STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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Who is she lol? Inquiring minds want to know
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Italychick, It's best for no one to say.
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Leggo, stop stalking me, stop with the snide remarks, stop anything you do in relationship too me. I'm just so done with you.
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I'm rather new to all this, having only been diagnosed in August 2015, but I have already had my fill of breast cancer awareness. And I love pink--it's my signature color! How come they co-opted my color, so that people will think I'm all pro-BC awareness. I had to stop my mother from buying me a license plate with the pink ribbons on it! That I do NOT need!
My dog groomer found out I have BC, so she shared with me that she had BC about 12 years ago. BMX, chemo, radiation, the works, and she's NED--bully for her! She is a very upbeat person and I know she means well, but she is so forceful about me keeping a stiff upper lip. Yikes! And my sister-in-law too--she's in the "just cut them off" and "it could always be worse" camp. Yeah, I know I'm not going to die from BC, but could I please just have the right to feel a little anxious about this? it's not like I'm crying all the time or trying to kill myself. I just want to scream, "Please, don't shut me down like this. I have the right to feel what I feel!"
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I think there's an intrinsic reaction to finding out someone you know has to have their boobs cut off or irradiated or chemo'ed.
Most people want to be sympathetic and help. Most but not all. Some will project onto you like you're...an airplane flight. If your surg gets delayed, well then SO's Mommy will just arrange for him to help fix her $2 million house, holding inheritance and trusts over him so he can remain a kid at 50. Or SO's friends will call and say there are halibut or whatever 30 miles away.
t's gonna depend on what SO does when it goes down. If he tries to force his mom on me especially for any fishing related reason we are completely done.
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I am so angry with people who imply all disease, including cancer, is caused by either psychological problems or a fault of character of some sort!
Any clever comebacks to shut these idiots up?
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Just one Bounce.....Tell them to F&%k off! That would be my response. You don't have to put up with ANY stupidity. Hugs to all!
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Bounce, April's comeback is good. You can also tell them their day is coming or the best one would be to tell them to go over to St. Jude's and tell all the kids their explanation of why they have cancer.
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"1:3 will get cancer in their lifetime. How have you been feeling?"
The stare.
The walkaway.
Cut them out of your life.
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MusicLover and Sas!0 -
Thank you Ladies. It feels so good to be heard and understood.
Hugs to you all.
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bounce, how about telling them that being alive is the great risk for getting cancer, and they could be next? and ask them if they have gotten all the monitoring done, etc., that is necessary to expose cancer. They could have a bomb ticking inside them and not even know it. That should shut them up. I really hate the blame game. There is no rhyme or reason, my evaluated risk for ever contracting breast cancer was 5%!
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Tell 'em. One in Three will get cancer. I took the hit for YOUR dumb ass! You're Welcome.
And then walk away.
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Dang. That felt good. I didn't realize I had that in me!!!
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Italy chick , Bounce, April, ML.
. The new thing on the agenda that is being passed along is live a healthy lifestyle. Which implies if you have gotten cancer, you didn't live a healthy lifestyle. Science has shown some direct connections to cancer, but more is unknown than known. With the new campaign they are blaming all that got cancer. It supports the holier than thou group.To much in science has chosen what they want to support b/c it fits their agenda. Each of us can remember changes from year to year that something was good then it was bad. Only to return to being good again. Coffee, eggs, butter, margarine(trans-fat fiasco).
I'm a big science fan, but recognize we are in a state of flux like no other time in history. We made it as a species b/c we did much that was right. The epidemic of disease since the beginning of the industrial revolution, comparable to the Black Plague of the middle ages. Dunno. total numbers, but the trouble we're in has allot to do with chemicals. Not all of them perceived as bad. Antibiotics alter immunity. Immunity strength is associated with resistance to disease. We will be in a mess for a few more decades b/c we messed indiscriminately without respect to their use. Now add a greater understanding that even whether we were born by C-section or natural childbirth, impact our later well being.
Science will help us, eventually may save us. In the mean time, it has much to learn. Let us survive those that blame us
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Keys, yes, it's good to let things out once in awhile. Like I did just recently after being polite for 3 years. Nice
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yes Sas...the "blame the victim" mentality is alive and well. Late stage women often get the "Didn't you get your mammograms?" implying that they are at fault for it being found so late. Ugh! Also, anyone who is a bit chubby (raising my hand) is thought to have somehow caused their BC. So many vegan, exercise daily, no family history, regular mammo people end up with BC, this should NEVER be thought to be the victim's fault. None of us caused our bodies to make cancer cells...they just freaking did period. Phew, off my chest now.
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One beautiful young woman posted not long ago. She was the poster child for for healthy living. You could tell she was heartbroken about getting BC. She wanted to know why. I said it was a crapshoot. Considering I think the word crap is the ugliest word, that's what I think of what is known about cancer.
Science can do so much on defining things on a cellular level, but we aren't they're yet in the true why for any of us. Except the genetic linked. Even that is a mysterythough. In my own paternal side they're 21 women. 3 aunts and 19 women first cousins. 12 cancers. 9 are bc. Some premenopausal, some postmenopausal. The mix range on the cancers are from the 'super poster child picture of health to the non poster child' so to speak. Why did some develop cancer and others didn't? Why did some die that were from the super healthy group? Why did some survive that were the smoking , drinking, overweight? Crapshoot. Sure they're is a genetic thingy. But by science's preset and promulgation of what will prevent cancer an death from cancer, it doesn't follow. They're is something unknown.
Weight is an example. I so wish I could get back to the seminal study that said weight was a factor. A statistic of x% said women that who were over weight or obese had a greater chance of getting cancer. Also, in that same study was a y% for women of normal weight and their chance of getting cancer. Over time studies have used that first study to promulgate the party line about weight. I have no clue what those numbers were, but if they read like 52% of overweight etc and 48% normal weight etc blah. The margin difference is not that far off. But in all subsequent studies the info has been so heavily(no pun) weighted towards overweight. Studies that follow the party line have an easier time getting published.
Using a different but relavant example that most are familiar with is the food pyramid. Think about how many times it has been revised in your own lifetime? Think about the American Heart Associations revision on many areas of heart care and treatment. I used to teach paramedics /EMT-A's. The joke between us as teachers was what are we teaching this year?
The Women's Health Study(Harvard) that is used for so many studies is also known as the Nurses Study. The total number is something like176,000. Nurses were used b/c they were a large cooperative group with easy access to labs. What has never been studied is whether the group was actually representative of all women? So, what does that mean to the information extrapolated from that study?
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Its bad enough people thinking lifestyle alone could be the cause of cancer but I am crazy angry that some people think your thoughts can give you cancer (or cure you of cancer).
I believe your attitude makes a difference to how you get through everything but if my thoughts could have such a powerful effect I can assure you my idiot family member would be sitting on a rocket of my imagining heading to Mars right now!
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Bounce great description LOL.
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Sometimes I wish there was a "like" button for some of these posts...
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LOL Bounce!
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Bad freakin' luck. That's what it is and don't let anyone tell you or imply differently.
No one knows why cells start to multiply uncontrollably. Once they figure that out, then we can all blame ourselves for something. Or nothing. Until then, Just bad f---- luck.
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I went for Genetic Counseling 7 years before I got cancer.
When my BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 tests came back negative I was relieved and smiled happily.
The counselor looked at me and said: "This is nothing to be happy about. With your family history it is not a question of if you will get cancer - only a question of when."
And yet this person who shall remain unnamed persists in asking me if I don't see the connection between my inner state of being and disease.
She is more unhealthy for me than anything else but for the sake of family peace I cannot tell her to F%$ Off or hit her upside the head. I think I am going to write her a long letter in which I state how she makes me feel - just to get it off my chest - but not actually send it to her. The funny thing is that I do see how inner problems can manifest as disease - I just don't think it is always the case. However - she is giving me a bad dose of the crazies. I have to either evict her or start charging her rent as she is living inside my head.
Incidentally - I would like to rant about the genetic counselor too.
I used to fantasize about blowing up peoples cars (and not looking back) but maybe I will just make room for him on the rocket to Mars.
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LOL...love that you are saying this stuff here in a "safe" place and not to them. The older I get, the harder it is to hold back! BTW, make some room on that rocket for a few of my crazy relatives, will ya? Thanks!
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OK. It started with a comment about wine causes bc.
I posted, "Darn, I just gave up cocktails for wine. I thought wine was healthier for you."
Then it evolves into any alcohol creates estrogen. "I'm like, but I'm on AIs". I don't have any estrogen." Then a big lecture about fat, healthy lifestyle, alcohol...blah...blah...blah. I'm like, "Why don't you just shoot me now" (just thinking it, didn't say it). I'm thinking, what the F#%k else is this cancer going to take away from me? I just shut my mouth and left the thread.
The next day I found a wonderful thread about ladies who drink (in moderation) and are living life, telling bad jokes and just having fun. Guess who crept in? The hypocrite from the other thread. First she blasts everyone on the site (fat, healthy lifestyle, alcohol, blah...blah...blah). Then she tried to be a buddy and said, "I'm so stressed. I think I have a drink....or two" (with a little happy face). What a hypocritical be-och. Just trying to suck the life out of everyone.
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Many here have donated . Thank you !........Wandering around and cheerleading again
Donate today, make a difference directly in all our lives. By supporting BCO, we support each other. Thanks and Hugs
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/110/topic/834331?page=1
Link to the mainboard donation page
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Wow Keyz, nothing frosts my cookies as much as a damn hypocrite. I would have blasted her (but she would not have known it until she really thought about it cause I am evil like that...lol) and then I would have made sure that I called her out for the hypocrite that she is. I would have said "Hey....doesn't wine make you fat which stores estrogen and causes BC? That is what you said on the other thread so am very surprised to see you here." At least I would have said that..
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april485....So you saw that too? I didn't know where she was coming from. I was beginning to wonder if it was me. I didn't want to be all negative and upset the newbies, so I just left. The gals on the other thread weren't to crazy about her comments either. But they were nice about it.
I feel validated. I can laugh about it now. Thanks.
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