Life does not end with a stage IV diagnosis (really!)
Comments
-
Caryn, Your beautiful grandchildren are getting so big. Miles is almost a year old? Wow, it is a wonderful reminder of that fact that I am living longer than I expected with this disease. I think that both of your grandchildren look like you. Has anyone ever told you that?
Devine, I am jealous. My garden is still covered with snow. I thought it would be gone by now, but we were surprised with a late 11 inch snowstorm late last week. Luckily, it is melting, so I am looking forward to playing in the dirt soon.
Believe, congratulations on your good scan results.
Stefanie, It sounds like you are having a good time traveling and visiting with friends. I hope your foot heals quickly and that you aren't in too much pain.
My DH and I spent a little more than two weeks in Florida last month. We spent 9 days in Walt Disney World and the rest of the time in Naples. We had no children with us, but we found that we could enjoy WDW all by ourselves. It was really fun. We went to a few beaches in the Naples area. We soaked in the warm temperatures and sunshine. One of my sons and his family were in Naples, too, and we joined them for a Red Sox pre-season game in Ft. Myers. They also joined us for a day at the beach. Our visit to Florida was extended when a snowstorm hit the northeast, and our flight home was canceled. We were not sad to spend an extra three days in the warm weather while people at home were digging out from under a foot and a half of new snow.
Lynne
0 -
Thank you all for the compliments. It's amazing to think that my family looked very different on the day of my dx. So much has happened since then and I am happy and grateful for every moment. Yes, I have stage IV bc, which stinks, but I am going to squeeze every bit of joy out of life as I can. I hope you all do the same, to whatever extent possible. So, let's hear more about how life goes on!
Caryn
PS: Divine, kudos to you. I have a small patio which looks like a disaster after a very wet winter and the less than delicate treatment of my things by the house painters.
Lynne,
Florida sounds great. Frankie an older dd went to Disneyland last week and dd was surprised by how many adults were there without kids!
0 -
Lynne, I LOVE Disneyland, kids or not. I lived by the one in Anaheim when I was small and the wonder of it all made a very lasting nostalgic experience. it's about time to go again. Would love to see Disney World!
Divine, I am very envious of your garden. I love to get out there and plant and nurture the garden. I was very disappointed to discover that our new HOA has some pretty rigid restrictions!! I am trying to think creatively and scout out the neighbors yards to see what I can get away with......heehee Congrats on your newfound privacy. That will be heavenly for you!
Steph, So sorry about the ankle. I remember last summer when I fractured my wrist and was in a splint for months! It really inhibits the activities. Have a blast anyway with your girlfriends!
0 -
Caryn thank you for your post! It definitely helps calm some of my anxiety. I'm new to stage IV and trying to remain calm.
0 -
exbmxgirl-your grandchildren are beautiful!!!!! Thank you for sharing!
Beliebe-so happy about your results. Celebrate!!!!
Babs
0 -
Welcome Meme! Ironic I was just reminiscing about Disneyland.....
0 -
meme~ I understand the un calm feeling of this diagnosis and there is no rule to go through it. I am 46 going on 47 in may and I still sit and feel like I'm living someone elses life all of a sudden,and I wasn't given any choice like all of you. I try to live each day and remember, that at least they are treating me and saying things like chronic and lines of different treatments are available. I know that all of this sucks outloud, there are so many fighters here and great women with someday's just one word can lift your spirits. I know newtown well. My family lived there for over ten years. Near Tyler state park I believe it is. Lovely area. I am still not far from there. So know not far from you right now, Someone else does understand how you're feeling. You're not alone. Let's get the most out of each day ladies. It's our only choice now!!! Hugs all around. ~M~
0 -
So my middle child (a daughter) just announced last night that she is engaged! I am beside myself with joy! I kept thinking that if it did not happen soon then the fiancés mother would inherit all the wonderful privileges that are normally the Mother of the Brides. It makes me crazy to think about that..... But of course after I hung up the phone I was crying my head off with joy AND sorrow. Will I still be here? Will I see a grandchild ever? Will I see my other two eventually be settled down and most importantly happy? My mind was reeling. My DH keeps saying to "just live in the moment" and of course "live for TODAY". But as we know that is easier said than done. Today I decided to just take the news and revel in it for awhile. She is coming for a week in July and we will be able to do some planning together for which i can't wait. I just love them so much!
0 -
Mazel tov! What a happy time for you and your family. Though I understand where your thoughts go at stage IV, I agree with your husband. When I was dx'ed, younger dd wasn't married and I had no grandchildren. This was at the very beginning of my life with stage IV and though I did think about my uncertain future, I decided to wring every bit of happiness out of each day, regardless of how many days I had. Not always easy, but worth aiming for.
0 -
Artist, WOOHOO, how exciting. Have they set a date for the wedding? Will it take place close to your home? Do you know if they want a big, fancy wedding or a small simple one or something in between? I have so many questions, and I don't even know the bride- and groom-to-be. I am so happy for you. I firmly believe that you will be there at the wedding, looking beautiful and smiling radiantly.
None of us know what the future holds for us, but that doesn't mean that we should stop looking towards the future. My DH just rented a condo in Florida for a few weeks next winter. I have no idea what shape I will be in, but heck, I am looking forward to it. We are also planning to return to Hawaii for two weeks in October. I made a deal with him before his surgery last month. I told him that if he came through surgery with no complications, I would take another trip there. It is a long flight, and I know I will be stiff and achy, but it is worth it. He had major problems during and after surgery last year, so I figured the incentive of the trip would take his mind of things even though he really had no control over complications. So now we have two trips planned (with trip cancellation insurance, of course.) We will be poor, but we will be happy.
Lynne
0 -
Artist - Congrats !!!!-I'm joining the club with you on having a newly engaged daughter- we got the news last month and are very happy ! I have been having the same thoughts and fears that I won't be around for it. The wedding will be in L.A. (we live in Minnesota ) so it will be difficult to even be much help in planning. The groom to be is Jewish so my daughter is converting (not sure how long that takes but the wedding date will probably be no earlier than next summer). In addition, my daughter just started an awesome new job (she is an Entertainment Law attorney) so is overwhelmed with the process of wedding planning. Decision #1-get a Wedding Planner !!! Please, please I want to be around for the big day !
0 -
Artist and Stilts, so incredibly happy for both of you! Now remember to share those photos of the weddings, and praying you both enjoy every single moment of planning and the actual day
0 -
Artiste & Stilts- Congratulations to you both!! What happy news! My kids are too young still, but hopefully one day.....
In the meantime, in the spirit of this topic, I have been following up on one of the more unusual goals I've had since my diagnosis.
I work in a STEM field, and women are rare as hen's teeth (as they say), and the environment is decidedly not supportive- so, I decided to challenge it all- went and got a top-notch lawyer to file a legal complaint and force my workplace to develop proactive policies for women...It's not over yet, but there have already been a lot of positive changes and this issue clearly needed to be forced in this way in order to become an urgent priority. Of course, cancer can still come bite me in the butt again (and again!), but for the moment I find that pushing to create change for problems that are bigger than my own, is a lot of fun
0 -
Cure-ious,Good for you! I am old enough to remember employers, educators, and even parents openly discouraging girls from considering certain careers. Heaven forbid she should want to become a scientist, a doctor or an attorney. I was lucky enough to have a wonderful math teacher who told me to major in mathematics in spite of what others said. I loved math. She told me that computers would become increasingly important in our lives, and that math was my way into the future. I learned programming back in the days of mainframes. Most people in my classes were men. Things changed over the years, but I never forgot that teacher. What you are doing is wonderful. Women have come a long way since my high school days, but as you know from personal experience, there is still work to be done. I support the work you are doing
Lynne
0 -
Thanks, Lynne!! It's easier than I thought it would be, these lawyers really know how to deal with these issues nowadays, its not like it was even a decade ago- women need to force the issue. even though its the last thing the guys want to hear about, but anyway there's nothing like a stage IV diagnosis to stiffen your spine..
0 -
Such wonderful stories here tonight. Congrats Artist and Stilts on the engagements in the family. Yes, be super focused on the here and now. Soak in all the details and embrace the emotions. I once had a wonderful old neighbor who used to say, "Next year will take care of itself." I always loved that perspective. No one can say what the future holds for anyone, so experience now. As exbrnxgrl says, she's experienced many wonderful family milestones since her dx. It can happen for you, too.
50sgirl, you are so lucky to have had that teacher. My sister was called to the office when she signed up to take an electrical class (in the mid 1970s) and told she was not permitted to take the class because she was a girl. Horrid! So its great to hear you took the teacher's advice and forged ahead in a primarily male field.
Cure-ious, I am so proud of you, championing for women's rights in the workplace! Those are lasting changes that will benefit women from now on. Excellent. I recently had a good experience with a lawyer who help me with my disability appeal, and its great to know they re out there fighting for women's equality in the work field.
0 -
Dresses and hats, on the way to the racetrack at Keeneland. (I'm sitting, white hat).
18 years of friendship.
0 -
artist~ congrats,I feel so happy for you and your family. That is wonderful news. You deserve every good thing that comes your way. I'm so excited for you, you're going to look beautiful as the mother of the bride. The best to the new soon to be bride and her soon to be groom!!
~M~
0 -
Caryn, you are always very positive in attitude and it rubs off! You too Lynne, you have such a fresh and upbeat perspective, I really love it. Thanks so much for the congrats! No date set yet but I have a feeling it will be next summer-isa. It likely won't be near us, more likely Santa Barbara where they live now. I think she will do something simple, elegant with just the right amount of glam. Definitely not too expensive as neither set of parents has a lot of money to help out. I would rather see them save it for a house anyway. But I can guarantee her dress will be something perfect! Good for you on the trip planning. We are trying to get something planned that is special but won't totally break the bank.
Yay Stilts, Maybe we can virtual shop together for Mother of the Bride dresses! Gracie, I love taking photos and have always been the family photographer until my son suddenly bloomed into a real master. I hope he is going to shoot the wedding!
Cure-ious, I have found since my Dx that I am much more bold in seeking out justice and equality in my work environment. I have become rather outspoken on union issues and find it very satisfying. You go! Best of luck.
Divine, thanks and I will. I am on Spring vacation this week and am taking a small two day road trip on my own to just trip around San Francisco and take pictures, one of my major art passions.
Steph, What a fun day! You gals look great. You are so fortunate to have a whole group of supportive women!
0 -
artist and Stilts. Congratulations. Having just had my DDs wedding I know how exciting and happy you are. Being here for this was one of my goals and thank god i was. Enjoy every moment !!!! It was exhausting to plan but I loved every minute of it! Now I need to be here for grandchildren!!!
Cureious good for you!!!!!
Steph. Great pictures! Thanks for sharing
Babs
0 -
What I anticipated as an awful day at my ONC office surprisingly left me with a great sense of relief! I finally have in my possession a notarized copy of my Health Care Directives ! This was after receiving a request in January to make an appt with the office staff person who helps patients complete them. Of course my first thought was geez...they must think the end is near for me. She explained the notice goes out to all their patients regardless of diagnosis or condition and was actually glad for the feedback. Done...now praying things stay under control so I can be around for DDs wedding next year
0 -
Oh you will be Stilts! We have to compare notes and share pictures!
0 -
I have to say, I had a somewhat similar feeling as you two, Stilts and Artist, back in 2013. My niece got engaged and the wedding was set for the following year. My three sisters, a very close friend of the family and another niece all went to Atlanta to help my niece pick her wedding gown. It remains one of the best experiences of my life. And most memorable: among a group of women with often extremely different opinions, when my niece walked out of the dressing room in that one gown, we all hands down agreed "that was the one".
And I hoped and prayed to be around for the wedding...sure enough, dh, ds and I flew down in May 2014 for another wonderful visit and the ceremony. Hard to believe it was three years ago already!
Also, my son was a senior in high school at the time of my diagnosis. So I was thrilled and very much aware of being present when he graduated magna cum laude from college four years later. Hard to believe that ceremony was two years ago!
0 -
Am jumping in here to wish everyone very happy weddings.
Just heard my brother is getting married in January. I will be about 4 months post chemo then.
Goals are so important!
Liz x
0 -
So exciting with all the weddings on the horizon. Congratulations to everyone. I was another one that really thought I wasn't going to see a child get married much less see a grandchild. Both prayers were answered for me. This is such an important and memorable day in your lives. Enjoy every moment.
0 -
Great news Believe!!!
Beautiful picture of your grandchildren exbr. They are absolutely precious! My plan is to be here to meet my grandchildren. My daughter is 11. Love hearing all the wonderful things you have experienced since your diagnosis.
0 -
Love that singlemom! I'll cheers to that.
You too Divine, nice story. I can't wait to hear about your son's wedding down the road!
Thanks Liz, start shopping for that special dress in January! Winter wear could be fun!
I think Kandy needs another pregnancy announcement! LOL! Hope you are feeling OK....
0 -
Have you ever heard of a wedding in January in Wales? Only my brother!
Will be glad of the wig for warmth alone!! Freezing..
Must swap outfit ideas- I'm thinking faux fur!!
Best wishes to all on this forum. Love to all
Liz 🌷🌷🌷🌷
0 -
yes! White fur....
0 -
I enjoy popping in every now and then to read this thread, then go on with my busy life. Half of every week seems to be tied up with chemo and doctor visits, but when I'm not doing that, I have lots to keep me happy. Here's how I keep busy.
I'm the director of the Pathfinder club at my church. We were participating in a Bible quiz event with other clubs from our part of Indiana. We'll be camping down in southern Indiana over the first weekend in May with clubs from all over the state.
My son was prop manager for The Diary of Anne Frank at his school. I had the fun of making the diary for them. I actually sewed the pages together like an old-fashioned book. The really sweet part of the story is that the entire cast and crew wrote in the diary and gave it back to me after the play was over.
Mr. Cardinal comes nearly every day to visit me. He chirps at me, knocks on the window if I ignore him, and seems to enjoy watching me drive Mariokart 8. Lately he brings his Lady Love along with him. She only gets as close as the feeder. With the leaves popping out and nests being built, I don't expect to see him very often any more.
Last Monday night my son was inducted into the National Honor Society. I'm so proud of him.
Celebrating afterwards with both my boys, Nathan and Johann.
0
