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January 2014 Surgery Sisters

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Comments

  • Mommyathome
    Mommyathome Member Posts: 876
    edited May 2014

    Eve thanks. Yes ADH, DCIS and LCIS. They took node from each side but found no cancer. I'm pushing to have ovaries out too. The other gyno that I spoke to was against it but I told her I'm having them out!!! Bs said w family history and my diagnosis of bs by 45 they should come out. I'll be 42 in August. I'm not having everything else out now and ovaries in 3 years. That doesn't make sense to me!!! I'll keep u posted on what mo says

  • Mommyathome
    Mommyathome Member Posts: 876
    edited May 2014

    Well it's me again. I can't seem to catch a flipping break!! I got my blood test results back and 2 specific areas were abnormally high; RDW and anion gap. I'm not sure exactly what these are I put a call into my doctor to find out. From what I gathered from the Internet is a high RDW could indicate anemia and a high anion gap could indicate diabetes. I'm like really?!?  Wth!!! I'm waiting to hear back from my doctor and trying to stay off the Internet to look it up anymore! I got about 3 hours of sleep last night and have a headache. I'm just feeling like a wave hit me between these results, my upcoming exchange, meeting with no, Pre op for hysterectomy and hysterectomy I've had enough!!! I feel like every time I turn around its something! Then I need to deal w bills not getting paid, fighting kids, a husband that tells me to just stop thinking about it all.... I'm going to lose my flipping mind!!! I really think I am

  • bc101
    bc101 Member Posts: 923
    edited May 2014

    Beverly - back when I found out about my positive node, like you, I really thought I would go crazy. I the RN I spoke with suggested I go see a movie. I'm like, WTH, really? But seriously, it helps to take your mind off stuff. The lighter, the better - old movies, chick flicks, even comedies. Any kind of distraction is good. Eventually I learned how to deal with the panicky feeling, but I never did get over the fear - and lately have been thinking a lot about cancer .... mostly at night when I cant' sleep. I lay awake going over each medical encounter and scenario in my mind. Ick. Not good, I know. Maybe it's because I have so much pain right now in my shoulder. It's a constant reminder of what I've been through. Been working on it, but it's not resolving quickly. 

    Anyway... my advice is to Stay off Dr. Goggle!! If you can learn to meditate at this point, that would be ideal. I should practice what I preach. My goal is to try to do more exercise every day and take some classes in meditation. I hope you hear soon!

    Eve - glad you finally heard from you MO. What's next? 

    Ann - love the pic of you and your daughter :)

    SSheehan54  - Welcome to our thread! We all support each other here and whatever you want to post - like Anne said - it's all good.

    My DH and I had a wonderful 4 day weekend at the lake. Although it rained a lot, yesterday was absolutely gorgeous. This week and next weekend is supposed to be in the upper 70s. FINALLY! The kind of weather we wait all winter for. If it was like this all the time, I swear I wouldn't need antidepressants and a counselor to feel better, lol!!

  • Mommyathome
    Mommyathome Member Posts: 876
    edited May 2014

    Thanks Mary! Yeah I don't do dr google lol. But I still need to limit my Internet use. It just freaks me out and I have no idea what I'm looking at. I'll just wait for dr to call me back and go from there. I really wish there was a switch on my brain that I could turn off!! I'm going to try to nap then get up and go for a walk or putter around the yard. It's sunny and in 70s today. I need to get out of the house. Two of my girls have a softball game tonight so that'll be good. Thanks for the support! It's like a roller coaster. Sometimes I'm like ok, I was diagnosed w cancer but they got it all in BMx and I'm ok. Then like minutes later it's like I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER!!!! WHAT IF IT COMES BACK?!?! And I'm nervous they'll find ovarian during hysterectomy. I just want it done! I need to move on!!

  • bc101
    bc101 Member Posts: 923
    edited May 2014

    Sounds good. I"m going outside now, too. Get some sunshine and fresh air. Do not let cancer spoil your day!!! That's how you fight cancer! We are awesome January Surgery Sisters!

  • ClaireFraser
    ClaireFraser Member Posts: 47
    edited May 2014

    I'm just checking in... I think of you all often, wonder how you're doing.  I've been absent, life is so busy right now.  I am finally getting rid of this tissue expander, yeah.  My implant exchange surgery is set for June 17.  I had a UMX on my left boob, so the right is going to get a bit of a lift and an implant, too.  I'm meeting with my PS next Thursday, so we'll work out the details on my implants.  I'lll be a full C on both sides and perky.  Once I've fully healed, I may go with Dr. Vinny and get the 3D nipple tattoo.  We'll see.

    Blessings to you all!

    Claire Smile

  • anneb1149
    anneb1149 Member Posts: 821
    edited May 2014

    Good morning

    I totally agree Eve with wanting to get rid of as many risk factors as possible. The first time I met with BS, while still reeling from DX, and he said mastectomy, I asked for double. No one has mentioned hysterectomy yet, I think because my cancer was HER2+, not hormonal, but if they had I would have gone for it. I have no idea what the future holds, but I can walk into it knowing I did everything within my power to prevent a reoccurrence.

    Anne

  • bc101
    bc101 Member Posts: 923
    edited May 2014

    Hi Claire - that's awesome you have your exchange date and you're looking forward to nips with Vinnie, lol! I may do tattoos, too :). Wish we had a calendar feature for everyone's surgery dates.

    Keep in touch!

  • mmtagirl
    mmtagirl Member Posts: 325
    edited December 2017

    my surgery date for exchange got moved out yesterday.  Found out that following my last round of AC in June I will need 12 weekly infusions of taxol. Puts me into late September and need 4-6 weeks after chemo before the exchange.  I will be listening to you girls as you join the rest in squishy land.  My TEs don't bother me much any more and I like the way I look in clothes.  Doesn't do much for the mojo department but what does these days?

    Beverly, you have so much going on so very fast no wonder you are anxious.  It's okay to take a deep breathe like Mary mentioned.  Enjoy the softball games, talk about the weather, American idol, memorial weekend BBQ plans.  It really helps.  We are all pulling for you!

  • Mommyathome
    Mommyathome Member Posts: 876
    edited May 2014

    Thanks Mmtagirl! I can feel the love here even when at times I don't from those closer to me. Everyone thinks because you look ok that you're ok physically and emotionally. They think I should be grateful that it "was only DCIS". I'm still going through a lot of changes physically and emotionally and trying to find my new normal. The fact that I'm not the same as I was before is hard for me to handle. I feel like I've lost that innocence of being healthy and knowing what tomorrow brings. Now, now I have no idea and that scares the crap out of me. 

  • bc101
    bc101 Member Posts: 923
    edited May 2014

    Beverly - that's why I love this forum. Same here for what you said. Whenever I've voiced that fear to a counselor, I get "But none of us know's what tomorrow will bring...I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and die." I suppose that's true, but I bet you any amount of money that healthy people are NOT tossing and turning at night, thinking about the BUS!!!! And they most certainly aren't facing the kind of decisions we are staring down, and walking around with side effects of treatments we're going through or have done. So, it's not the same! Those who haven't had breast cancer will never understand that. 

  • girlstrong
    girlstrong Member Posts: 299
    edited May 2014

    Hi gals...I've been reading the posts and can't help but chime in to say that I understand . Beverly, I truly think that each and every one of us who has gone through cancer is sometimes hit with the "what the hell just happened" moment ; and then if you start to think too long.... The worry and what if 's escalate. I've been there. Glad to say that those thoughts are getting less but they are still " there". I had to hold my tongue today ..I was talking to a couple of physicians ( I am not their patient and they know nothing of my cancer). Long story short is that one of the docs started talking about his sister n law and how she died 5 months ago from "an awful case of cancer that took her in 2 years" and how she suffered so much and was only 49.....then the other doctor chimed in on how once someone is diagnosed with cancer there is a stigma that goes along with it ?!?!? And that most people don't handle it well.. Only the rare few who have a supportive spouse ?!?!?  I didn't say anything. But when I got back in my car I was so proud of myself that I didn't break down and cry. A few months ago that might have been the case; I would have internalized way too much. This time, I was stronger. I work n healthcare and often hear conversations or am in meetings where " cancer" becomes the topic and then it turns into hospice snd stage IV talk.... Since many don't know my history I sit there, I pray for strength, and I wonder if they could see my scars , my port, my short hair under my wig then they might realize that there is another side to cancer. The side that has people healing and moving on with life. 

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited May 2014

    smile.......and waving

    completely agree ladies, my wonderful ladies.

    The amazing thing for me in this crappy pathway (sorry I hate the word journey) is those of you that are willing to talk about your fears and at the same time find something positive about this crap called cancer.

    I think for the most part I have put the cancer component away...we'll see though once I get to talk to the MO.

     I do feel the anxiety thing and take Ativan on occasion to help me sleep.

    I have a pearl that I keep in my wallet......it is the same size, 1cm, as my largest tumor...out of 6 tumors. That pearl reminds me of how small that tumor was....and helps me not feel overwhelmed by the cancer itself.

    Quite frankly, the thought that keeps me from getting morose about BC is I haven't heard..."you have 12 months left" my husband heard that...no if ands or buts...you are going to die...we can't do anything for you...bam! period!

    I don't know what to say about the doctors. My husbands doc was a moron, his nuero=surgeon was a  cold scientist type......his nuero oncologist was amazing, my breast surgeon and the women in the office were the absolute best...EVER.

    I don't trust anyone to know everything about my best interests when it comes to my health so yes...I DR Google and research everything ad nauseam.... if I hadn't I'd be sitting here with 6 invasive tumors growing away in my breast.

    I have to believe that the mastectomies rid my body of cancer. I am grateful every moment that the cancer was caught early...but do you believe? can you accept that I would have rather had chemo and rads to feel that I had done everything I could have to get rid of this crap?...you betcha ya!! 

    not an option for me....K?

    The whole thing from beginning to end sucks. Some days I feel like crying also...and I do...But it is more about wanting more time with my kids....and missing them ...because time has become more precious.  I cry for lost time.....But I am older than all of you...so that is probably natural and I would cry anyway...sheesh....

    however, no one has told me I am going to die....I'm shooting for 90......

    I have to go...it is late and I am rambling...

    ROCK ON

    I do every weekend......I dance in my living room .....

    love and hugs

    Eve

     

     


     

  • Dtkd
    Dtkd Member Posts: 422
    edited May 2014


    Well put Eve, and as usual, you are able to put into words what we are all thinking in such a raw, open and honest way. 

    Ann - I'm sorry you have to put off your exchange, but I'm glad you are doing well with your TE's.  I'll admit, I miss the height I had with them, even if they were uncomfortable.  I am really hoping that the next surgery is the last, and that I'll finally have some foobs I'm proud to put under a tank top. :)  Seeing the PS next week, so maybe we'll schedule something in August.

    My fears, which I generally keep to myself include reoccurrence, the "stigma" associated with BC, osteoporosis/continued joint pain, and ending up alone and living with 50 cats because of it.  Okay, maybe not the 50 cats, but you get my drift.  It keeps me up way too late each night...silly, the idea that if I just don't go to bed, I feel less alone.  I'm sure that all my family and friends would swear I'm doing really well.  I think Laurie said that if we just keep saying we are doing great, eventually, it will be true.  I guess I am by in my family/friends' eyes, but let's face it, although they are very nice to me, most of them are even more tired of the BC thing than I am, and I can tell they are sometimes phoning it in, and I don't want to frustrate them with complaints and fears that will only make them feel worse for me than they already do. 

    So Beverly, I say go to the movies every day if it gets you through.  I did that on my weekends when I didn't have my son and was alone before the BMX.  I found that I love going alone and escaping into the movie...just don't pick anything that will make you cry, because that can backfire LOL.  I always like to go with action.  Also, when you start feeling anxious, maybe take a walk.  It helps.

    Silver Linings today...my son telling me he loved me each and every time I saw him, and discovering that my Ninja makes awesome adult beverages as well as smoothies!

    Sweet dreams all...

    Diane.

  • bc101
    bc101 Member Posts: 923
    edited May 2014

    Eve  - I agree. I find that time is very precious to me now and I try really hard not to waste it living in fear. It's hard though. I know I have to work on that. Every time I catch myself saying something negative (which is fear in disguise) about my cancer, I try to stop and use positive self talk instead. 

    Ok - here's something: DH has an aunt who had breast cancer and she turned 99 this spring :)

    Marissa - sometimes when I'm talking to really insensitive folks and they say something stupid like my SIL often does, I just get MAD and think to myself...I'm going to show them!!! I'm going to outlive them all!

  • mmtagirl
    mmtagirl Member Posts: 325
    edited December 2017

    Mary, my maternal grandmother had 2 primary breast cancers and lived a very active life to 95. My mother has had 2 primary and recurrance, is on oral chemo for life, walks, golfs, and stays active.  She just turned 74.  So i keep the faith that I, too.....it's the only way.  My mother tells me weekly with every change in plan or treatment that I must remain flexible and patient and the process will take a year.  She is my expert as I follow her path.  I am still working on the patience part.

    I really don't focus on the cancer coming back but I do dwell on the toll my body is taking now.  I loved the last two sentences in girl strong's post. My sentiments exactly.

  • bc101
    bc101 Member Posts: 923
    edited May 2014

    Ann - you are so lucky to have your mother in your corner. So nice you have each other to lean on in this battle. Keep fighting, girls!

    I had a short session with a PT yesterday and she did some deep tissue massage that seemed to help. I'm wondering if scar tissue and cording is part of the problem with moving my shoulder. I'm going to try doing some gentle massage myself. Also trying very hard to take it easy to give the tendons a rest. They said I overdid it on the exercises and my other PT gave me weights when he shouldn't have. Soooo....we'll see how this "resting" goes, but I've got too much yardwork and gardening to do! I hate having my yard look weedy and overgrown, and there's no way I can just leave it. They say no heavy lifting, pushing, pulling. Huh?What about hauling laundry, groceries, cat litter, pushing the mop around the floor, carting wheelbarrows of plants, or loading and unloading the truck for weekend trips! Those 2 lb. weights are nothing compared to what I do on a daily basis. Oh well...

    We're heading up north for the long weekend. DH's brother is coming up to help put in the boat lifts and install a window in the cabin. Yay!!!!!! We have some major projects we've been putting off for years. Siding, windows, electric, and remodeling the interior of our cabin. Not me - I don't do any of that stuff!! Eve, I'm slooooowly learning how to be a princess and ask the big strong men to help. Aren't you proud of me?

    I hope everyone has a safe and memorable Memorial Day weekend. Don't forget to pack your 30 SPF sunscreen!

    Luv you all!

  • levassel
    levassel Member Posts: 254
    edited May 2014

    I never stayed up at night thinking I'd get hit by a bus!  My Councellor said the same about anyone not knowing their future.  But BC took my innocence away for sure.

    I'm pretty sure my DH thinks I'm a hypochondriac now!  LOL

    LAURIE

  • levassel
    levassel Member Posts: 254
    edited May 2014

    Diane.  I'm still telling most everyone that I'm good....I'm great.   Whatever makes them happy.  I have a couple of people I share my truths with.   My boyfriend for sure....cause since I've been back to work I'm a basket case....tired ALL the time.   Crying for nothing....anxiety attacks.   

    I'm really hoping that's not my new me.

    I stopped seeing my Councellor....not much help!

    Laurie

  • Dtkd
    Dtkd Member Posts: 422
    edited May 2014

    Laurie - I'm sure it isn't the new you.  Just the fact that you recognize this isn't who you should be tells me this is temporary.  We all had our feet knocked out from under us.  I remember when we were waiting for the results of my biopsy that my son said, "don't worry Mom, you body wouldn't do that to you".  Sadly, he was wrong.  All of us have to find a way to cope with what happened and it isn't going to get better overnight...sadly.  Hang in there.  I truly believe that things will look different in the coming months as we get stronger.

    Ann - I got the same advice from the nurse practitioner who found my tumor and saved my life...it takes a full year.  I thought, NO WAY, but it's already been 6 months and I have 4-5 more before I'm completely done with reconstruction/tatooing, not counting the toll it's taking on my psyche.  I can see now that you come from a long line of warrior women.  I'm sorry that you have all had to fight this battle, but how wonderful that you have the support of someone who gets this. :)

    Eve - I'll be dancing in my living room too!

    TGIF ladies!!  WooHoo, 3 day weekend!

    Diane.

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited May 2014

    Ditto to what Diane said,Laurie.  This is not our new normal....no way. I think we are mourning for the loss of our innocence that you mentioned. I believe there will come a time when we let go of the loss. Embrace being wiser as a way to feel less intimidated by the past and more intrigued by the future...and dance in the present. That's my goal anyway...and I'm sticking to it. lol

    Mary, I have a SIL that I am frequently amazed at how insensitive she can be....more like beeeatchy. And she is a freaking chaplin...holy moly...that woman irritates the ever living crap outta me...I try to not spend too much time with her. Same for other people that are toxic...they have all been booted from my life.

    Like my neighbor....she was complaing to me the other day about how slow the secretary is at our condo office. Said secretary is a friend of mine....All I said was "Well, you do know she has Parkinson's don't you?" The look on her face was priceless. I still have shoulder issues also...I guess I need to rest a little more also. I took down the range hood yesterday and painted it to match my newly painted cabinets. Took forever to get the dang thing back up....so I am sore today.  Guess I'll play princess also this weekend. take care and enjoy the cabin.

    Ann what a fabulous legacy of strong women in your family. Thank you for sharing grandmom and mom. Their stories are truly inspiring, and most especially so is yours.

    K....I am having a Memorial Day get together at my house tomorrow.

    menu:

    smoked ribs....DH makes some lip smacking ribs

    home made baked beans... they are simmering on the stove as we speak

    corn on the cobb grilled in their husks after having been rubbed in butter and then finished on the grill to brown them

    sweet potatoes grilled with a cumin, red pepper, brown sugar and butter rub

    collard greens simmered forever with a ham hock

    salad...baby spinach, baby chard, baby kale... I may make a dressing....we'll see

    BFF is bringing her HUGE fruit salad

    some of that fruit salad is going into a fruit smoothie accented with vodka....whoo hoo

    Hungry?

    You all are invited....... I truly wish you could all be here.

    I think we make quite an awesome team.

    peace ladies

    hugs

    Eve

     

     

     

     

     

  • bc101
    bc101 Member Posts: 923
    edited May 2014

    Eve - it's going to be hard avoiding the in-laws. One bought a cabin 2 doors down from us and the other SIL just bought one across the lake. Oh well, at least we got them OUT of our cabin and are no longer camping on our lot, lol! They are super excited to have their own places on the lake. So, we'll see...I've decided the best way to deal with toxic comments and people is to just get up an leave. Because if I say something, then I'm the bitch. I'm sure you know how that goes.

    Your spread sounds AWESOME!!!! Wish we could be there. I hate to cook but I LOVE to eat!!SillyHeart 

    Speaking of cooking, has anyone ever used cast iron pans? I dug some out of mom's closet the other day and thought I'd try using them. I got rid of all my non-stick pans because I am concerned about the chemicals or whatever they use to get them that way. Now I'm only using Revere Ware or Pyrex for cooking. Don't know what we're having yet - maybe BBQ chicken, baked beans, corn on the cob, and of course a great salad. 

    ~M

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited May 2014

    mary...lol.....I stopped worrying about being the bitch a few years ago. My DH kept warning me about his sister...I always give people the benefit of the doubt. I tried to give all her complaint credence. it wasn't until I was looking at all the expenses with the biopsy...that I finally went off on her....oh my goodness...so not like me....oh well it felt good to be honest for a change. Now I don't have to listen to her drone on about her awful life. By the way she is 58 and still lives at home...uggg!but can be full of dvice for the rest of us....

     

    Anyway...cast iron pans..soooo jealous, They are very, very expensive. I too have chucked everything with a non-stick coating. I have a new set of Wolfgang Puck's pots and pans...stainless steel and they are the bomb!

    I think you have to "season" cast iron....I'd google it...you rub cooking oil into the pans..and????

    http://m.wikihow.com/Season-Cast-Iron-Cookware there ya go.

    all I know is I would love to own one to make corn bread in.....yum. My dutch oven is cast iron with a ceramic coating...the baked beans are in it right now in the oven....smelling good.

    I'll google for you....

    Eve

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited May 2014

    <script type='text/javascript' src='http://api.worldnow.com/feed/v3.0/widgets/99071?alt=js&contextaffiliate=1104'></script&gt;

  • bc101
    bc101 Member Posts: 923
    edited May 2014

    Thanks, Eve! I'll give it a whirl and let you know how it turns out! :)

  • lighthouselady
    lighthouselady Member Posts: 248
    edited May 2014

    Hey ladies.  Been a while....softball and work and kids and radiation and everything else.  I've been reading nearly every day but just haven't taken the time to sit down and write a post.

    I'm a radiation graduate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I had my last of 33 treatments yesterday.  Woohoo!  No more active treatment for me.  A couple surgeries later this year and Tamoxifen, but that's it.  Feels so good!!!  

    My mom arrived yesterday for her annual May visit.  She comes every year for my daughter's birthday.  So she was able to come to my last treatment, and my hubby surprised me and showed up too.  Love that man!    We went to Olive Garden afterward for celebratory lunch.  This weekend my daughter has a softball tournament (first game was tonight and they won AND my girl hit a home run!!).  Next week is the last week of school, my son's band concert and academic awards ceremony, daughter's birthday party and softball team end of season party.  Yikes.  Good thing I'm finished with rads - who has time for appointments?!?!??!

    Speaking of appointments.... I may be looking for a new MO. We have to wait forever every time I see my med oncologist.  The other day we were there for three hours - all for a five minute "Oh, you're doing well, see you in six weeks".  And the man has no clue what's going on with me.  I have to remind him of stuff every time.  He said, "Now you have your implants, right?"  Uh, no.  I have expanders... and will for another six months.  Then he says, "Well, you're done with radiation so that's good" and I still had two treatments to go.  Hello!  You have way too many patients if you don't even know where I am at in MY treatment.  I would really love to find a female oncologist but there are only two here in town and one of them is at the same facility.  How awkward would that be?  I don't know what to do.  I'm not sure at this point who I will follow up the most with from here on out... if it's the MO, then I will be looking for a new one.

    Anyway, just wanted to pop in and say hi.  Even though I don't post a lot, I check in every day and think of my surgery sisters often!  {{{hugs}}} to all!

    Here's me and my mom after my last radiation:

    image

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited May 2014

    Michelle

    I only have a second....... you look fabulous and your smile is radient...I can feel the warmth.

    ttyl

    eve

  • Dtkd
    Dtkd Member Posts: 422
    edited May 2014

    Whoo Hoo Michelle!!!!!  I'm so happy for you!  You and your mom look so happy.  Your hair is CUTE! 

    I'm with you 86 that MO.  You deserve a doctor that at least reads your chart....hell, you deserve a rockstar, and I hope you find one soon.  It would be really nice if you would get some rest, but I'm sure you won't, LOL. 

    Anyway, fantastic that you are done with rads!

    Love and hugs,

    Diane.

  • bc101
    bc101 Member Posts: 923
    edited May 2014

    Michelle - congratulations on finishing rads!!!!! And that is so awesome you got to watch your daughter hit a home run!! Love the pic of you and your mom. Smile Have fun watching your son's award ceremony!

    I sure hope you can find a new MO. Wow! There's no excuse for that in these days of computers and online records. Don't you wish you could just smack him upside the head? Sheesh!

    Well, I'm packing my bags and heading up north. This weekend I will raise my glass to you and to all of us. Here's to dancing in the living room, hitting home runs, adjusting our tiaras, finding our new normal and enjoying life after cancer. Cheers!

    image

  • Mommyathome
    Mommyathome Member Posts: 876
    edited May 2014

    Bc101,

    You gave me goosebumps!!! Cheers my friend!

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