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Time for hospice and Im really scared

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Comments

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited June 2014

    Be at peace dear Teri..........your journey has taught many of us that love and support is always there, we just need to ask.

    Chrissyb

  • april485
    april485 Member Posts: 1,983
    edited June 2014

    RIP Teri...you are loved.

  • luckymother
    luckymother Member Posts: 14
    edited June 2014

    Dear Teri,

    I discovered this beautiful group of people during my brief flirt with cancer (I was considered high risk patient and had a mastectomy back in March) . By reading all those messages, I feel like I now you all, thank you so much for that Teri. I am sure, you are somewhere celebrating your time on this earth with other beautiful souls and animals who were here before you.

    When time comes, I know we all get to know each other in person (in soul), till then bye.  

  • ronniekay
    ronniekay Member Posts: 657
    edited June 2014

    Thank you, Caryn.  Teri surely welcomed Jill with love & peace.  

  • Hortense
    Hortense Member Posts: 718
    edited June 2014

    Caryn - I am glad that you settled the question that had been in many of our minds. Now we know that Teri has died and we can keep her in our thoughts. She would have liked that.

  • 20130502
    20130502 Member Posts: 162
    edited June 2014

    Teri and all who come here,

    This is my go to place on bco.  I don't really look elsewhere and you are to me like family.  I mourn the loss of Teri but am relieved to know she is truly pain free.  Thank you all, for being here for me.  I did not post much but feel so connected and safe here.  I believe that Teri's twinkles that she so lovingly planted in each of us will always be here and wherever we in turn pass them on.  She has truly created a legacy of the best kind.

    Janet

  • Maureen813
    Maureen813 Member Posts: 1,826
    edited June 2014

    Terri's passing has hit so hard. Even though  I had no opportunity to meet the physical Terri the connection with the twinkle Terri was something special. The mom in me wanted to protect her and make things better  then Jill passing. Is so much. Where is the cure ? Where is the treatment ?  I am honored to have known Terri's twinkle.

  • macyhen111
    macyhen111 Member Posts: 402
    edited June 2014

    I come here everyday, but don't know what to say. I was sad to hear that our Teri had passed, but happy that she is no longer in pain. It hurts when we lose our Sisters. I will continue to come here because it feels right. Hugs to all, Cynthia

  • Vadre
    Vadre Member Posts: 159
    edited June 2014

    I, too, think I will continue to come here. Cynthia, you put it beautifully, it just feels right. I hope I find others of you here from time-to-time. This has become my favorite corner of BCO. 

    Virginia

  • Hortense
    Hortense Member Posts: 718
    edited June 2014

    Mine too. I like the feeling of community. Interestingly, I saw an article in the Sunday NY Times about a photographer who followed a Hospice nurse on her rounds, and it made me think of Teri. The nurse said that most people feel scared when they enter Hospice, but that as time goes by they relax and accept their situation. It is reassuring.

    Best to all of you, Sarah

  • Vadre
    Vadre Member Posts: 159
    edited June 2014

    Thanks for sharing that, Sarah. It is reassuring!  I tend to be one extreme or the other these days when I think of dying. Sometimes it brings on a sense of panic that is suffocating and sometimes I am peaceful and assured that those I love will care for each other well. I haven't pinpointed what causes the difference. I guess it's a good thing that slightly more often I am calm. That's a change from my initial diagnosis days. 

    Virginia

  • macyhen111
    macyhen111 Member Posts: 402
    edited June 2014

    Hi everybody, I hope everyone is okay. I don't know but having witnessed    Teri' s strenght and inspiration has made it a little easier for me. I now think about living my life to the fullest and when I get tired I will know that it is okay to let go. I Love Teri for making me take a realistic look at life and death. I have accomplished more then I ever dreamed of and I know there is still more in store for me.  This is also my favorite place to come to. I Love reading all the post. Xoxox to You all, Cynthia

  • ronniekay
    ronniekay Member Posts: 657
    edited July 2014

    Do you think Teri was an angel on earth...by the gift of grace she gave to so many, I wonder.

  • Maureen813
    Maureen813 Member Posts: 1,826
    edited July 2014

    I know Terri mentioned she had personal belief differing from organized faith. I often wondered if that was a plan. Part of all faith  to bring us together in a world of turbulent times. Regardless she was a sweet soul brightening the spirits of everyone dealt a difficult disease. I'm grateful she let us join her walk through the physical end of time on earth. I pray she is at spiritual peace.

  • Hortense
    Hortense Member Posts: 718
    edited July 2014

    It's kind of funny to see this thread so quiet. I'm used to posting here regularly. I do think Teri is at rest, if that is the right term. I believe that when we die our life is over and that there is no more. I realize that others feel differently, but I think from what she wrote that Teri felt as I do. That doesn't mean that she wasn't spiritual at times, I think we all are when moved by something beautiful. But she did not believe in any organized religion, or a god, and did not want to be prayed for. She made that clear. I understand that. I have read that an increasing number of Americans are not religious, especially on both coasts. She and I live/d on the coasts, albeit on opposite ones. Perhaps like me, she began life as part of a religion, then moved away as she moved through life. There's nothing wrong with that. I have known a lot of good people who were not religious. Teri was one of them. 

  • Maureen813
    Maureen813 Member Posts: 1,826
    edited July 2014

    That's the beauty of spiritual faith. We are allowed to believe whatever our mind and heart can think or feel. 

    The day is beautiful today. Bunnies are teasing our dog by staying just out of the dogs reach. A hummingbird is hovering and looking for a sweet drink which I need to provide soon. Peaceful morning in western New York. Wonder how deuce is doing?  I hope he's getting ready for a 4th party  enjoy today

  • macyhen111
    macyhen111 Member Posts: 402
    edited July 2014

    I miss coming here and seeing all the wonderful post and caring people that rallied around Teri. I am a person of faith and feel that there is something else for us after physical death. But I don't force my beliefs on others. Everyone has the right to believe what they do and I personally respect that. I am friends with many who don't believe and we agree not to talk about it, as our friendships are not based on our differences. Hugs to all, Cynthia

  • Hortense
    Hortense Member Posts: 718
    edited July 2014

    I have often wondered how Deuce is doing. Did he ever come in from the cold, so to speak? Or, is he still lurking just beyond the barn where his friends now live? Perhaps when they were turned out to pasture in the spring, as I expect they finally were, he decided to hop the fence and join them. I hope so. I don't know much about the climate there, so have no idea if it stays mild or gets a lot of snow. I also do not know much about goats, so do not know how hardy they are. I think they are like deer in that they can eat a wide variety of growing things, so probably Deuce was able to feed himself. He was certainly a free spirit.

  • Vadre
    Vadre Member Posts: 159
    edited July 2014

    I have uncertain feelings about an after life. The thing that gives me pause, again and again is that I feel the presence, in my life, of loved ones who have passed away. I know that my mother has been with me, providing added strength as I go through BCA. I know, in my head, that this can be explained by my love and desire to have my Mother with me, but that doesn't feel like all it is. At those times I actually wonder if the "after life" is Love. Is it simply that we go on living in the hearts and memories of those whom we loved?  I don't know. Some days I am sure I understand, most days I'm not. 

    Either way, I know that Teri continues to be HERE with us. She is alive with us in that she is what brought us together and a desire not to loose those relationships is what keeps bringing us back!  I know that I will always remember and be thankful for Teri and the gifts she gave to me. Her example of grace is one I hold up to myself often. She worried about those she loved, her critters, more than she worried about herself. Teri will continue in my heart and in the hearts of many I imagine. Maybe that is what's important. To have a positive impact on the world that remains after your physical presence is gone?

    I'm glad that we are still coming here. A few of us. I would be sad without this place. 

    Virginia

  • car2tenn
    car2tenn Member Posts: 132
    edited July 2014

    I am both sorrowful and joyful for our sister Terri.. She endured with grace.  She passed on with peace.  May we all do so with such class .  I do not know what happens at passing but  I am certainly filled with hope and believe that we meet up with our loved ones.   Carolyn

  • 20130502
    20130502 Member Posts: 162
    edited July 2014

    I apologize.  I keep coming but have been reading more than posting lately.  I recently ran across the lyrics to Bob Dylan's song Forever Young.  Not only was our Teri forever young herself, she and all the friends she gathered here have helped me to see the importance of living as though I am forever young.  Teri, I will try to always sing your song, especially with the help of your circle of friends here.

    Local news of the day....the new seeing eye puppy has found her voice.  After she got over being startled by it, she has been practicing her bark most of the evening.  I think she may be a little disgruntled that nobody is responding...not me and not our two year old Labrador either.  I am amused that Molly the lab is taking the same approach to training as me....not giving negative attention to undesirable behaviors.  I love you Raha and tonight I love you most now that you have finally fallen asleep.

    "Forever Young"

    May God bless and keep you always

    May your wishes all come true

    May you always do for others

    And let others do for you

    May you build a ladder to the stars

    And climb on every rung

    May you stay forever young

    Forever young, forever young

    May you stay forever young.

    May you grow up to be righteous

    May you grow up to be true

    May you always know the truth

    And see the lights surrounding you

    May you always be courageous

    Stand upright and be strong

    May you stay forever young

    Forever young, forever young

    May you stay forever young.

    May your hands always be busy

    May your feet always be swift

    May you have a strong foundation

    When the winds of changes shift

    May your heart always be joyful

    And may your song always be sung

    May you stay forever young

    Forever young, forever young

    May you stay forever young.

  • kjones13
    kjones13 Member Posts: 662
    edited July 2014

    this was also my favorite place to come...just been reading recently. Glad that Teri is at peace. I know that I will never look at another goat without thinking of her...that's a strange sentence. I feel so very blessed to have been a small part of her world and y'all's as well. Is that a word? I hope that I can come to a sense of peace when my time comes. I'm 50/50...either panicking or calm. Good night sweet ladies!

  • springwatch
    springwatch Member Posts: 243
    edited July 2014

    I, too, will never look at a goat without thinking of Teri and her animals. 

    I have wondered what happened to Deuce, too. Rumour has it he stowed away on a cruise ship and fetched up in London where he has opened a pub.

    image

    Hope it makes you smile Teri, wherever you are.

  • Vadre
    Vadre Member Posts: 159
    edited July 2014

    What a wonderful place to come to find friends & support!

    20150etc. Thank you so much for posting those lyrics!  I don't think I have ever stopped and thought about them before. I sing along every time it comes along on the radio but haven't really paid attention before. The words are beautiful and, yes, so appropriate for Teri!  

    Enjoy the fireworks💥 fellow Americans! 

    Virginia

  • Maureen813
    Maureen813 Member Posts: 1,826
    edited July 2014

    Loopyhi ladies. I'm convinced deuce is in a parade today all decked out in red, white and blueHappyHappy 4th 

  • macyhen111
    macyhen111 Member Posts: 402
    edited July 2014

    Hi everybody, I also feel the need to come here often. Even though we have never talked directly to each other I feel a strong bond to y'all. I hope when my time comes to need this kind of support I can find loving and caring Bc Sisters like y'all. Hugs to All!! Cynthia

  • AmyQ
    AmyQ Member Posts: 821
    edited July 2014

    The title of Teri's thread burned a hole in my heart when I read it for the first time.  I think her honesty and primal fear of death is something we can all relate to whether we believe in some kind of spiritual life after we're gone, or not. I am terrified of dying and leaving my children and grandchildren and all my other loved ones behind. This fear shakes me to my core, so going through Teri's journey with her was comforting and made death a little less terrifying, at least for me. I will miss her warmth, sense of humor and genuine love for all creatures great and small. I do read this post every day in hopes that we will see her twinkle now and again. Hugs back to all who felt the same about our dear Teri.  Caryn you will have a very special place in my heart for finding out what really happened to her and sharing the final chapter with us. 

    Amy

  • Hortense
    Hortense Member Posts: 718
    edited July 2014

    How true that the title of Teri's thread burned a hole in our hearts when each of us first read it.

  • cookiegal
    cookiegal Member Posts: 527
    edited July 2014

    Caryn you did the right thing.

    Terri was a teacher for so many people. She represented the best of BCO, it gave her a platform to connect with all of us.

    Thanks Terri, happy trails and tails wherever you are.

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 5,254
    edited July 2014

    Ladies,

    You give me too much credit. I did have the help of two wonderful sisters who pm'ed me with info, but asked that I not use their names. It felt important to find out what was going on, but it drained me emotionally. However, I am glad I did pursue it as I think it has, ultimately, given us all closure ( I hate that word, but that's all I've got) and allows us to honor Teri.

    Caryn