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January 2014 Surgery Sisters

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Comments

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited May 2014


    BRAVO!

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited May 2014

    You know Beverly,

    I think I'd rather teach kindergarteners than 6th graders. They seem so much sweeter. maybe it will be less stressful for you right now.

    Your exchange is coming up...wow! I bet you can't wait to get rid of the expanders and check off one more thing off your list.

    You go girl.

    hugs eve

  • Mommyathome
    Mommyathome Member Posts: 876
    edited May 2014

    Thanks eve! Ya lets get these babies out so I can move on!! Got lots to do! I'm excited about kindergarten just anxious because now I have to set up a new room after my hysterectomy.... Hope I heal quickly!!!

  • levassel
    levassel Member Posts: 254
    edited May 2014

    Linda...I understand completely how you feel.  It's very difficult to meet everyone else's expectations on where you should be in you recovery.  Emotionally and physically.  I returned to work May 1 after being off for 7 months.  And I failed.  Called in sick 4 days last week.  I was physically drained and ended up with a bad head cold.  My boyfriend has tried his best...but even he wants the old me back. I try...I really do.  I say I'm great to people when they ask....but I'm not.  I'm tired...I'm sore....and I'm sad.  I just hope everyday that it will be better tomorrow.  And there IS a tomorrow. 

    Laurie

  • Dtkd
    Dtkd Member Posts: 422
    edited May 2014

    Mary and Eve - Thank you for sharing your stories.  I think you are both incredible women.  Normal, I have no idea what that means, but I do know that pulling yourselves out of depression shows how strong you are.

    I was clinically depressed when I miscarried 2 years before my son was born.  I was 40 and to top it off, they did a bunch of fertility tests all of which I failed.  I had never had any heath issues and couldn't accept that I couldn't  have a child, especially since I had turned down an offer from my boss to put me through law school, thinking I didn't want to be working like a maniac, and wanted to start a family.  We went through fertility treatments, to no avail.  I wanted to die...literally, and the only thing stopping me was not wanting to hurt my stepdaughters and my mother.  It took me the better part of a year to dig myself out with the help of a very good counselor.  I declined the meds, against everyone's advise, because I still wanted to get pregnant..  I did finally accept that I didn't have any control over things.  I decided to take a more challenging job with long hours and great pay...but on my 3rd day of work, realized my period was late.  Yep, pregnant with my son at 42.  I stayed married 2 more years, during which I had appendicitis, an 8 cm benign liver tumor/gall bladder removed (11 days in the hospital), and cycstocele/rectocele and bladder sling to correct the damage from childbirth.  As you all know, you find out who you married when your health goes.  I remember vividly that he was angry that I couldn't make woopie for 6 weeks after my "girlie" repairs, and blaming me. Of course there wasn't anything I could do.  My unhappiness was affecting my son and my health...I was 60 lbs overweight and his father was starting to take his anger out on my son.  So, I decided to leave, with a 2 year old and a full time job. Yes, it was hard.  I worked and spent time with my son for the next 2 years...no dating or any social life.  I did take the weight immediately.  I've never looked back or regretted my decision, because it turns out that my ex is a pretty good part-time father, and we get alone fine.  So normal...not really in my wheelhouse either.  I do think that in some ways, the miscarriage prepared me for BC, because I had already learned that we have no control over what happens to us...just how we deal with it.

    I think we are all going to have good and bad days.  Yesterday was bad.  I have been taking photos of my progress all along, not being sure what to do with them, but thinking maybe I'll post them on the photos site when everything is done, to help others.  Anyway, my practice was to take them with my phone, email the photo to myself, put the email in a private folder, and delete the photo.  I did this so that no one would inadvertently see them on my phone.  So I opened one of the photos, post exchange on my new phone to show my PS on Tuesday.  I closed the email and went on with my week.  Last night, my son asked to see a photo I had taken.  I clicked on my albums, and there on the screen was my foob photo!  He saw it before I did and yelled  "gross!".  I was horrified.  I told him I was so sorry, and that I realized he couldn't un-see it.  I blurted out that they won't always look like that and he blurted, "jeez, you have no freakin nipples!"  Of course, the minute he said it he buried his face in my shoulder (we were sitting in the car outside the TKD studio) and said over and over, "I'm sorry Mom, I shouldn't have said that".  With tears running down my cheeks, I  just held him and told him it was okay and how sorry I was.  I had no idea that just opening a photo meant it saved to my albums, and have been sooo careful to make sure I'm always covered at home.  I never wanted him to carry the images I see in the mirror with him..  Later after class, we talked about it and I told him what was planned...the fat grafting and nipple reconstruction and tattoos, trying to give him a better mental vision to replace what he saw.  We made peace, and even at 11 years old, he does seem to understand what I'm going though, and what I gave up to fight this.  I guess I should be glad that he didn't see the horrible hematoma photos I took post BMX before the TE's...that would have given him nightmares. 

    Today is a new day, and we had a fantastic TKD class this morning and will be getting out soon, running errands, getting his haircut, maybe a mani/pedi for me, and hopefully enjoying the sunshine.  I'll be looking for a silver lining...since when things go to crap...it's almost always there.

    Love and hugs,

    Diane.

     

     


     

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited June 2014


    All will be well, Diane

    Life always shows us the worst of things, in more ways than one. David, seeing that photo gave him a better understanding of what you are feeling. On the other hand he sees you getting ready for your black belt testing and I know he is so proud of you.

    So then we get to see the best also.

     I have had regrets about divorcing my boys dad when my youngest was 18 months old....and then when he was 10, my older son wanted to go live with his dad. I let them go...oh my, the most difficult thing ever in my life. I have felt so horrible for letting my little Steven go . But we have talked about it and he just looks at me like I am nuts for worrying so much about it. He just accepts his life as it is. My name on here...momaton.....is his nickname for me, and when he calls it is in the evening for him, and he says nitey nite    what we always said when he was little      my older son calls me mumsie     Love my kids.

    So no worries about David. he's a good boy, I know, because you are his mom, Diane.

    Hope you had an awesome day today.

    My pooch and I are wiped out after our 5K.  We had to get up at 7am...we never get up that early, yes I am spoiled rotten.  Hey when I was working I had to get up at 2am or 3am so I am languishing now. It was a lovely morning and a good walk.

    hope everyone is well

    be easy on yourselves....

    Eve

     

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited June 2014

    Mary and Linda(?),

    you all have mentioned about shoulder/rotator cuff pain on the effected side.

    I have that too. I did injure my shoulder many years ago, but this is surprising....very painful.

    do you think it could be from the sentinel node biopsy/ removal?

    Just curious if you think there is a connection.

    love

    Eve

     

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited June 2014

    laurie,

    didn't mean to forget you...I feel so sad for you. I am pretty sure I am almost  old enough to be your mom.

    If I were close enough I would sit you in my lap and rock you. I'd hold you until the tears fall and keep holding you until there were no more tears.

    love you my friend

     

  • lindacam
    lindacam Member Posts: 97
    edited June 2014

    Pulled weeds for 5 hours today.  Felt good to get that done.  Will post pics of my gardens, they are amazing.  I did not plant them, but try to maintain them.

    Eve my rotator cuff is from the node dissection abit i think.  My massage guy says it is from having the infection in my breast for 5 weeks as i could not move the arm much.  My pec is hard as a rock and the rotator cuff happened as the arm is always working against the pec.

    Linda

  • lindacam
    lindacam Member Posts: 97
    edited June 2014

    Forgot to say thanks everyone for your kind words.  Nobody gets cancer until they"get cancer"

    As much as it is physical the emotional adjustments are harder.  Being done treatment is good but our bodies are still healing.  I think sometimes my mind is lagging behind.  Sometimes I really cant believe what all is happened in the last year.  I am proud of my strength!  

    Linda

  • Dtkd
    Dtkd Member Posts: 422
    edited June 2014


    Linda - you should be proud of your strength, we all should.  Maybe nobody else really get this, but we all do.  When you are a strong person, they all expect that you will just breeze through it, but it isn't that simple.  I do know that it will get better, but not on anyone else's schedule.  We just have to do our best.

    Eve - thank you.  As usual, you brought some Florida sunshine into my day. 

    Laurie - I'm with Eve...and would love to give you a big long hug.  We are all here for you with our virtual hugs.  I'm thinking you should have a special tiara tonight.

    image

     

  • lindacam
    lindacam Member Posts: 97
    edited June 2014

    Here us part of my garden

    image

    image

    image

  • lindacam
    lindacam Member Posts: 97
    edited June 2014

    This is what my son made me for my birthday

    image

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited June 2014


    wow and wow

    beeeeutiful linda.

  • lindacam
    lindacam Member Posts: 97
    edited June 2014

    That is just the front yard.  I have 2 acres.  There is a garden area with 22 raised beds and a greenhouse, an orchard.  Amazing property

  • Dtkd
    Dtkd Member Posts: 422
    edited June 2014

    Gorgeous!!! Looks like perfect therapy.

  • lindacam
    lindacam Member Posts: 97
    edited June 2014

    I never gardened until I bought this place 4 years ago, steep learning curve!

  • mmtagirl
    mmtagirl Member Posts: 325
    edited December 2017

    your gardens are beautiful, Linda. 

  • girlstrong
    girlstrong Member Posts: 299
    edited June 2014

    Oh Linda...those pics are gorgeous.  I would love to be there and take a pic so I could frame and put in my house for all those gloomy and snowy Michigan days!!  Enjoy...

  • levassel
    levassel Member Posts: 254
    edited June 2014

    Wow Linda that's a lot of gardens!  They look beautiful.

    Thanks for all the support and understanding.  I went back to work Friday morning....and I'm here today.  But I'll only do half days again until I have the surgery to remove my ports....July 4!  I'll be glad to have them gone!  

    It would be so nice if we really could meet.

    Laurie 

  • bc101
    bc101 Member Posts: 923
    edited June 2014

    Wow, Linda - looks like paradise! Can I come and live in the shed? I'm kind of out of shape, but I"m sure I could pull a few weeds, deadhead, or something, lol! Gardening is wonderful therapy although it is a lot of work and just can't do as much as I used to. You sound like you have a lot of energy, shoulder pain or no. 

    Eve - yes, I believe my shoulder pain is from the ALND although who knows. It just started up for no apparent reason. One PT said it's impingement although another said rotator cuff. As per my local PT I quit doing the weights that the PT at my cancer clinic gave me. Along with the pain I have limited range of motion. So I called my BS's office a few weeks ago and they set me up with a physical medicine doc and an xray. I canceled because I was afraid of getting an xray. I know, dumb reason...I  wanted to see if it would go away on it's own. The acute pain went away after resting it, but it's still there. I rescheduled the appt. because I want to know what this is and get a 3rd opinion from PM&R. It's getting better, but not completely. So, Friday I'm driving down to Rochester. I'm also seeing a PT at Mayo that day. Last weekend my wrist swelled up. I had a hard time reaching someone to ask what to do about it. I saw a local PT who did some massage and she told me to elevate it whenever I can. I think it was due to a slight sunburn - first time out this season and I turned a little pinkish, not really a burn, though. Apparently my skin is now super sensitive to the sun :(

    Ok, so now on Saturday I woke up with a strange swelling on my chest :( I waited out the weekend and left a call  in to my MO's office this morning.... 

    It's always something!Scared

  • bc101
    bc101 Member Posts: 923
    edited June 2014

    Eve - when is your MO appt? I'm sure that your shoulder pain is on your list of questions. Be sure to get a referral to PT if you can. Sometimes they can help in just one session like with myofascial release or massage if for example, you have adhesions or scar tissue causing pain and restricted movement. But as I"m sure you know, depending on what it is, it can take lots and lots of time. It's like with all this bc stuff - there's no easy answer. And you really do have to find a specialist who works with bc survivors.

    Here's a great video I found in my searching on the internet for stretches:

    http://breastcancerrehabilitation.com/StressReleas...

    Oh yeah, and to add insult to injury, I pulled a tiny little muscle in my back yesterday, so now will have to rest even more. GRRRRR! I have waaay too much to do this week - this is going to be hard (sigh)! Oh well, taking a deep breath...

    This might be a good week to research meditation and aromatherapy.

  • levassel
    levassel Member Posts: 254
    edited June 2014

    just a quick note....just saw my MO. Confirmed my aches in places that I've have previous injury was valid. I'M NOT AS CRAZY AS I THOUGHT. Yeah! If you have arthritis tamox will make that ache more.

    Laurie

  • levassel
    levassel Member Posts: 254
    edited June 2014

    They also hooked me up with a cancer councillor....this new doc was surprised I hadn't already been referred!  Oh we'll better late than never.  :)

    Laurie

  • Mommyathome
    Mommyathome Member Posts: 876
    edited June 2014

    I'm officially on the squishy side!!!! Pretty sore and very nauseous- but I'm here!! Surgery started at 745 and I was in recovery room about an hour and a half later and left hospital around 130 ish. 

  • bc101
    bc101 Member Posts: 923
    edited June 2014

    Whoohoo Beverly!!! Keep us posted how it goes for you! 

    Laurie - nice to know you're not crazy, isn't it? :D 

    BTW - I have a Google news alert for aromatase inhibitors and I just received a email that said Aromasin is now approved for premenopausal women. You might want to ask your doc about that. I've had really good luck with it - no aches and pains from that one as far as I know.

    http://consumer.healthday.com/cancer-information-5...

  • lindacam
    lindacam Member Posts: 97
    edited June 2014

    Hi.  More pics of my garden

    image

    image

    image

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited June 2014

    mary... thanks for the info. I do think my shoulder and neck pain is from the surgery. I don't see the MO until the 13th. Not really looking for much from her. I checked out the thread on pain and found some interesting stuff. I also still have pain in my boobs, and  it is fairly common. Just have to massage the girls to de-sensitize them. Hubby said he was ready for the task...lol

    Yay! Laurie, sounds as if you are getting a little closer to the support you deserve. keep us up to date.

    Beverly, one more box ticked! here's wishing you a speedy recovery.

    sorry ladies, really tired tonight and in pain...really pisses me off. Some days I am all good and ready to go out and find a job , go back to work and then....not so much. Oh well, there is tomorrow....yup laurie there is tomorrow.

    Love

    Eve

     

     

  • levassel
    levassel Member Posts: 254
    edited June 2014

    yeah Beverly!  Hope you are not too sore. Check in tomorrow.

    Eve...Try to get a good night sleep....maybe a perc/cocktail!  Heehee.  Hopefully your pain will be more manageable tomorrow.  Chin up chicky!  :)

    Yes I'm excited to talk to this councillor.  Would have been nice to have had that option when diagnosed.  Oh well....better late than never.

    Laurie

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited June 2014


    Linda

    love love LOVE your yard. Where do you live?

    Can I sit in your yard for a bit? here in central FL it is so difficult to keep things growing. It is either too hot, or the bugs eat everything.

    When I lived in Iowa, I just threw seeds in the ground and wa la had a fabulous vege garden and flower garden.

    Hubby and I are going to buy 20 + acres in a few years and go totally off the grid.

    Please keep sharing you beautiful garden.

    love Eve

     

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