I no longer spend my weekends cleaning, grocery shopping and figuring out what is for dinner. I do plan to take a trip to a beach and just relax as soon as I have some nice boobs. Thanks for sharing.
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runor - I loved everything about your post. I hope you write more.
On another note, I found this paper encouraging - it's a retrospective analysis of outcomes for people with low Oncotype dx recurrence scores (RS) at MD Anderson Cancer Center. Previous prospective studies had shown that RS 1-10 had good prognosis. This paper shows that RS 11-18 has the same good prognosis (although the numbers of participants are low). It also highlights the importance of compliance with endocrine therapy, but I wish that they had included the total number of patients who were not compliant.
((Edited: I had originally written "you must write more" but changed it to "I hope you write more" - I don't want to pressure anyone into taking up an activity they are not interested in
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runor i could not agree any more with what you wrote, sums up alot of my thoughts on a daily. I have a moment i am doing good then my thoughts turn back to is this going to come back & if so will it spread to other parts & how long do i have. I think of all that has happened last year & all that cancer has taken away from me, from all of us. BC does not only leave physical scars it leaves mental scars too. I not only think of it coming back i think will i end up with LE too from all the nodes removed. I think when it comes down to it we really don't know if or when it may or may not come back. Of all my friends or co workers that have had BC not one of them has had it come back. Some of them are over 10 years with positive nodes & some have not even changed their old lifestyles such as watching what they eat or drink. I try not to look at all the statistics as no one can really predict the future or what it holds. I think when it comes down to it, i wont let cancer rob me of living my life, i will enjoy every moment i am given & give thanks for every day i wake up & before i head back to work in March i shall take a tropical vacation as i am due for one
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PVM I’m with you, I won’t let BC robs my life, will try my best to enjoy each days I have, I might not travel for the next few months since I have so many appointments to catch up, I know I will need to spend couple months with my LE PT then dentist appointment, more scans for my breasts.
Yes BC left mental scars on us, we live our regular life after all the treatments, and I will like to go back to my Travel again. Sure I will try to eat healthy and exercise, life has changed and I have to accept this change.
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Thank you runor! That was awesome. Really. You are our Erma Bombeck!
"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?" - Erma Bombeck
More of her fun quotes at: https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/erma_bombeck
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runor
Ditto!!!!!!!!!! I have had, and still have a lot of those thoughts. I agree with everything you said. I will admit however, the further out I am, it slowly gets better.0 -
ruthbru
Thanks for your response, and letting me know there's a pet forum. I kinda was being fecious. Lol. So, there is one just for cats? I cannot find it. I cannot believe how many forums there are to read. I wonder how many? I'm currently on the forum for middle age women 40's - 60's. Mostly about hormone therapy, or anything else. I also appreciate what you have to say. You have a way of being realistic, factual, and most important, positive. I look forward to reading this site everyday, well almost.0 -
thanks all for your posts, your humor, and this community, I'm 46, and I was diagnosed on 12/27 with Stage 2a (I think) (there's a tumor in my R breast and one in one lymph node as well). I'm ER+/PR+/HER2-. I'm still waiting on the results of the oncotype test, the genetic test, and the results of an MRI-guided biopsy of an "enhanced area" the MRI showed on my R breast. The L breast is apparently all fine. I saw a MO today and he recommended doing chemo before surgery, to try to be sure the cancer hasn't spread anywhere else, and to potentially limit the lymph node excision surgery. I think the breast surgeon i saw last week is fine doing chemo first. I liked these docs, but do want to get a second opinion for both the surgery and the MO. I live in the Washington DC area, so there are lot of options. I really appreciate the chance to read everyone's stories; it's a crappy time, and this website and these forums are a real source of solace.
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Ladies
I'm not sure where to start. I had my mammogram on my healthy breast today. Of course, it was the 3D. Before I was examined, I had to make sure my insurance would pay since it was last February. Apparently, some insurance companies require you wait exactly on the date as the year previous. In other words, I had to make sure I could do it before Feb 1st, since that's when I had it last year. So, they told me my insurance will pay, it has to do with the calendar year. So, I didn't have to wait exactly a full year. With a history of breast cancer for all of us, shouldn't insurance pay for a mammogram at least twice a year? I also asked the tech if I could have an ultrasound as well today. She said they solely go by the mammogram, and if all is ok, I won't need an ultrasound. This was my first mammogram since diagnosis last year. The tech had to take several pics, as my boob was being squeezed, and had to hold my breath. She commented, as we already knew how extremely dense my breast is. I'm so nervous about my results in a few days. I just don't trust mammograms alone. Has anyone just had a unilateral mascectomy, and gets a mammogram on the "healthy breast" every year? If so, are you ok with that choice? I see so many that have bilateral mastectomies, or have a prophylactic one later. My onco told me this past Friday he didn't think I needed the other breast taken off, however, it would be my ultimate decision. I've been thinking a great deal about it. I know surgery can have it's on complications, however it would be great never to have a mammogram again!!!!! Also, of course insurance plays a huge factor. This question goes to women who waited later to have the other breast removed. Are you glad you did it? Any complications? What about reconstruction? Also, I think if both breasts are removed, and reconstruction is part of that, the breasts would actually look better. Any thoughts, or advice would be appreciated. Thanks. What a pain in the ass this disease is!!!!0 -
dcbooklover
Welcome, and this is a great forum with so many knowledgeable, and great women. I can't answer any chemo questions, many on here can. I had Stage 2a breast cancer with a 1.3 cm tumor. I'm premenopausal, and had one lymph node positive. I thought I would have chemo until my onco recommended I have the onco dx test to see if I needed it. I had never heard of it. Of course, as you know, only ER, PR positive, and Her2 negative qualify for this. I had a unilateral mascectomy of my left breast, 13 lymph nodes taken out, and one positive. Then all was sent to pathology to determine my stage. My understanding is if you have 1-3 positive lymph nodes, and your onco score is lower than 18, then chemo might not be needed. Of course, everyone's cancer is different. I've always thought the only time chemo is done before surgery is if there is a large tumor to shrink it. Usually, scans are done to rule out it has not spread. I had a CT scan before decisions were made. I liked my onco from the start, so I didn't get a second opinion. I did for radiation, and had 28 treatments due to the positive lymph node. So, hormone therapy is my saving grace. I'm on tamoxifen, and will be doing hormone therapy for at least 10 years. Even if you have chemo, I feel certain you'll be doing hormone therapy. I know many women do get second opinions. Are you having any scans? I know you're overwhelmed since this is all new. When you get a game plan, all will fall into place. Are you premenopausal? I hope I'm not overwhelming you.0 -
Oh, my onco score was 14, so chemo was only going to benefit by 1-2%. So, onco said no to chemo
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Jaymed
I had 1 postive node, a 2.69 cm lump. I had chemo, no rad. My onco score was 11 with Chemo and Letrozole and 9 with just Letrozole. Yes Chemo raised my chances but because the lump was so big my Dr's felt it was critical that I have chemo, but due to only positive node rads were not needed.
I like you have read these boards and seen so many different treaments with same dx as mine so I get very confused. I know stage, size, age so many factors go into treatment decisions .
I had a mama on my healthy breast in Oct and like you a 3-d one. No I do not trust them at all after all first cancer was totally missed 2 mts before I found the lump.
We have to just be over cautious in checking our bodies and if we find anything weird we have to demand more testing .
Something I have noticed and really makes me mad is just how uneducated on breast cancer so many of he techs and nurses are that work in these Breast Centers. I do know while they can not talk to you about your test results they should beable to answer other questions concerning the test they are performing and just general questions .
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Forum: Your Furry Friends → Topic: Cats, cats, cats
Jay, 3D mammograms are wonderfully thorough and, in most cases, with a 3D mammogram there is no need for an ultra sound (unless something shows up after one). A couple times ago, I had a little dark spot and the technician showed me how she could look down layer by layer and could see that spot was where some blood vessels came together....nothing bad (which, before 3D, would have taken further procedures to find out). It was very cool, and I feel it is one of the few REAL advances since my diagnosis and very encouraging. I asked my oncologist about having mammograms more than once a year, and he said that amount of radiation, that often, could cause problems in itself. I schedule my general physical and my oncology appointment 6 months apart & have my mammogram in between so feel that I am well checked out throughout the year.
dcbooklover, if they would have offered it back then, I would have had chemo first. I had a lumpectomy & could have possibly had less tissue removed if the tumor (which was pretty large) would have shrunk down. I have an acquaintance who HAD to have chemo first because her tumor was so large and so close to the chest wall that they didn't dare touch it. The chemo worked so well that by the time she had surgery, they couldn't even find it! It doesn't work that way for everyone, of course, but for her it was a god-send.
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Hi ladies and Happy New Year! Dropped by to say hello and notice you are discussing the whole mammogram effectiveness topic. Perfect timing.
I had 3 'no change' mammograms since surgery and the completion of radiation (in September 2016). But my most recent mammogram before the holidays required more pictures as something new and suspicious was seen. Unfortunately, more pictures didn't uncover the suspicious area so an ultrasound was done. Again, the ultrasound didn't uncover the area in question either. Mind you this is all on the same mammogram visit.
My normal radiologist was on vacation that day and a young woman who looked no older than 20 came in to talk to me after I got dressed. She said that they took lots of pictures and only on one could she see an area of suspicion. She says she would normally let it go but because of my history, she couldn't and therefore called my breast surgeon while I was in the room.
My breast surgeon was of course in surgery but his PA immediately signed an order for an MRI. Now of course good ol' United Healthcare denied it twice because 'there was no evidence of malignancy'. Well of course dummies, that is what the MRI is for to get evidence.
In any event, finally got my MRI approved and done this week. The report indeed shows a new mass of about 1cm. I have a biopsy early next week to of course determine whether I should be worried or not. But at this point, I refuse to let cancer take anything more from me...peace of mind, time worrying instead of living, nothing.
No mammograms don't catch everything especially for women who have very dense breast like I do. But the radiologist who found my new lump says that as long as the technician arranges the breast at many different angles, that most suspicious areas would be uncovered.
For you praying gals, I ask for your prayers that this is not a recurrence.
Have a great weekend!
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Let us know how it goes, Opt. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.
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I did it! Had my last rads, rang the bell, hugged my techs, my nurse, cried my eyes out and walked out of the place I've been going every morning for 6 weeks. Had to laugh, the song playing during my last rads was "I Ain't Missing You at All"! I brought donuts for everyone too. It's been the worst year of my life and I'm ready to be done with active treatment. I seen MO in two weeks to discuss hormone therapy. I'm so exhausted.
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Opt4Life, your story scares me.
I had a mamm this Dec 1, expecting to hear the all clear. Instead I heard "area of architectural distortion persists and carcinoma cannot be ruled out".
No one did a biopsy, no one suggested a biopsy. Typical protocol here at the local hospital is that is something weird shows up on the mamm of a cancer patient, they do not re-book you for a biopsy, they do one right then and there. My radiation oncologist told me that the fact no biopsy happened is very telling.
A second opinion of that same mammogram and ultrasound by another radiologist said "typical postsurgical findings".
So one of those readings rang all sorts of alarm bells for me and the second said don't worry. But I am worried.
It was pain in the breast that alerted me to a problem and the problem was cancer. Now after lumpectomy and rads, I am never not in pain. That boob hurts all the time. I WANT to feel reassured by the 2nd mamm that says this is typical. But I'm just not.
I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation. I dread it.
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Thanks Ruth. Of course, will report findings.
Runor, I didn’t post to scare you or anyone. Doctors all have their own methods, gut feelings,etc....and never mind insurance companies who are always checking their bottom lines before approving procedures.
We all have to make decisions with the best information we have and our own guts.
If you still feel unsure though, talk to your doctor.
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Opt4Life
I very much see your point. As I said in my earlier post, would have liked to have an ultrasound, however, unless there is good reason to do it, my insurance would'nt pay for it. Don't you just love insurance companies?😬😬. Of course, we can't be without it. Sorry you had to battle with your insurance, but at least it was approved. What a pain in the ass insurance companies are. I had my mammogram Monday, and have not heard a thing!!! They told me I would get my results in the mail. I'm out of town, so when I go back maybe my I'll have it. I'm a bit nervous, but I would think if something was suspicious, I would have had a call. My breasts are extremely dense as well, so it is so hard to trust mammograms, even if they are all 3D. I'm glad you're getting a biopsy, and I know it can be nerve racking. But, as you know, it could be many different things not related to cancer.0 -
Oh yeah, Opt4Life
I was told exactly the same thing, that if my breast was arranged at many angles, it's easy to find anything suspicious.
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ruthbru
That's a smart decision to get your physicals, and onco visits 6 months apart, and getting that mammogram in. I want to try to do it that way. It would help my piece of mind. Oh, I see you're more than 10 years out. That's great????👍👍👍. As you know, your chances of it coming back is very slim. I hope and pray I'll hit my 5 year mark. One year out, four more to go. Ughhhhhh. By the way, if it's ok to ask, did you have reconstruction after mascectomy
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HoneyBeaw
Yes, we should always get our questions answered, and when the tech, or whoever can't answer, they need to find someone who can. I'm always full of questions, and persistent on getting answers. I'm curious, are you postmenopause?0 -
OCDAmy
Yayyyyyyyy, congratulations on finishing rads. I did the same thing, rang a bell, hugged all the techs, who I actually miss. It seems like you just started. Lord, how fast. How are you feeling? My big side effect was fatigue during the last two weeks, and appetite loss. I lost weight, then the appetite came back with a vengeance!!! Of course, I gained that weight back.😂😂😂😂. I'm surprised you were not put on hormone therapy before rads. My onco wanted me to start before. It's funny how oncologists all do things differently. Are you pre, or postmenopausal? I take tamoxifen due to being premenopausal. I think there is more options for hormone therapy when you're postmenopausal.0 -
ruthbru
Oops, 11 years, I keep forgetting we're in 2018
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Jay, yes, 11 years in February (knocking on wood as I type). I had a lumpectomy, so I can't weigh in on any mastectomy questions (or I could, but I wouldn't know what I was talking about
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Congrats Ruth, 11 years 🙏🙏🙏🙏 share with us what is your secret,
Opt, after reading your post I know we have to stay on top of thing. I don’t trust mammos also, it didn’t find my BC. I lost trust already.
Happy New year to everyone !
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