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Moving On......After the Flap

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Comments

  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 1,068
    edited March 2014

    onward bosumblues.......

    This sexy female ninja warrior is ready to go to battle

  • bailey6760
    bailey6760 Member Posts: 380
    edited March 2014

    In your pocket, Liefie.

    Bosumblues.....it's always something (said Roseanne Rosannadanna). Hugs. You keep finding your way, despite all the yuckery.....keep on finding it.

    Jeannie, still praying for the victims out there near you. What a tragedy. So sad.


  • Jeannie57
    Jeannie57 Member Posts: 1,314
    edited March 2014

    Thanks, Bailey. Everybody's heart is heavy around here for the victims and their families. The response, though, has been amazing! So many volunteers, food, supplies, money collected. It is going to be a long ordeal. I know two people who have lost friends in what was a beautiful area. It's really mind boggling.

    BosomBlues, thinking of you. I keep hoping for you....

    DH had a good interview today but with a company that expects lots of extra hours worked, up to 70 a week at times! Not the kind of situation we were hoping for. We'll see what happens. His other two possibilities that went so well have been silent. It's getting old but we're still hopeful.

  • Jeannie57
    Jeannie57 Member Posts: 1,314
    edited April 2014

    YAY Deb!!! So happy for you. I have one permanently damaged eye and one good eye. I am glad I can still drive, read, etc. It is just a nuisance so far.

    DH was just told (after I posted) that the job he interviewed for and wanted a couple weeks ago has been divided into two junior positions instead of one senior so he's not eligible. They said he was impressive, though. That's the kind of thing that happens. Weird stuff, out of his control, certainly.

  • Jeannie57
    Jeannie57 Member Posts: 1,314
    edited April 2014

    Deb, I just take a low dose aspirin at night for the eye. No plan, no treatment, just keep BP on an even level, avoid sedation if possible or be closely monitored.  Since nobody knows why it happened, I do wonder about the other eye, like there is an eye sword and cancer sword and who knows what else sword hanging over me. But life cannot be fully lived and enjoyed like that so I put those thoughts away for the most part. As for hubs and me, we are enjoying being together, for sure. We know we will enjoy being together in retirement, if we ever get there! A job to retire FROM would be required first!

  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 761
    edited April 2014

    Hi guys, did not read any posts, but just want to thank you all sincerely for your good wishes today. I'm already back home, grumpy, weary and miserable from the aneasthesia and then the 3-hour drive home. Will be going to bed shortly before I bite off somebody's head - LOL. Everything has gone pretty well, and so far there is no pain anywhere. Got a nipple, a lift on the other side, and a little liposuction on the side of the tummy scar where it was a little puffy. Will only get to see my new assets in a few days' time when the bandages come off.

    Will be back here tomorrow when I feel more like my old self. A good night to all of you!

  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 1,068
    edited April 2014

    love ya, liefie...rest easy!

  • sweetpickle
    sweetpickle Member Posts: 185
    edited April 2014

    rest easy Liefie!

    deb- hoping things turn around for you soon!

    nihahi- most awesome super hero gal!

    I have put myself on a liquid diet with one meal a day now. Nothing else is working and I continue to gain weight. I am up to 206lbs. now which is six pounds more than last week. I don't understand this at all and the docs aren't helping either. They keep saying to eat less and more more. Well dropping down from 1300 to 800 to see if that changes things. All my life I never had a weight problem until now.

  • mammalou
    mammalou Member Posts: 293
    edited April 2014

    hi guys!  I go in for nipple, fat grafting, and surgical biopsy on good breast tomorrow.  Hoping all goes well! 

  • Jeannie57
    Jeannie57 Member Posts: 1,314
    edited April 2014

    Oh, Sweet. That just isn't right! I'm sorry.

    Mammalou, in your pockets! You've come such a long way!

  • Jeannie57
    Jeannie57 Member Posts: 1,314
    edited April 2014

    Wow, I just realized I blew right past March 29, the 2 year anniversary of my bmx, without even noticing. Now that's moving on!

  • FierceBluebird
    FierceBluebird Member Posts: 463
    edited April 2014

    Just a quick update. Had an appt.  with a specialist yesterday who didn't leave me feeling too positive. Wants me to have whole head radiation, and I'm already scared of the gamma knife which is one day radiation.

    Lots of critical decisions to make and not strong enough to make them. I Keep praying for a sign to tell me what to do, but so far no one's listening. Or more likely I'm not listening.

    Good luck mammalou. Liefie rest up. Bailey, hooray! And everyone else, hugs

  • Zenful
    Zenful Member Posts: 394
    edited April 2014

    Fierce, it sounds like you need your gang of bluebirds to help you through this, so I have changed my avatar back to the "gang sign". I will be praying for strength and a sign to guide you. (((((Hugs)))))

  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 1,068
    edited April 2014

    yep....in your pockets mammalou....will be sending positive thoughts your way.

    jeannie...that is some AWESOME moving on....I think it shows your determination that this yuckery is NOT going to become your life.

    sweet...I can hear the frustration in your words. Wish I could just reach through the computer and give you a huge hug. I confess, I will worry about you on such a restricted diet, healthwise and happiness wise. 800 calories....not sustainable and will screw up your metabolism even more, in my opinion. Have you already tried something built around real food, like weight watchers?? You can do it on-line, I believe. Please, be careful with how you do this. I do understand how much you want to turn the weight gain around, do you understand how much your family and we here want you to be ok while doing it????

    fierceblue....yes, it does sound scary...sometimes I think we look so intensely for a "positive", and it's hard to find, because the way to get there is so difficult. Maybe the positive is they want to "ensure" a future, instead of implying there is none? I can only offer a heartfelt prayer, a hand to hold and a TOWANDA mindset. Can you get more opinions to help you choose a plan of tx??? 

  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 761
    edited April 2014

    Fierce, I never knew they did whole head radiation . . . but you are in my thoughts and prayers, and have been every day for the last few weeks. What a hard decision you have to make! Maybe think of it as an investment for the future? You've been through so much already. This #$%^&^*% disease is like a stalking monster. Just when you think you're safe it rears its ugly head again. (((((((((((((FierceBluebird))))))))))))

    Mammalou, you will breeze through this part, and we are in your pockets! 

     I slept well, and have a little uncomfortable feeling in the lifted breast, and on the lipo hip this morning, but I can't even call it pain. That would be a lie. Looked at the girls in the mirror last night. At last have symmetry again for the first time since Feb. 7, 2012  when I had the mastectomy, and my cleavage (the little that I have!) has been evened out. It is amazing how the PS has judged just how much to lift and shift the healthy breast to match the other one. They are exactly the same size and height now - pretty pleased so far. 

  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 1,068
    edited April 2014

    That's WONDERFUL liefie....!!! So happy for you. I'd say do the "happy dance", but that might be a bit too "jostling" today....Bet there is a great big smile on your face..! Hugs, girl......a bit of healing to do and you will put this all in the "done" bin, and get on with the Grandma thing. Speaking of....how is little Em???

  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 956
    edited April 2014

    Fierce, this is a challenging time for you, and we're all supporting you on our raft of friendship.  Not just in your pockets...we're holding you up through these tough days and hard decisions.  You're in my prayers every day, but I'll be asking specifically for guidance and assurance that you'll chose the best for you. 

    Liefie, I'm so thrilled you're almost on the other side of this very tall speedbump!  Gentle healing and restful recovery right now.

    Mammalou, safe surgery and good recovery wishes coming your way.  When you can pry your eyes open, let us know how you're doing. 

    Jeannie, I know something good is just around the bend for your hubs and his job hunt.  It's just your turn now for good news...  And you're such a model of "hanging in there" with everything that's been happening in your life!

    Hey, Sweet, we've probably talked about this before, but have you had your thyroid checked?  Low thyroid is very common in women our age, especially if you've had radiation.  You might consider seeing an endocrinologist to help get this sorted.  NO ONE should be gaining six pounds in a week on 1300 cal/day, and dropping to 800 is a bad idea.  You'll put your system into starvation mode, which makes weight loss much harder.

    Nihahi...TOWANDA for us all!

  • MartyJ
    MartyJ Member Posts: 819
    edited April 2014

    Sweet, I echo Nihahi & SBE.  I know you are on thyroid meds, but perhaps you need to switch from synthroid to armour.  They do work differently.  See if you can find a functional medicine doc who can tackle many of the underlying issues.  Please don't drop to 800 cal/day, so many opportunities for it to backfire.  Have you eliminated those delicious items that really don't love the body - grains, rice, dairy, sugars.  Things that are inflammatory to the system.  Clean and simple, though well spiced.  I read Amy Myers blog, Paleo Solution, marks daily apple.  If I eat dairy or grains, my weight jumps and it is really mostly bloating (yeah - coupled with swelly belly from DIEP and life is such fun).  The most important thing is that it doesn't have to "cost a lot".  I am sure you have already thought of many of these, but just trying to help a bit.

  • Jeannie57
    Jeannie57 Member Posts: 1,314
    edited April 2014

    FierceBluebird, remember you are fierce even when you don't feel like it. You are going to continue kicking cancer's a$s out of your body. Can you hear all the wings fluttering around you? We are with you in spirit, praying for you, hurting with you, hoping with you. I am praying specifically that you will be able to make the right decision soon so you can turn the corner. Then you just have to show up and you will. My heart hurts for you but I am also confident in your inherent spunk. May God wrap His arms around you and whisper in your ear.

  • FierceBluebird
    FierceBluebird Member Posts: 463
    edited April 2014


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  • sweetpickle
    sweetpickle Member Posts: 185
    edited April 2014

    Fierce- praying that you will find peace about what is right for you. Please forgive my blabbering about my weight when you haveso much on you right now. 

    I took a look at my food diary and I am still eating to much sugar, bread, and red meat. I have portion control down, I need to make the hard break from sugar and white flour. I have looked at weight watchers and maybe I will go that route. Dont want to pay for it I guess.

    I am going to talk to my doc about my thyroid meds next visit, they may need to be changed. Thanks for listening guys.

  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 761
    edited April 2014

    Sweet, I struggled to lose weight for a long time after ca treatments were done. Then I decided to cut all white carbs, potatoes, pasta, bread etc, as well as all sugar, cold turkey. Only then did the weight start to come off. It is a daily struggle for me to stay away from bread, and I love baking, but the moment I eat it the weight comes right back. I also try to drink nothing containing any calories. Hope that helps a little.

    Bosum, I'm sure you will be just as thrilled with your results as I am. Don't know how the PS did what she did, but the result is just amazing.

    Fierce, that thank you heart is impressive! Best wishes on your decision - can't be easy, and we're praying for you.

    Jeannie, your positive, sunny attitude and amazing spirit in the face of hardship are so inspirational on this board. I love it, and pray that hubby will find a good job. It is out there, and will find him sooner or later. Wilbur did not visit me yesterday though - wonder what he was doing? LOL.

    Thanks for being there for me, girls, and yes, Nihahi, I have a big smile on my face. Had a wonderful bath this morning in shallow water, careful not to get the dressings wet. Tried to scrub off the black lines that PS used to mark me up yesterday. Got off most, but some are too close to the incisions, so they will stay for a while. I have two very red cheeks still from the anesthesia drugs - it always has that overheating effect on me, and I've been hot since yesterday after surgery. A small price to pay!

    Little Emily will be 5 weeks old tomorrow - time is flying! She is an easy baby, putting on weight, eating well, and DD is going out with her now. We will be visiting them over the Easter weekend, and my two boys and DIL will be there as well. Then an extra bonus: SIL will be starting a master's degree in July at a distance ed university here on Van Island. That means they will be coming out here for three whole weeks in July. He will be in Victoria, and DD and Em will stay with us - can't wait.

    Movie and I have been discussing some issues regarding our Wilbur get together. The more we talk, the more excited I get. Really looking forward to meet all of you, and spend time doing nice things together. TOWANDA!

  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 956
    edited April 2014

    Sweet, I've been using Livestrong.com for years.  It's a website on which you can track your meals--calories, fat, carb, protein, etc.  It's free.  And like Liefie, when I indulge in high-carb foods, it's almost impossible for weight to come off.  I know the typical dietary recommendations include several daily servings of "whole grains," but I can only eat a serving or so each day--I'm just built that way.  I also stopped drinking diet soda during chemo.  It was too sweet for me, and I haven't gone back except for the occasional glass of diet ginger ale.  

    Of course, when I was in my twenties I could just think about walking around the block and the weight would drop off.  Not fair!

    Liefie, I bet you're planning, planning, planning for that baby's visit in July.  What a wonderful time you'll have!  Aubrey is eight months old now and turning into a little girl before my eyes.  The circle of life.

    Fierce, this is me, gently laying my hands on your head and praying.  Strength.  Direction.  Peace.  

  • MartyJ
    MartyJ Member Posts: 819
    edited April 2014

    Sweet - if I smell anything like a "grain-whole or otherwise" I immediately gain.  Same goes for quinoa.  Rice is a tiny bit better.  I have used Livestrong to track as well as My Fitness Pal.  The important thing is to track everything you put into your mouth.  Don't blame the red meat - it is good protein.  And walk at least 30 min every day.  I am trying to get back to that.  I like MFP because several other survivors were able to form a private support group.  The frustrating thing for me about MFP was that if you however many calories you burned through exercise, you were entitled to that many more calories in food a day.  Somehow I thought a bit of a calorie deficit was needed to lose.  Both programs let you input your own recipes and set the nutrient intake levels.  That really helps me before and just after surgeries when I am trying to really raise the protein.  I think now I have my protein level at 30%, carbs at 30% and fat at 40%.  Def time for me to get back to it. If you want to join me in a private MFP group, just PM me with your screen name and I will see what I can do.  Always good to have friends!

    A waitress I met recently told me that she had just lost 80 lbs.  She looked amazing.  I asked her how she did it totally expecting something crazy.  And it was - she walked from her house to the neighboring golf course and then had to walk home - a total of 90 minutes a day.  She did add in some portion controls, but really didn't vary her diet.

  • bailey6760
    bailey6760 Member Posts: 380
    edited April 2014

    Fiercebluebird....our dear friend....I wish I could look into your beautiful face and give you a piece of peace and strength and a smile and a hug.

    Answers will come. We are with you, friend.

    Mammalou.....prayers for you, too.


  • Moviemaniac
    Moviemaniac Member Posts: 242
    edited April 2014

    Just a drive-by....this week has turned into a nightmare for me......maybe a fill-in later on it.  

    Fierce....sending love and strength and prayers your way.....we are holding you up, dear friend......float on that life raft as long as you need to.  We are here for you.....TOWANDA!

    Jeannie, you are always in my prayers.....and I am hoping for positives in bushels coming your way!

    Like Liefie said...the planning stage has begun.....to September countdown!

    Love, Love, LOVE you ladies.....couldn't do it without you!  XO

  • mammalou
    mammalou Member Posts: 293
    edited April 2014

    bluebird... Prayers for you that you can have some clarity on what to do.  I can only imagine how scared and uncertain you are right now.  I read this written by a doctor once and it stuck with me.  

    Larry Norton, M.D.

    Deputy Physician-in-Chief for Breast Cancer Programs; Medical Director, Evelyn H. Lauder Breast Center; Norna S. Sarofim Chair of Clinical Oncology, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center

    If you have trouble making a decision, you don’t know enough. If you gather enough information, the decision will make itself.

    Make sure you communicate. You need to say to your doctor, “I’m here to get better,” not, “Don’t hurt me.” If you’re communicating that you are not interested in toxicity, then you may miss out on a treatment that could save your life.

    If you don’t like your doctor, your doctor probably doesn’t like you. Don’t stay with a physician with whom you’re not comfortable. Don’t force a relationship to work that isn’t working.

    You want a doctor to say, “Here are the best options for you,” not, “ This is what I can do for you.” Doctors should be willing to look beyond their own knowledge to other experts for the best treatment.

    When you think of your future, visualize positive things happening.

    You are more than your body. Use your whole self to help yourself.

    Don’t forget the moment. Be in the moment and enjoy it. Sometimes patients get so focused on what happened in the past or what might happen in the future, they miss the moments they have.


    Hang in there.  


  • mammalou
    mammalou Member Posts: 293
    edited April 2014

    Had a long day of surgery yesterday.  

    I've been going thru liver testing for a long while and got the liver is ok 3 weeks ago.  Then had annual good breast MRI and it showed a lesion and a suspicious mass in my right breast that was supposedly missed last year in a biopsy I had. To think, I worried about that biopsy a lot Last year, got  benign results, then walked around for year not knowing it was still there.  I was supposed to have a 6month follow up MRI but my insurance didn't approve.  

    Had a ct of liver last week and lesion of the liver is a cyst (yea!) and I have  fatty liver from Tamoxifen.

    Had surgery to remove breast lesion AND I got a nipple (yea again) , fat grafting to foob, fat to new biopsy hole created and he added some fat to my yucky ab scar from that open wound.  He is trying to soften it up so he can revise it later.  Thus time he took fat from outer thighs and it doesn't seem to hurt as much as the inner tighs. 

    Anyway, I'm gonna take today off but I'm hoping to ho back to work tomorrow.  

  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 1,068
    edited April 2014

    Mammalou....you sound great! That's a lot of "bits and pieces" done for you yesterday....rest up and heal! You have always amazed me in your drive to "get back to it" after surgeries. Hoping for good news on the lesion....congrats on the nipple!

    Thank you so much for posting that article. What a wonderful physician he must be...wise, wise, wise words. 

    Big hugs, movie....whatever is going on....make sure to care for yourself too.

  • FierceBluebird
    FierceBluebird Member Posts: 463
    edited April 2014

    Thanks everyone for all the positive thoughts and good advice. mammalou so happy your are done! Keep us posted.

    Going to a brain support group meeting tonight. All of us smart people have to stick together. Winking

    Hope to find gather more information to help with my decision. As of right now I'm on board for WBR.