STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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letrozole was the major suck for me. Canned it after 5 weeks. Arimidex is same process so no point trying it. The other one uses a different process but it's way too expensive. Tamoxifen it is. At least no big ses on it.
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Random runny nose? Is that a known side effect? I hadn't heard that, but it would explain something that's been happening to me for over a year.
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I have a perpetual runny nose due to my herceptin/perjeta drugs. Of course because I was taken off them to rebuild my stamina and strength, it does not drip at all. Must say, I am not looking forward to taking those drugs again.
The only time I feel well anymore is walking briskly. Walking around the neighbourhood has nice scenery, but not enough energy boost for the buck. Treadmill walking allows me to go faster in a safe way and keep going. Hoping this will hold true with the drugs. I did not have the treadmill before so we will see. I may even ask about dropping the Perjeta and just doing the one drug? Will check with MO. Don't want to rely on others to look after me. Need strength to take care of myself.
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Started back on chemo this morning after a month's break. I had just noticed the hair on my head and my eyebrows growing back. Might explain the crappy mood I have been in the past few days. My actual rant has to do with my husband. We have been married for 44 years. Mostly happy! We each do things that drive the other crazy, but it works out. My DH knows NOTHING about computers. I worked for 30 years in a public library. I had to teach myself how to use computers, both software and hardware. I taught classes to the public so they would be able to use their home computers or the library computers. It was not hard. Mainly tedious, but necessary. A few years ago, my DH started an Internet business. With much help from a business partner, he kept it running for a few years. It has since closed, but he still has a website in his name. I noticed a charge on his AMEX for $310.00 from a web hosting company. He said he would find out. First he called his business partner for info. Then he called the company. Then he called me out of the shower to talk with the customer service rep. He said he could not figure out what she wanted him to do. Basically it had to do with him not knowing his password and she could not access his account without that. The email for the account was still in the business partner's name so he had to get involved to retrieve the password. I was polite to the CSR, but went off on my DH. The word enabler comes to mind for myself, but WHY can he not learn how important passwords and email is in the modern world. I worry he will be totally lost if I (or someone like me) is not around to help him navigate technology. I have tried to teach him, but the bottom line is he does not have to learn. I do not understand someone refusing to keep up with change and being in control of their life.
Just had to get that off my chest. Thanks!
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JCS I can really relate to your aggravation. My husband is a luddite who was dragged kicking and screaming every step of the way into the 21st century, while I am tech geek who fell in love with computers even before the first desk top. I still remember how mad my husband was when his company gave him a phone and took his beeper away haha (although these days he's texting on his phone all day long)! And when he was finally forced to use a computer at work, we had to hire a tutor because I was tearing my hair out trying to teach him the most basic things. What finally got him learning was an iPad, for some reason it wasn't as intimidating as a desktop or laptop computer, and because he liked it and would use it, he slowly increased his knowledge and became a little more comfortable with technology, although still not where he needs to be. At least now he can google something and find a youtube instruction video all on his own hahaha! But I still handle almost everything.
When I got my Stage IV Dx, I realized that he wouldn't even know how to pay the bills after I was gone. He wouldn't even SEE the bills to know what had to be paid because most are e-bills. There are so many things I handle that he wouldn't even have a clue to know where to begin. One of the first things I did after my Dx was start a binder for him with not only account User IDs and passwords, but basic instructions on how to use each site (lots of work). Slowly so I don't overload him, I'm trying to walk him through how to do all of the tech things I've always done so he's at least a little familiar with them. And some of it is so simple - how to switch over from live TV to streaming content, how to use the app to control the security cameras...he just got so used to how easy it was to just let me handle everything that he never bothered to learn.
I hate reminding him that he NEEDS to learn how to do these things now because I'm not going to be here, but it's the truth. I knew it was finally sinking in when he suggested that we buy another laptop that could be set up for him to easily find the things he'll need. He still hasn't used it because he prefers to do things on his iPad, but at least it will be ready for him when he needs it. I do worry that he's going to be so lost, but then he gives me those puppy dog eyes and tells me that he always thought I would be here forever. <sigh>
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Ooh, I've got one of those Luddites, too! I'm not the most computer-savvy myself, but I try to learn what I need, and I'm not afraid to poke around and try to find answers. I was cranky because Hubby hooked up a new printer and it wouldn't work, and let it sit like that for weeks. I had to email him my medical paperwork at work to print out! Grrrrr. So one day when he was checking sports scores on-line (his big internet venture), I leaned over him, wiped his slack-jaw drool off the mouse, and clicked on the "help" button on the printer icon. I may have screamed READ IT right in his ear. 😗 It turned out to be such an easy problem to fix that he was embarrassed. I was too stubborn to fix it for him at that point.
Do not piss off a woman on Tamoxifen.
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I love the idea of a binder. It appeals to my love of organization. I already keep a list of passwords so this would work, too. He does have an IPad and uses it to look at Facebook and Google a few things. He does not know how to put pictures on Facebook or do anything more than ‘share’ content. He cannot use medical portals or order things through Amazon. He has never attempted online banking! The other day, he was printing something that turned out to be lots of pages. I was able to stop the print job and showed him again how to copy and paste so he could just print what he wants. Left clicking is a challenge. I do not understand how someone can choose not to learn.
Oh! And he uses an ancient flip phone that does not text, take pictures or do anything other than make and receive phone calls. I get stuck sending texts for him using my phone. Sigh... I am definitely an enabler.
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JCS, I wish my DH didn't know how to order from Amazon. I'd be rich.
Alice, every time I see your name, I see Alice Be Stable. That's what I want to be ... stable.
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Jaycee: Translated into Spanish, Alice's name sounds like: Alice goes stable (like she goes to some place being stable) Beautiful
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Jaycee, AMEN!!!
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My user name is stolen from a fictional character in a short story series of books written by Edith Nesbit in the late 19th - early 20th century. Last year, on a whim, I named my breasts after the two sisters in the stories: Dora, the older (bigger) one was well-behaved, and Alice, who was a scrappy little thing, was greatly admired by her brothers because she could fight as well as they did. 😀 I also named Sidney the Kidney when that cancer was found, for Sidney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities, who sacrificed himself so another could live ("It is a far, far, better thing..").
I guess it's good I wasn't naming body parts when I had a hysterectomy. Endora the witchy Endometrium? 😈
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mass shootings. 3 places in a week. 😢
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Makes you want to transition as soon as possible.
But at least if you get a bullet to the head, you die quickly.
Having a rough time with swelling, pain and insomnia-ironic 'cuz I'm so fatigued and weak. I've been thinking of making a sign, and instead of putting a destination on it like we used to do in the 70,s (e.g. Monterey Peninsula or Big Sur), I'd go stand out on the freeway overpass with one saying, "PLEASE! Someone shoot me in the head!"
We have dozens of gangs up here. I wonder how long it would take one of the boys (or girls - we have plenty of girl gangs now, too) to cap me in the head?
It's a win-win as I see it...I'd be gone and I wouldn't have to pay X thousand dollars for the suicide pills.
Physician Assisted Suicide....geez! Give me a break! YOU have to go to those appts and get TWO drs to sign off on it, take a psych eval, write letters, and then YOU have to smash up the 30-odd pills and dissolve them in a beverage, and YOU have to suck it down w/out barfing and hope it STAYS DOWN until it does the job, which could take hours. The process can take weeks, so you have to get the ball rolling PDQ. Don't wait until you're on Hospice, totally bed-bound, and only semi-coherent or you might get denied
Why can't it be like The Netherlands? They literally come over to your house, give you an injection, and that's that. I understand certain vets here are now performing this type of service so you don't have to traumatize your pet any more than you have to. S/He dies peacefully in the comfort of his/her own home and you can spend as much time with them as you want to.
Sigh....unfortunately, we won't see this type of service for humans for at least several more decades. Really pisses me off. Our pets get better treatment than we do. They don't have to suffer, but if you walk on two legs (or in my case, BARELY SHUFFLE across the floor with a cane/walker) YOU have to suffer to the bitter end unless you want to cough up the dough, pay for the pills and gag them down yourself. (Physician Assisted Suicide...my rear end.)
Sucks to be human, that's for sure!!!
L
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My friend and I were discussing sure ways to die. Couldn't find 1 sure way. Shot in the head may not kill you.
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I feel the same way as you wrenn.
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Wrenn, discussing assisted death with a friend who is a death doula, she said there are still glitches in the Canadian system. As it stands, once you have all the paperwork in order (whatever that is) there is a 10 day wait before they will 'put you out'. If, in that 10 days, you become comatose and unresponsive, THEY WILL NOT ASSIST YOU TO DIE. You must be alert and of sound mind and on the day of your death when they ask you if you still want to die, you must be able to say yes. If you are a curled up, quivering blob that's how they leave you.
She said the problem with that is that people who might yet have weeks left to live fairly well, weeks that they could spend with their loved ones, are RUSHED to a perhaps earlier than required death for fear that they will become vegetative and be denied death when they most obviously need it. The system is still hung up on the legalities and not being responsive and fluid enough to deal with the real needs of people. I had never thought of it in that light. People choose to die when things are still pretty good because wiating until things are bad means they might be denied. I had hoped that one could get all the paperwork in order and then when things are super bad, call the doc and say come tomorrow at 10. Nope. Even if your paperwork is all in order well in advance, you still wait 10 days from the initial phone call. I can see where this is both good and bad.
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I don't know how the legal system is in Canada. But in the US,the threat of legal action is one reason we don't do right by those with a terminal illness. To me, it is sad and ridiculous that we can't figure out a better way. At least Canada has something in place, although imperfect
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The shootings leave me so sad. The lack of choice those people had about how their lives would end is what makes me sad. The same can be said of not having a choice to end your life when you want to die with dignity during an illness. At least Canada realizes this is a possibility. The USA not so much.
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I found some very specific info on a website by an organization called Death With Dignity. For instance about the process of taking the medication:
Preparing and Ingesting the Medication
The most frequently prescribed medicine is a large dose of a sleeping medication, most commonly a barbiturate, in powder form. It is mixed with about 4 ounces of liquid before you, the person for whom it is prescribed, drink it. The full amount needs to be ingested within two minutes. Because the medication has a rather bitter taste, have a small glass of a delicious tasting liquid handy to cleanse your palate after drinking the entire amount of life-ending medication. Most patients fall asleep peacefully about 10 minutes after drinking the life ending medication, and die in 1-3 hours. In about 5 percent of patients, it takes longer than 6 hours to die, but they sleep comfortably the whole time, until death ensues.
I'm pretty sure I could not drink 4 ounces of a very bitter liquid in 2 minutes. I have trouble swallowing all my pills. This is not the great option it is purported to be. Disappointing. Oh, and it is not even legal in my state.
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Here is what Death With Dignity says about cost:
Cost varies based on medication type and availability as well as the protocol used (additional medications must be consumed prior to the lethal medications at an extra cost). The following are only estimates as prices and availability change. The actual prescription depends on the physician's assessment.
Pentobarbital in liquid form cost about $500 until about 2012, when the price rose to between $15,000 and $25,000. The price increase was caused by the European Union's ban on exports to the US because of the drug being used in capital punishment, a practice that is illegal and deemed deplorable there; many international pharmaceutical companies don't export the drug to the United States for the same reason. Users then switched to the powdered form, which cost between $400 and $500.
The dose of secobarbital (brand name Seconal) prescribed under death with dignity laws costs $3,000 to $5,000.
Due to the increase in the cost of Seconal, alternate mixtures of medications has been developed by physicians in Washington state. The phenobarbital/chloral hydrate/morphine sulfate mix produces a lethal dose that is similar in effect to Seconal. The cost of this alternate mix is approximately $450 to $500. A second alternative, consisting of morphine sulfate, Propranolol (Inderal), Diazepam (Valium), Digoxin and a buffer suspension costs about $600. A compounding pharmacy will need to prepare each mixture.
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Link stolen from Frisky on the Fenben thread:
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/05/well/live/cancer-treatment-at-the-end-of-life.html
The NYT will try to get you to create an account but you don't have to to read the article.
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I think we have something like that here is the US called palliative sedation. (We never use the word terminal here.) Regularly done, I think. Case in point, Beth Chapman, Dog the Bounty hunter's wife. It was all over the news that she was put in a "medically induced coma." No one from the death with dignity movement jumped on that but they should have. Or maybe not. The lifers would have jumped back and we might have lost that, too.
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ASA Clarifies Medically Induced Coma Versus Sedation
Written by Rachel Fields | January 20, 2011 | ">Print | Email
Medically induced comas differ from sedation in the level of unconsciousness, according to a release issued by the American Society of Anesthesiologists.
According to the ASA, a medically induced coma occurs when a patient receives a controlled dose of an anesthetic, typically propofol, pentobarbital or thiopental, to cause a temporary coma or deep state of unconsciousness. Patients in medically induced comas generally have brain injuries with swelling that have not responded to other treatments. The coma is able to protect the brain from swelling by reducing the metabolic rate of brain tissue and cerebral blood flow.
Sedation, on the other hand, puts the patient in a "semi-conscious state" rather than a very deep unconscious state, allowing the patient to be comfortable during surgery with minimal side effects. Sedation can be administered in ASCs and physician offices, whereas medically induced comas are only appropriate in ICUs.0 -
I realize a gunshot to the head may not necessarily kill you....especially if it just grazes the side of your head or creases your forehead.
Also the size and caliber of the bullet makes a difference. A small caliber bullet won't do as much damage as one shot from a .44 Magnum, "The GLOCK 19 Gen4 pistol or the 9 mm Luger offers great firepower while allowing to shoot quick and accurately. It is ideal for a more versatile role due to its reduced dimensions, without sacrificing all-important magazine capacity."
ALWAYS practice weapon/gun safety!!! Keep them locked up (in a large fire-proof safe, preferably), and keep the ammo/rounds locked up separately, too. My dad taught all his kids how to shoot and to be respectful of the dangers involved with firearms. He emphasized that they are TOOLS not TOYS. He always displayed his rifles proudly, including a Japanese rifle he got in WWII.
WE DESPERATELY need GUN CONTROL!!! They are too easy to get. And don't get me started on gun shows! Some people say the NRA owns/controls this country. I wouldn't doubt it.
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Lita- Yes we need Gun Control. And Yes the NRA runs everything. Money, money, money.
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Wrenn, I agree. Although our system is not perfect, it's better than nothing at all. I think of the friend I lost early June to terminal pancreatic cancer and she decided when it was time to go. I miss her daily emails.
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I really was so sad for that 25 year old mother killed protecting her baby. God
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My DH is a gun person. He used to hunt, but not much anymore. We own several guns that are locked in a gun safe requiring two keys to open. I personally hate guns. After watching PBS Newshour tonight, my DH admitted he thinks AK-47s and large gun magazines should be banned. Hallelujah! One at a time we can make change.
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And everyone needs to vote!
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it's kind of sad really and I say this as a professional police officer. Here we have beautiful women and men suffering terminal illness and having little to no access to those medications that will help them transition peacefully yet we gave this EPIDEMIC of young healthy people dying from fentanyl overdoses. Doesn't any one but me see the answer in front of us?
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