Stupid comments ....
Comments
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Wowowow, Bride -- way to go! You are paving the way for changes so that the women coming through next will get better treatment. The lady behind you in line?? Good gravy, woman!!! Get a clue! Let me serve you a nice cold cup of junk punch!
NoMatterWhat -- I love it! Best possible response!
Gingercake, that is the perfect image! I'm not the recipient of two major flap reconstructions that make me feel a bit like Frankenstein's monster who looks great in clothes; I'm a walking breathing Picasso-style Roy Lichtenstein work of art!
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oh ladies, lmao!
Yes that's my bestie in the photo. She left this morning, sniff.
Jack is my lifeline.
LA Star: a nice cold cup of junk punch....veeerrrryy good!
Still feeling ok, tired, but relieved it's no worse at the moment. So I'm trying to live in it.
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Jack, take good care of your mom!!0 -
Jackbirdie,
Great picture, you look very cozy with Jack, and I really like your hat.
Keep hanging in there.
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To everyone here, because I'd use like 50 lines just to list your names!
First of all, I love you guys -- you're supportive, wise, delightful, and funny as all get out. And you have really great pets! Having you cheer me on gives me the strength I need to claim my right as a full partner in my healthcare.
Secondly, I've come up with a new idea for a research project: why do women who both cuss and laugh hang around an IDC forum even they don't have IDC?
Other random thoughts. I've always worn "professional short hair." My new hair came in really curly, a lot less coarse, and without hardly any grey.
I think killing them with kindness (blowing kisses, for example) should be the mandatory first step. If they don't flee in embarrassment or look appropriately ashamed, they should be promptly pimp slapped.
A tip from my DP/caregiver: whenever she's gotten weird vibes from our waitresses, she drops the tip to 10% but also leaves a pink rubber bracelet embossed with the name of my treatment center.
Does anyone else have a treatment center that offers such bracelets? It would be cool to trade them around like baseball cards. Yeah, okay, I'm bored and not doing anything but laundry so my mind has gotten unruly.
{{{{HUGS}}}}
bride
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Bride, I don't do pink but I do have a wristband from Be the Match that is multi-colored and bears the words "Light, Love, Power, Presence." It's one that Robin Roberts' friends designed for her when she was going through a stem-cell transplant for MDS subsequent to treatment for breast cancer. I read about it in her memoir "Everybody's Got Something" and liked the idea. Best of all, the bands are made in the US, rather than, say, China.
I really like the sentiment and find it helpful/centering to wear. I also like the idea of supporting Be the Match in some way, since I can no longer donate.
And yes, isn't this a great group of women??
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It never occurred to me that this was an IDC thread. I'm just drawn to bitching about stupid comments.
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Hi bride, they follow it because everyone laughs and they cuss. Great to relieve tension. And we do not have bracelets that I know of, but I am willing to send laundry
I keep putting it off. Rads fatigue is slowing me down, and I am tired of the side-a-f**ks. 0 -
Hopeful, even though we can't be a donor for most things, retinas are possible to donate. I am donating my body to our local medical school and research center at the Cleveland Clinic. They will pick up, do the research, and cremate the remains at no charge. The ashes are returned to the family or added to the crypt in the Mausoleum. Being triple negative, I hope it helps. There may be something close to you, but worth a look to donate something, pay it forward to do some good!
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Thanks, Beachbum. I'm not sure anyone would want my retinas, even for research!
But it's good to know. I used to donate blood regularly - even made a point of keeping enough weight on that I could do so. I'm sorry that I can't do that any more. LAstar - it may be an IDC thread but we're clearly quite inclusive.
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TheHopeful 8201, I'm not thrilled with endless array of pink but the cool family resource lady gave me and my DP really neat shirts from my center's 5k run so my DP figured buying some bracelets was the least we could do in return. She made sure they were USA made. As much as I get annoyed with constantly being given pink stuff, I've accepted that some folks just aren't very creative although they are well-intentioned. My favorite gift arrived in response to my bitching about a constantly runny nose. Two days later I got a dozen handkerchiefs which could easy double as young flags of surrender.
Beachbum, if you are willing to risk losing socks and to put up with badly ironed clothes, send your laundry.
I figure I've got about six months worth to catch up on so another bunch of loads wouldn't add much. I lost over 30 lbs during treatment which really cut down on my laundry. Side-f!cks really suck! I've already donated tissue and blood to the research bank. Nobody seems interested in the rest of me. How'd you find a research center who was interested?KB and LAstar, I only noticed today that this was an IDC thread. I wanted somewhere to whinge and swear. Damned (NB, use of cuss word) if this isn't the most fun group here.
bride
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I have to admit I didn't know it was an IDC forum either. No matter, I'm just glad I found it! I've gotten a lot of laughs and I think you all are wonderful
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Okay. So now we all admit our need to swear and berate those who make idiotic statements is more important than what type of BC we have.
Makes sense to me.
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It's nice of you two to support the Center, Bride, and glad to know I'm not the only one obsessing about avoiding junk from China. Thank you!! Didn't realize that you, too, had infiltrated the IDC board - so glad you did.
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Thinking we were being forward-thinking toward research and knowledge of IBC, my sister and I called MD Anderson--the place with the IBC clinic--to offer tissue samples. Since we're both IBC (her--absolutely, me--sort-of) we thought they would be interested in sisters with such a "rare" disease. Nope! "Thank you, ma'am, if you want to consult one of our physicians you're welcome to make an appointment." Oh, well.
You all crack me up to the degree that I look forward to this board every day!
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My most recent stupid comment:
Having dinner at one of my DH favorite brew pubs. When one of his friends found out I had a BMX and I'm not getting reconstructed he looked at my hubby and said, "Oh I feel for you man. I couldn't do it, I'm a breast man myself".
Hello... I'm sitting right here you jerk!
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Slappy....I guess we now know that talking about ones health in a place that serves alcoholic beverages is a "no-no". What an insensitive moron. Did you husband call him out? A pox on his house for thinking AND saying that!!
MsP
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He's a boob!
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I've had many friends offer to "donate" since my only choice seems to be the TE route but I think that's probably an idiotic comment that I would probably blurt out too, so I just laughed.
Absolutely LOVE this thread!
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Slappy, the guy needs a junk punch!! OMG,,, how cruel and insensitive.0 -
Shortly after my diagnosis I overheard one of my less favorite co-workers remark that I got cancer because I was so mean.
I've had some very good laughs reading most of these posts, so thankful.
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OMG!!! He would be an ex-friend when I got done with him!!!! What an ahole.
NickiDanny, you can fix mean, but stupid is forever!!! I can see why he/she is a less favorite co-worker.
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OK - How's this:
"Some ladies do not need chemo, just surgery & rads. Or chemo-lite. ( not Adriamycin )." Funny, I've never heard my MO refer to TC, taxol or CMF as "chemo-lite" and I've known women who were totally knocked off their feet by all. I didn't realize that anything other than Adriamycin wasn't 'real' chemo. I didn't realize that there was a hierarchy of suffering for chemo... And yes, this WAS written by someone with cancer. It really hit me the wrong way.
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Wow, Hopeful where did you see that, if I may ask? While I have not had chemo myself, as a pharmacist, I have mixed my share of it,,, and to me,, there is no such thing as "chemo-lite" Yes, Adria is bad,, but none of them are a walk in the park.0 -
I was talking to a friend who had a new bc, same breast, after 15 years, last week. I asked her what type, and she said they didn't yet know the hormonal, or Her_2 status yet, but her first was strongly ER positive. I mentioned that I know someone whose second primary was triple negative, and she was like Gawd, I hope not, that would be my worst nightmare!!!!
Well, I said, mine was triple negative, and tried explaining that there were pluses and minuses to both.....
Now I'm not sure if it was her or me making the stupid comments! It wasn't a very helpful conversation for either of us, I feel!
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Hopeful... You are totally right. My BS (who I love actually) used the term "chemo-lite" with me about my then-proposed TC regimen, and I really wish she hadn't. First of all, it gave me an expectation that it would somehow be an "easy chemo" which led me to giving my bosses unrealistic expectations as to what I would be able to do during treatment. As soon as I met with my MO, I was appropriatly re-educated, but it didn't restore my credibility with my bosses who have now become distant as they think I'm just overly dramatic. Oh well.
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TortyLass - can't believe a BS said that and how very unfortunate that was in your situation. You must be about half way through - how are you feeling? I hope it's doing a bang up job on your c. cells.
My MO described it as akin to having the flu for about a week every three weeks, plus losing my hair, running the risk of neuropathy and a few other lovely side-effects that I'd have to review my notes to recall. Is that pretty much your experience?
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SlappySquirrel - Oh, wow - what a moron!! Definitely a junk-punch worthy comment. Sorry you had to put up with that!
NickiDanny - What a stupid remark, for sure...hope you are able to avoid that person as much as possible!!
Morwenna - I can totally relate to that conversation! I don't communicate anymore with one of my college friends who had breast cancer and was going through treatment when I was diagnosed and had my surgery. Having that happen has made me try to be super aware of what I say to people because I don't want to do to anyone else what she did to me. I know she didn't mean to be insensitive or belittle my diagnosis or situation, but she did and I had to cut things off. Another friend of mine was diagnosed recently and I now realize how tricky it can be sometimes when communicating. Good luck with your friend!
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Hopeful, first of all, hello!! I hope you're hanging in there and I totally heard my MO reference "chemo lite" when it was on the table for me. No such thing in my opinion
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Morweena, I have also had tricky conversations with other women with BC. One friend was going through chemo and preparing for surgery, and I mentioned that it must be tough to balance it all with mothering three young children. She said, "But what about you? You only have one. What if she died? You wouldn't have any." *AHEM* I gave her the benefit of the doubt that she was really stressed and not thinking straight.
The other friend's diagnosis was what prompted me to finally get around to getting a mammogram, and I wanted to touch base with her. She refused to miss a single day of work through all of chemo, never wanted to appear weak, and seem to scoff when I took any time off after surgery. I usually felt crappy after talking with her and wondered why I bothered. The final straw was when I told her that I had gotten a lot of good info from bc.org and she told me that only weirdos and trolls used those discussion boards. This weirdo troll didn't bother calling again to check on her health.
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