Stupid comments ....
Comments
-
Wonderful news, RG - so totally happy for you two!!! Enjoy the heck out of the weekend, especially the concert. I don't know if it's an early or late birthday present to each other, but best to both of you for your birthdays and new year.
Can't believe the comment...
0 -
wonderful news Raider Girl! I'm so happy for you!
From another little snowflake
Katy
0 -
Ok ladies, I can't resist. Top 2-
Right after my mastectomy I walked into my sister in law's packed house for a holiday dinner, only to be introduced as "the one that has breast cancer." Oh yes she did! My face burned and it was all I could do to not insist we drive back home immediately.
My supervisor tells me as I inform her of what's happening how "Jan (who works in a much less high profile position) worked all through her chemo." I truly want to not miss a beat but right now this diagnosis is new and pretty scary!
I have enjoyed reading this thread. Thanks for the opportunity to vent.
Diane
0 -
DianaDavis - I was getting the same statements from my management as well, it was very upsetting for me as I already felt a lot of guilt for the time off I'd need away from my staff. Ended up having to file FMLA and my MO took me off work so I can be relieved from that stress and also have my job protected while I focus on treatments
Remind them that you are not Jan and everyone responds differently to the chemo!!! Geeeez!!!!!!!
0 -
there is always SOMEONE who can work thru anything. DO NOT feel like you have to live up to Superwoman. You go at your own pace. Get FMLA,,, FFS,, if not now, when??? You need it,, that is what it is there for. Whatever time my MD said I needed off for surgery,, I took an extra week so I would be fully rested as much as possible. Have tons of sick time,, figured I may as well use some.0 -
Great news RaiderGirl!
DianeDavis - I heard many times about "brave girls" who worked through chemo - good for them - I didn't and wouldn't - what is wrong with people???!
0 -
RaiderGirl - congrats! That is awesome news!
JackBirdie - any special tricks to teach the "down" command? My little one isn't very good at it!
0 -
Jackiebirdie your little Jack is so cute. Right now my cats and I are at odds. One is bothering my son and the other is knocking things off my night stand.
0 -
Meow, I suspect your cats are out of sorts cuz they know something is up. They are letting you know 2 things. They are trying to get your attention to let you know they see you in your distress. They are also doing it because they are letting you know because of number 1), THEY are not getting enough attention.
Mel- the down command was very hard to teach until I learned a much easier way. The new training methods seem to all use "approximations" to reward the dog in ever so small increments for simply going in the right direction. Treats are broken into tiny pieces. Always train just before mealtime when motivation for food rewards are highest. And offer verbal praise simultaneously. Keep sessions very short. 5 minutes . Twice a day. Before feeding. If your dog will sit, hold the treat under his nose in your semi closed fist so he can't grab it. If need be keep your other hand softly on his backside to keep him from popping up out of the sit. Pull your hand with treat straight down towards his toes. Reward this small approximation with praise and a bit of treat. The idea is to get them straight down without walking out of the sit. Once they are eating or following the treat down, the dog might extend a foot to to start sliding his belly into a down. vIgorously praise and treat the dog for any small approximation. If they do wrong, don't say no, just go back to where they were doing right and treat as soon as they repeat previous success. It could take 3-4 sessions to get just to this point. Ultimately I got Jack into a 25 min long down. Even after he thought he was the pack leader for 5 yrs. but they do need a day off, as do you. But consistency is the key
There are good Youtube videos on this. I will look for a link and post for you.
0 -
Mel try this. I have made it an unlink, so you may have to work with it. It is in YouTube under "teach dog to lie down. There are many good ones, but this is one I always came back to. Sorry to everyone else for briefly hijacking for the cause of a well-behaved dog.
/youtu.be/YpAFj-p23ig0 -
Oh, so you are having reconstruction surgery? Well I have plenty, if I'd known that sooner I would have game you some of mine.
WTH! First of all that's not even possible. Second of all, you can keep your saggy ass boobs all to your self. And no I don't want a part of your ass either.
0 -
Hey Stacie13Very insensitive comment .....sorry that you had to deal with that .....!!!
Thanks for the laugh though ...I love your reply about her saggy ass boobs ......I am still laughing .
0 -
Hi,
First just a quick update on my MO from hell. After I slept enough to be vaguely coherent, I emailed the chief MO, listing every one of my issues complete with why I deemed them significant and why I felt my treatment didn't meet the standards of care. Over the last 15 months I've learned a massive amount from my BCO sisters and, more important, how to handle problems in ways which docs understand. Because of the collective wisdom of my BCO sisters, I was even able to cite various medical journals to back up what I was saying.
The response was very quick – I have a meeting with the MO chief, the center's patient advocate, and my ex-MO's NP scheduled for next Thursday. The email I got began and ended with an apology. I got the sense that either they're truly concerned (which would fit with my overall experience with them) or they're scared that I'm capable of raising hell.
Without the support of you all, I might've fallen into the "doctor knows best" trap and just accepted what happened. Your outrage on my behalf gave me the strength to demand better treatment. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Now to catch up with this thread…
bride
0 -
Yay Bride!! Outstanding work!!!! You are a rock star!!0 -
LAstar, three years out, it's time to party! You've a fine voice, I hope you're singing!
RG, yeah on your negative biospy and a double pimp slapping for the fool who said to skip biospies.
To the chemo quads, be ready for any SE. I was given 3 different RXs for nausea/vomiting and nothing for diarrhea. I had 6 months of chemo before surgery and never had any nausea or vomiting. But I had continuous massive diarrhea. I found it very useful to track my SEs and it helped me get meds to deal with them. One time I had minor cramps in my arms -- not a big deal I thought. Turned out to be a sign my sodium level was way too low and that's a big deal.
Today's stupid comment. While in line at the grocery store, the woman behind me said "you know, your hair would look a lot better if you let it grow." I told her that I was really happy that it has grown this long since last August when I had none. She said "why'd you shave it? You must have known how ugly it would look."
Was there a class on how to be offensive that I somehow missed?
hugs to all,
bride
0 -
wow, bride,, did you pimp slap her? I cannot believe how incredibly rude people can be!! I cannot imagine saying anything negative like that to a total stranger. I might tell a stranger,, oh that's a lovely blouse,, or something nice,,, but something so rude like that,,, I am just floored. WHY????? Obviously many many people missed the MANNERS part of the program.0 -
-
Bride - first to all well done for taking up your experience with your MO. Perhaps the have been suspicious there has been problems, as so they will pleased to have you raise it with them. Looking at the list of people at your meeting - it looks that way to me.
My chin is on the floor with what the old bat behind you in the grocery store spat out. WTF - did you know her. Actually, it should never had been said either way, unforgivable. Some people just live in their own worlds. Bad karma to her. I am often conscious I have short hair - thankfully growing. I didn't choose my style - in fact I don't even think it is a style - just what it decides to do each day. I am really looking forward to the time when I do have a style and can control it how I like. I am often very conscious - particularly seeing people I have seen for a while - just in case they think I have chosen this haircut. Have actually told them its post chemo when someone has complemented it - might have been a bit blunt and they were probably only trying to be nice. I really would have hoped I would have put on my best snotty british accent (its actually quite useful sometimes) and tried to give that lady what she deserved - a verbal pimp slap in the face. You go girl!
0 -
Aww bride, I am sorry you had that awful experience. I just scratch my head and wonder, what planet these people are from.
0 -
20 years or so ago,,, way before BC,, I was out to dinner with my current guy,, and a woman with really really short hair walked by. He made a negative comment about it being so short,, and I said,,, Maybe she had chemo and lost her hair and it's growing back now. Well, that shut him up!! I don't know why people feel like they have to comment on other people's appearance. I may be shocked by some,, excessive piercings or something,, but I would never say anything. It is not my business.0 -
Oh Bride, it is just amazing what stupidity comes out of people's mouths.
Today was the first beautiful day here in the Midwest, so I took my SIL and my son to lunch at my favorite restaurant. I am still a little self-conscious of my 3/4 inch long hair, but my son assured me it looked great, so I spiked it and off to the restaurant we went with no hat on. As we were finishing up lunch, I noticed a man staring at me from across the restaurant. I tried to ignore him, honestly I did, but when I had had enough I asked myself -- what would my BCO sisters do? So, I waved and blew him a kiss!!!!! It wasn't long after that he and his family left. What a fun lunch that was!!!!!
0 -
So true Glennie, I agree. I will always comment on something positive if I am standing in line, but saying something negative like that...never.
0 -
First, congratulations RG on B9!!!
Second, WTG Bride!!!
Third, a pox on all stupid people and their stupid comments!!!!!!
0 -
excellent solution, nomatterwhat! I salute you!!0 -
Ha ha, good for you nomatterwhat! I bet he wasn't expecting that!
I have a very close girlfriend who has been through chemo recently, she went out bald if it was too hot for a hat. Her hair grew back the most striking jet black and pure white, salt and pepper and as it grew, the curls looked like a curly lamb. My friend is off on a months holiday next week to Europe, she called in to see me yesterday, with her new haircut which is buzzed back to the super short pre curls, that she had when it was growing in, after the chemo. It looks fantastic, suits her face and her beautiful, quirky, arty self! She had long hair before and she said "Who knew, that this would be the style that would really suit me!"
0 -
Bride! Good.For.You!
Just because you get knowledgable from your sisters here does not take away from the fact that YOU gathered your strength. YOU wrote a compelling letter in language they could relate to. YOU stood up for yourself. Very, very, proud of you. To stick up for yourself this way is brave, strong, and will not only help yourself, but no doubt countless others. I'm in awed reverence
0 -
Way to go bride! We all need to be our own best advocates. I hope I can have the strength to be as brave.
0 -
Jackbirdie, is that you and your best friend in your avatar? *waving!*DianeDavis: Love the dogs!
M: curly lamb curls,,, amazing how different hair grows back after chemo.
0 -
Jackbirdie and TortyLass - glad your treatments went smoothly. It is important to know exactly what you're getting and when. The people in the treatment center are wonderful but there are days when the place is so busy I don't know how they keep track of who gets what. Besides drinking plenty of fluids, it also helps to move around, at least a little bit, every day.
Jack is very cute! We have a rescue dog that we adopted back in late 2011 after my lumpectomy but before I started radiation. He has been my lifeline. I would leave my family before I left him ;-) His is my reason to get off the sofa when I feel like crap. Throughout my treatments and surgeries, I walked with him and my husband everyday unless I just physically couldn't.
Raidergirl - congratulations on the good news! I know it is a huge relief for you and your husband.
Stacie13 - If we all had a dollar for the stupid comments we've heard, we'd be fairly well-off! I'm so tired of comments like that - I don't want anyone's saggy ass boobs or saggy ass ass either!
DianeDavis - it's amazing to me how family, especially sisters, seem so unsupportive. Why would anyone (related or not) feel compelled to introduce someone that way??? Geez. As for work, as others have said, you are you and this is your diagnosis and treatment, not anyone else's.
As for comments, this one isn't really stupid, I just thought it was funny. I met with my plastic surgeon last week to discuss the upcoming exchange of TE's for implants. As with most, my TE's are not symmetrical, and the nipple of my radiated breast has sort of wandered up and to the left since I've been getting fills. If my nipples were eyes, my left nipple would be a "wall eye". When my dr was examining me, she assured me that my implants would be more symmetrical, and less Picasso-like. Right away, I got an image in my head and got a chuckle out of it
Have a great day everyone!
0 -
JackBirdie - thanks for the tips on teaching the dog the down command. I will check out that video. And, great comments to Bride on her strength!!
Bride - great job with the letter to the MO! Best of luck for a great meeting with everyone on Thursday. Sorry about that crazy person who made the comments about your hair. What a wacko!
Nomatterwhat - congrats to you - that was a great way to handle the situation at lunch!
0
