STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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Thanks, bennybear. My MO's practice also has a social worker. Social workers can be trained in many different ways, as can psychologists. My therapist actually got the law changed in my state so that psychologists could prescribe certain medications. That is uncommon. Quite a bit of extra training is required. What I think many cancer patients suffer is something called situational depression. Yeah, it's called depression. And, no, I'm not calling you crazy.
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What is the hell is the difference between recurring bc and bc cancer that just keeps rearing its ugly head??? I had dcis in May of 2000, idc in May of last year and now they found another small 1 cm mass or "area" of concern rt below or behind my nipple. In 2000 I had a lumpectomy with rads, last year lumpectomy. My Oncodx score was a 1!!!!! 100% pos for hormones but her2 pos, clear margins....everything looks peachy. Now this! I am mad as hell and do not want the biopsy...I am 69 years old on Monday with diabetes and RA all this shit....well I just don't need it. I have had to give up 4 summers for health issues....I live way up north. ~sigh. So I was wondering what the difference is between recurring and non recurring. Anything that is earth shattering?
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CreatureKeeper...that co-worker is a b$tc& c*n%!
Throw the "malocchio" (evil eye) at her. I hate it when these people try and tell you what to do. Cancer's no walk in the park - you NEED YOUR REST in order to heal. Just wait until SHE GETS cancer! As women, we have a one in eight chance of just getting BC, not too mention all the other cancers out there: lymphoma, colon, lung, pancreatic, liver, brain...the list goes on and on.
She's "stunad" (stupid, ignorant) and "scustumad" (rude, no manners, tactless).
(There's your three "bonus" Italian words for the day
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Lita57 .. LOL .. I can't wait to return to work and give her the malocchio in person. Being half Sicilian, I do it well.
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I just had my lumpectomy yesterday. Everything was going well, woke up with minimal pain and went on a 2 mile walk. My husband and I did some light cleaning and then decided to take my bandages off so I could finally take a shower. The first bandage came off ok but when we started on the second, I started feeling lightheaded. Stupid me was standing up and I fainted before he could get to me. I hit my mouth on the counter. Chipped one of my front teeth and lacerated my lip. Almost knocked my tooth out.Stupid cancer.
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Oh, my, that's really adding injury to injury. And you really overdid it. I was told to keep the surgical bra on for 48 hours and just do bird baths those first few days. And to take it easy! Although it was outpatient, it's still surgery.
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Schwetty it might be a new cancer perhaps and not the same one that "recurred". It may have different characteristics perhaps?
I think MO basically feel if you are not Stage IV you should not be "worried" at all and do not understand why people should feel how they do. I loved my old one and this one who took over (same practice) is one who deals only with breast cancer. She has a whole different attitude though than the first one. She treats more aggressively right off the bat and was surprised I was not treated a certain way, which of course caused more fear. She doesn't understand why I'm worried though after she said "your tumor was HUGE" and "why did not do radiation therapy right away?" But of course now I'm not to be worried.
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Lita57: OMG, thank you for the Italian lesson. I have not heard some of those words in many years and needed a refresher course. LOL
bennybear: I think we agree that access to a counselor during treatment for BC would be an asset since dealing with grief and loss is an individual experience and none of us can live another's experience. I feel the psychological aspects of BC (or any chronic disease for that matter) are sometimes downplayed or ignored in favor of the physical ones; those physicians feel comfortable dealing with. They ask you to complete (both the RO and MO) an assessment form regarding your anxiety/stress level but there was no actual follow-up once completed. I asked what happens to these forms and never received a satisfactory answer; some mumbling about they are evaluated...but no actual follow-up plan was presented.
Unfortunately, many insurance companies do not pay for psychological or psychiatrist support and the out of pocket cost in my area for a psychiatrist specializing in BC patients was $550 for the first visit of 45 minutes and $375/ 45 minutes thereafter. Insurance was not accepted so I would surmise this was too expensive for most. Referral to a clinic was discussed with care provided by psychiatric residents in training on a sliding scale payment plan but access was limited to a few hours per week. The days and hours were oddball and not convenient for those who were employed full-time.
I had access to a SW but the scope of practice was limited and did not include psychological support beyond being present during anxiety producing procedures. It was the SW who suggested a psychologist, provided a list of those locally and I did share my experience with the SW when I decide to terminate the relationship. Plus, none on the list specialized in BC counseling.
DogMomRunner: Ouch! Anesthesia can take 24-48 hours to be metabolized and excreted from the body (depends upon the type used and the individual response) so your discharge instructions should have mentioned not resuming normal activities for this time period. Sorry that you hit your mouth and tooth and wish you a speedy recovery. Rest is also important to recovery including wound healing so give yourself time to do both.
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bc in Colorado....thank you for your response!! Wow....Huge and not to worry??? Well I wonder if it were her sister or daughter if SHE would worry! Right?
Yea....I just am still in a state of shock I guess. And a little scared. And mad as hell that they want another damn biopsy.
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It just occurred to me that if we added an H to the word Anger, this would be Steam Room For Hanger - a place to air your dirty laundry. Ha ha! Get it? Oh my god.
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jaycee- I completely concur with your views on the stigma attached to antidepressants and mental health issues in general. Antidepressants do not suppress your true emotions. There are also many different reasons for taking antidepressants. There are some individuals who need them for a short time to assist in dealing with an acute loss whether it be a death, divorce, cancer diagnosis or etc. There are those who suffer from major depression who will remain on antidepressants for most of their lives. I do believe there is a tendency to over medicate. We need better analysis from our doctors, social workers and counselors in assessing the situation.
Most major cancer centers provide social workers who are trained in breast cancer issues. While you are receiving treatment, the service what's provided free of charge at my facility. Once treatment ended if you wanted to continue with the oncology social worker you had to pay. As with most of us that comes with a high deductible or co-pay.
Micmel- my heart breaks for you as I hear you vent about your pain, fear and frustration in dealing with this damn disease. I am glad you do have your dogs and family to provide you with some joy. I am so sorry about the loss of your father. You've been dealing with so many losses . At times, it's difficult to find the right words to say. All I can tell you is we're here for you.
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Micmel:
I wish I had words that would offer you comfort at this time. You offer comfort to so many as they struggle, so it is difficult to not be able to do the same for you. All I can offer is a hug and that others do care.
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jo6359, thank you for the support. Coincidentally, I was reading my Ibrance thread this AM and several people mentioned taking an antidepressant for hot flashes and aches and pains (side effects of hormone suppression). MO's commonly prescribe Effexor or Lexapro for this purpose. They are all happy with the result. And the side effect of the antidepressant? They are in a "better mood."
My MO's social worker is a twit of a guy who I would't go to to talk about anything, much less my BC.
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Thank you ladies, at least he isn't laying in that bed for 21 hours a day, doing nothing. I love the fact I had my time with him. I am focusing on that. It will take time I realize. I think my grief is amplified bythis beast that I carry around inside of me we all have in common. Makes facing this. Equally scary and thinking what will be will be. I obviously couldn't change my dads outcome. I'm realizing I cannot change how things go for myself either. I'm going to really try to stop worrying as much. Even as I face a scan with a pretty darn sore rib area and shoulder pain... both shoulders! Every time I am ready for scans, a new ache or ten appears! It's maddening. Thanks again wonderful ladies !
~M~
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micmel, it is a process, I like the wave analogy, sometimes little ones at your feet, other times a big one comes out of nowhere and knocks you off your feet. Any loss brings up all other losses so no wonder you are struggling with this heavy load. Peace and strength!
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Well. My sister just compared her latest visit to her eye doctor - to get glasses, mind you, not for any other issues - with my three surgeries and radiation I went through last year. She seems to think she had a rougher time. Are you effing kidding me?
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Come on, AliceBastable, having the eye doctor continually ask "which is better, 1 or 2?" is stressful. What if you answer wrong and don't get the right eye glass prescription?
It reminds me of when my SIL sympathetically compared my mastectomy to a zit on her breast that wasn't healing quickly. Yup, almost the same thing, don't you think?
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Beesie, it's terrifying how many of these self-obsessed nitwits are out there. My sister is particularly frustrating because she refuses to go to doctors (except dentists and optometrists), but she's a hypochondriac with a long list of self-diagnosed illnesses for which she demands sympathy.
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Beesie and Alice, No words! Unbelievable!
I had a friend who told me her divorce was much worse then her neighbour's husband dying of cancer. Some people just have NO idea!
My favourite thing now is when friends complain about buying a bathng suit, I suggest they should try it with one boob!
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Have any of you seen the movie " It" by Stephen King from the 1990's---original one, not the current remake. There is a scene where one of the kids rides his bicycle as fast as he can to outrun the monster. He said " I thought if I rode fast enough I would be ok" or something to that effect. Last night I was coming home from my nephews graduation. I was the only one on a stretch of the highway and I pressed on the gas- going faster and faster. I wanted to outrun the cancer. I thought " if I go fast enough maybe I can outrun it". Stupid, I know. I could have ran off the road and that would have been all she wrote. But the feeling of the open window and the wind and speed made me feel it was possible for a short time. Now back to reality.
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candy - stupid or not we get it. BC is such an insidious disease. It totally does a number on us emotionally, physically and financially. Even as the years go by it will always be a part of us. We are forever branded with the C word.
Unless someone even our doctors go through it they can’t possibly understand. Treatments notwithstanding we still have it and we still panic at least I do when it’s time for the annual mammogramand I’m 8 years out next month God willing.
Diane
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I've been thinking about this for a while. I read A LOT. It is pretty common to find in some prose something like, "growing like a cancer" or just "like a cancer." I hadn't thought of it for a while but in the book I just finished, it happened again. So common and annoying.
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I am so mad at cancer right now. Livid. I found out thursday last week I have bone mets less than a yr from diagnosis. All my previous scans were clean before starting chemo. Then during my planning scan for radiation after I healed from my mastectomy they found bone mets...I don't know about organs/brain yet..scans for all that all this week. MO told me she is very concerned all this grew new and spread while doing AC-T. I sit here in utter shock. I am shattered. I am terrified. Especially knowing why my back has been hurting so bad lately. Then Saturday morning I found out my mother whom I have been estranged from for 17 yrs (not by choice) is dying of ovarian cancer that had spread to her colon and stomach....nobody in my family called to tell me, I only found out when I called my grandmother to let her know I've progressed, then she out of nowhere said "Well, you know your mom has cancer".....When she described the condition my mom is in now I just about dropped the phone, told her I was tired and I needed to go. To say these last few days have been hard would be an understatement and i am SO mad at cancer. It is heartless. It is cruel. It robs. If one more person tells me to be positive I'll knock them out. That's all I have tried to be as I dragged myself to the finishline of chemo thinking I'm doing everything I can and It failed me. I FEEL DESTROYED.
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radagasrabbit- Cancer sucks. It is a scary monster who sneaks up on you when you least expect it. It is especially terrifying knowing that a cancer grows while you are receiving treatment. It's hard to wrap your brain around sometimes. You can be absolutely positive that cancers a bitch. I'm hoping for you that once all your scans are completed you can find good treatment options.
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Radagastrabbit, I'm so sorry. The double whammy! (Tripe whammy, since you just went through treatment). There aren't any words that will help right now but I can offer a virtual hug.
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RadagastRabbit, all I can offer is a gentle hug and a large bottle of your choice of booze - because sometimes, temporary oblivion is the only good place left.
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RadagastRabbit Hugs across the miles and prayers you find strength as you determine the best treatment plan for yourself going forward. I hope you have clarity with your decision making and good options to select from.
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RadagastRabbit, So very sorry to hear about the monster. Wishing you all the best.
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I think I've found a new irritation. It doesn't take much lately.🙅
Newbies here who haven't even been diagnosed yet, but are all "NOT MEEE!!! I can't have cancer!!!" Um, can't they tell from the name of this site that the vast majority of members here actually HAVE fucking cancer, or have had it and are in the ever vigilant category? Freak out all you want, newbies, if that's your thing, but use a damn filter. What are we, chopped liver? (Or chopped boob, to be more accurate)
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Alice, and they stamp their little feet when they don’t get what the consider adequate attention here. I bet with myself on the ones I think will hit 100 posts before they get their (almost certainly benign) biopsy results.
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