Life does not end with a stage IV diagnosis (really!)
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Lvin,
I am sure most people here understand and have had similar feelings, I know I have. I see you were diagnosed a month after me. I also can go to very dark places and become consumed with fear. I have found books by Greg Anderson to help me when I feel like that. They tend to help restore a sense of hope in me. He was told he had 30 days left to live and that was about 30 years ago. Is there a support group in your area? Or any workshops? How about a therapist? I also agree with looking into a antidepressant. Please know you are not alone. Your feelings make total sense and you deserve support and kindness!
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singlemom1:
I JUST finished Greg Anderson's book this morning called Cancer 50 Essential Things. His book provided me with a lot of insight into how to remain positive and do everything I can to thrive. I also just received yesterday his other book I had ordered called The Cancer Conqueror and am looking forward to reading it as well. I figure if people like Greg Anderson are still around after his awful prognosis, all of us can surely work toward better health as well.
LynAZ44:
We all go through what you are experiencing right now. It's frightening, and it seems like the fear will never go away. However, I believe that once the initial shock passes, you will then be able to take back control of your life and move on. I, like others, hope for several more years plus very hopeful for more new treatments that are coming down the road. As others have said, we are all here for each other and what a Godsend that is. Best wishes for better days ahead for you
Ann
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Livin, I too can plunge into the dark clouds but have come to realize it makes me feel worse and everyone around me especially my DH Like Divine advised I try and do everything and anything I can to distract my mind from the negative. One day at a time. Are you OK today? Then fpocus on today and what makes you happy. Many people go on for a long time with a host of terrible conditions and truthfully we just don't know. So why waste what time I do have being stressed and full of anxiety.....It will get better and easier. And on the days it just hits you like a lightning bolt, just let it happen, allow yourself to ride a wave of sorrow. Then shake it off and go on. I also think Divine has good advice about seeking out some medication that can help. Anything that makes you feel better is what it is all about. Consider us all a ray of sunshine for you!
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LivinAZ, if you haven't come across it yet, there's a thread here entitled Tips For Fighting The Dark Clouds that I highly recommend. There are some excellent tips and coping strategies shared there. Here's a link:
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/8/topics/...
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LivinAZ,
Yes the Tips for Fighting the Dark Clouds thread is a good one. We all have, most likely, experienced this to a certain extent. In lieu of family, staying busy is a great way to keep your mind off things. Meds are good too. This summer will be 5 years since my stage IV . Cancer may take my body, but I control my mind. That's my greatest weapon. I will keep living and enjoying until I can't, physically, but will cherish each moment until then.
We have a week off from school and I'm headed to Florida to visit my best friend, tomorrow. I'm walking out of my classroom without doing a darn thing so I can go home and pack at my leisure. Stage IV bc? Yes, I have it but I'm flipping it off every time I smile and live well.
Caryn
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Wow, I've never heard of Greg Anderson. I just looked up his books on Amazon, and these are exactly the type of books I seek out to read. I like to feed my mind a steady diet of hope and inspiration. That way, it is easier for my thoughts to bounce back if and when they stumble into a deep well of sadness and/or fear. I am putting some of Greg's books on my list to read. Thanks so much for the tip, single mom.
I just got four books from the library today, one is the best seller, "When Breath Becomes Air." Another, which I'm reading first, is "The End of Normal." Not about cancer at all. It's written by Bernie Madoff's daughter-in-law, Stephanie, married to Bernie's son, Mark who tragically took his own life after struggling for too long dealing with his father's sins. I watched the TV movie Madoff earlier this month and have read a few other books about the scandal. These are the kinds of things I love to absorb myself in and forget about bc.
Caryn, enjoy your trip to F-L-A! The temps here are close to zero this weekend and my mother-in-law is spendin' the night cuz she has no heat in her apt.
And STILL, I appreciate that I get to have these moments. Lol.0 -
thanks all. I do have ativan. To make matters worse, like that can happen, my employer just called and basically days I need to come back to work of thru will post my job ugh. Like I need that. Finances would be better if I go back full-time but physically can I? I really want to go home for a visit and take a vacation this fall. For now I will sit outside and read in the sun with my pets and enjoy the weekend and the walking dead marathon. Thanks again for the support,i can always count on these boards.
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teakie88,
I read the 50 essential things for cancer and am now reading the 50 essential things for breast cancer. I plan to read the cancer conqueror next! Let me know what you think of it. The DivineMrsM I totally encourage you to check his books out. I love the way he supports a healing of body and soul. Very positive and inspirational. I wish I could find a support group that functions the way he recommends.
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Lvin This is a wonderful place for support. I will add another book recomendation. It is not specific to cancer but helps me cope with my dark days. Breen Brown's Rising Strong. She also had a great ted talk.
Mary
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Compression girl rides again ; I was subject to a very extensive search due to my compression stocking! This included being swabbed in several places for explosives residue and having to roll my pants up to thigh level. Good thing my sleeve wasn't on yet.
I was already frustrated by Frontier Airlines, when TSA decided I ought to have extra scrutiny. I know that our times merit caution, but I was notin the mood, grrrr. So, if my flight, already an hour delayed, ever takes off, I will relax and enjoy. Being upset has changed nothing, though I do fear that Frontier will charge for toilet paper.
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Oh geeze, Caryn. Hope things get better from here!
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MB12. hello. I had bc in breast 19 years ago. June,2014 lymph node next to esophagus was enlarged and couldn't swallow well. Needle biopsy showed ER estrogen so now I am stage 4. Been on letrozole and ibrance now Ned. Originally I had no positive lymph nodes to breast and had lumpectomy and rads.
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thank you. I just finished when God winks at you. Pretty good read.
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Have a great trip Caryn! (Flip them one too after they get down patting you down.....)
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So, I did the Disney Princess 10K this past weekend, and it was the first physical thing like that I had done since diagnosis. I exercise pretty regularly, but there was such a sense of accomplishment in completing this. I walked it, but 3 years ago, I couldn't imagine that my feet or legs would allow me to walk a 5K let alone 10k. Some friends since college came down & we made it a girls' weekend. Hoping that I will be able to do more in the future!
Caryn -- I hope your trip got better after your not so fun security time.
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Nbnotes, congratulations on your accomplishment!
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Nbnotes. That is wonderful. Walk or run, it was a wonderful accomplishment. Congratulations for completing the course, and what a wonderful place to do it.
Lynne
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Way to go nb! Doesn't it feel glorious to accomplish something you did in the past and weren't sure you could still do? Hopefully it will set up a habit for you! I actually went skiing with my kids and DH the other day! Wasn't sure if I could manage at all but went for 3 hours. It was heaven, just glorious! I felt like I got hit by a train the next day, sore as heck! Hahaha....But I did it, felt so happy about it and today went and got my free massage at my center. So feeling pretty good right now. I got over the fear and plan to try again next weekend.
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nbnotes,
I am very impressed. Congratulations!! I had a fabulous time in Florida, but my experience with Fr--tier Airlines went from bad to worse, culminating with lost luggage! It arrived, eventually, and I think I'll just focus on the nice time I had.
I went to see Ruby Bridges this evening. Her message and memories of being a 6 year old on the forefront of integrating a New Orleans school were inspirational. Tomorrow night I am taking my granddaughter to see the first US tour of Peppa Pig Live (based on a very popular British TV cartoon character). I leada wild life 😉.
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Artist, how wonderful that you were able to go skiing in spite of everything. I know just what you mean. A while ago I went on a trip to a place where I wanted to snorkel, and by the time I got there I was extremely fatigued. I got in the water and couldn't seem to get past the surf into the calm. I was crying with disappointment, sorrow, frustration, and tiredness, and I said I would to go back to shore, but my friends wouldn't let me. They held on to me to keep me from being tossed around, got me to the calm area, and then I had a nice time. It felt so good to be in the water. And I was glad that ultimately I was not defeated.
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Exbrxgrl, when you have recovered from your airline troubles, it will make a great story!
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Sounds great Caryn.
NB - you are my hero. Well done!
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Shetland, As an addendum to my story, my DH talked me into going on a slope that I told him was too difficult for me. I fell several times on the way down, to which I told him very calmly but with a few tears "I hate you". Once I got to the bottom he felt bad and then I apologized for being a big baby. Then we resumed our good time on an easier slope! LOL! So same for me as you, ultimately not defeated! It felt great to feel almost like my old self...
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Artistatheart -- I'm impressed with your skiing as well. The one time I went; I couldn't get farther than the bunny slope; so, being able to do any real skiing is amazing to me!
Caryn - Sorry the experience with Frontier got worse, but I'm glad you were able to have to a good time in spite of that!
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nbnotes, My DH and I met at this ski resort when we both worked there in our young twenties. We lived there so had lots of time to learn. I am NOT a natural athlete so only got good enough to get down some intermediate slopes which is good enough for me. It's all about riding the chair in the beauty and quiet. Then swooshing to the bottom. I love it!
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Hi Everybody! I was just thinking about this thread being almost 2 years old! Incredible! I think people are very drawn to the topic......especially those newly diagnosed. I am excited to say that next week marks my four year cancerversary and I am still going strong. I also see that some others have posted recently with 10 years, 8 years, etc under their belts! Truly inspirational.
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Congrats on four years!!! That's awesome. I'm just past my 3 year anniversary. Thanks for sharing that, Kaymic, made my day!
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Kay,
Congrats on 4 great years and may you have many more! Despite a rocky start, I'm so glad that this thread has served as a place of hope and inspiration for so many. Yes, it is a bit odd to live well with a terminal disease, but some stage IV women do find them selves in that position . May we all cherish each day
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I just finished being part of a study "Living well with Metastatic Breast Cancer" There were about 25 of us on Vancouver Island that were part of it. I was one of the last to be interviewed and the interviewer said to me that she found it very interesting that most of us were so upbeat & full of life. Not at all what she was expecting from stage IV cancer patients.
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Very good point seursis, I like it! GG27, i think I would have told her to try and imagine how awful our lives would be if we had to contend with this disease AND live in the dumps with the blues........What choice do we have really but to try and find joy in the small moments and a new day?
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