Time for hospice and Im really scared
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Yes, closure is a funny term, but I think it applies here as we were all wondering what was happening after Teri stopped posting. I was among those who kept checking obituaries in her area, although I never found one.
Teri's brother meant well, but he notified the wrong forum after she died. It was one that wasn't used much by her from what I can tell, so I am surprised we found out about it at all. Our dear Teri hung on tenaciously after being told to enter Hospice, and even found humor in her situation when asked to leave it when she didn't die fast enough for her local Hospice. I have to say, I appreciated her dark humor. She has given me a model to emulate when my time comes.
Meanwhile, I hope everyone who visits this thread is doing as well as possible. I know several visitors have mentioned that they are also in Hospice care or about to enter it. To them, I send my best. I keep each of you in my thoughts.
If there is anyone who might benefit, feel stronger and/or feel less alone from some online support a la Teri, please speak up. You do not have to face dying without people you can freely speak with about it. We know that it can be hard or impossible to talk about it with those around you. I am sure there are good people here who would gladly do what they can to answer your questions as we tried to answer Teri's. We also can send you our good wishes, maybe some amusing pictures to lift your spirits and, of course, some warm, genuinely felt cyber (((hugs))). Remember, we all will be going down the same path.
We may not be able to meet each other due to distances or illness, but we have learned from Teri that we can come to care a great deal about each other, which is lovely.
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i haven't posted much here but have followed from the beginning and I think everyone has been a great support for everyone else ,teri will be missed very much but defineately never forgotten .it just has given me an inner peace coming here and reading how everyones days have gone the pictures the support it has been a wonderful thread that I hope keeps going ,and teri rip my dear sister you have left a memory in my heart that I wont ever forget.
love chris
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I need comfort and strength...I have set the date for my dog to be put down. Thursday at 4. This may seem like a strange place to post this, but it's the only place I know that is so supportive. I haven't cried this much in years. Even over my diagnosis....she is more than just my best friend for 15 years...she carries with her my life story. She was there when I brought my first born home...I could go on and on. I just don't have the energy. I will love her forever and will be so excited to hug her neck when I see her on the other side.
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My heart hurts for you right now. We did the same thing for my 15 year old Springer Spaniel Emma last year at this time. I miss her still and will look forward to a reunion one day. Prayers for strength and comfort for you and your beloved dog. I know how much it hurts.
Amy
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Kjones...
I think this is the perfect place to post your sadness about your beloved dog. Teri was the patron saint of animals, and she would be sad too.
I did the same for my beautiful 16 year old cat, and it was so hard. I cried all over that poor kitty... but I know I was doing the right thing for her. Why can't our animals live as long as we do, however long that may be? Saying goodbye is so hard.
I send you lots of love, with the hope that you'll be smiling again soon...
Rose.
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{{{{{{KJones}}}}}}}
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k jones
im so sorry I have tears in my eyes as I write this .,im so sorry and you will be in my thouhts .I raise poodles and last year I had a puppy that lived for about 8 weeks and I had him sold and the day before he was going to leave he chocked on something and I didn't hear him and he died I cried for days ,it was so hard .I now sit and watch them eat and everything . my heart goes out to you
love chris
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kjones - I am really very sorry for you and send you much sympathy. It is difficult to lose any of our pets, but it is especially hard to lose the ones that become particularly dear to us. Watching these special ones near the end of their lives is painful, emotionally wrenching and draining. Your tears and feeling of impending loss for your beloved dog are understandable. Fortunately, your sweet little friend does not understand. She just knows she doesn't feel well and that you are kind to her. You are doing the right and loving thing by having her put down. Take her to the vet on Thursday and don't be ashamed of your tears.
I have learned, at least for me, that it is far harder before having an animal put down, than it is right afterwards, even though I might mourn it for a long time. Afterwards there is a feeling of release, of knowing while I have lost my special dog, or cat, or horse, it is no longer suffering. I warn the vet that I will cry, but that I will be fine in a little while.
(((Hugs))) to you. Sarah
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kj
I'm so sorry to learn your beloved pet needs to be put to sleep. Pets become our friends and extended children. The great sadness and mourning is perfectly normal. This is the best place to talk with your friends as everyone here loves animals and understand the special bond with these friends I am sure Terri will comfort your furry friend outside of this earth. I will be in your pocket today as you walk through this difficult time.
Love
Maureen
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I too know the pain you feel. I tried to save my 3 year old chi. She was dx with lymphoma. I paid thousands of dollars after being promised that they could put her in remission with chemo. After her first chemo treatment I brought her home where she became lethargic, I called the center and they said to bring her back. They said her potassium was very high because of the rapid death of the cancer cells. They had me sign a paper to have them resuscitate her which cost me two thousand dollars, an hour later she was gone. I cried so hard they had to call my husband to come get me. I will never, ever do that again!!! If any of my babies get that sick I will take care of them until I feel it's time. I have researched the cancer cell death causing a rise in potassium and have found nothing to substantiate their claim. Has anyone else heard of this? Thanks for sharing your stories and reading mine. RIP To Our Wonderful Teri!!! Hugs to all, Cynthia
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If dying cancer cells cause high levels of Potassium, most of us on here would have needed resuscitation during chemo. Humph. I think it's a cover story for their having overdosed him. I am so sorry it happened to you.
I had a much loved cat who developed bone cancer on his hip after being given an inoculation. I have learned that 1 or 2 out of 10,000 cats has that happen, and my poor Grey was one of the unlucky ones. It was awful to watch the mass grow even though he kept eating and playing. We finally had to make the decision to put him down. I had the vet come to my house and do it as we held him in our arms and cried.
Right now I am nursing my daughter's tiny hedgehog who may have oral cancer. I am waiting for test results. I was given medicine to dose him with twice a day but it almost killed him within two days. He was shaking and could barely walk. He listed over to the left as he moved and I knew was close to dying. I called the vet in alarm on Friday and was told to stop giving it and see what happens, which I had already decided to do. I started feeding him through a syringe and giving him water that way as well, to keep him hydrated. He improved slowly and is much better by this morning. He's eating voraciously and ran in his wheel last night, judging by all the dirty little footprints in it. I soak his pellets to make them soft so he can eat them without hurting his poor mouth.
We worry about and love our animals very much, don't we? And, we go to great lengths to care for them. I have stood in barns at midnight giving IV drips to geriatric horses or pushing medicine through lines the vets inserted in their veins, given an enema to a dog who greedily ate too many walnut husks - why she ate them, I couldn't tell you, poked pills down ungrateful cats mouths while getting my fingers horribly bitten, formula fed abandoned kittens and baby raccoons, etc. Now, I am waking at 4 am to care for a hedgehog that isn't even mine, but he's awfully endearing.
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Yes Hortense, I also believe they overdosed her. I paid a lot of money for that lesson. So now I know better. I have moved to the country and now have a wonderful small town vet who takes care of my 3 babies and he is wonderful. I can call him day or night as he lives at the clinic. He has saved my babies many times for a reasonable fee. I am so paranoid that I call or take them in for everything.
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Macyhen - Your little ones are lucky to have you. It is so nice to have a vet that you can trust and work with. I had a wonderful horse vet who would come day or night when we called him. We came home from a party one time to find a horse lying down outside looking miserable. She clearly was suffering from colic which can kill a horse - we had lost a pony to it. I stayed with her in my long dress and high heels, holding her head, as the vet lay on his side to do an internal exam to see if she was impacted. That meant, while lying down on the ground wearing a long plastic glove and sleeve, he had to insert his hand and arm up to his shoulder into her rectum to try to see what was going on inside of her.
We, my husband, the vet and I, finally got her to get up by me pulling on her lead line and halter and their pushing her from behind. He then gave her painkillers, muscle relaxants and most importantly an oil treatment which meant putting a large tube up her nose, down her throat and into her stomach, then pumping a large bucket of mineral oil and warm water into her. We had to keep her walking for a long time afterwards so she did not lie back down and roll to try to relive the pain and possibly twist a gut which would have killed her as it did the poor pony. It was a long night and, as you might imagine, she wasn't too happy about the entire process. The wonderful vet saved her, ungrateful thing that she was, and we were all very happy.
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(((kjones))) My heart is sad for you and your baby. I know this kind of pain much too well and it hurts for a very long time if not forever. Huge hugs and know you are doing the right thing, as hard as it is. It is truly done out of love.
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kjones
I will alsobe thinking of you and you are doing the right thing but the heartache is awful and I truly will be crying with you I know its hard ..we care and are here for you .
love chris
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Kjones, you are in my thoughts and prayers as you go through this truly difficult time. Know that you are doing what is kind and right for your furbaby. She will always be a part of your life and will live on in the many lovely memories that you have of her. I wish your baby peace on her journey. (((Hugs))) to You and your family, Cynthia
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Kjones - I thought of you yesterday. I hope you are alright. It is so very hard to lose a beloved pet, especially one which has shared so much of your life. I know that you took wonderful care of her and I am certain that she loved you greatly in return. Such relationships are to be treasured and remembered always. Your aching hurt has reminded many of us of furry friends we have had, loved and lost over the years.
It is always so difficult to lose them. I couldn't even look at pictures of certain ones without great sadness for years after they were gone, although I remembered and thought about them. My sympathies are with you today and in the days to come.
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thank you all. The vet got called out to an emergency yesterday, so she came today at about 2:00. I'm exhausted. I've never cried so much in my life. I know it was the right thing to do, just hard to say goodbye. My husband was so sweet and helpful digging the grave and burying her. I have always been terrified of death. I've tried to come to a place of peace about it, but today, I was reminded how much I hate death and dying. Yes she is not suffering, but I don't think she was too much. I just want her here with me. Hopefully my eyes will dry up. I've got kids to tend to. I'd rather just lay down and cry some more.
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((((kjones)))) Your tears will dry.
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kjones
my heart goes out to you and I will be thinking of you .
love chris
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Kjones- may all the wonderful memories of your dog comfort you. I understand fully the grief. Fur family members are family. I have cried more tears in vet offices than doctor's offices! Crying is cathartic. Hugs for you.
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I have just been catching up here after my absence in June. Had many moments of beauty, joy, love with DH. Thought of all of you each day. Had 4 ED visits and 3 hospital admissions, entered hospice this week. Am so grateful to Teri and all of you. Karyn, thank you for clarifying Teri's status - it had been really bugging me, too. So sorry to hear of all the animal issues. Sending lovingkindness to all of you, and my gratitude that you are here. I am comfortable, have family caring for me. BrendaTrue has contact for DH and between the 2 of them will update you as best we can. I will post when I can, will read when I can.
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((((Linda)))) You have been such a wonderful support to others. It's time to support you! Sending love, and all my best wishes for peace and comfort.
Rose.
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I am so sorry about your baby. They are after all our babies. I buried 2; 1 lived 18 years and 1 15. I miss them so. They love you no matter what. We had my son's dog for a long time and now he is with my son. We are so crazy about that dog. Really miss him too. He does have 4 new puppies and we are taking 1. Can't imagine life w/o man's and woman's best friend. Think about the joy your baby brought you. I have a special place in our yard for both of them. Makes me feel close to them.
Diane
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Linda- sending love and hugs out to you - sounds like you have had a rough month. I hope you are not in pain and that you feel at peace with this next step. You have been such a support to others here; I hope we can support you too.
Kjones, it is so hard to lose a beloved pet. I'm sorry you had to put your dear dog to sleep. Teri the animal lover would have surely empathized with you. It is somehow fitting that you posted this on her thread..
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Linda - You must be exhausted after so many visits to the ER and stays in the hospital. I am glad to hear that you have family surrounding you at this time. I hope that your local Hospice will give you the support and palliative care that you need and deserve so that you can be comfortable resting in your own home. Please do check in with us when you are able. I will be looking for you on here, and thinking about you.
I hope, like Teri, you will ask any questions you may have that you might not want to ask family or friends, perhaps some of us can answer them. Meanwhile, I send you my best wishes for your ease, and I hope you will not have to go back to the ER or the hospital, nice as everyone in those places tries to be. The constant beeping and ringing of phones there drives me crazy and rest is almost impossible.
I hope you have a comfy chair or couch to curl up into while you are awake, loving people around you and most of all that you are not scared. Should you become uneasy or feel alone, remember Teri and remember us. Please know that we will be with you in spirit every step of the way. (((hugs))) Sarah
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KJones - I ache for you as I have experienced your sadness at losing a dearly loved pet and I know what you are feeling. I have buried all too many, and my husband has buried the ones I didn't. Your husband was so sweet to take care of that sad duty for you. It was a gracious act of love. I am so sorry you are crying, but I truly understand. I have cried more for certain pets I have lost than family members, and grieved for them far more.
Please try not to fear death and dying. I did for many years until I was with my mother as she died in Hospice. As I sat next to her night and day, I came to realize how normal and natural the process is, odd as that sounds. I learned that dying was not something to be afraid of at all. I watched her go through it, held her as she died peacefully and to my surprise was left with feeling of calm acceptance of the end of life. I lost all of my fear of dying. Now, fear of pain and of injury, that I still have in large amounts, but that's probably instinctual. I am not looking to die, or have anyone I love die, but I am not afraid of it myself any longer. I hope that you will eventually find the same acceptance and come to believe as I have that there is nothing to fear. I send you my best. Take good care of yourself. Sarah
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Linda-N3 - We will be with you all the way in spirit. Peace with the next leg of your journey. I hope you have a comfy chair near the window to your garden and friends and family to enjoy. Wonderful that you have had nice experiences with DH and are out of the ER and at home. Sending you lovingkindness and peace. Hugs too.
Cindi
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Linda,
So glad the ER hospital chapter is over . May you find peace and calm in the months to come.
Caryn
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