Maybe a dumb flat question?
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Thank you so much ariom and yes Zils is awesome! It's been really nice to be able to vent and ramble on here and have someone listening. Dr Zils should be proud, I slept until 9:30 this morning AND took an hour and a half nap. I would've kept on napping too if a client hadn't called and woke me up making last minute changes to her order. Lol. I think it was good though, would've ended up with that slept too long groggy feeling. Even though I have not had that feeling ever since starting chemo. I'm so sorry about your mets Zils, but from what you've said, the treatment is doing a good job and you are so incredibly positive. I've been really worried about my left leg for a while and have had more alarming (to me anyway) changes in it over the last few days. Any of the docs I have pointed out my concerns with have just shrugged them off though for months now. It is clear to me that SOMETHiNG is wrong there. Even if its not mets, it's something. I am going to be more aggressive at my next appointment because I am losing sleep over it at this point. I'm heading back in to do some work for everyone's favorite off-mall dept store., its back to school time! I have to make sure their all temps get paid correctly. I hope you are having a nice restful weekend.
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Delirium pie, you are a rock star!!! First off I have to say you look so pretty in your avatar picture.
I am gobsmacked by your chutzpah. You are doing amazingly well, to my eyes. I don't even know you yet and I feel so proud of you!
I am a friend of Zills and Ariom. I was thinking about your wardrobe challenges. It's a challenge, since weight fluctuations will shift with treatments, and then shift back. I know Ariom has lots of great outfit tips.
I will say I have three or four really pretty brand-new scarves I am not using -- I stockpiled a bunch before my last surgery, and I have all I need. Can I send them to you as a little treat? They are all natural fibres. A navy one, and a natural/buff one that is.. what do you call that.. ombre, and the same one but in warm raspberry, and a turquoise print one. You could coil them at the neckline, or tie them kerchief-style, or use them as wraps. The Eileen Fisher website has great scarf-tying tutorials. Please note I am not meaning these scarves as head-wraps -- I know you've got a plan for that -- but rather as fun additions to your wardrobe..
What do you think? PM me your address. I so want to help out! Very proud of you and your power-job!
(((((HUGS)))))
Bobogirl
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Thank you so much bobo. You are so sweet! Everyone has been so nice to me. That pic was taken shortly before my dx, before life changed forever. Didn't realize how much I missed my hair until I saw it recently. I don't know what I would so without work. As stressful and ridiculous as my job can be, it is my life. That's pretty sad, I know. I don't have kids or a husband. I've devoted my life to my job for 13 years, to the detriment of my marriage. In my last role I was dedicated to one client and my 1200 employees there on site. I would spend 100 hrs a week there, but never felt like I was at work. It was just life. Both sadly and thankfully, that chapter is over. I wouldn't feel near as guilty in my current position if I told everyone to go fly a kite, but the overachiever in me keeps me from doing that. When I woke up in recovery after surgery I could see the clock and the first thing I said was asking my mom to call the office and remind them to make an arrival call to a client where someone should have just started work. The nurse thought that was funny.
Not feeling too bad today. Still pain and tightness with the incisions. The bad spot looks worse and more oozy today. I just don't know how much ooze and yuck is normal ooze and yuck, lol. Still have a really hard spot underneath there too. At least I didn't have to get dressed today! My dog doesn't care what I wear. Although he's not a fan of a couple of my wigs.
It's beautiful outside here, I hope you ladies are enjoying your weekend. Thank you again for all the kind words.0 -
The women on these boards are wonderful. I'm very fond of Bobo and Ariom.
Have you gotten some sun or air on your incisions? Glad you followed doctors orders and took a nap and slept in.
You have a dog and grandparents and now other survivors. We are survivors. Not going down without a fight or hiding our heads in the sand.
Please be proactive about your leg. It's your leg, no one else has as much at stake as you. My knee and shoulder have hurt off and on since my surgery, both on my "bad" side. My shoulder has a touch of tendonitis and the exercises have helped. Will get more info about my knee at next appt. May just be the difference in my posture now. Be aware you don't hunch over, especially with all your desk work. Easy to do.
If you feel up to it, there's lots of bargains this weekend. I tried on too many things. I liked high necked dresses with a pattern. Got to get rid of that Buddha belly but after chemo. My hurling reflex is very sensitive so no crunches for me.
Take it easy tomorrow while you can. What kind of dog?0 -
Hi Zils. Glad you got some shopping in. I'm a big believer in its healing powers. Lol. I do need to get some higher neck dresses, never realized I was showing so much skin until the skin was replaced with my rather unattractive support bras.
My leg is freaking me out today even more. Strange pulsating sensations in my outet calf and now a weird cold feeling inside, right in the spot that has had a changed skin texture for months. My heel on that side has been in dull constant pain for a few days. I finally asked dr google about bone mets last night. One of the symptoms was being thirsty. I had declared all day yesterday, prior to seeing that, " I am sooo thirsty today". Hoping this is a paranoid coincidence.
My Reggie is a big 115 lb black lab. He's a very mellow lazy boy. But he looks intimidating to strangers who don't know him. He was in a foster home for two years with lots of other animals, so he doesn't get excited about much.
I left the incisions uncovered all day today and most of yesterday. The dark blood oozy stuff seemed to be crusting up and i fell asleep for about 15 minutes earlier and when I woke up there was yellowish liquid leaking out of the one bad spot. Yuck, I know, sorry. On the good side, I then noticed my skin looks green like a bruise wearing off, but I don't recall it looking bruised before. I think I would've noticed that. It's also hard again. I'm going to send a pic to my home health nurse tomorrow and see what she thinks. It's kind of starting to freak me out. I took a shower hoping some of the gunk would wash away then covered it and put antibiotic ointment. I think I'll sleep with it that way. Maybe to soak up the drainage. I don't know that I'm qualified to be my own doc, but they sure dont give us a lot of info.
Have a good night!0 -
No they don't give alot of info and it's more nerve racking over a long weekend. The details don't gross me out, so no worries. Not sure there is such a thing as TMI on these boards.
My dog was a black lab. You are so lucky to have him. Mine passed away two years ago around Thanksgiving. We haven't gotten another dog yet because we got the baby and now this mess.
I think it would be beneficial now with their unlimited support and companionship. May even make me walk more but I'm just not up to more responsibility and my DH is opposed. The kids and I will gang up on him when I'm better.
Hope you get some sun on your incisions. That should help. Stay cool and nap!0 -
No sun today. It's raining, but it is making me feel like a nap! You should gang up on your DH. I've never been without a dog in my life. I was ready for an additional one before my dx and then even after thought it might be good. My Reggie is not a lover, which I am not used to. But I became panic stricken during chemo that I would make him sick. He thinks nothing tastes as good as toilet water and while I was adamant about keeping the lid closed, others would forget sometimes. If I found a lid up or if I thought he was acting a little funny, I would stare at him all day and be just sick with worry. So I've decided I should wait on a companion for him to avoid more stress. I can barely hold my eyes open going to try to take advantage of it! Hugs
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I worry about the lid being up too! But I don't want the baby playing in it, no matter what!
I think you just have to flush twice the first couple of days. The sign at the infusion lab says to flush twice. I've heard chemo leaves your body in a couple of days.
Happy napping!0 -
I'm late to this discussion, but I want to come down to Texas and hug you, Sheila. You have warmed my heart. I had the same surgery as you in the same order of treatment...chemo, BMX's and rads. I also work and worked all through treatment, although I took 4 weeks off after surgery. I was told that I had to have PT for my arms, and I think it was necessary for getting to the point where I could get my arms over my head for rads. Did you get far enough in your rads simulation to see if your arms would go where they want them? It wasn't so bad after all, but you never know until you get in there. I too had the pressure on me to get into rads quickly.
Looking back now, I wish I had taken more time off of work. Physically, I made it, but emotionally I was and am still drained. I shoved a lot of stuff inside and kept it there in order to keep going.
I would highly recommend getting some radiation camisoles. I used the microbead foobs in them during radiation. They are better than the fluffy things that come with the camisoles. I could not get those to work whatsoever. You can get the microbeads from TLC. As the next step I bought the TLC fiber filled foobs. I then graduated to Amoena silicone foobs from Nordstrom. I did not have the concave problem that you mentioned so I can't help you with that, but I did have skin necrosis but thankfully on my prophylactic side so it didn't affect my rads schedule. There was some greenish type of stuff that came off of that, and it went on for 3 months! I had to use a prescription cream called Silvadene for months to treat it. The discharge ruined all of the camisoles. I finally started using nursing pads over the area! The skin itself looked black. I don't know if that's what you have or not because this happened to me almost immediately after surgery.
Another wardrobe suggestion I have are vests or cardigans in the new style that is open and somewhat ruffled down the front on both sides. Also, when I graduated into bras, I use a lot of camisole bras and just let the camisole show in the neckline if necessary.0 -
Hi Mary. Thank you so much. I didn't get any further in the simulation than laying on the table. I can put my arm behind my head and extend it completely in front of me. I just can't extend it all the way to the side or at any angle really. Hopefully getting it behind or above my head will suffice. I ordered a bra with the microbeasa from tlc that has them built into the bra. I thought that would be easiest, but unfortunately, the surgeon left an area of tissue around my port in the right and it makes me very lopsided. I need to order them separately in different sizes I guess. I'm not a fan of the fiberfill ones that came with the camis but I am making it work for now. I think I'm going to try to get in to the bs tomorrow. I'm not certain but I'm pretty sure green/gray skin is not a good thing. Thanks again Mary and everyone for being so kind and supportive. You guys are a ray if sunshine.
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What did the doctor say? Are you beat? Hope you can get some rest.
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Must be a virus. Have low grade fever and chills. School called. Boy not feeling well. Have called the nurse. Imagine chemo will be postponed. Enjoy the cupcakes and wine! Won't need them tomorrow.
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Good afternoon! I couldn't get into the doctor until today. I had a slight fever this morning. She aspirated 30ccs of fluid from the green side. Said the bad side looked ok buy to change te bandages more often and to try to shower twice a day. She never was clear on if I have an infection or not but said to take the antibiotics that they had called in for me yesterday (that they forgot to tell me they were doing) anyway. So I picked those up today and started them. There are two seperate ones. I also noticed last night that my right drain site opened back up and was bleeding. She didn't say much about that. I needed to buy more bandaging supplies so while i was at cvs I got the roll of stretchy bandage thingy that sticks to itself because the tape is killing my skin. Even paper tape takes my skin off. Then as I was pondering which bandages to get, looking at the prices since I will need at least 4 a day, $5 for 10 bandage pads. So I headed over to the feminine care aisle and got a package of 20 thin panty liners for $1.27. Theyre sterile, right? I am just exhausted now. Been wanting a nap for the last few hours but work won't leave me alone.
Did you have a nice long weekend?0 -
Weekend ok. I really miss daycare on that 3rd day. Have a stomach virus now. Yuck. Will delay chemo scheduled for tomorrow.
Aren't you the smart cookie? I have heard about using feminine products for stopping a bloody injury so why not? Do you have any way to get some sun on your incisions? Are you using an antibacterial soap like dial?
Glad you got into to see her. Sorry they aren't very forthcoming with their information. You should feel better tomorrow from the antibiotics but you may get more tired. Take good care of yourself. Try to come home early and nap if you can.0 -
Delirum, you have had your leg checked to rule out a blood clot, right? That was a side effect for me while on Taxol. I now take a little pill for that each night, and my leg is almost back to its normal size.
Wishing you well.
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Zils- so sorry about your stomach virus and delay. Yuck! Trying to get some sun and air right now. It's hard to fit into the schedule. I had not thought of antibacterial soap. Have been using isomers body wash with tea tree oil. It is what I normally use aside from bar soap. But I prefer body wash so it can just run over instead of having to touch it. I looked at body washes at cvs earlier. Should have thought of that. I hope you feel better soon.
Honeybair- I do have blood clots but not in my leg. I had full ultrasounds done at a super fun ER visit I had a few days after clots near my port were discovered. The swelling (if that's what it is) has been there since before my dx. I remember noticing back when it was still cold and I was wearing tights that it was freakishly larger than the other leg. Right after I started chemo this little bump popped out above my ankle. The nurse said it looked like a vein to her. But it doesn't to me. Then a couple weeks later I noticed that the area ( about te size of a quarter) has a different texture. Didn't think much of it since I have trouble skin. But then the texture grew larger to about half my calf. A few weeks after that it grew to cover half te side of my leg. It frightened me because it was the same mottled texture that I had had on my breast above my tumor. The MO said the texture felt the same as my other leg to her. But again, it doesn't to me. Now when I flex my foot, it's like I can feel something rolling over the bone in my leg and its really right. I really hope I'm just being paranoid but clearly something is wrong with it, whatever it is. Thanks for the suggestion though. How are you doing since surgery? I have not checked out the August thread lately. Will you be starting rads soon?0 -
I'm going for my "breast" fitting on Monday.
Weird! I never thought about choosing breasts - just dealt with what I had. I agree regarding the microfiber things. After my 2-year-old grandson visited and used them as "footballs," I could only find one. Split the fiber and stuffed with it, but it just got lumpier, so I'm happy to be getting something for going out and about. 0 -
Hi martie. That's funny. Hopefully the new girls will be fun for you. I can't wait now to heal enough to do that. I guess I will have to spring for one of the pricier custom fittings to deal with my lopsided issue. I was hoping to go on the cheap side since I will hopefully only need them for about a year and the fact that I new to lose quite a bit of weight before the DIEP procedure. But at this point it seems worth it. Too bad I can't sell some of the assortment of wigs I've accumulated! I guess the fiberboobies would make good footballs, now you can give him the other one. Lol. Good luck Monday!
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Surgeon made me push chemo out another week. Boo. Another week for my hair to grow for nothing. It's coming in pretty well. Wish I could be excited about it.
How you doing Zils? Do you still have the virus? Hope the kiddos aren't wearing you out.0 -
Isn't tea tree oil antibacterial? Don't be afraid to wash them. Hope you got some sun and air this weekend. Do you feel like a new woman? Those antibiotics should have kicked in.
Both boy and I still having stomach issues. Baby sick with congestion. Hates her antibiotic and is CRABBY! Poor thing. I don't have much patience after being home for most of the week with sick kids plus not myself. Usually the antibiotic makes them feel great the next day. It's a fight to get her to take it. DH says it tastes awful. Hopefully today will be better. Need to venture to the store. Maybe we'll all feel better after a trip out.
So sorry your chemo is delayed but you don't want to take it when you not 100%. Too many complications you don't want or need. I completely understand. I cried when they told me mine was delayed. I was both relieved and disappointed. We want this over with but I didn't feel strong enough to cope. Good thing since I'm still having stomach issues. No more cheezits for me!
You could probably donate your wigs but I don't see why you can't sell them. I have a friend that buys her foobs from eBay! You may not have the time or energy to fool with it. I have been on the receiving end of a lot of donations so I'm just going to pass them on.
How long is your hair? I just have peach fuzz. Is it still a side effect of your new chemo? I agree with you. Don't want to lose my head start. If I wear a hat in 90 degree weather, what will I do this winter? Understand the hormones will give me hot flashes so maybe won't need one! Already getting a few of those and don't like them. Daytime wouldn't be bad but I'm crabby if I don't get my sleep!
You have one more day of peace and quiet. Enjoy! Before the rat race starts again tomorrow.0 -
Yea tree oil may be antibacterial. In fact I think I saw some in the wound care aisle. I got this stuff on clearance on shopnbc during my first couple of treatments I had worse insomnia than I do now back then, and did a bit too much late night shopping lol.
I was joking about selling the wigs. I have donated a couple of items to my center that I never got around to using. Not sure how they would feel about used items. But I'm sure I can find someone to pass them onto when the time comes. My hair is about 3/4" and seems like 50/50 peach fuzz and recognizable hair. Halaven can cause moderate hair loss. So we'll see what that means. I had stopped taking my biotin the day I found out I needed more chemo but then started again because it seemed to help my nails so much. Both nails that had lifting have grown all the way out now. So I will probably stop taking it again soon. My theory, that may just be silly, is that if chemo kills fast growing cells, I don't want to use anything to make my hair or nails grow faster than normal during treatment.
Sorry about the hot flashes. I had one continuous 4 month hot flash. Lol. I slept with not even a sheet for covers and still was miserable. Luckily it mostly subsided about two weeks pfc, but I'm a furnace most of the time anyway. Never had to worry about a cold head.
I hope your whole household get feeling better so you can get some rest. I know the crabbies are hard to handle when most days it takes all we have to just keep ourselves together and functioning. Hugs!0 -
Going to be hot and humid today. Want to get the house clean and organized before I'm down for 10 days.
Kids are better but my stomach isn't happy late evening. Side effect of chemo. Going to try to get a Jin Shin appt for tomorrow to get it straightened out before Thursday. My cancer center offers it and I'm hooked.
Don't overdo it today. Stay cool!0 -
Oh I has such a crappy day at work! I knew from the time I woke up it wasn't going to be good. I felt terrible today. Funny how chemo never made me feel like I was going to actually vomit (only queasiness, which someone later told me IS nausea too) but I've had that feeling quite often the last few days. The place they drained fluid from is full and hard again and I was just spent by the time I could get dressed. I am accustomed to managing people that are older than I am most often career. But it seriously wears me out that one member of my team who is my mothers age behaves like a spoiled 12 year old. I can't even counsel her without her melting down either. Which wouldn't be such an issue either if, she wasn't my boss's sister. Of course she probably wouldn't have the nerve to behave the way she does if she wasn't. Today I just wasn't in the mood for her whining on top of her already being nonproductive. So our long and taxing day ended with her storming out the door in tears because I hurt HER feelings when she was in the wrong on so many levels. Tomorrow is sure to be a fun one!
Are you still on AC? Do you take emend for nausea? That was a wonder drug for me. You should tell the mo if what your taking doesn't work. There are so many drugs and I've heard that sometimes you have to be the squeaky wheel so it can be documented for the insiurance company to approve the "good" drugs. Are you eating in the evenings? When I was on AC I would feel nausea coming on at the same time I would realize I was hungry. Just some thoughts. Hope your having an easier night.0 -
I'm so sorry you had a rough day. Is any of your clothing rubbing or constructing that fluid spot? Are you going to get it drained again? Does massage help? I don't see how you are putting in full days. I really admire you. I'm sorry yesterday was tough. Hopefully she has a better attitude after sleeping on it.
I take emend right after chemo. But I'm nauseous for a good week or 10 days. Piggy back zofran and compazine. I've told them and we've tried some different meds. Then the acid rears its ugly head. Am on an acid reducer. Feel like I should take it twice a day so its better at night but they said no. I do notice it's worse about every few hours so I eat even though I'm not hungry. Hopefully this is my last one. I'm ready to be "normal".0 -
Haven't heard from you in a few days. Hope everything is ok. I thought your treatment was delayed but maybe not. Have a good weekend and catch up with yourself.
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This is not a dump question! I had a lumpectomy in 2001 on my left breast and it took me months just to get used to looking at that. I now have cancer in the other breast 12 years later and have been told to have a mastectomy this time - which I plan to do. My mother had a horrible mastectomy when I was young and those scars still bring tears to my eyes (she passed away from BC). I understand mastectomy is much improved since she had hers but it is still not easy to forget. I have spoken to one PS and researched this up the wazoo and have pretty much decided the whole implant/tissue expander thing is not for me. I do like how the flaps look but really don't like the second scar and continued surgery so for now this leaves me at a simple masectomy (still debating a double mastectomy as my other breast was 100% treated and remains cancer free 12 years later). To be honest I really feel like there are no good options and it really disappoints me that in 2013 women still have to deal with these limited options. I am encouraged to read these threads though and how most have come to a place of acceptance. From my readings on this stie - the no reconstruction ladies seem to be the most content with their choice (the flap and TE/implant ladies raise a lot of alarms for me). Thanks to all you awesome ladies for sharing! DeliriumPie I sincerly hope things get better - I am right behind you so plan to check back here.
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Hi Hipz,
My Mother also had a pretty brutal Radical Mx in '94, but went on to survive the cancer and pass from something unrelated 9 years later.
I didn't realise till my own Dx just how much my Mother's experience had meant to me, and imprinted on me. She had a wicked sense of humour about it, and was a sophisticated beautiful woman who didn't ever consider reconstruction.
I have to say, that my decision to have a UMX without reconstruction was the absolute, right decision for me. I have no regrets whatsoever, and at 9 months on, I have a collection of foobs, boobs, silicone prosthesis and even an adhesive one that attaches to my chest. I have many Mx bras, sports bras, camisoles tanks and shapewear. There is not much I can't wear these days, and even go half flat quite often. It is all just a matter of how I feel at the time.
As you say, things have come a long way since our Mothers paved the way with surgery.
I asked my Surgeon specifically, for a straight, fine scar because I knew I had no desire to go through a reconstruction, and a lot of my friends would want to see it! He told me the option would still be there if I changed my mind, but to be aware I would have a "mound", not a breast.
I remember asking him as I woke from the anaesthetic how it had gone. He said he had done a straight fine scar and had even checked it with a spirit level! In my addled state I said "Oh wow, really!" he laughed and said "No!"
The next morning my Surgeon was back. He took off the bandages, and said "You look great! go home!" So I did. It had been 16 hours since I was returned to my room after the surgery, and I felt great!
Although I had a couple of small issues with a small infection, a seroma, and a haematoma. I have never looked back. I didn't need any pain meds after the surgery, or in the recuperation time.
My scar is fading, and although I was disappointed that the section where I had the infection opened up and has a wider margin than the rest, it isn't a big deal. I massaged the area every day, and used Scar Fx silicone strips to flatten and lighten the scar.
It is a surgery of strange sensations, not pain per se, but these sensations lessen with time, and you get used to what I call "The New Normal".
Am I the same person that went into this, no way! but it isn't all bad. I have felt a shift, and don't stress like I used to. I never take anything for granted now and I have made lifelong friends here.
I wish you all the very best for your surgery, you'll make the right decision for you!
Let us know how you get on!
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Ariom - thank you so much for sharing your treatment info. My mother never let us see that the mastecomy scar bothered her but I was very young (8 or 9) so it really scared me. All I can do is think of her and her 3 sisters who are also BC/mastectomy survivors and think if they can do this so can I.
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Hjps, you're so welcome!
You'll do fine..let us know how you get on!
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Hi Zils. I'm here but gosh it was an exhausting week! I had more nausea last week than I had during my 4 months of chemo. I guess it is from the antibiotics. Chemo is delayed until this Wednesday. I did go this week for my rads sim and did final testing for the clinical trial. I don't know what it is about the rads office but every time I'm in there I get so depressed. The first time I starting crying in front if the dr, the second time in front if the nurse. Manged not to cry the last two times but I came close. It's weird. I've never cried at the MO or BS or even PS (and that place always makes me sad) even when they have me bleak news. I did cry at the first mammo/ultrasound when I was sure I had a cyst and the dr came in and said "yeeeah this looks like its going to be breast cancer". Maybe it has something to do with all the radiation waves floating around those offices. Lol. Anyhow. I start rads on the 24th, so I better get used to it. How are you and the kiddos doing? Everyone feeling better and letting you get some rest?
Hipz, thank you. Im sorry youve had a recurrence. If it helps at all with flat thoughts, I am in a much different place now than I was a month ago. Don't get me wrong, I'm still not thrilled and getting dressed is a hassle, but I am much more accepting. It's just the new normal, like ariom said. It's funny because I have been using that exact phrase over the last 6 months. It is amazing how quickly we can adapt when you don't have a choice. I too was suprised and disappointed by the lack of options and the complicity of the options there are. From a thousand feet away it all seems simple. Get rid of the old boobs, get new boobs, any way you want them. Women get new boobs everyday just for fun, right? Who knew what a complicated mess it really is.
Ariom, sounds like your mom was a great lady. I'm glad your doing well. You always sound so peaceful.
I think I'll go back to bed for a while. I got up really early then just when I was heading back because my eyes were closing, I discovered I needed to call shopnbc customer service because they processed an order I made three times! So I had to wait until customer service opened to call and argue with them. Moral of the story: insomnia, chemobrain, and home shopping are NOT a good combination. Have a great day ladies!0
