Time for hospice and Im really scared

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Comments

  • teacher911
    teacher911 Member Posts: 152
    edited August 2013

    Terri, thinking of you and Deuce. 

  • SPAMgirl
    SPAMgirl Member Posts: 137
    edited August 2013

    I was thinking about Deuce this morning. Have you seen him again?

  • Linda-n3
    Linda-n3 Member Posts: 1,713
    edited August 2013

    Sending positive vibes to Teri, the wandering goat, and all the wonderul loving women who are here to support you! May you find a moment of peace sometime today.



    Yesterday, I found a moment of true wonder as a huge hawk perched on top of my roof. This has never happened in my sight before. He/she sat there for about 10 minutes, then slowly and powerfully flew right toward where I was sitting, observing. The hawk flew across from the house into some wooded area. (As much as I like the wildlife here, I am hoping the hawk finds a few of those pesky bunnies that are eating all my garden. But I digress.) But the most amzaing thing was seeing the power in his flight. I can imagine each of us has that power in flight when we leave our bodies at some time in the future; we pearch here for a while in the present moment, then move with grace and power into the future.

  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 879
    edited August 2013

    Linda - great analogy. I too believe that we take flight with strength and determination when our time comes.

    Teri - sending you healing vibes and wishing you a day filled with smiles and sunshine.

  • SPAMgirl
    SPAMgirl Member Posts: 137
    edited August 2013

    Linda, I love that!

  • Capriness
    Capriness Member Posts: 111
    edited August 2013

    Man, this has become so OT... 

    I tell you, Deuce has decided I need him to stay with me or something.  But he doesn't understand I can't feed him anymore. My mother is moving in today to take care of me because I can't even feed myself anymore! Darn goat. I love him so much but I know he misses his herd too and doesn't understand he could go and be with them.

    My new plan is with my mom helping to actually throw the food out, my friends put a chair in Deuce's stall for me. So I'm just going to go up there and sit in the chair and try to coax him into eating from my hand while he stands outside the door, then eventually jumping into the stall with me, then eventually I can slam the stall door really quick. Wish me luck.

    On hospice, I have to wait until Monday to see what's happening. My insurance said my doctors have to send in a pre-auth and state the medical necessity of it.  That's because my insurance is actually a worker's comp claim (long story). So I'd say the medical necessity is that Hospice will be cheaper than hospital care, right?  That should get 'em.  I hope they hurry though.  I'm feeling really close to the end. I'm even falling asleep sometimes sitting at this computer when I stop typing to think of what to say.  That's pretty exhausted.

    Talk to you later,

    Teri

  • steelrose
    steelrose Member Posts: 318
    edited August 2013

    Teri,

    First I'll tell you that I'm sitting here sucking up a big old margarita as I type this. No kidding. In your honor! Deuce is a rebel, and I like that. I do hope he will come to his senses and take the bait. But if he doesn't, he's meant to be free. Letting go is the hardest part of this blasted disease, but acceptance is peace, I'm sure. I'm glad that your mom is helping you, and I hope that the hospice people are caring and wonderful. You deserve to be looked after and fussed over!!! And do not worry about your "kids," they are more resilient than we will ever be. Sending love to you, as always...



    Rose.

  • AmyJM
    AmyJM Member Posts: 134
    edited August 2013

    Terri,

    Just stopping in to tell you I'm thinking of you.  I'm glad your Mom will be there with you.  Good luck with Deuce - make sure not to overdo though - take care of yourself too.

    Sending love and hugs and prayers your way, Amy

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited August 2013

    Teri your plans for capturing the wayward Deuce sound perfect........here's hoping it all goes to plan.



    So pleased that your Mom is moving in with you as it was worrying thinking of you alone. I sure hope your insurance gets a wriggle on and gives you the AOK on your hospice.........medical need for it?......really?? Why would anyone assume that you would ask for hospice if it weren't medically necessary?.......honestly, what you girls go through with your insurance sometimes makes me shake my head in wonder.



    Sending love and gentle hugs as always. Chrissy

  • chris1959
    chris1959 Member Posts: 60
    edited August 2013

    capri ,

    i know like many people have said here you are not alone .we will be here for you.i will say my prayers for you .i also wanted to say i went to high school in colton ,and lived in estacada for awhile ,i now live in montana .but you are in my prayers and sending you hugs

                                                                                                                                          chris

  • teacher911
    teacher911 Member Posts: 152
    edited August 2013

    Glad to hear that your mom is with you.  I hope your plan for Deuce goes well because I know you are worried.  Hoping some of the worries go away for you.  It is so sad that you have to fight for hospice .  Thinking of you!

  • hollander
    hollander Member Posts: 93
    edited August 2013

    I hope you and your mom enjoy your time together-- you deserve some spoiling, and no one does it better than a mom!  I hope hospice details get worked out quickly so you can relax and let them take good care of you.  Sending wishes for peaceful sunny days, a reunion with crazy Deuce, and good time with your mom.  Keeping you in my prayers, and sending hugs!

  • meima-Bev
    meima-Bev Member Posts: 15
    edited August 2013

    Teri, I'm so glad your Mom is with you now.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.       Bev

  • 208sandy
    208sandy Member Posts: 582
    edited August 2013

    Good to hear you aren't alone anymore - hope that Deuce comes to his senses so that is one less worry for you - sending hugs...

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 5,316
    edited August 2013

    Teri,

    So glad to hear that your mom has come to help out. Love your plan for capturing Deuce. I'm a city girl and know nothing about goats but it did give me a chuckle to think that even at stage IV, we have to come up with plans for renegade goats and all the other semi-humorous things that still go on despite our condition. Thinking of you.

    Caryn

  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 879
    edited August 2013

    Teri - there is nothing like having Mom close by when you are unwell. Thank goodness your mom is able to be with you at this time. I hope that Deuce comes by to say hi.

    Thinking of you - sending ((hugs)) and smiles.

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited August 2013

    Teri hoping you are enjoying your mom's company and that wayward goat comes to visit.



    Love n hugs. Chrissy

  • chanah
    chanah Member Posts: 90
    edited August 2013

    Teri,  I am gld your mom will be with you.  We are all there with you in spirit as well.

  • brandall
    brandall Member Posts: 97
    edited August 2013

    Thinking of you Teri!  Many hugs your way!

  • dmacw
    dmacw Member Posts: 64
    edited August 2013

    Checking in on you

    Donna

  • tina2
    tina2 Member Posts: 758
    edited August 2013

    Thinking of you and sending good vibes cross-country straight to you, Teri.

    Tina

  • Trish03
    Trish03 Member Posts: 65
    edited August 2013

    Teri, it's wonderful to hear that your mom is with you. I hope that will help to give you peace.



    Hugs, Trish

  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 1,929
    edited August 2013

    Teri, wishing you peace, comfort, and a goat who comes home.

    I'm so glad your mother is with you now.

    Leah

  • Fitztwins
    Fitztwins Member Posts: 144
    edited August 2013

    Duece is making me smile. Silly guy. Tell him we said hello!

    Having your mom around is nice.

    One day at a time. 

  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 119
    edited August 2013

    Teri,

    I have to apologize because this is the first time that I have posted on this thread. I'm sorry that I haven't written something sooner. Lots of things pulling me in different directions but I still could have written a short post.



    Even though I haven't written I've been following this very closely. I have to say that I admire the way you have put together the plan for hospice and for your animals. As an animal lover myself, I know how hard it is to think about a plan and putting it into action. But as the others have said, those animals are going to be loved in their new homes. They will be very special to their new owners because they came from you.



    My sister made the same decision as you. At the time, seven years ago, I didn't understand. But I supported her with all my heart because I loved her. Now I understand and know that it is not an easy decision.



    Your thread is not OT! This is your life and we are here to let you know that we love you and care about you. If that means talking about your animals insteaad of cancer than so be it. After all, the animals are the first priority.



    I hope Deuce has come home. Or maybe the guy who took the rest of the goats could come back with a few. If Deuce heard their bleating I'm sure he'd come running to see his herd mates again.



    I hope today is a good day for you.

  • Latte
    Latte Member Posts: 141
    edited August 2013

    Teri, I hope that you are managing to have some good times too, and that you managed to feed Deuce. I'm glad your Mom is there to help you.

    Wishing you more good days and special times with those you love and who love you (goats included)

  • susan_02143
    susan_02143 Member Posts: 2,394
    edited August 2013

    Teri,

    Thinking of you today. Deuce is quite the wildcard isn't he? Has he returned? Has he been fooled into the stall? I hope that it is a good thing that your mother is with you and that she is doing her best to attune herself to your needs.

    Boston is seeing some almost-Fall weather today. Crisp and clear with a strong breeze. Days with sunshine always lift my spirits.

    *susan*

  • blainejennifer
    blainejennifer Member Posts: 441
    edited August 2013

    Teri,

    Hope you have managed to capture the wayward Deuce by now. Goats are so smart - he must be freaked out by everything that is happening. I wouldn't be surprised if he senses something "bad" is happening, and is rebelling with all his goaty heart. Which also points to what a good companion you are to the goats - I think Deuce must love you very much.

    I used to help at my Aunt's goat farm. Goats rock.

    Wishing you the best,

    Jennifer

  • GrammyR
    GrammyR Member Posts: 297
    edited August 2013

    You should not have to wait to enroll in hospice, that is ridiculous. I worked for one in Fl. They do " New admissions " on weekends too. If your Oncology is not timely signing the your PC doc can do it. Most hospice do not wait for all paperwork in to start coming. A not for profit one will even take on anyone who has no insurance or funds . So please have it mom call them again today. Are you in a rural area. Sometimes less staff available. Heaven sake have mom even call another area too.It just infuriates me that you are having to wait. I sure hope the goat comes back to eat w/you. I think goats are not picky about what they eat, so he/she will do just fine, and will be back to visit. I love my cat and brought her clear across country w/me last year when I moved. You are the one who needs care right now. I am praying for you to get all the help you need asap. Hugs ..
    Please PM me anytime.

  • raro
    raro Member Posts: 78
    edited August 2013

    Capriness, 

    I got chickens about 3 years ago, on a whim actually. I live in the suburbs and nobody would guess that a half-dozen hens wander in my backyard every day. But what amazed me (and I've always been an animal lover) was just how much of a farmer at heart I am. I would love to have goats and other animals, and reading about your experiences with Deuce just confirms in my mind that animals are smarter than most of us think and that the love they give is incomparable. 

    I hope you can feel the love of not only your animals, wherever they end up, but also of us. You are not alone.