Life does not end with a stage IV diagnosis (really!)
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I celebrate all who are doing well in Stage 4. This past Tuesday I had a pet scan that showed that my cancer had metastasized, bones liver and more. My oncologist said that without treatment I would have 6 months to a year to live, and he was being optimistic. He is suggesting Ibrance that might give me 2 or 3 years. I am 76 years old. I am on Anastrozole and suffer from the side effects. I also have severe depression and I am on Sertraline and Xanax. Neither seem to be working. On July 14th, I was diagnosed with shingles which has made everything worse. Before the 14th I was watching my grandkids and living life. Now I am always fatigued and have no appetite nor desire to do anything. This is not what I consider QOL. I am considering stopping all treatment. I am tired of the tests, anxiety, appointments and everything else that goes along with this diagnosis. I am just tired and needed to let this out.
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dean75, you've been hit with a lot in the past few months. I can understand why you are depressed and discouraged. It would help many of us on this forum to give advice if you could fill out the information on your specific diagnosis and treatment.
Everything seems very dark and scary when you are first diagnosed. Once you are over the effects of shingles and have a treatment plan in place, hopefully things will look brighter. You might also consider getting a second opinion. Please check back here and let us know how you are doing. You could also "talk" to people on the bone mets, liver mets and over 60 sites.
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dean75,
I am so sorry that you are facing so many challenges. I agree that a second opinion couldn’t hurt but understand that tx and side effects can be overwhelming. That being said, this may not be the best thread to address what you are going through as we mainly discuss the “normal” life and happenings despite being stage IV. Browse through the stage IV forum and you will find many threads to offer comfort and support! Take care.
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dean, I'm so sorry. I agree with exbrnxgrl to check out some of the other Stage IV forums. You may find more support from those who are in a similar situation.
(((hugs)))
Carol
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Dean: I am very sorry that you have shingles. It is hideous and painful. My DH had it tice before he got Shingrix. I had my two doses and hope it will save me the anguish. If it helps at all, the chemo for Stage IV is more gentle than the treatments for early stage. They are not out to cure but to slow it down and keep you as pain and symptom free as possible. My Taxol was nowhere near as bad as I have heard it was from early stagers. Yeah, I went bald and had a red face but I was never nauseous to the point of vomiting. In fact, I was barely queasy. Get a second opinion. I hope the best for you.
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Dean-Sorry to hear about your diagnosis and especially the shingles. But as this thread maintains-there is life after a Stage 4 diagnosis. I was diagnosed six years ago and am still on Ibrance/Letrozole so you never know your expiration date despite what the doctor may predict. Today life is good-I am sitting on a deck in Denali village in Alaska watching a river flow by. Had a wonderful tour today- saw caribou, moose, and grizzlies! I then took a hike alone in Denali Park-it was spectacular. They warn you not to hike alone but it was raining and no one else from my group wanted to go so I just kept singing so that I wouldn't surprise any bears. Life can be sweet, even with cancer. Hope you have better days.
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Dean, just chiming in here. When I met with the radiation oncologist, his nurse used the term "palliative radiation", and it freaked me out. But "palliative" is NOT the same as "hospice." Palliative is meant to treat the symptoms without a curative intent. As Chicagoan said, we never know our expiration date.
Chicagoan, your trip sounds heavenly - even with the hike alone in the rain, singing as you went. I'm afraid my singing would either drive the animals away or send out someone to shoot the poor animal in distress!
Carol
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I just came back from a two week vacation and barely thought about cancer at all. I don't know if it was the change in climate, being around family, or just getting away from my house but I felt like a normal human!! Now I'm back and I'm going house hunting today!
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Parakeetsrule, good for you! Keep us posted on what you find.
Chicagoan, your vacation does sound amazing! Alaska is on my "bucket list". Did you fly in or take a cruise?
ExBrnxgrl - your posts ALWAYS give me hope. I love to read posts from outliers.
I have a couple of trips coming up. Next weekend we will be in Manzanita, Oregon which is a wonderful beach community that we can drive to (5 hour drive) and we are staying with friends. I am heading to Palm Desert to help my parents with doctor appts (in the height of their heat but it's to see my parents so it doesn't matter) and the week of labor day we are heading to Cape Cod to spend a week with east coast friends.
Like all of y'all I plan around my own cancer appts, faslodex injections and quarterly scans but I am making the most of the rest of summer!
I have a big trip in August/Sept 2023 that we are planning now (Europe with friends).
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Chicagoan - I can't believe you're in Denali! We are going on a last minute cruise to Alaska, and we originally planned to start at Denali! Unfortunately, someone else got there first. So, I still get to go to Alaska, and after weeks of triple digit temps, I'm soooo ready!
At my last MO appt, my doc said scans were clear and my bloodwork is good enough, and that this is as good as it gets (in a positive way), so I'm going to do fun things while life is good.
ETA - Parakeetsrule, you are going all over the place! Enjoy your travels!
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Chicagoan and seeq,
I was skimming through the post and read Denali as denial 🤷🏻♀️
On a sad note, my father passed away in his sleep this evening. He was 94. He had severe dementia and was just a physical husk of the man I remember. Will be flying to the east coast for the funeral.
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exbrnxgrl-My condolences on the death of your father. I hope that the funeral will comfort you and your loved ones. May his memory be a blessing.
SeeQ-Hope you enjoy your cruise. Everything I've seen in Alaska has been amazing-I don't think it matters where you go-it's all just so incredible.
Parakeets-Hope your trips go well-glad you can help your parents.
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exbrnxgrl, I'm so sorry about your father.
Carol
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exbrnxgrl -
My condolences.
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I'm in a coffee shop people watching my husband is at home making dinner he is recovering from celuitices, we made love this morning very pleased with himself as he is in his late 60s 😂 we are going for a walk by the coast after dinner I'm working part time life does indeed go on. I say to my self worrying about the futuer robes today of its joy. I do alow myself to get upset at times but I put a limit on how long the pity party lasts.
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My condolences Caryn.
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Caryn sorry to hear about your dad I only saw your post now, my mother died just before my original diagnoices I was kinda glad it happened like that she would have worried about me.
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Caryn: My condolences on the loss of your dad. It was a blessing to go in his sleep. It is so sad to lose a person you knew and loved before they actually pass. May your memories of him sustain you
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Caryn, I'm so sorry about the loss of your father. Sending you love and support. ❤️
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Caryn, so sorry to hear of your father's passing. You have my condolences.
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Thank you everyone. I really appreciate your sympathy and kindness, The funeral is Wednesday and I will be flying to NJ on Tuesday. My dad’s dementia was severe though he had no major physical ailments. My emotions are all over the place but ultimately I am just grateful he didn’t suffer.
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Caryn,
Thinking of you,
Tina
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exbrnxgirl, May your father's memory be a blessing.
I have a very strong memory of my father lifting up my preschool age daughter to look in the casket at my grandmother's funeral 20 years ago. He said from one generation to the next, life continues. (She still remembers too, but in a bit more terrified way)
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Hi everyone, here for pocket duty armed with Timtams for all who need it. Really sad to hear about Olivia Newton John, she was a big advocate for cancer down here and did a lot for Aussie women and people with all types of cancer with her wellness centre in Victoria.
Mara good to hear that Tigger is on the mend. I've just been resting at home since Patty went home,, it was great to have her here but exhausting. Mel, I hope your tummy continues to settle and you can get back to eating properly again. Wishing you all the best week ahead and strength to everyone for whatever this shitshow cancer throws at us.
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Thank you all again. The funeral as well as the few days I spent in the NY/NJ area were exhausting but ultimately cathartic. I am still sitting shiva, the formal Jewish mourning period, so am taking it easy now that I’m home.
The head of HR for my former school district called me this morning (Yes, on a Sunday). They are short one third grade teacher and wanted to know if I could start the school year until they could hire someone. My answer? No! School starts on Wednesday and I do not fancy having to set up a classroom in just two days, however I said I was ready for more typical sub assignments. Back to the rhythms of the school year even if one is retired!
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exbrnxgrl-I'm glad that the funeral was healing for you and hope you continue to find peace as your mourn. Good for you for setting boundaries with your old school! It is a really good example of saying yes to what you are willing to do and no to what you won't.
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exbrnxgrl -
You deserve to take it easy. You've been through a very trying time.
I'm so proud that you said "No" to the school. It is sometimes difficult to let go of our past patterns, especially when it comes to our past jobs. Right now, you need to concentrate on your healing both emotionally and physically.
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Hey, hey, hey, waving at everybody!!! Arrived in Bilbao yesterday, its a bit reminiscent of San Francisco with the museum (Guggenheim), modern art, foodie culture, an exciting city! It's also Basque festival week (Semana Grande) so fireworks over the river every night and stuff going on all over the place- from here we go to Granada (Alhambra, Hammam) and then Barcelona (Sagrada Familia, Gaudi, Dali museum in Figueres)- a quick trip but so lucky to get it in Covid times!!! And they didn't evan cancel a flight OR lose our luggage!!!
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That sounds great Cure-ious. Enjoy your trip!
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dean75: Haven't seen a post from you for awhile. Let us know how you are doing!
cure-ious: Suffering from envy. I bet you are having a fabulous time. Post photos when you get back.
exbrnxgrl: Yes to saying no!!! Go back on your own terms and enjoy retirement.
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